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User Topic: When it can't get any worse..
OakStreet
♀ Member
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday was a bad day when my DS (19) and my step-daughter found out about their dad's affair.

It was a LONG day, with discussion with son at 7 am, step-daughter later that morning and telling WH during our first/resumed MC session at 4 pm.

Dealing with ALL those emotions was sad and exhausting.

This morning, my mother called to tell me my brother was dead. Suicide. This is the third of five children she has buried.

My brother is at peace. He has been in pain for a long time. I am just so sad for his two sons, 31 and 19. And for my poor mother.

My son is devastated for his cousin. But he came home and told his dad, "If I hadn't talked to (sister) this evening, who calmed me down, my foot would be in your ass."

Just too much on my plate.....and thanks in advance for your wishes.


Me: 58
Him: 65
Married: 21 years (well, we'll say 19 now!).
One son: 19, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
18 month EA/PA with COW
Dday #2: 4/16/14 - took it underground for 5 months.
Haven't decided on outcome.

Posts: 436 | Registered: Nov 2013
CheaterMagnet
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((((OakStreet))))))))))))))

Sending you and your whole family peace and strength. I really have no words and I cannot fathom your pain. Please lean on us here anytime.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1031 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
Althea
♀ Member
Member # 37765
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((OakStreet)))

I have been at that place of feeling like you are down and out and just being kicked around by life. Just have faith things will get better (they will) and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Try to find something beautiful each day just to remind yourself that beauty and happiness is still out there.


Taking it one day at a time.

Posts: 457 | Registered: Dec 2012
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((OakStreet)))

I am so, so sorry at the loss of your brother, and everything else that is going on.

Sometimes it seems too much to bear, but you will make it. Baby steps.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
jendo
♀ Member
Member # 43059
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I"m so sorry. That is a lot...

Posts: 181 | Registered: Apr 2014
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((OakStreet and family)) Peace and strength to you and yours.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5136 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're in my thoughts and prayers. So sorry about the loss of your brother.



Posts: 804 | Registered: Apr 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sympathies and (((hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5821 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh (((Oak Street)))) I am so, so very sorry.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8687 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG OakStreet I'm just so sorry. Exhausting has to be an understatement.

We are here for you. Sending hugs and strength.

(((OakStreet)))


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17328 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. That is a lot for anyone.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1758 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 12:44 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry for you loss. Lean on us, we can carry you for awhile until you can get your bearings again. Drink lots of water, and remember to eat something, anything you can keep down. It all takes time, and that is just painful.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2966 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
Arden
♀ Member
Member # 44285
Default  Posted: 1:45 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so, so sorry. This must seem so overwhelming. Big hugs to you and your family. Take care of yourself. All you need is one step at a time.


Me - BGF 30
Him - WBF 31
Together 7 years
Dday 7/21/13 ("Mostly" EA)
Getting TT, but both trying to R

Posts: 68 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: United States
WillThrive
♀ New Member
Member # 44408
Default  Posted: 6:39 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs and prayers. That is a lot to be facing all at once.


BW
DDay 3-17-2012 EA
DDay2 3-30-2012 PA for 10 months
Finally NC 8-2014
TT continues tentative R

Posts: 30 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: East Coast
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I lost my youngest brother to suicide when he was just 14. 20+ years later and his passing and the questions about it all are still with me. My heart beaks for your mother. My mom has never been the same and I don't expect her to be. Lots of prayers for you and your family. You are dealing with so much. Try and remember to nurture yourself through all this. Drink lots of water, eat and rest when you can.


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my gosh..you certainly did not need this added to your burdens. Please take extra good care of yourself right now & know we here are all sending our support & love to you right now.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 324 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Oakstreet)))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37591 | Registered: Sep 2007
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Posts: 3383 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
OakStreet
♀ Member
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you everyone!

Your support means so much.

Things are so complicated - we don't know yet when the service for my brother will be. And we have to get my fragile mother to Florida. She is a strong woman, but jeez, can she catch a break?

My brother was 55. My mother watched her oldest son suffer through pancreatic cancer in 2005 and her middle daughter suffer through vulvar cancer in 2010. Her two surviving daughters are both going through infidelity issues.

But we will get through this! The hugs, thoughts and prayers are appreciated. I also have my very dear friends (40+ years) supporting me.

My brother was a very good man. He raised two sons by himself and was active in volunteering for organizations that dealt with disabilities.
He will be greatly missed.

But he is no longer in pain.


Me: 58
Him: 65
Married: 21 years (well, we'll say 19 now!).
One son: 19, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
18 month EA/PA with COW
Dday #2: 4/16/14 - took it underground for 5 months.
Haven't decided on outcome.

Posts: 436 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 19

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