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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: finally he admitted it
Rubix
♀ Member
Member # 44099
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to try to see some friends this week and have a catch up :). Keep my mind off things as much as possible


BW: me (25)WH: him (28-RemorsefulHubby)
kids: mine:DD 5 ours:DS new born. Days old.
Married: 5 months
D-Day: 13/06/2014 - craigslist account. Secret hotmail account.
D-Day 2: 9/8/2014 find out he cheated a week before our wedding

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Northamptonshire
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad to hear that.

Enjoy your time with your friends!

When is your little man due? My DD is having her baby this Friday - a little girl.


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
toogoodhearted
♀ New Member
Member # 44472
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My heart goes out to you. I literally just found out yesterday my husband cheated on me the week of our wedding and right after and has continued since our wedding less than a month and a half ago all with MEN! He has an appointment on Thurs for STD panel already. He admitted to all and wants to go to ccounselling with me about it. I am just numb. Barely cried as it feels so surreal. Hugs to you. The lucky part of my situation is that no kids are involved. :(/still hurts like hell

Posts: 3 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: canada
Rubix
♀ Member
Member # 44099
Default  Posted: 12:28 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lalagirl he is due on the 28th :).
2 weeks to go. Getting so excited.

((toogoodhearted)) I have felt numb too. I think I laughed and cried at one stage because it was so hard to believe. Now I'm just numb and waiting for all TTs to come out.

How are you doing? Taking care of yourself? You must have all the nasty questions I had on D-Day running through your head. I'm here if you ever wana chat honey.


BW: me (25)WH: him (28-RemorsefulHubby)
kids: mine:DD 5 ours:DS new born. Days old.
Married: 5 months
D-Day: 13/06/2014 - craigslist account. Secret hotmail account.
D-Day 2: 9/8/2014 find out he cheated a week before our wedding

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Northamptonshire
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lalagirl he is due on the 28th :).
2 weeks to go. Getting so excited.

Home stretch, mamma!

Do you have help for after he's born?


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
Rubix
♀ Member
Member # 44099
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H has 3 weeks off at that time. Thank goodness. Homing for a home birth. I find put after the 14th if I can have one. :)

when is you DDs baby due?


BW: me (25)WH: him (28-RemorsefulHubby)
kids: mine:DD 5 ours:DS new born. Days old.
Married: 5 months
D-Day: 13/06/2014 - craigslist account. Secret hotmail account.
D-Day 2: 9/8/2014 find out he cheated a week before our wedding

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Northamptonshire
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD is having her little girl this Friday - scheduled c-section. This is her third. GS is 5, GD is 20 months.

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 9:53 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad your H is taking a long leave!


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
Rubix
♀ Member
Member # 44099
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aww. Nice ages between them :)


BW: me (25)WH: him (28-RemorsefulHubby)
kids: mine:DD 5 ours:DS new born. Days old.
Married: 5 months
D-Day: 13/06/2014 - craigslist account. Secret hotmail account.
D-Day 2: 9/8/2014 find out he cheated a week before our wedding

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Northamptonshire
toogoodhearted
♀ New Member
Member # 44472
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rubix - thank you so much. I do need someone to talk to as i am just feeling so ashamed and embarrassed that I didn't see this all coming from what's happened in the past :( and there is no one I can talk to as I don't want to make him look bad in front of our loved ones. Man am I ever a wuss :(

Posts: 3 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: canada
Rubix
♀ Member
Member # 44099
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. I understand. I have barely told anyone as I'm so embarrassed as well. Also, not to "bring him out" as no one knows he is bisexual. It's all a complete headfuck. I think there's probably more stuff to come out of the woodwork though. He seems to be showing remorse and agreeing with what I ask him to do. Admits to his selfish behaviour and accepts responsibility for his actions and realised he may lose the family he always wanted due to his greed.


BW: me (25)WH: him (28-RemorsefulHubby)
kids: mine:DD 5 ours:DS new born. Days old.
Married: 5 months
D-Day: 13/06/2014 - craigslist account. Secret hotmail account.
D-Day 2: 9/8/2014 find out he cheated a week before our wedding

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Northamptonshire
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK...you really need to concentrate solely on you and your babies right now. No decisions need to be made. He needs to do the medical stuff, make arrangements for counseling, etc. and do it all on is own so that you are left alone to do what is important for your health.
It's likely that he'll hope you will rugsweep this in the aftermath of the birth. Of course you won't. You threw out the SA possibility. Maybe. When the time comes, INSIST he be evaluated by a CSAT, certified sex addiction specialist. Then you will know how to proceed.
It's true that some hetero SAs act out with same sex partners. And my opinion is that sexuality isn't always as well defined as we think it is. Don't jump the gun on that. But shame plays a huge part in the care and feeding of SAs and can interfere greatly in their recovery.
But for now, YOU are the focus. Leave him to figure it out.


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3538 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
angerisme
♀ Member
Member # 37672
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im saying special prayers for you and your sweet little girl. What you are going through is a VERY complicated situation. You will be overcome with all implications of betrayal with the additional factor of homosexuality.

Please do not waste even one moment getting tested for HIV. You should also find someone to talk to about this particular subject. There has been research that clearly stated male homosexuals are highly promiscuous. Indeed you would hear many men making fun of each other and their promiscuity in this population of people. I know you are a strong woman, and your little girl will give you more comfort than you can imagine. You will get through this and you will be stronger and so much happier when it is behind you.

If I were you...at your young age and the research on the promiscuity and lies of men who marry in spite of homosexual urges...I would gently tell hubby you want out of the marriage. You are a young woman and you deserve a real marriage with someone who is 100% there for you.


Posts: 174 | Registered: Dec 2012
Rubix
♀ Member
Member # 44099
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your kind words.
I have talked over and over about the gay thing with him. The truth is I don't think he is completely gay. He is constantly after sex though (I'm not touching him. At least till the STD tests are clear). So I am sticking to the SA idea. Angerisme, tbh, i think that because the trust has gone now, I definitely won't be able to move past this. I'm trying. Everyday is different. Right now I am just concentrating on my babies. We are still communicating. He has a therapy assessment appointment on the 20th. He has had STD tests today. I said I want proof when he gets the all clear.


BW: me (25)WH: him (28-RemorsefulHubby)
kids: mine:DD 5 ours:DS new born. Days old.
Married: 5 months
D-Day: 13/06/2014 - craigslist account. Secret hotmail account.
D-Day 2: 9/8/2014 find out he cheated a week before our wedding

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Northamptonshire
Topic Posts: 34
Pages: 1 · 2

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