So yesterday was our 34th wedding anniversary .
We decided to treat ourselves to a much needed new bed!!! And holy crap what is difference it is over the old one!!!
So.... A couple of things....
Firstly, while that old bed/mattress was very uncomfortable, it was familiar. We knew where each little sag was, how it was lower at the foot, dipped down in the middle, we knew how to position ourselves to get the best nights sleep.
Thinking on that... Is was very much like our marriage prior to dday. KWIM?
Both of us making "do" with what we were familiar with for quite sometime. Now, obviously there came a point for my H where that was just not good enough for him, he made one choice, I made another.
This weekend we made a choice together, we compromised on style, placement, colors for the new bed. May sound like a very simple thing right? Well not always for a lot of us. We keep trying.
All in all a good start to the celebration/weekend...
Now day of anniversary we load up old mattress/box springs( not worth donating) packing boxes and head for the local dump. We drop mattress, than circle around to recycle packing boxes.... There was a bit of a line...
So, the older gentleman working the site decided to entertain us/himself with the following joke...
woman walks into pharmacy, asks pharmacist for some arsenic to kill her husband.
Pharmacist tells her absolutely not they both would be arrested for murder!!!
So the woman pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with his wife.
Pharmacist replies.... Well now, I did not know you had a prescription.
OK, for me? NOT FUNNY!!! Did he have any idea how offensive that joke was ? No, probably never had to deal with infidelity.
I just turnd my head, line started ( thank god) moving and we did what we came to do then left.
My H did apologize for the trigger, which was very thoughtful. We discussed how neither of us found any humur in those types of jokes.
I admitted while yes, it most certainly did trigger me, I was not going to let it ruin my day. And I did not!!!
I really just wanted to share this with those not as far out as I am, it really does get oh so much better!!!
While it was a trigger/pin prick, I was able to stay in the moment after a bit of reflection and enjoy the day with my husband .
This shit ain't easy no doubt about, but you can accept your reality, chose to not let these things take you to your knees!
Time is huge!!!! Good luck to all those facing any kind of anniversary/anti-anniversary/affair season ..... BE KIND TO YOURSELF!! Be patient with your feelings, your healing.
It is YOUR timeline. It most certainly true you can only move through this stuff, not around, not under, not over!!!
Peace to you all!