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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Getting a sick pleasure out of lying
IrishGirlVA
♀ Member
Member # 39694
Shutup  Posted: 12:38 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no where else to confess this except here -- by those who get it. Oh, and my BFF who never judges me.

My ex and I have been over for a very long time but we live and work in very close proximity. It's not uncommon to drive by one another or be at the same store at the same time. We also have mutual friends. It's more like a 2 degrees of separation thing.

Anyway, I heard he is building a room over his garage and will be moving in his ex(?)-gf/baby momma's parents. His gf and children are still stuck in another country until immigration figures out how to get them back. Eventually, they are all going to be one fucking happy family again.

One of the things I know about my ex is that he may not want me but he doesn't want anyone else to want me either. More importantly, he wants me to still pine after him.

So, I used the 2-degrees of separation gossip line to leak that I am with someone else and have happily moved on. It is half true. I happily moved on but I am not dating anyone because I'm not ready. Plus, I am enjoying my singlehood too much. But I'm just so sick of thinking that HE is thinking he destroyed me. I want him to suffer, even just a little, with the image of me sharing my bed with someone else.

I'm not proud about lying, and dragging my BFF into my deceit, but a part of me does get a little pleasure from this. When I passed him on the road yesterday I was able to hold my head up a little higher. Does that make any sense?

*sigh*

Thanks for listening to my confession!

[This message edited by IrishGirlVA at 12:40 PM, August 11th (Monday)]


Me, the "B": 41yo
Him, the "W": 38yo
DDay: June 2013
Status: Over

Posts: 253 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand. That said, while I don't think you need to retract this planted rumor, don't perpetuate it, and ask your BFF not to anymore either. Think how smug he would feel if he knew you stooped to this, and why. He absolutely doesn't deserve that smugness!

I get that for someone broken like your ex, they equate being single to pining and being in a relationship with winning at life, or something--but how juvenile is that? His opinion of how you're moving on truly shouldn't matter so long as you are doing it in the healthiest way for you.

(((IrishGirl)))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
brokeninfl
♀ Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I get it. About 6 months after our divorce was final my exWH was all up in arms because he "knew I was dating" (which I was not, not even close). When he asked about it I told him it was none of his business, which I knew (and got a small sick pleasure out of) he would interpret as a "yes".

So, I really do get where you are coming from, but nora is right, don't play this one out too much. Enjoy the short term satisfaction and keep on with your great new beginning.


"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.


Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
IrishGirlVA
♀ Member
Member # 39694
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got a second round of satisfaction this morning which still has me giggling. This time, no lies!

This past year has been awful. The break-up, getting my finances straight, work issues, family problems, a health scare, etc. Got most of those things taken care of and decided I deserved something pretty. Like diamond jewerly or a Coach purse. Turned out my something pretty was a new-to-me convertible. Picked it up last week. It's silver and sparkly. Anyway, was driving into work this morning -- top down, music turned up. Was sitting at a light and making a turn in front of me was no other than the beast himself. He looked, looked away, looked back. A classic double take move. I'm sure he was surprised to see me in something other than my conservative 4-door sedan.

Anyway, thank you for your responses. I agree that I shouldn't make it into a big production. Luckily, before my BFF was able to proactively plant the seed, she was asked by her friend (a guy she used to date but is now friends with my ex) if I was seeing anyone. She told me she kept her answer very non-chalant. In fact, when she told me what she said, I was thinking it was TOO non-chalant. Now, I see that that was the best way to go.

I do feel bad lying and allowing him to still have some emotional power over me but I just want him to know that he, too, can be replaced. That he is NOT the end all, be all. Still working on that in my NB.


Me, the "B": 41yo
Him, the "W": 38yo
DDay: June 2013
Status: Over

Posts: 253 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
brokeninfl
♀ Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He looked, looked away, looked back. A classic double take move

Nice!


"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.


Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, you can always say that you are really enjoying playing the field right now....there are so many options and so much available! Not really a lie, because I am sure you are dating around a bit.....or going to date around.....

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 10:29 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15240 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No matter what, your life sounds much better. I can't imagine having to move my gf's parents above my garage. Sounds awful .


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 902 | Registered: Mar 2013
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

a new-to-me convertible. Picked it up last week. It's silver and sparkly. Anyway, was driving into work this morning -- top down, music turned up. Was sitting at a light and making a turn in front of me was no other than the beast himself. He looked, looked away, looked back. A classic double take move. I'm sure he was surprised to see me in something other than my conservative 4-door sedan.
I'm lovin' this!!! I have overcome a lot of issues, too and I'd love a convertible. I am still having to wait. No way am I getting a four-door anything!! You go, Girl! How great that you had the top down the first (and second) time he looked! Hee!

Posts: 1266 | Registered: Aug 2010
Topic Posts: 8

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