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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He's ramping up -- must have a court date soon
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew it couldn't last. Since the 4-way last June, he's been very polite in texts, very nearly amicable.

Teslet goes to a parochial school...been going there for 3 and 4 year old preschool. Last October, ex-shat threw a fit with the school because he wanted to exercise first right of refusal while Teslet was in daycare...BUT he wanted to send stripper whore to pick Teslet up (at the time they were not married) so that ex-shat could sleep (he sent this in an email to the school). I told the school that ex-shat could pick Teslet up but no one else. Anyway, big mantrum and ex-shat says that "I'm afraid you're gonna have to find another school for Teslet next year."
Whatever.
I send him a text at spring saying that I was registering Teslet for kindergarten at the parochial school. Never hear anything back. I send the registration packet, complete with school calendar to ex-shat return-receipt, certified mail. He never signed for it or picked it up from the post office.
I text a couple weeks ago, letting him know that tuition was due soon. Text a reminder again this week.

Get an email last night and ex-shat is off the rails again. Says he told me several times that he wasn't contributing tuition if I sent Teslet to 'that school.' His reasons: The school is teaching Teslet that my last name is his last name. They are a religious school and filling his head with nonsense, he wants his son to go to a school where he will learn some academic and usable skills. And he was given the run around about the 'ridiculous' amounts of time that Teslet was in daycare. He should have been spending that time with his father.

**Yawn**
Translation: I'm broke and I can't pay tuition. I have to pick a fight with you about something silly because you are about to hand me my ass in court because I still haven't stepped up to the plate and done the right thing. (I should say, he is at least paying a portion of CS weekly, which will keep him out of jail.)

Court is scheduled for the end of this month...but still waiting on the info from his employer...so the date may get delayed again.

His email is getting crickets since there is no question or attempt at a real discussion about Teslet's schooling. Just a litany of stupidity.

I'm not even mad about it...just bored that he's so unoriginal. I have the entire amount of tuition set aside because I figured that he would do this. The crappy thing is that he'll start talking shit about the school to Teslet and Teslet LOVES his school.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4734 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not even mad about it...just bored that he's so unoriginal.

And so transparent.

What a piece is shit. Your translation was spot on.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5652 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure Ex-Shat would be more accommodating if Teslet attended 'Our Lady of the Stripper-Pole.' What an idiot. Crickets all the way.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1950 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Question  Posted: 11:21 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fucking tool. Seriously. He's such an immature brat - throwing a tantrum because he can't get his way.

I love that now, all of a sudden, the school isn't good for Teslet. XH pulls the same shit with me. After a bajillion years of doing something related to DD, he will get a bug up his butt and for some assanine reason want it changed. I respond with, "DD has been doing this for the past several years. If you have a problem with it have your lawyer contact mine." That tends to stop him in his tracks.

They have none of our parenting responsibilities, yet seem to think they can dictate orders to us. I so wish we could respond with a big "Shove it up your ass."


Posts: 1278 | Registered: Oct 2009
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's so predictable!!!

I am so glad you are there for Teslet!!!

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5528 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure I've asked you this a thousand times, but I'm old and can't remember the answer - what does your decree say about who gets final say on decisions regarding school, etc. for teslet? Do you have to mediate any differences of opinion, or do you get to call the ball?


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 26145 | Registered: Aug 2011
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NIK, although I know your question is an important one, and I really hope tesla has last say, other than whine when they go to court for other things, he's too much of an idiot to bother taking her to court to "make" her change the money costing things...like school. That would be work!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5576 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Funny, I have been watching the boards the last week wondering when your exshat was going to start up again. Hmm, he must be on a monthly cycle. I love how him ignoring all of the info and the facts didn't immediately make things happen HIS way. I can't wait for this court update.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1800 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Irishlass -- Yes, I imagine his douchebag alarm must go off about 2-3 weeks ahead of court and he has to concoct some asshatery which will consume his waking hours.

Nik - If he actually made an issue of it, we would have to go to mediation. I'm not too worried about that. He won't actually *do* something about it...screaming and whining is his preferred mode.

But, let's say he did.
1. There is no academic basis for pulling Teslet from this school. They have a rigorous and comprehensive curriculum...and a class size of 12! As an educator, I like what I see.
2. He could say he doesn't want him in a religious school (he's a self described Buddhist diest...yeah, I could never really put heads or tails to that either...especially with his actions) but it's the religion of my family. So I doubt he'll get anywhere there either.

Gemini - yeah, Our Lady of the stripper pole is exactly where he'd send Teslet. If he had his way, he'd have Teslet in half-day kindergarten (does half-day kindergarten even exist anywhere anymore?) and have her watching him the rest of the time.

I think, in his head, he's coming up with a brilliant plan to make a custody grab. I think he's going to try to say that the elementary school in his district (he lives 40 minutes away) is better and that Teslet should live with him so he can attend said school. Seriously. I'm positive this is the fight he's trying to have instead of paying 2012 tax return money, back CS, and ironing out the health insurance bullshit.

The smell of chickenshit wafting into his house from his garage must be poisoning his remaining brain cells.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4734 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage




Sigh ... I don't know what to say. I don't know how you manage to stay sane, tesla. You are the parent that has teslet's best interest but you still have to deal with an absolute idiot.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2298 | Registered: Oct 2012
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Jagoff.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7814 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He really is very unoriginal, I'm a bit disappointed - you'd think he'd at least come up with something new.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4668 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think, in his head, he's coming up with a brilliant plan to make a custody grab. I think he's going to try to say that the elementary school in his district (he lives 40 minutes away) is better and that Teslet should live with him so he can attend said school. Seriously. I'm positive this is the fight he's trying to have instead of paying 2012 tax return money, back CS, and ironing out the health insurance bullshit.
Undoubtedly. Strength to you, honey.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 26145 | Registered: Aug 2011
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

**Yawn**
Translation: I'm broke and I can't pay tuition. I have to pick a fight with you about something silly because you are about to hand me my ass in court because I still haven't stepped up to the plate and done the right thing.
You are exactly right.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3477 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And he would have great luck with that bid for custody. Let's take a closer look at his arguments.
1. School - since Teslet is accustomed to the current school and successful as a student, it makes perfect sense to move him to another school just so exshat doesn't have to pay for tuition.
2. Since Tesla is a teacher and stripper whore is a stripper whore it makes perfect sense to remove Teslet from his current home and give custody to the good folks at Green Acres. There he will learn the valuable skills of chicken farming.
3. Why of course you can get full custody of a child based upon the argument that you can't afford child support. Having said child in your home will be such a money saver.

Please, please, please let him take you to court for full custody. I for one would be selling the popcorn and tickets for that and I would give every dime over to you just for the entertainment value alone. I am not one who takes lightly putting the custody of any child on the line but this would seriously be the biggest slam dunk case in family court history.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1800 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's amazing to me how they stay silent... until money is involved. I could probably sign my five-year-old DD up for skydiving lessons, and as long as I don't ask ex-cheater for money, he wouldn't care.

Almost every conflict I've had with ex-cheater has been about money... I'm sure that if I were willing to pay 100% of the medical bills after insurance, he wouldn't care where I took them. But when he thinks it's 50% of too much, then it's temper tantrum time.

Your ex is just like mine that way. He's got money for Disney World, stripper pole installations, and God knows what all. But when it comes to something responsible rather than fun? Well, it's time to stamp his feet and make noise; he doesn't want to have to spend his money THAT way. I'm sure that if you offered to pay 100% of the tuition, he wouldn't care if you sent Teslet to a basket weaving institute. FTG!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3641 | Registered: Oct 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Yes. Of course Teslet should be removed from a school he's excelling in. Of course. I mean, like:


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10007 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Yes. Of course Teslet should be removed from a school he's excelling in. Of course. I mean, like:


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10007 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think, in his head, he's coming up with a brilliant plan to make a custody grab
Well of course he is. He's telegraphed his intentions by telling Teslet that he's going to come and live with him when he's 8. A custody switch ain't ever going to happen.

Says he told me several times that he wasn't contributing tuition if I sent Teslet to 'that school.'
Yea, because if he said that he did it then it's true, right? The time for him to have lodged his complaint was when you sent the email about it being registration time. He didn't object, so your assumption was that he was okay with it.
Now you're just going to have to add his 1/2 of the tuition to the amount that he already owes you.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8181 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
vcr1995
♀ Member
Member # 22106
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is in your degree about private school? I'm afraid this one he will win if you have nothing in your degree. It doesn't matter that he was going there for preschool, because preschool you have to pay for and kindergarten you don't have to pay for. You already know that even though the status quo at school is best for Teslet, he DOESN'T care. He cares about what is best for him.

Posts: 307 | Registered: Dec 2008
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