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User Topic: I can't do it anymore
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD22 is moving to NYC to go to school.

We went apartment hunting last weekend.

Never in my life have I ever sent more paperwork just to lease an apartment.

As she is a student, she has no income so WS and I will be guarantor's for the lease.

Everyday the realtor needs something, sometimes twice a day. I am expecting to have to give a DNA sample soon and maybe a kidney.

We still do not know if she has an apartment, we found one, it's cute, in budget, do-able.

Well today, I have just about had enough, it's time to shit or get of the pot so to speak, do we have an apartment or not? DD gave a deposit, filled out the applications, we sent bank statements, pictures of our drivers' licenses, pay stubs, letters from employers, tax returns, you would think we were buying the place!

So just for shits and giggles, I looked for apartments today.

I found a couple that will take students without guarantors, apartment is closer to school.

DD called me a little while ago, I asked her how firm her budget was as I found another apartment and was waiting to hear back from the realtor (different one) who listed it about whether utilities are included.

She just started pissing and moaning! "It's a fake listing" "That can't be real" blah, blah, blah. Just negative.

I said okay, I am sending you the link anyway, check it out.

For some reason that really, really got on my nerves.

I went for a walk around my building at work.

When I came back from my walk, DD called me and said "there is no counter space" "where is the tank for the toilet?" blah, blah, blah.

I lost it.

I told her, "I'm done, I am not going to let you talk to me like that anymore" "I'm trying to help considering the circumstances, if you don't want my help, fine" "I will see you when you come to get me at work".

And I hung up the phone.

That was the straw.

I am ready to say goodbye to everyone and move to Mexico with my Mom.

I have held it together being the only parent around for my kids for 7 fucking years now, I can't do it anymore.

[This message edited by imagoodwitch at 2:50 PM, August 7th (Thursday)]


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5384 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
kiki1
♀ Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Goodwitch)))

It'll be ok, your doing great!!

Kids, they do have the inordinate ability to push us to the edge at times. And how we love them!!

Hold on tight, it will pass.


Posts: 568 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now I feel guilty for yelling at her


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5384 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I imagine this whole thing has stressed you both to the max. DD 17 and I get that way.. when we should be supporting one another I get impatient and she gets surly. I bet you'll both feel worlds better when this is all said and done.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44692 | Registered: Sep 2006
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope so!

We've got 2 weeks before she has to move and no place to live.

I love her to pieces but she is driving me crazy!


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5384 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
miadianna
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) I remember this all too well with my kids in college. No help from their father, none. Apartment hunting with my daughter in downtown Chicago was something so foreign to me and totally overwhelming. I broke down more than a few times during those years. I had no idea how it worked, it was all new to me.

Between the two kids in college at the same time, I added it up and discovered alone I moved them in and out of dorms and apartments 18 times before they graduated. Up and down flights of stairs with their stuff in the heat, or in the freezing cold.

Hang in there, it is exhausting mentally and physically.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7476 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know it's funny, but dd 17 is a year away from college or University but she has to submit her grades from next semester for acceptance and it's creeping up on us. So we've started having more serious "what's the plan?" discussion. 50% of them end in tears. . The kid is scared, I am scared, and it's probably not going to get better. My mom said that this stuff happens so that you're ready to push them out of the car on the day they leave.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44692 | Registered: Sep 2006
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Ima)))

That IS stressful! I hope she gets settled into a manageable place soon so you can be done with all of this (although you're never really done ).


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37574 | Registered: Sep 2007
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I firmly believe that when teenagers get ready to leave the nest they become real pains in the ass. It is nature's way of making it possible to let them go.

This too shall pass. Hang in there!

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7690 | Registered: Aug 2005
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After a 40 minute silent commute home, she made me dinner and we are preparing to go to the grocery.

She didn't even grumble at her siblings like she usually does

We are all super stressed about this move/transition but she pushed that last button....... and well, you know

I'm going to miss her when she's gone but she has to go and do this not only for her future career but she's not a small town girl.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5384 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((Imagoodwitch))))))))

No words of advice.

Just more hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5070 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Imagoodwitch)))) I am not sure how anyone survives the teenage years.....


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15227 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread makes me hyperventilate...

The stress! ooooweeeee.... You know that saying "I don't pray for strength because I might hurt someone?" I have been there!

A few days ago I texted a long distance friend and said, "Let's run away to Scotland, raise sheep and hang out the corner pub." The immediate response back was "right after this god awful meeting."

It must be going around?

((hugs))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5816 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Let's run away to Scotland, raise sheep and hang out the corner pub."
Room for one more?

((((Ima))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25313 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 14

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