“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40
"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup
Sorry to hear that, man.
I know it's small consolation at this time, but at least you know where she stands. At least you won't be one of those who get lied to for some extra years.
I will always thank STBXWW for that much. It will help you detach and look elsewhere for happiness.
Hang in there. You don't have to take it anymore. You've got a life to live, time to shift gears and start living it. (Note to self: take my own advice )
Sample recovery plan, feedback welcome: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=539961
"the reality is, she betrayed me over and over and she is not remorseful at all, only talking about getting over her guilt and shame and really not taking any responsibility for the pain that I have endured multiple times."
I know EXACTLY what you mean by being at the end of your rope. You can't be in marriage with a WW who is incapable of remorse. It is beyond hurtful of what they did with their betrayal. It is 1000x more hurtful when they continue to make choices post affair that are so selfish, so immature, and so cruel. Their fawking guilt and shame is enough to drive a thousand knives right through our hearts and they DON'T GET IT. My swtbxww didn't blatantly say she would cheat again. That has to hurt like a mfer! But, my WW was just lying anyway.
Only you can choose to end your marriage. For me, forcing the divorce was the kindest thing I could do for myself and for her. She needed to face the consequences...real consequences. But, I have found she runs from them anyway, never really facing any consequence. She just continues to numb her guilt with more careless and damaging choices. I went back and forth with her. It was a tortuous experiences...long and tortuous. But, I came out knowing 100% I had done everything possible to save our marriage. Unfortunately, without true remorse, there can be no marriage.
Churchill once said, "when you get to the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on." I tied a hell of a knot and boy did I hold on. Eventually, she cut that knot off. That was some serious pain.
My heart goes out to you (((steppingup)))
[This message edited by justme1264 at 4:54 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)]
I know I have felt an overwhelming sense of calm, peace and excitement about the future since I realized one key thing about getting rid of her:
My conscience is clear. I tried. She didn't.
DDay - June 7, 2014
Me - 43
WW - 41
DD - 6 and 3
Pulling the Plug
One of our last conversations...(Me) "So am I not good enough for you?" (Her) *Silent*
Ok, that's enough...I cannot take it anymore.