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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Finding your balls and moving along
asurvivor
♂ Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So Sunday while standing on the 12th tee waiting for this foursome from hell to find their balls for the 12th straight hole I’m wondering, “will I finish this round of golf before the end of August?” But then I looked around at the beautiful vineyard covered hills and the cloudless sky and thought, “Will I finish this round of golf before the end of August?” It was a concern as it was damn hot and August is a long month.

Well instead of 3.5 hour round I’m back in the clubhouse 6 hours later dragging myself to the bar on my knees with one hand up in the air squeaking in a parched voice, “beer, need beer now.” I pull myself up on a bar stool and as I’m chugging this Stella the bartender says, “Hey Homer Simpson, someone told me to give you this” and handed me an envelope… OK,he didn't call me Homer but he did hand me the envelope.

Seems my X knowing my golf and beer routine, bought me a number of beers (actually enough until the end of August) with a note saying she appreciates what a great job I’m doing keeping my daughter off the “Molly” and the next door boy…no no, actually she said how she appreciates the way I’m taking care of and raising our daughter and what a lovely young lady she is turning out to be. (Kid lives with me, the X lives in LA, and kid has been down there for some of the summer break)
Well we have both moved on and I have long past taken her off my “beeeetttttccchhhh, you have ruined my life and I hate your guts and hope you get all ugly and you die slow painful horrible long lasting death list,’” but this is the first time she has bought me a beer since the whole nasty business so now the forgiveness is complete. Amazing what a nice cold free Stella, some air conditioning, and a note complementing on your parenting skills can accomplish to help a man get past his troubles.

So I know what you’re thinking,” He is just posting this crap so we will think he is such a wonderful dad and his X even buys him some beers and blah blah blah and he must be a totally shallow wanker if a few free beers will complete the forgiveness even for what that beeetttcccchhhh did” …. Well no shit…exactamundo and guilty as charged. Actually, to be more exactamundo, I would say I have found my balls and I'm moving on and even though I just may be that shallow wanker, what the hell,…Lift your glasses and a toast to all of us finding our balls and moving forward …it’s too f-ing hot in August to stand on a tee and watch your life go smoldering by...we can do this.

[This message edited by asurvivor at 10:18 AM, August 11th (Monday)]


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 576 | Registered: Jun 2011
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations! Here's to finding your balls.

And, to being a great dad.


A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 13838 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love your updates, truly. You deserved the beer. And it's great for your daughter as well as for you that you could take it.

[This message edited by norabird at 2:53 PM, August 11th (Monday)]


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
osxgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

asurvivor - has anyone ever told you that you really have a way with words?

Seriously, you would probably make a good writer (of course, if that's what you are, then I would probably enjoy reading some of what you've written!)


Posts: 2411 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You do have a way with words.

I'm a woman who found her balls - I just keep mine in a really great purse!

It is a beautiful life. So many things to be thankful for.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7820 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

asurvivor, if you start a blog, please let me know. Writing like yours is a gift. Oh, and congrats on the balls, moving on, and being a great dad.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 537 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That right there just became my favourite post of the day!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17706 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am far too naive to enjoy your posts the first read through. I am just trekking along, believing every word when you do that no, no, really routine. Or maybe I enjoy reading whiplash?

I agree with the others. You have talent!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5909 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep it with Lily Allen and Hard Out There

Love your writing style, keep it coming.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to confess: I read your subject line, "fondling your balls." Which says more about me than you, I fully realize.

Great job, great progress! (And great post )


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9035 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know this joke about a guy who is stuck behind some slow players on the back nine...so I thought maybe you were going there with this thread...Your humoristic retelling of your true life experience is as entertaining as a joke though! Glad you are making peace with things.

And I too, love my Stella Artois....Cheers!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3236 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Betrayeddaddio
♂ Member
Member # 30198
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That shit really can be wiped off.....good to know.....


BH-42 WW-40 DD-5 DD-9 DD-11
D-Day 09/27/2010 Wayward wife had a 10 month A with married DB co-worker Separated Oct. 2013

Posts: 709 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Canada
asurvivor
♂ Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought yesterday when I wrote this that it may actually be my last post in NB. I really do appreciate the “likes” but I have felt that I may be too nonsensical for some and they were not, I don’t know, “painful” enough and I mean that sincerely and in the best possible way.

I'm in a very maudlin mood this morning as so many of us who live in the Bay Area have a Robin Williams story or two and I will just say that it is very sad time for me and he will be missed.

So, no need to comment on any of this, just thanks again.


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 576 | Registered: Jun 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As for "not painful enough" I think people post when they are struggling to get the feedback so that tends to be the tone. But perhaps more importantly are those who post from beyond the pain to light the way for those still struggling in it.

You will post or not as works for you. The SI motto of "take what you need and leave the rest" works in so many facets.

I understand the grief. It feels as if a nation is mourning.

(((hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5909 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Topic Posts: 14

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