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Newest Member: jdgrief (45719)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Tired of hypocrisy
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm just putting this here because it helps. My family and friends are great about listening, but I like writing to people who really know what I'm going through. I feel like I set down some of the burden that I'm carrying when I post my feelings here. I know that some of this stems from the fact that my kids are going on the yearly beach vacation with the ex and the rest of The Brady Bunch, and while I occupy myself just fine while they're gone, I still dread it when it comes and feel so relieved when the kids are back.

I think I'm just tired by the thought that I will have to deal with the morons' hypocrisy for another decade or so. It sickens me when I hear or am forced to witness their image-related efforts at being "good" parents, and at the same time, hear from my kids about how the stepkids are often favored over my kids or deal with my ex's money-grubbing, miserly emails in which he makes it very clear that he cares more about the bottom line than our children. I can't tell you how much I wish I could achieve true NC. I envy those who can.

I'm just having a rough couple of days. I am tired of hearing about these losers and their bizarre attempts at parenting that are almost bipolar in nature-- some days, they are trying so hard to be Parents of the Year! Other days, they sound like the most insecure, needy creatures who couldn't parent their way out of a paper bag. I feel sorry for my kids, and I wish that I had gotten together with someone who had truly wanted to be their dad. I think that if my ex could have run away with his AP without dealing with any repercussions from his family, he would have done it in a heartbeat. However, he deeply fears their disapproval (which might mean being cut off from the family money, so he's really fearful), so we're stuck with him and whatever trash he brings into my kids' lives.

Thanks for listening.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3641 | Registered: Oct 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like I set down some of the burden that I'm carrying when I post my feelings here.

I do this too. I also know it helps me to know I have been heard and understood. You've been heard and understood.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5906 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
bigskyblues
♂ Member
Member # 36759
Default  Posted: 3:38 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tryingagain74, this is the greatest place to just vent. Were all here for each other in that sense.

I feel for your kids, it is just so incomprehensible how a parent can "check out" from being a parent. Kids are amazing they figure out life even when it hurts. All you can do is continue being there for them, be the good parent. When it is all said and done and they are adults, hopefully their dad is someone they can still love, but I will bet a dollar their mom is the one the love and RESPECT!

Hope your days get better!

BSB


BH 50s
xWW 50s

Dday1 7-2012
Dday2 8-2012
Divorce 9-2012

4 kids all adults.

Married 22+ years.

I have moved on and life is good!


Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2012
Lola2kids
♀ Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel sorry for my kids, and I wish that I had gotten together with someone who had truly wanted to be their dad. I think that if my ex could have run away with his AP without dealing with any repercussions from his family, he would have done it in a heartbeat.

I feel the same way.
X did run away with no repercussions.
I am dealing with the fall out.

I feel sorry for your kids too.
Having to deal with the insta-family and knowing that they rate lower.

I hope they at least have a little fun on the beach vacation. Maybe the good result will be that your kids will become closer to each other and rely on each other for comfort and for fun.

(((trying)))

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 9:02 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1449 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tryingagain & kids)))

I'm sorry, but glad you posted. It will get easier as your kids get older, but it's no fun.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear you loud and clear.
((((hugs)))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4734 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 6

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