Today in church I noted how my wife looks older. I then came home and looked, really looked in the mirror. I look older too.
Shouldn't surprise me...but it does. I get the damaging affects of stress hormones on the body. I have witnessed first hand the 20 pound weight loss many speak of. I have seen more of my scalp lately and notice my wifes hair as both thinner and more coarse.
We are already a-typical aged parents for a 7 and 10 year old in the part of Missouri we live in, a part where highschool sweethearts marry and have kids at 18-19 years old. I really think that by the time our girls are in highschool we will resemble grandparents more than parents....I already think we look more like that than parents!
I appreciate the weight loss as it also coincided with my lifting weights...tone is good. Plus my last blood work showed a 30 point drop in cholesterol. Still at 205, needs to be around 100 for me....but it was a nice thing to see on a report!
Still.....as i look at my wife and in the mirror....I am reminded about the trials and struggles of the last 2 years.
I am letting my beard come back in....much gray and white in it this time.
Feel a little uncomfortable with this as I did move a boundary around at a work conference about 6 months after my first DD. I had a gotee then and entered into a flirtatious conversation with a girl almost half my age....ending in me allowing her to rub and comment on my gotee. Shortly there after I excused myself from the hospitality gathering and went to my hotel room....sick to my stomach feeling. So I may shave soon.....
Yeah, a nothing post. Most of us know this ages us. Just awake and a bit restless.
Thanks for reading.
I have done well to remind myself that God made me human. As such, I do tire. He provides the gift of sleep for me to use so that I may endure the trials tomorrow will surely bring.
That is not working tonight.....but that works for me many nights. I pass it along in hopes that you can attempt to recognize sleep as a gift too.
God is with us all.
And Blake, I am long past old enough to be a grandma here is the part of the rural, upper Midwest where I live, and we have a 10 year old, only child - which is also highly suspect. SO, I get ya there.
This may be a bit of a t/j on looks, but, honestly, I look better than I did pre-A. I am somewhat self-conscious about that, as well. (Don't want to be the wife that "got herself together" because of her husband's affair.) I have lost weight, am more fit, put more effort into how I look and dress, and I am totally enjoying it. Mr. Bionic is enjoying it, too. I am still not exactly where the BMI chart says I should be, and maybe never will be. But, I feel better, and am stronger.
We went to a dance this weekend, and I took what felt like a huge risk and wore a big, swirly dress and heels -- not normal Bionicgal style. Mr Bionic was beside himself. . . how could I not have known before how much he'd like to see me dress up? The things you learn after 25 years together. I had all these preconceived, "feminist" notions about not caring much about how one looked, or of not trying to 'please' a man. Well, I rocked my "instrument of the patriarchy" shoes this weekend, and we were both happier for it.
H and I have both gotten comments lately (together) about how good we look. I am not trying to brag or deny anyone's reality, infidelity is a real bitch, but I do think some of this is a state of mind. What is certain is that we are all aging, and maybe as we recover from this, we'll get a couple-year reprieve from the process!
And great news about your cholesterol, Blake. I am trying to get up the nerve to go get my first physical since dday.
I edit, therefore I am.
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
I also appreciate my cholesterol numbers have dropped 30 points and I don't jiggle as I jog at the gym anymore.
But I note the "older" look in and around my eyes....and maybe that because I see into me more through my eyes. Its in my wifes eyes that I notice the aging the most.
I'm only 3 months out, and although I don't see wrinkles, I do feel my body somewhat deteriorating in ways it shouldn't be at my age. I've developed IBS and suffer from migraines on a normal basis, so all this has only made recovering that much harder on a physical level for me. I've lost 15lbs and though I've always been petite I clearly look malnourished and underweight now. I am noticing quite a lot of white hair. I get light headed whenever I stand up or bend down. My body aches in areas I know I probably shouldn't be aching and I constantly have nausea which doesn't help with trying to eat regularly. I've found myself just having to sit down and rest while doing normal day-to-day tasks as well.
I'm trying my best to take care of myself, but it's honestly really hard to do this when I'm still in limbo and have no real structure to my life at the moment. I hope it gets better for all of us.
Trying to accept this nightmare is real every morning.
"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"
Even with the miracle infidelity diet, this has aged my appearance. And from what I understand, even the weight loss is only temporary. The M might feel new and fresh, and in some ways so am I. There are other days I do just feel old, tired, angry and broken. I'm sure it shows...
BH (Me) 49
D-Day Mar 19, 2014
1 year passionate EA/PA, ended by me on d-day.
Attempting to R
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...
Way to go bionic for rocking a swishy dress and to you blakesteele for getting that cholesterol down.
And blake...we are older parents - esp in these parts where people also marry their hs sweethearts and have kids right away. Maybe we will get mistaken for their grandparents at grade 8 grad!
Hugs to you all!
[This message edited by LA44 at 10:21 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]
Physically, I feel great. I can't explain it, but physically I feel like I'm 10 years younger. I resumed regular exercise a few months after dday, I guess that's the reason.
I wish good health for all of us!