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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I am going to kill him.
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This idiot pisses me off soooooooooo much.
Ugh. Anyone with experience in health insurance -- I need your advice.

Back story -- last November I was setting up for Teslet to have dental work done. Unfortunately, he inherited his dad's lousy teeth (seriously, ex-shat is sporting a mouth of porcelain implants) and the procedure required anesthesia to keep Teslet as comfortable as possible. Ex-shat needed to pay a certain amount up front that would be reimbursed back to him after his insurance settled everything. He didn't do it. I couldn't at the time. He loses his insurance because he's a fucking drunk and lost his job. I put Teslet on my insurance and finally this summer had enough contributed in my HSA to cover the up front expense. Because of scheduling shit and all the other hoops you have to jump through, his procedure was scheduled for 9 Sept. I informed ex-shat of this, oh, I don't know, back in July.

Dentist calls me up today, says they've had a cancellation and could move Teslet up to this Thursday! Yay, he really needs to have this done, I don't have to take off work, and he doesn't miss school. Win, right?

Oh, no of course fucking not. I tell ex-shat the procedure can be moved up to Thursday. He asks for details. I tell him.
He says, BTW, I had Teslet covered by my insurance through new employer effective 1 August. He gives me the plan numbers.

What the hell??!! Piece of shit! You didn't think to let me know the day you became eligible? You knew he had an expensive procedure coming up. You knew I was carrying him on my insurance.

So what do I do? I filed a motion back in February to have the decree amended to say that I would carry Teslet on my insurance...but nothing has come of that yet. At the four-way, we tentatively discussed having ex-shat continue carrying Teslet on his insurance when it became available to him...but we didn't have a date on that...he was supposed to let me know! The decree currently states that ex-shat is to carry Teslet on his insurance if it is available to him through work. Okay, he's doing that. So, does that mean that I tell the dentist and anesthesiologist to run ex-shat's insurance for pre-approval which will most likely put the procedure back to the original date? Are there consequences for carrying Teslet on his and my insurance until we get the motion I filed back in February regarding insurance settled? Do I just say fuck it, do the procedure Thursday and then file the claim with his insurance? What am I not considering here?
UGH.

I am so fucking tired of writing shit to my lawyer.

[This message edited by tesla at 9:37 PM, August 11th (Monday)]


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have the procedure done Thursday and settle the insurance thing later.

There shouldn't be any reprocussions being covered by both.

I am covered by 2 healthcare policies and my kids are covered by 2 vision policies.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5447 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double dental is awesome, even if xh isn't. Have dentist file both insurances and make sure to get preapproval if necessary. Used to be the parent with the first birthday of the year was the primary. Maybe since decree has him as carrying insurance his will be primary. That's why you let dentists office take care of it.

You get to keep that health savings for something else. Good news!


Posts: 2175 | Registered: Mar 2011
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he's considered the primary insurer, then it's possible the dentist will refund my health savings account?
I'm just so tired of getting screwed over by him.
And I really want to take advantage of the Thursday cancellation.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would say that his IQ hovers around room temperature, but we don't measure in degrees Celsius in the United States.

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should be able to add ex-shat's insurance. You can carry both and have his as the primary and yours as the secondary. We did that with my step-daughter.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4000 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 2:03 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes if your insurance is listed as primary and they have reason to believe he has other coverage they will want a coordination of benefits, which just means they work together and decides who the primary is. But if it's decided that exshat's is primary and they required preauthorization then it's possible they won't cover it. *Sometimes* secondary insurance will deny coverage if procedures weren't followed that caused a denial of the primary.

Best to call them and let them know. It shouldn't require a rescheduling. When you call his insurance be sure to mention you were just told of this coverage. Then call your back, give them a heads up and ask how they handle denials for preauth by the primary when they are secondary.

Then no surprises for you later on. But yes, you'll be refunded if his insurance pays after the fact.

You know you aren't shocked he did this, it's just a huge pain in the ass that you have to sort out because he just wouldn't bother. He's the opposite of dependable, but you know this already. He's got a reputation to uphold.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1900 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
realitybites
♀ Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 5:45 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keep the app't. Go.

Once there let them know there is another policy now on teslet and that you want to know if they can use both or just one. They deal with insurance companies so they will let you know.

After this proceedure is done you can then go back and be pissed off about him once again not telling you anything at all. I would worry though if he does not keep the job he is at he could lose insurance again so it all depends on what "kind" of insurance he has.


Posts: 5679 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 5:54 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As far as this appointment is concerned, I agree with the others that you should keep it. Let the dentist know about the other policy but tell them that you do not want any insurance bureaucracy to interfere with Teslet getting his teeth fixed.

After that IMO, if you can afford to keep Teslet on your insurance then I would recommend that you do that. Exshat has proven repeatedly how unreliable he is. If you insure him then it is one less headache you have to worry about. Forget about what he is supposed to do, if you can afford it then take the path that is easiest and least aggravating for you.

"Oh you got him coverage? Well I already took care of it because you are unreliable and irrelevant."


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
wanttogoforward
♀ Member
Member # 29912
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Provide the ex's insurance to the dentist and explain the issue. I also have two plans- mine and my H's.... the kids are primary on the H's because his birthday is first in the year- that is how it usually works. He is primary on his own and I am primary on mine. Because we are married we are secondary on each others- what one insurance company doesn't cover the other one will.
For example I recently went in for a check- up and then got a bill for like 20 bucks. I called and the office said to not pay since the other insurance should pick it up.

Call them asap and tell them the name of the insurance and that your ex is primary according to the agreement (they may want to see it). Then have them see what is covered. You/ your insurance will likely cover the rest. They like to do pre approvals only because it guarantees the procedure is covered and then the dentist is not out money when people refuse to pay the bill they were not expecting. Talk to them and explain and they will still likely not postpone and will do a quick check of the policy.


Posts: 1184 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still lost
LearningToRun
♀ Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dentist offices have people who do othing but work with insurance issues day in, day out. Let them navigate the mess. Nothing for you to worry about

Posts: 274 | Registered: Feb 2011
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aside from ex-shat being the douche that we already know he is, this is really awesome news.

Take the awesome, just wipe the other shit off, and move on.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, this is good news.
I've talked to my insurance company and we will go forward...no worries.

What a trigger, though. I hate how he dumps shit on me like that and then I have to sort it. That was our marriage...he did all the big, flashy, "I'm fucking amazing" shit while I held all the details together and made sure the amazing shit actually happened.
God, I'm glad that I'm not married to that idiot anymore.

I'm going to have to continue to carry Teslet on my insurance -- unless I can find a punitive way to hold ex-shat accountable for informing me of changes -- because I just can't trust that he will do the right thing and let me know if there is a break in coverage.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to have to continue to carry Teslet on my insurance -- unless I can find a punitive way to hold ex-shat accountable for informing me of changes -- because I just can't trust that he will do the right thing and let me know if there is a break in coverage.

I was going to suggest this. And get him to pay his share of it. You have a court date coming up don't you?


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 12
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And don't forget to emphasize to the office staff that if you will be entitled to a refund -- to be SURE that it gets sent to you and not ex-shat (since it sounds as if you're the one who paid the upfront fee).

Tes, you know that it is ALWAYS going to be *something* with this guy whether it's to intentionally fuck with you or just because he doesn't *do life* in an organized manner. You'll just have to decide which battles are worth fighting and which are best for you to just roll your eyes at (such as just carrying Tes on your insurance because ex-shat is unreliable). Might be worth it on this issue to formally change *who* is required to carry the insurance and then also possibly change the support amounts to reflect that change?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8087 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just so you know, you have established premeditation with your topic title. So now you'll have to let Ex-Shat live. Darn it.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1866 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 16

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