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User Topic: OW going to be on doorstep tomorrow
Betrayeduk
♀ Member
Member # 43630
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, SS comes back from a week with her tomorrow. WH is doing some training for a new venture. I will be at home when she drops my boy off.

Do I:

1) just let my boy come in on his own. And stay well away from her.

2) answer the door and see her. She doesn't acknowledge my existence even when I'm in front of her. It's like I've done something wrong banning it from entering my house.


Posts: 60 | Registered: Jun 2014
Schadenfreude
♂ Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ever see the scene in The Godfather where Michael,simply has a stone cold look on his face and shuts the door on Kaye,,his ex wife who doesn't have child custody? As was said in Sleepless in Seattle or You've got Mail ( I can't tell those two,apart) you can learn a lot from The Goodfather.

Say thank you and close the door in her face. No law says you have to admit her into the house.


Remember,,she will always be the mother of SS so don't be overtly hostile. Just totally indifferent, as though Fed Ex guy just dropped off a package. You're happy to see the package, but indifferent to which Fed Ex guy delivered it. Unless it's Tom Hanks after three years on a deserted island. ( I guess I'm into tom hanks movies tonight).


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The child is 15, correct?

He is certainly old enough to get out of the car by himself and walk to the door alone.

I would tell my husband to make it crystal clear she isn't welcome...but I know your husband won't do that. So I would send the boy inside and ask him to wait in his room. Then I would quietly, and calmly, remind that whore that I'm a licensed gun owner and as of two seconds ago she was trespassing on my property, and she better get the fuck gone.

No?

Then quietly and calmly tell her she is never again to set foot on your property, or all of those pics and emails she sent my husband would become public knowledge.

No?

Then quietly and calmly tell her to fuck off and an is never welcome on your property again.

I'm sorry you don't have the support of your husband. Until he pulls his head out of his ads..until he experiences real consequences, this bitch will always be a problem.

But at his age, she doesn't have to get out of the car. If she does, it's because she knows it pisses you off.

[This message edited by confused615 at 3:37 PM, August 9th (Saturday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7915 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, I would focus on getting your SS into the house as quickly as possible and ignore OW. I think that it's gracious of you to allow her to put foot on your property. My inclination would be to tell her to park in the driveway, unload the car, see your SS get into the house, and leave. No need for her to darken your doorway.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5097 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The boy is old enough to get his own stuff out of the car & walk to the door/come inside on his own. He doesn't need an adult to walk with him. It isn't necessary. My ex has never ever come to the door to get my kids, nor has he ever walked them back to the door. They are old enough to go back & forth on their own. So is your SS.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10026 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Betrayeduk
♀ Member
Member # 43630
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Confused 615 i wish I lived in America!!!! My career involves caring for people but I worry if I was ever called to her.

I have dreams of telling her to fuck off and never appear on my property again.

Schadenfreude I will try the closing door i her face 😀


Posts: 60 | Registered: Jun 2014
Melian40
♀ Member
Member # 41205
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wear a T shirt saying something about Karma bus, put your best wide smile and welcome her.


BW-me:40
BH-him:41
DD-age 9
Together 7 years, married 17 years
DD1:8/12/2013 -OW1-PA 1.5 months in 2009
DD2:8/17/2013 - OW2-EA Spring 2013- He tried to hit on her but she denied.

"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"


Posts: 216 | Registered: Nov 2013
Betrayeduk
♀ Member
Member # 43630
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nature_Girl - I totally agree. Wish I had the strength to make WH. It is one screwed up relationship. Sexting and whatever and un necessary contact. It's fab.

Posts: 60 | Registered: Jun 2014
Betrayeduk
♀ Member
Member # 43630
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Melian40 - I am soooooooo doing that at some point!!!!! I totally lack imagination lolololol 😀

Posts: 60 | Registered: Jun 2014
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She doesn't even need to get out of the car.
She pulls up, stops. SS grabs his stuff, says "thanks, love you mom, see ya later" and then he comes inside and life continues.

So I guess my vote is for #1.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8185 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:38 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think she will have the balls to get out of the car? If so, then ya, pat Jr on the head and direct him to the door and say buh-bye to slutface, turn on your heel and leave her looking like a dumb ass.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 1:39 AM, August 10th (Sunday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5238 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Say thank you and close the door in her face. No law says you have to admit her into the house.

I just read your profile, I'm sorry you are dealing with all this... Can your SS drive yet? I was just wondering. That will stop his mom from coming over--
BTW,,once he can drive, you can move out and he can see you whenever he likes. He'll probably like having a safe place to visit to get out of the drama..


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2325 | Registered: Jan 2012
Betrayeduk
♀ Member
Member # 43630
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, it's done. I've got my boy back 😀

It did come to the door with him. I greeted my boy with a big cheery hello and glad you're back. It handed me a bag of sopping wet clothes and said she's washed his clothes but her washing line is broken and she's not lucky enough to have a tumble dryer. (Little dig at us). I took bag without looking at her and left it at that.

I always feel so wound up when I know she's going to be here. But for some reason I always feel let down and deflated. Maybe because I have these conversations in my head where I get all my frustrations out and it never happens?


Posts: 60 | Registered: Jun 2014
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did good Exactly how I deal with the sad clown.

I treat it as I would a visit to a public toilet - as quick as possible and with as little contact with the festy surrounds as is possible.

Maybe try imaging yourself trying to wee on her whilst balancing yourself so you don't actually touch her?

I can't imagine having to interact with the whore. Yuck.

[This message edited by SBB at 6:53 PM, August 10th (Sunday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5658 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@ SBB
I'm gonna have "festy surrounds" runnin around in my head for awhile!

Posts: 6765 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To the quote thread you go!

Posts: 6765 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Betrayeduk
♀ Member
Member # 43630
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SBB thank you. That made me smile 😊 I've been struggling with myself this week. I think that image will sustain me for a good few meet ups 😀

Posts: 60 | Registered: Jun 2014
Betrayeduk
♀ Member
Member # 43630
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 60 | Registered: Jun 2014
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SBB thank you. That made me smile 😊 I've been struggling with myself this week. I think that image will sustain me for a good few meet ups 😀

I've been right where you are, friend. I know what it is like. Humour has helped me through many a rough patch. Little weird stuff like this especially. If I can giggle between the bouts of howling in the foetus position on the floor then I know I'm going to be OK.

You're going to be OK.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5658 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
kansas1968
♀ Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just imagine how it would make you feel if someone completely ignored you. Didn't look at you and acted like you didn't even exist. Just a dead coldness coming in your direction. That is how she will feel if you just act like she is not worthy of even the smallest human interaction. She is no more noticeable to you than a bit of lint. Cold is best. Very cold.


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1320 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Topic Posts: 20

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