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User Topic: Sickened!!
olwen
♀ Member
Member # 39759
Default  Posted: 4:18 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please please please get him out of your life and your daughter's.

That is something I could never tolerate.

I agree with everyone else, it's great your daughter could tell you and be heard.


Together 19yrs
me BS 36
him WS 41 (silent lucidity)
ea 1 facebook flirting with an ex 2011
ea/pa - co worker 6wks feb to apr2013 pa for 1 wk with sex one time
too much tt to count = latest tt 30/7/14

Posts: 804 | Registered: Jul 2013
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Normal men do not feel that way or act that way. Never. Not once.

Sexual predators? All the time.

He may have somewhat restrained himself up until now, but he won't be able to forever. There will be other young females in and out of your house, future grandchildren, etc. They don't get over it and they don't get better.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't want to give you anything more to con cern yourself with..but I have to say something.

He has been having sexual thoughts about your DD. Most likely, this has been going on since she was younger. How long has she been her stepdad?

I'd bet the bank that he has done more.

A little background...my stepfather raped me as a teen. Leading up to this, it was discovered he was sniffing my panties out of the hamper. He had put a video camera in the bathroom, up in the vent, to watch me while I was showering. He stole some of my panties. He also was very loose when it came to punishing me..encouraging me to hang out with boys who were "bad." It turned him on to think I was having sex with these boys. I know this because during the first rape, he told me all of this...well..we found the videos years later. They started when I was 13.

Your DD has been in his sights for a long time now. That he just admitted it means shit. He has been doing this for a long time.

Your DD is in danger. I can not stress that enough.

My stepfather was an abusive son of a bitch. We all lived in fear of him. He raped me many times..until I actually started giving myself to other boys...then.."I'd get about as much pleasure out of you as a bucket of water or a hole in the fence"..and he stopped. I had to turn myself into a slut to get him to stop hurting me.

Please get your DD into IC. She will need it.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7696 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
soccermom9
♀ Member
Member # 43805
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My daughter was 12 when we married.


Me: 44
WH: 43
Dday: 6-20-14
He admitted to drunken sex at massage parlor!
Attempting reconciliation

Posts: 66 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Kentucky
TheIrishGirl
♀ Member
Member # 43496
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you spoken with your daughter about this again? You should let her know that you are separating. Make sure she knows it's not her fault in the least. Make sure she knows you take what she said seriously, that you will do anything to make her feel safe, that if there is anything else she wants to tell you you'll listen and support her.

I think you're doing the right thing. I'm so sorry it came about like this. And I'm so sorry that it is hard.


Me: 31, BW Him: 38, WH
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email

Posts: 585 | Registered: May 2014
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are all right ! Talked to pastor and ending things asap!

So glad to hear this, sweetie.

You're going to be ok - and your DD will see that you love her unconditionally. I'm very proud of you.


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,22 mo.& 2 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5079 | Registered: May 2007
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Soccermom,

I'm glad you made the decision to protect your DD.

I have college age daughters. The fact that she couldn't dismiss the red flag waving in her room, and told you about it. The fact that he admitted to thoughts - really bothered me. IT IS SICKENING! It should be!

So glad you are listening to your dd and him! It really bothers me he thinks his behavior was ok.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5282 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
soccermom9
♀ Member
Member # 43805
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He realizes he has an issue and understand that he will live without me as a result of his actions. It's going to be a ling hard road!


Me: 44
WH: 43
Dday: 6-20-14
He admitted to drunken sex at massage parlor!
Attempting reconciliation

Posts: 66 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Kentucky
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

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