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Newest Member: hewaseverything (44947)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Need Good Thoughts Tomorrow
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 5:22 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey y'all...it's me.

Tomorrow will mark my 25th Woulda Anniversary. Even though I'm five years post D, I'm anticipating a rough day at sea as most if you get that this storm never really goes away. It just changes direction.

Ex-asshat blocked in every conceivable communicative way? Check.

IC's contact number at the ready? Check.

Schedule full to ensure distraction? Check.

Still I know that at times tomorrow certain memories of that day will flood back. Please remind me that my new beginning is just that, that it's much better to be without him then with him, and if you want to toss in a few reminders to me as to why he is such an asshole, feel free.

Thanks in advance.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21051 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 5:50 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know we have your back

I'm sorry you're still going through this my friend. I had some of this around DGS's birth, but it's faded, and so will your angst.

(((((ajsmom)))))


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20170 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ajsmom)))

I'm sorry. It's okay to have the bumpy day. Five years from tomorrow I'll bet it will be easier--does that help?


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had my 25th woulda back in January, so I get it. You get a gold star for recognizing it might be tough and lining up self-care ahead of time.

You've got this, honey.

(((((ajsmom)))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25359 | Registered: Aug 2011
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know we have your back

Ditto...always!!

((((ajsmom))))


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13753 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Standing right behind you - mine is coming up in about 2 months.

You can do it. The super-coolness that is you will prevail.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7648 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4142 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh shoot, I can barely remember what day it was... You will too eventually!

Might be a good day to take a kickboxing class?


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17391 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I experienced what woulda been my 25 one year (yes one) after the D was final. I spent the day weeping in my bed. Then I got up and moved on. Now, 9 years later, I don't even remember the day until it has passed.

Sending strength and peace.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7690 | Registered: Aug 2005
Charity411
♀ Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good thoughts coming your way. I know just how you feel. When my daughter was pregnant she was due on what would have been my anniversary. I was so glad she was overdue. The thought of that being my grand daughter's birthday was horrific to me. And I can't imagine having to spend the 22 hours in the maternity waiting room that I did with him if it was on our anniversary. It was bad enough days later but that would have been pure hell.

Five years is nothing. I felt that way 20 years out.


Posts: 331 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take a deep breath and remember we love ya!!

It will be over soon. And then it will be in the past.

((((hugs))))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5821 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey ajsmom, missed you lately! Sorry this date is here, but I know you can make it through, and we're all here for you if you need it.

Good news, is once you are past this one, you're all good, and I'm hopeful it will pass more easily than you think. ((ajsmom))


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4516 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You got this ajsmom, you're tough. My 25th was 3 months before the divorce, so at least I don't have to dread it coming up! Don't forget to do something nice for yourself in the middle of all that busy-ness.

And thanks for being the Commish!

[This message edited by kernel at 7:51 PM, August 11th (Monday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5136 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((AJ)))

we've missed you around these parts.

My X and I were together 7 years before we married. Our 10th anni would have been 7/17/14. I was pretty ready to be bothered by it. Nope...

Not at all. It crossed my mind but didn't send me spinning at all. You may be surprised by your lack of reaction.

but


You know where to find us!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AJ,

You've got this. Sending you (((hugs))) and forgetfulness for tomorrow.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 748 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending the bestest of good thoughts. Remember you can feel all of your feelings Darlin', you don't have to like them or want them, you just have to feel 'em...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3130 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
yewtree
♀ Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey! Just think how much stronger you will be after tomorrow!!!!
I hope you will do something nice for yourself.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4666 | Registered: Oct 2007
roseguide
♀ Member
Member # 35697
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ajsmom))))


In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you. – Buddhist saying

Posts: 206 | Registered: May 2012 | From: New Jersey
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking about you today Ajsmom. Hang in here. We are all here to vent to when you need support.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you good vibes!


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 562 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Topic Posts: 31
Pages: 1 · 2

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