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Newest Member: Cje33 (45758)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Who have you told? Did you expose to everyone?
♀ Member
Member # 33802
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The night I found out, I called his mother first. I was sobbing into the phone, and hiding in our garage. The reason I chose to call her, was that years ago her husband, FWH dad, cheated on her for years. They eventually divorced, but I knew I couldn't call my own mother as she had been a WW to my own father, which led to their divorce when I was young. My MIL booked the first flight down, and was at our house within days. She knew what I was going thru, and that the kids would need to be looked after. Within days, my whole family knew due to my complete mental breakdown. When my MIL had to go home due to work, my mother came down to care for our household. My sister called me multiple times a day, just to let me know I was loved. I told our closest friends, and they were all supportive of our marriage. They held FWH and I close, talked to my husband when he needed help. They listened to me cry. They prayed for us, and never once judged either of us. When we saw each of them face to face, FWH apologized to them for betraying the trust they had in him, as well as for betraying me. Our friends and family talked honestly with him, told him that they loved us both, gave us both 2x4s when we needed them. I wouldn't have made it without any of them. We are an incredibly close circle of old friends, and our situation made them examine their own relationships in depth.

I also told my OB, as I became pregnant a few months after DDay. He, and his whole staff, were so understanding. He made sure FWH was doing everything right, but also didn't judge, as FWH was doing everything in his power to be a better man.

Out of everyone who knew, only one person reacted poorly. FWH best friend told him he should divorce me if he wasn't happy. In the end, he proved to not be a friend to our marriage. I'm still here, and he isn't. As FWH became a better man, his friend lagged further and further behind. He wanted my husband to remain childish, to match him, just as they had been since grade school. FWH finally saw his friend for how he was, and wanted no part of it. He wanted his family.

In the end, I'm glad I told the people I did. A year later I was able to help another friend who had just found out about her WH. More people were told as the years have gone by, but they are all good friends who support us both.

Together 16 years, married 10.
DDay 07/26/2011, 8 month EA/PA with friend of our family. Months of TT.
DDay#2 Early spring 2012, confirmed EA with another woman.

Posts: 144 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Sunny South
Topic Posts: 41
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