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Newest Member: Gladiator5 (45339)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Prohibiting DS to be in presence of OW?
StrongAndCapable
♀ New Member
Member # 44279
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there a way I can legally prohibit my son to be in the presence of the OW? She is not a danger to his physical well being, that I know of, but certainly a threat to his emotional well being. I think it's too hard for a four year old to comprehend the situation and my WH is only concerned about his thrills, not what's best for our son. Can you think of any loopholes that could prohibit WH from having the ability to introduce DS to OW? We live in another state, maybe something having to do with not crossing state lines? WH is trying to get me to agree to allow him to take our son to his 20 yr high school reunion in October, and the OW will be there with her kids too.


BS - me, 37
WH- him, 38
DS - almost 5
DDay - mid April
7 month EA, long distance
3x PA
Continuing long distance A
Moving toward D

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jul 2014
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, I feel your pain, but this is a battle you're not going to win. You can't dictate who he brings around your son in his parenting time unless they present a valid danger. Like being a registered sex offender or something.

Many of us have been in your shoes and you just have to let go. My XH moved from my house right in with his whore and threw her right in my kids' faces immediately. My kids were 5 and 9 months at the time. Their dad also appears to cross dress with the full support of OW. I still can't keep the kids from those losers.

Your son will know you are his mother. Just be the stable loving, presence he needs. That always wins out over some cheap OW.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 918 | Registered: Mar 2013
Jls0320
♀ Member
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you talk to your lawyer? Mine is putting in our divorce papers that ex's whore can not be around the children


Me: 33 BS 2 boys (2yr & 5yr)
Him: 33 WH, too much too list, drowning in his sex addiction
Together 15yrs, married 7yrs
Dday 9/17/2013, more discovered 1/26/14
NC broken 7/28/14- pathetic piece of crap
Separated, divorce filed, he loves his whore lol

Posts: 453 | Registered: Nov 2013
StrongAndCapable
♀ New Member
Member # 44279
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jls, what kind of verbiage is used to state that the child may not be in the presence of the OW?


BS - me, 37
WH- him, 38
DS - almost 5
DDay - mid April
7 month EA, long distance
3x PA
Continuing long distance A
Moving toward D

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jul 2014
Jls0320
♀ Member
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure yet as my H was just served last wk, but I believe it will be some type of morality clause and will just state "children are to not be exposed to woman by name of XXX, or have any other person of the opposite sex over during visitation periods" he can do the same but since he does not have a lawyer I don't see him fighting me on it. Good luck!


Me: 33 BS 2 boys (2yr & 5yr)
Him: 33 WH, too much too list, drowning in his sex addiction
Together 15yrs, married 7yrs
Dday 9/17/2013, more discovered 1/26/14
NC broken 7/28/14- pathetic piece of crap
Separated, divorce filed, he loves his whore lol

Posts: 453 | Registered: Nov 2013
GreatRoleModel
♀ Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Couldn't do anything about the kids meeting her but was able to put in a provision about overnights. Until the kids are 18 he cannot have OW spend the night in the same home until they are engaged and then has to be in a separate bedroom. Only if they are married can she share a bed with him. This rule also applies to me but I do not have impulse control issues. This has prevented vacations together and playing happy family. The times she has come to visit (lives in another state)she has stayed at a hotel. Now they know when they are not at his house she stays there and they go on vacations but not with the kids!


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 361 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well yes, you can put language in a decree about not allowing sleepovers with OW, etc., but it is impossible to enforce. He can do it anyway, and you won't have any recourse. A judge isn't going to say much other than tell you to get over it. Remember, the courts are unemotional about all of this. They don't care that this woman was the OW. They are going to see her as a non-threat to the child if she has no criminal background.

Just know, they you can say whatever you want about morality in a divorce decree, but they aren't enforceable. I wanted one too initially, but my attorney warned that me that are not enforceable and can actually make you look bad. Like you're the petty one that can't just move on and put your kids first.

It sucks I know, but this isn't something you can control.

[This message edited by newlysingle at 5:23 PM, August 10th (Sunday)]


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 918 | Registered: Mar 2013
Futurefear
♀ Member
Member # 43176
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh! I totally can feel your pain!!
I don't want the OW around my kids either as she is just waiting to fill the role as stepmom as she easily gained the 'wife' role...
My attorney said that we can ask for no overnight guests x 6 months and no introducing opposite sex 'friends' x 6 months but realize that they are not enforceable and he will fight me on it.

Guess we just have to swallow our pride and be the best parents that we can and hope/pray that our children will see through this bullshit when they are older!

(((hugs to you)))


me- BW
him- WH
together 9 yrs, married 7
kids-8,5,17 mon
DD#1-Jan 2014, numerous others followed-filed for divorce April 2014, we are still living in the house together, he won't leave without his $$$

"The worst part about being lied t


Posts: 219 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm very sorry. I went through this too when working on the Parenting Plan, but my lawyer also gave it to me straight: it's just not enforceable. Terribly painful, but just one of the many layers of the proverbial shit sandwich we have been served.

Better to hold your head high, smile big during the child exchanges, and be the best parent you can be.

Strength.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
lknup
♀ Member
Member # 37433
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My parenting plan states no unmarried people of the opposite sex may stay overnight unless the other party gives written permission. No names mentioned and also applies to me. He already asked for written permission for OW and I refused. It didn't stop him from telling the kids she lives there, but she sleeps elsewhere when he has the kids. It is a hill I am prepared to die on and STBX knows it. We agreed to this during mediation without lawyers.

Eta: I know this is not really enforceable, but better than nothing IMO.

[This message edited by lknup at 8:33 AM, August 11th (Monday)]


Me: BW
He: WH
DD fall 2012
Getting a Divorce!

Posts: 180 | Registered: Nov 2012
Topic Posts: 10

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