And until then, maybe something that has been helpful to me might work with you. When I go in, I try to have something specific, one idea or topic that I would like to expand on with her help. Something concrete that has come to mind a few times as a result of previous work or what's happening in the relationship. Often it is primarily me talking, but sometimes she'll have an observation that is comforting or leads me to think of things in a different way.
And supporting Gimme again - have patience. Be gentle with yourself and the process. It's hard to wait for therapeutic "magic" to work, particularly on yourself, but you'll know with time whether you're experiencing the changes you want to see or if you need to think about a different therapist.
Take good care.
I like the counselor we have now, but sometimes it seems like I have to tell him things. Such as:
My WH's IC is supposed to be about HIM, not US.
How "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair" was a good resource for the WS.
We are in our "second round" with this counselor. I quit going when I discovered WH was in false R - he fooled the counselor too.
Waiting to see what develops.
In my own IC, I knew my issues were FOO so I knew right where to start and she is has been great. She does give me homework, mainly things to boost my self esteem and even that of my WH. Just being able to say things out loud to someone that will not judge me or have a relationship with me outside of that office is a great help. I think I am letting go of lots of my FOO issues by saying them out loud. Its like a release.
I would say if you do not feel your IC is beneficial look for another one. WH had to and now that he has found his main issues his IC has been a great help.