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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Becoming a hermit
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I look forward to the time coming nearer and nearer with each passing day when I no longer have to look at the face of the betrayal and feel that knife in my back, that swirling pit in my stomach, that tightness in my chest. I welcome the coming solitude and freedom from her drama and selfish bullshit.

I look forward to the days spent with my kids not spent walking on eggshells, waiting for the drama hammer to drop on our heads. The anxiety felt by all in her presence. I look forward to the freedom to breathe again and relax in my home, free from her nastiness, clutter, and hoarding.

I look forward to spending time with ME. I have not had any me time in 9 years, as it always comes down to her selfish needs and desires. SHE has always felt smothered by our marriage and our children and raising a family, and has sought escape after escape after escape, while I was left holding the bag and sweeping up the shit and destruction left in her wake.

I look forward to peace, and being afforded the opportunity for the first time in 9 years to place my needs on my list of things to take care of. My kids will always be number one, but I can finally place myself up there with them.

I look forward to the solitude in between weeks with the kids, as an opportunity to relax and de-stress. I have zero plans on becoming involved ever again, as I do not feel the capacity to trust any longer nor have the tolerance for anymore bullshit.

Her bullshit and dysfunction will be gone from my life and poisoning another mans existence. May God have mercy on his soul...on second thought, he knew the score when they met and saw the ring. Fuck'em both.

[This message edited by HurtingandLost at 7:35 PM, August 8th (Friday)]


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's hoping your freedom comes soon. The solitude is wonderful, as is the freedom to choose... everything from what to watch on TV to what to eat for dinner. It can sometimes be lonely, but you can always get out of the house and do something with friends and family.

I can relate to the hermit thing - I feel like I've been a hermit for the past couple of years and this year I've been a lot more social. I still find that I need time on my own though.

((Hurting))


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
hopefulmom44
♀ Member
Member # 44136
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hunting-

It's amazing! You are describing my STBXWH in you post and how our situation was at home.

I also look forward to finally place myself up there with the kids as priority #1. I still feel the overwhelming sadness, but I do look forward to moving on. Mediation is set for next week.


Posts: 102 | Registered: Jul 2014
GingerAle
♀ Member
Member # 33822
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can relate to so much of your post, but especially this:

I look forward to the days spent with my kids not spent walking on eggshells, waiting for the drama hammer to drop on our heads. The anxiety felt by all in her presence. I look forward to the freedom to breathe again and relax in my home, free from her nastiness, clutter, and hoarding.


My STBXH has been out of the house for 3 months now, and it is fabulous! The entire atmosphere of our home has changed for my kids and myself. You will love your new freedom and I hope it is very soon!!


My WH (The KISA, NPD) 6 month EA in 2010
2 other EAs in 2012 & 2013
Filed for D 7/2014


Posts: 425 | Registered: Nov 2011
LoveIsDead
♂ New Member
Member # 44424
Default  Posted: 3:54 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hermit life FTW!!

I'm 33, and have been involved with my WW for 11 years. The very first day I discovered the truth, I made the decision that D was the only way to fix this. I love my family, but I'll be damned if I gave that bitch another chance to destroy me.

I'm still a young man, and certain needs do come over me, but it's not worth it. Besides, I should be thanking WW, cause afterall, she has already taught me what living like a sexless monk would be like, and I'm ready for the challenge!

For as long as you can endure it, enjoy the stress free life. Like they say, take care of you. Make you happy. All of us have worried about the greater good, and look what happened.

Good for you. Look at it positively, the cancer is gone from your life, now you can begin to heal.


"Evil can only win when good men do nothing"

Posts: 36 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: NM
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

she has already taught me what living like a sexless monk would be like, and I'm ready for the challenge!

No kidding, I've gone as long as 8 months without. Average has been nothing for two and three weeks, then two or three nights in a row, then back to another two or three weeks without.


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
Topic Posts: 6

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