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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Found another name
StealReeling
♀ New Member
Member # 44081
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WS has never come clean or discussed anything about his A. Tells me it was only texting and phone calls but I don't believe anything he tells me. Found another contact name on his Skype I didn't know which was contacted on July 20th. I texted him at work asked who this person was and the answer was, "I don't know." That night out of the blue he went into a rage about this was getting old me checking up on him and looking at his stuff that he was going to put passwords on all of it. He called his mom and told her the same as he told the OW it was all my fault for his betrayal. Made the most ugliest comment yet to me. I have some lymphedema in my left arm from a breast lumpectomy with lymph node removal 2 years ago. Told me he was going to buy me a watch and asked the sales clerk if he could get an extra links for the chain. Told me he started to tell her my arm was as big as a man's arm and thought that was funny. Told me I needed to get my hair done and dye it to a strawberry blond and guess what color his OW's hair color is!?!

Posts: 36 | Registered: Jul 2014
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I physically flinched at his words to you. I am so sorry! His anger at you is unacceptable. Perhaps he is feeling guilty/ashamed of his behavior and lashing out at you, but unacceptable all the same.

(((hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When an unremorseful ws complains of your behavior, take it as a sign that you are on the right path. He is still hiding stuff. You don't have the full truth yet. Don't let his ugliness distract you. Telling his mother, nasty comments to outsiders, all an attempt to stop your search for truth.

Get ready. He's going to do anything he feels necessary to protect his ego. Right now, you are the enemy as far as he's concerned.

You won't get far with his attitude. Can you put the 180 on place and focus on you?


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1873 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((Stillreeling))))))))

He is doing all he can to distract you from getting to the truth that he wants hidden.

It's still no reason for him to treat you so horribly.

If you can do the 180 it will help you not buy into his lies.
It will also help you know your truth in this horrible situation.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5262 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Daisy312
♀ Member
Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a very remorseful FWH and I'm having a very hard time staying M to him. How can you stay with a man that would betray you an then blame his issues of inadequacy on you? Like I said I'm not in your situation, so it's easy for me to say this, but IMO I don't think it matters what details you discover. If he's not giving you them, isn't remorseful, then he doesnt deserve you! Maybe the 180 would make him come around but if not, you do not deserve to be blamed for his As or be verbally beaten!

Posts: 278 | Registered: Sep 2012
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That night out of the blue he went into a rage about this was getting old me checking up on him and looking at his stuff that he was going to put passwords on all of it. He called his mom and told her the same as he told the OW it was all my fault for his betrayal.

What is this guy - 15 years old, calling his mommy and tattling on you and telling her how YOU drove him to his scumbag behavior? Good Lord.

You know, you can choose to be this repulsive jackasses' verbal punching bag for the rest of your life, or you can choose NOT to be.

It's not his decision.

It's yours.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1807 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
StealReeling
♀ New Member
Member # 44081
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the comments and I have made plans! I can't take anymore of the verbal and emotional abuse and rages. I have to get things lined up for a place to stay. I had been out of work for 4 months and had to use my savings to pay bills which he only works 24 hrs a week. I set him up last week with a non traceable number. Asking him if he had left his wife yet, that he was missed. He didn't come clean about. He tried calling and texting the number on his iPAD but never received an answer then he texted his OW asking if she sent him a text. I left him a text on his iPad are you that desperate and hoping she will start texting and calling him again. How could I ever learn to trust him again. He swears he's not going to IC or MC. Ok live with your nasty self!! I can't even mention anything without the anger rages then deny he has a problem!!

Posts: 36 | Registered: Jul 2014
Trying2LoveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 43024
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How horrible and mean! You do not deserve this treatment! HE apparently has a lot of problems! Please take care of YOU! He doesn't deserve you!

Prayers for courage & strength! You deserve more!


Me:BS
Him:FWH
2 DS:35 & 30 , 2 D Grandchildren
"Oh the webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive"....My WH quotes this often.
I found out about H's affair 25 yrs later.Mine is my own "Life is a journey, travel with Care."

Posts: 287 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: New Mexico
blindsided81
♀ Member
Member # 44206
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You do not deserve this treatment. He is not being honest and you deserve better. I am new at all this, but I recognize a person refusing to accept responsibility. Go with your gut and do what you think is best.


Me, BW 51
WH, 47
OW, ttw (trailer trash whore)
DD, 7/21/14
Separated, divorcing his ass as soon as I possibly can!!

Posts: 112 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: North Carolina
amanda123
♀ Member
Member # 43207
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Steal, ((hugs)) we hear you, I can see lots of similarities with my story, why and how they can be such bastards is really beyond my comprehension. How dare he make fun of your situation, that is such an extremely low act. Dont dye your hair unless you want to. Tell him that if he likes the color so much then he can dye his own hair.
I am still snooping and honestly I cant say that I have found anything, as I have said he made me this way, just the same as your WH did to you.
Water off a ducks back!! Dont let his stupid comments get to you. I know it sounds childish but I found that it was a justifying enjoyable moment, after he had lost quite a bit of weight that it made him look a lot older.(' ') I think that my downfall was not fighting back and just taking everything on the chin. He needed to come down a peg or two, he is a very good looking man and in a job where he comes across a lot of people everyday, obviously has a big ego to match so this comment got to him, ha! I say take your own medicine!
I think that once you have decided you have had enough of this kind of bull.... and you walk out on him, this actually affects their egos, they like to be the ones running the show and they were the ones planning on leaving us, so when you turn it around and say im leaving your sorry ass its a shock to them. Dont be surprised if he suddenly starts doing a song and dance wanting you to stay and he will change and do whatever you want.
The decision is totally yours, and you have the power.

Posts: 203 | Registered: Apr 2014
StealReeling
♀ New Member
Member # 44081
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did pack my bags last Wednesday after he went to work and text him saying not coming back except for my stuff once I get a place but checked my banking account and had only $77 that would not even pay for one night's stay in motel room. He started texting me to come back home, never apologizing for his behavior. I came home but payday is coming soon!! I don't say much to him.

Posts: 36 | Registered: Jul 2014
Topic Posts: 11

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