my husband's betrayal ran so deep. i am almost 2 years out...and this is what i think about as i make a meatloaf dinner, you know?
it hurts. how could he do that? i guess he never thought she would tell me everything.
cheating is so stupid and destructive. just destoys families.
Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.
OW1 he just showed her pictures, apparently she wanted to live vicariously as his family, I don't know. she's sick.
OW2, she came to a lunch where a bunch fo people from his work were - and he brought along me and the kids. So I met her.
Then, two days before I found out, OW2 and another coworker were getting gelato and invited my husband to come join them - they were excited to do an ice cream date with my girls. So yeah, he brought my girls, just him and my two daughters, to go meet his f*buddy for ice cream. Meanwhile, i was across town waiting for him and my kids to come meet me for lunch, which had been the plan.
When he got back from gelato, I asked him who on earth he was meeting that it was so important. He told me time just slipped away and he didn't mean to be 30 minutes late to lunch with me. I asked who was there, again, and he said it was two guys (who were not there), one female coworker... then he added on OW2's name after a hesitation. I caught the hesitation and thought it was weird, like why would he hesitate to tell me everyone who was there? He's a nurse, obviously he works with a lot of women. It caught my attention but I couldn't figure out why it bugged me. I also thought it really weird that I didn't recognize her name, he'd never talked about her ever before... and he always talked about his coworkers.
Two days later was dday.
I told him it was one thing the crap he did against me and our M - the screwing other women, the lying, the double life, the gaslighting. The causing M issues.
It's a whole nother ballgame that he brought our CHILDREN into his affair. It makes me sick.
If it were reversed, for that ALONE he would have left me.
It still makes my blood boil.
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
Then during the affair, he took my two eldest boys to another state to catch up with army friends for the day. Little did I know it was just to spend the day with her taking my kids to the war museum, playing happy fucking families. It makes me sick to the stomach that he involved our kids in his betrayal.
It was something he always hated his dad for doing to him and his brother, and then he went and did it too
BS (me) 40
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years
4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA
Us together 20 years, married 17 and 6 kids
I always thought I was enough but obviously not!
The final insult was that he was taking our kids on dinner dates with her and told them to keep it a secret from me. When I asked them, my 4 year old son told me that they kept it a secret cause "Daddy said you don't get along with her." I said "why would Daddy say that?" My son said "cause she is Daddy's girlfriend". It just tore a hole in my heart.
Me BS 40
3 Kids, 9, 4 and 1
My 9 year old daughter was staying 2 overnights with him a week while he was COHABITING WITH THE OTHER WOMAN immediately after he left me, when I was still 6 months pregnant with his baby! He asked my daughter to hide it from me! And this went out for 6 weeks before I found out that there was even another woman! He led me to believe that he left me just because "we're not compatible"
After it's out in the open, he told me that he's giving me a chance to be a part of their family!
Once he was visiting the children at my house since our 2 month old can't have overnight visits yet, and he MADE my DD get out of my property to greet the fugly cheap ho who was waiting in his car!
But you know sri, when our children are grown and can think for themselves, they will realize that what their fathers did is so morally wrong, and I believe eventually that will make our children resent the other parent. They see how their fathers greatly disrespected and mistreated their mothers. I mean, nobody wants to see anyone hurt their mommy!
I hope these cruel heartless people will suffer as much as we did. May it be so
[This message edited by betrayedpregnant at 1:00 AM, August 8th (Friday)]
Just destroys families
Yep..7 kids total affected by my wife's affair, and our family dog. Dog was the excuse to meet in the park. Yep. AP wrote and read poetry to my wife in the park and snuggled with our dog.
Pictures of kids shared, stories told about them, they met at school dropping kids off then meet up and have their fun. But as near as I can tell they never interacted with each other's kids other than to say hi. But lots of TT'ing so I am only partially confident they never interacted with each other's kids.
Wedding and family rings never sheltered from the A either. Friends and family lied to. My wife was "all in"......
In my sitch....had he not dumped her my wife was very willing to f everything else for her A. Her A was HER priority....period.
The betrayal IS deep. This is a trial of trials.
Keep posting....this pain is too much to process and handle on your own.
God is with us all.
Please do not namecall OW in the Reconciliation Forum. It's against the forum guidelines.
This has been a brutal betrayal by my husband and his AP. This was very very long term and has done a great deal of damage to our family.
OW#5 (my sister) was also around my kids extensively. This pains me to no end because I brought my kids around her just as much (if not more) than my WH did. For a couple of years of their A, WH and my sister were planning on leaving their respective spouses for each other and that all of the kids were going to go live with her to become one, big happy blended family. They openly shared this plan with both my kids and hers (who I raised because she was an unfit mother). It wasn't until she began insisting that my kids call her "Mom" when I wasn't around that my kids threw a fit about it.
Yes, this issue makes me feel deeply violated. It wasn't enough that the sanctity of my marriage and home and marital bed was violated. WH also involved our kids in his A's. I struggle with the rage I feel and wonder if I will be able reconcile with WH given the depth and extent of his betrayal.
D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.
She made a date to meet one setting partner at the pool. Her AND his kids in tow.
That pales in comparison to her LTA "boyfriend". He came to our house 1x, he cooked my daughter and wife dinner, played with her, and then after my daughter was in bed walked around the living room looking at pics of our family snd kissing/gtoping my wife - before my WW invited him into our bedroom to get fingered before blowing him (about 5-6 feet aey from my daughters bed in her room).
That pales in comparison (however) to my wife going "out" 3-5 + times a week to meet her boyfriend and get laid or blow him. My daughter, 3 years later, still asks if I remember when momma "worked" all the time at night.
My WW not only betrayed me she abandoned our daughter and exposed/inttoduced her to these losers without caring about the risks.
Yeah. I'm bitter. I'm even more bewildered. How can an otherwise smart person be so stupid. So heartless. So cruel. So selfish. So shortsighted. So uncaring. Not of just me - but also our daughter.
[This message edited by william at 8:03 AM, August 8th (Friday)]
from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA
??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys
my husband's ap took it a step further. when he dumped her, she told me that not only had she played with my son in the park...but that if i cussed her out anymore, she would tell child protective services that my husband has substance abuse issues, and would have our kids taken from us. who does that? i mean...her character is unbelievable...about as bad as his.
i am sure when he was having all the fun with her...they never thought it would get ugly.
i took him back. i did. but i still feel like i am eating that shit sandwich you know?
The mean side of me wants to turn them in soooo badly.
My WH was teaching my 19 month old to say OW name.