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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Surreal - Seeing XH for first time after divorce
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saw him for the first time in 8 months.
I feel nothing, he's just someone I use to know.
Stopped at his house to pick up my daughter for surgery today, she overslept so I had to knock.
It was 3:45 am and he answered the door. Invited me in, asked if I wanted coffee (I declined).
He met us here at the hospital and we have been sitting in the same area each on our computer.
Spoke a few words here and there. He did ask if I wanted to get lunch. I again declined.
I cannot believe I'm feeling nothing other than annoyance that he has to be here.
Wow,just wow.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
HeBrokeVows
♀ Member
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know"

I love that song. I hope to be where you are some


Download "Somebody That I Use…" Ringtone
"Somebody That I Used To Know"
(feat. Kimbra)

[Gotye:]
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

[Kimbra:]
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

[Gotye:]
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

[x2]
Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)

(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
Somebody

[This message edited by HeBrokeVows at 11:19 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 472 | Registered: Apr 2014
bravegirl19
♀ New Member
Member # 43539
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh soveryweary, I'm so glad you posted this. I have not seen my STBXH since DDay 2 1/2 months ago. I truly hope the first time I do it will be an experience like yours. I am so afraid that seeing him will set my healing back.

Happy to hear that you have been able to move on, and that even being in the same space as him doesn't ruin your mood or hurt anymore. I also love that you consistently declined his invitations...


Me (BS) – 36
WS – 35
Dday – 5/25/14
Together since 2003, married 6 1/2 years
EA and PA with COW for at least 3 months WHILE I WAS PREGNANT (still don’t know the truth of the length of this affair or possibly others)
He doesn’t want to be married

Posts: 48 | Registered: May 2014
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not seen my XWH since he picked up the last of his crap from our house, which was about a month before the D was final. (Our D was handled completely by mail, and I worked it out so we didn't even have to see each other for any part of it). It's been about a year and a half now. I've seen photos etc, but I dread the day I see him again face to face. The ONLY thing that would make me endure his presence would be if/when my x-stepdtr and her fiancé get married. Nothing else. I hope when the day comes, I am as calm and unaffected as you are!

Hope all goes well with your daughters surgery.

[This message edited by gypsybird87 at 11:56 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 919 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
justme1264
♂ Member
Member # 42890
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

soveryweary - I am so glad you posted this. Not feeling anything for him, especially the pain he caused you, must be such an amazing place to be in.

I can't wait to be where you are! Congratulations on moving on completely from his crap. Love this!


Don't kick me when I am down. Because when I get back up, you're f*cked.

Posts: 406 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: justme1264
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There was a time when I hadn't seen XH for about 6-8 months when he showed up at dd3's sports event. I walked right past him, sat in my usual spot with all the other team moms. DD1 and DD2 (home from college) also walked past him when he stopped them. I sat there wondering who the hell is this old man and why is he talking to my kids, how do they know him! It wasn't until they came to sit with the moms and I asked, when they said it was XH!!!! I was shocked. Even the moms that know XH were surprised, he looked like grizzly Adams.

I doubt I would recognize him. And I'm ok with that!


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5282 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lovely ladies, you will get there.
It really is time heals.
I do have to say, I am lucky because we don't have minor children where I have to see him a lot.
He did sit near me and take a phone call from his new love.
Still a disgusting person. I could hear him and his suggestive, seductive talk. I think he did it on purpose.
I just feel sorry for her, she doesn't know what is in store for her.
Wishing you all one day closer to feeling nothing for X.

[This message edited by soveryweary at 6:16 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You will get there too justme1264!!

[This message edited by soveryweary at 6:31 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
Topic Posts: 8

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