Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: PTSD (44945)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Anyone's WH bring kids around OW?
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

mind did. and i think that is just another thing that i struggle with. the ow made point to tell me how sweet my 20 month old was at the time. how they met up at parks and how cute my baby was. she also had a nickname for him.

my husband's betrayal ran so deep. i am almost 2 years out...and this is what i think about as i make a meatloaf dinner, you know?

it hurts. how could he do that? i guess he never thought she would tell me everything.

cheating is so stupid and destructive. just destoys families.


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 940 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
Questioningall
♀ Member
Member # 43959
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine did. The kids were teenagers and had no idea they were meeting his mistress. They now know they met her. DD was furious with her father and DS made a derogatory comment about his father's taste in APs. AP wanted to meet them, so WH obliged. Mind boggling. He's mortified now to think what a lousy father he was.


Me-BS 50
Him-WS 50 Sorrowfulmate
5 kids
Dday #1 12/12 He made up a ONS
Dday #2. 3/14 EAs, 2 ONS, 1 LTA
TT until 7/14 Timeline given

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.


Posts: 59 | Registered: Jul 2014
peaceBmine
♀ Member
Member # 44060
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine did as well...time playing at a park with one child and introduced me and other children at another event where she came to "support" him...DIDN'T know that at the time, but as soon as I discovered the A I knew exactly who it was.


Me (BS)- 42
Him (WS)- 44
Married 21 years
3 beautiful daughters (18,16,14)
DDay- 4/23/14- 6 month EA turned PA just before DDay

Posts: 159 | Registered: Jul 2014
Lark
♀ Member
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband did.

OW1 he just showed her pictures, apparently she wanted to live vicariously as his family, I don't know. she's sick.

OW2, she came to a lunch where a bunch fo people from his work were - and he brought along me and the kids. So I met her.

Then, two days before I found out, OW2 and another coworker were getting gelato and invited my husband to come join them - they were excited to do an ice cream date with my girls. So yeah, he brought my girls, just him and my two daughters, to go meet his f*buddy for ice cream. Meanwhile, i was across town waiting for him and my kids to come meet me for lunch, which had been the plan.

When he got back from gelato, I asked him who on earth he was meeting that it was so important. He told me time just slipped away and he didn't mean to be 30 minutes late to lunch with me. I asked who was there, again, and he said it was two guys (who were not there), one female coworker... then he added on OW2's name after a hesitation. I caught the hesitation and thought it was weird, like why would he hesitate to tell me everyone who was there? He's a nurse, obviously he works with a lot of women. It caught my attention but I couldn't figure out why it bugged me. I also thought it really weird that I didn't recognize her name, he'd never talked about her ever before... and he always talked about his coworkers.

Two days later was dday.

I told him it was one thing the crap he did against me and our M - the screwing other women, the lying, the double life, the gaslighting. The causing M issues.

It's a whole nother ballgame that he brought our CHILDREN into his affair. It makes me sick.

If it were reversed, for that ALONE he would have left me.

It still makes my blood boil.


"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul." - William Ernest Henley

Posts: 525 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. He arranged a project for my college age son and the OW to work on together that took a couple of days to complete. It makes my stomach churn. My son had absolutely nothing good to say about her and used some very strong language to describe her superior, condescending attitude towards him. He thought she was using her relationship to my H as a power trip. If he had only known. :( My son made it clear that he never wanted to work with her again. It happened just as the A was transitioning from an EA to a PA.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1473 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He didn't. I did. She was my friend. We had lunch dates and took our kids to the movies together. She even babysat while my H and I went on a date. It makes my stomach turn knowing she held my baby with a bottle of my breastmilk and fed him while she lied to me and screwed my H. I'm blocked from her fb now, but somewhere on her page is a picture of her holding my child. Makes me rage every time I think about it.

Posts: 1076 | Registered: Jan 2013
growing
♂ New Member
Member # 43298
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That really sucks sri624. Kids and APs should not mix. Sadly, my fWW's AP was our long-time in-house nanny. He had a key to our house for years, took the kids away on vacations alone, went on vacation with fWW and the kids while I worked "so he could help out"...
And I thought he was my friend too.
Now we're working with a therapist for DS7, who misses his "buddy" and is confused about why he abruptly stopped babysitting.


Me: BH 40ish
Her: WW 35ish
Married 13 years
DD 3, DS 7
EA/PA: 1yr/6mo
DDay: 11/1/2013
TT: 8/12/14, more on the way?
FB NC breach: 8/15/14
2xIC
MC on hold because he was worse than nothing. Maybe we'll find an infidelity specialist.

Posts: 21 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Northeast USA
stunnedmullet
♀ Member
Member # 42975
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We knew the OW for years before they had an affair. We had seen her at social gatherings, she came to our house a couple of times, he took the kids to her gym to do some kids boxing training.

Then during the affair, he took my two eldest boys to another state to catch up with army friends for the day. Little did I know it was just to spend the day with her taking my kids to the war museum, playing happy fucking families. It makes me sick to the stomach that he involved our kids in his betrayal.

It was something he always hated his dad for doing to him and his brother, and then he went and did it too


DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)

BS (me) 40
WH 38
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years

4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA

Us together 20 years, married 17 and 6 kids

I always thought I was enough but obviously not!


Posts: 186 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
SoAngryAndHurt
♀ Member
Member # 40150
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. The OW was the mom of our preschoolers friend. My H and her met because they would drop off the kids at the same time in the mornings. That lead to play dates at the park and play dates at OWs house. Which lead to them being "friends" and sharing hobbies. Lovely isn't it? To use your own children like that? Like the heartbreak of cheating wasnt enough? Let's use the children as an excuse to go out on dates! The fact that she complimented him on what a great dad he was.


Me BW 41
Him WH 35
2 kiddos elementary school age
Married 11 years
05/20/13 let the rugsweeping & TT begin
07/01/13 finally!! The whole truth. Admits to EA/PA

Posts: 79 | Registered: Aug 2013
BlueinStLou
♀ Member
Member # 44416
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine did. He even introduced me to her one night at a local restaurant kids night. Told me she was a previous co-worker. Turns out she wanted to meet me. Then he took our kids to her house, to numerous dates at the park.

The final insult was that he was taking our kids on dinner dates with her and told them to keep it a secret from me. When I asked them, my 4 year old son told me that they kept it a secret cause "Daddy said you don't get along with her." I said "why would Daddy say that?" My son said "cause she is Daddy's girlfriend". It just tore a hole in my heart.


DDay1 3/26/2014
DDay2 4/15/2014
DDay 3 7/15/2014

Me BS 40
WH 39

3 Kids, 9, 4 and 1


Posts: 145 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: St Louis MO
betrayedpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 43304
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Sri,

My 9 year old daughter was staying 2 overnights with him a week while he was COHABITING WITH THE OTHER WOMAN immediately after he left me, when I was still 6 months pregnant with his baby! He asked my daughter to hide it from me! And this went out for 6 weeks before I found out that there was even another woman! He led me to believe that he left me just because "we're not compatible"

After it's out in the open, he told me that he's giving me a chance to be a part of their family!

Once he was visiting the children at my house since our 2 month old can't have overnight visits yet, and he MADE my DD get out of my property to greet the fugly cheap ho who was waiting in his car!

But you know sri, when our children are grown and can think for themselves, they will realize that what their fathers did is so morally wrong, and I believe eventually that will make our children resent the other parent. They see how their fathers greatly disrespected and mistreated their mothers. I mean, nobody wants to see anyone hurt their mommy!

I hope these cruel heartless people will suffer as much as we did. May it be so

[This message edited by betrayedpregnant at 1:00 AM, August 8th (Friday)]


Posts: 236 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Hawaii
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 3:16 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just destroys families

Yep..7 kids total affected by my wife's affair, and our family dog. Dog was the excuse to meet in the park. Yep. AP wrote and read poetry to my wife in the park and snuggled with our dog.

Pictures of kids shared, stories told about them, they met at school dropping kids off then meet up and have their fun. But as near as I can tell they never interacted with each other's kids other than to say hi. But lots of TT'ing so I am only partially confident they never interacted with each other's kids.

Wedding and family rings never sheltered from the A either. Friends and family lied to. My wife was "all in"......

In my sitch....had he not dumped her my wife was very willing to f everything else for her A. Her A was HER priority....period.

The betrayal IS deep. This is a trial of trials.

Keep posting....this pain is too much to process and handle on your own.

God is with us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3669 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Zayda1
♀ Member
Member # 35387
Default  Posted: 5:27 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Playdates at the park, movies etc. Heck,she even brought her 6 month old daughter to our house when they met up to have sex. Her BS called Children's Aid when he heard they left a baby sleeping alone in a car seat while they had sex in our basement. So many levels of bad choices. I will never understand what he was thinking.


Married 9 years, together for 11 years
2 children (7 years & 4 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12 (It only lasted a "couple of weeks" but it still shattered my world.)

Posts: 465 | Registered: Apr 2012
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 5:29 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

betrayedpregnant,

Please do not namecall OW in the Reconciliation Forum. It's against the forum guidelines.

Thank you.


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
BrokenheartedWif
♀ Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. She and her husband had been long time friends. She babysat my children called herself there aunt (while she was sleeping with their father in their mothers bed) Some Aunt and friend she was. The AP is still in contact with my 22 oldest child and doesn't have the decency and maturity to not stay in contact with my daughter. Wonder how much crap and twisted shellfish things she filled and is filling my oldest head wit. FYI, we trusted them so much, his AP and her husband were to have physical custody of our children if something happened to the both of us, since our children trusted them and felt comfortable with the AP and her husband and their kids.

This has been a brutal betrayal by my husband and his AP. This was very very long term and has done a great deal of damage to our family.


He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 66 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine did. WH had OW#1 over at our house the two nights a week that I had to work late while he was watching the kids. He also brought the kids with him while he played softball with her. After OC was born, OW would bring her over to "play" with our daughter while I was at work. OC and our daughter are only three months apart in age and they were both only babies at the time, but WH and OW pretended to be one big happy family while I worked to pay all of the bills. They would go out to eat, bring the kids to the park, visit OW's friends and family, and go shopping together. WH and OW were openly affectionate with each other and made no effort to hide that they were a "couple" except to hide it from me. WH relied on the kids being so young that I would not find out. He also taught them from the beginning to keep his openly affectionate relationship with OW#1 a secret from me so that they believed from a very young age that what he was doing was normal.

OW#5 (my sister) was also around my kids extensively. This pains me to no end because I brought my kids around her just as much (if not more) than my WH did. For a couple of years of their A, WH and my sister were planning on leaving their respective spouses for each other and that all of the kids were going to go live with her to become one, big happy blended family. They openly shared this plan with both my kids and hers (who I raised because she was an unfit mother). It wasn't until she began insisting that my kids call her "Mom" when I wasn't around that my kids threw a fit about it.

Yes, this issue makes me feel deeply violated. It wasn't enough that the sanctity of my marriage and home and marital bed was violated. WH also involved our kids in his A's. I struggle with the rage I feel and wonder if I will be able reconcile with WH given the depth and extent of his betrayal.


BW: 41
WH: 48
Married 18 years. SD: 25 from his 1st. M. DS: 20 from 1st M. DD: 16 (autistic)

D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.


Posts: 294 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

M WW introduced a handful of "guys" to my then 5 yr old daughter. She was sexting/flirting with them. Stopping by their houses/work to "say hi" ... With daughter beside her. After sending them nude pics and exchanging graphic texts.

She made a date to meet one setting partner at the pool. Her AND his kids in tow.

That pales in comparison to her LTA "boyfriend". He came to our house 1x, he cooked my daughter and wife dinner, played with her, and then after my daughter was in bed walked around the living room looking at pics of our family snd kissing/gtoping my wife - before my WW invited him into our bedroom to get fingered before blowing him (about 5-6 feet aey from my daughters bed in her room).

That pales in comparison (however) to my wife going "out" 3-5 + times a week to meet her boyfriend and get laid or blow him. My daughter, 3 years later, still asks if I remember when momma "worked" all the time at night.

My WW not only betrayed me she abandoned our daughter and exposed/inttoduced her to these losers without caring about the risks.

Yeah. I'm bitter. I'm even more bewildered. How can an otherwise smart person be so stupid. So heartless. So cruel. So selfish. So shortsighted. So uncaring. Not of just me - but also our daughter.

[This message edited by william at 8:03 AM, August 8th (Friday)]


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 543 | Registered: Jan 2014
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thank you for the replies....at times it is very difficult for me to process this. i mean, what was he thinking? how selfish can you be?

my husband's ap took it a step further. when he dumped her, she told me that not only had she played with my son in the park...but that if i cussed her out anymore, she would tell child protective services that my husband has substance abuse issues, and would have our kids taken from us. who does that? i mean...her character is unbelievable...about as bad as his.

i am sure when he was having all the fun with her...they never thought it would get ugly.

i took him back. i did. but i still feel like i am eating that shit sandwich you know?


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 940 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
BlueinStLou
♀ Member
Member # 44416
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know that the OW in our case has a husband with substance abuse problems. There is a large stash of MJ at their house and she is a licensed day care provider.

The mean side of me wants to turn them in soooo badly.

My WH was teaching my 19 month old to say OW name.


DDay1 3/26/2014
DDay2 4/15/2014
DDay 3 7/15/2014

Me BS 40
WH 39

3 Kids, 9, 4 and 1


Posts: 145 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: St Louis MO
betrayedpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 43304
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sorry about that. i didnt realize i was in reconciliation forum. i apologize

Posts: 236 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Hawaii
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.