OMG....how true. There are so many little things that my H does that make me suspect of him. We were in the car and his blue tooth was blinking. I asked him why he was not answering it and he said that it was blinking because it needed to be charged. During the LTA he told me things like that when he did not answer his phone.
WH asked me to just try to not say anything negative for a week. Negative is anything about his affair, what he's done or how I've been hurt.
My H says this too. I guess no one wants to be reminded that they dropped an H bomb on innocent civilians. At this stage in our process, I have been counseled to not discuss the LTA and the consequences each time I feel like it. The purpose for me is to create an environment where my H does not feel attacked. Because we all know that I can lose it!!
Saw the lawyer today. She was great. I told her I would do anything I could to keep my marriage if I knew my husband really loved me. She said she understood because she's been in my shoes before. Then she told me I had so much to offer and I could have a great life without 'him' and he needed to be responsible for himself. She suggested finalizing the divorce and if he loved me he would fight to keep me and I would have my answer.
Woman to woman, I do not agree with the lawyer. IMO, you work on yourself and the marriage BEFORE you divorce. Playing that "if he loves me he will fight to keep me" could bite you in the butt
ME Doing Better
...Just a suggestion; please speak with a trained professional(s) about your marital issues. A divorce attorney for the legal stuff, but not for M advice.
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years
Both feet pointed forward; positive