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Newest Member: Marqui (45328)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: xbil is a bh and related story
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Suspicious  Posted: 7:17 AM, August 14th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was married for 18.5 years to a jerk. He has two brothers and one sister. His brother was married 7 years ago, no kids. When xwh and I split I was the bad person and his family sided in with him and ow/nw said I "deserved to be cheated on"
My girls come home from a multi week summer visit with dad. They tell me that ow/nw told them that Uncle Y's wife had an affair, and that Uncle Y found out from the other man's BW. It was an emotional affair turning or turned physical. XBIL was going to commit suicide upon hearing the news and was Baker Acted into a psychiatric hospital for two weeks. He is now living with my girls' grand parents/his parents during the separation. I am still wondering why ow/nw told my teens in the first place, and how was she NOT ASHAMED to tell this story when their own dad cheated with other women and she as one of them, and that she was an OW herself. But she too lives in a warped reality where she tells people xwh and I were already apart and they met on yahoo personals. Um no and anyone with any smarts could figure out the timeline of their "dating" and his divorce from me. And they married 3 months after it was final. He knew her 6 months before that. Coco puffs!
It kind of makes sense how xwh has been even more rude over emails, he can't face what he did now seeing his brother in so much emotional pain, and he has zero conscious self awareness so he was acting out in other ways- a type of projection, by being extra mean to me.
How is it that this family excused what one son did but now that their other son is a BH, change their tune about infidelity? One of their own cheated did the same thing to someone else! Ok I didn't go to the psyche ward but like most BS, I was plenty screwed up emotionally... AND there were three children involved! What a bunch of sick fucks who are in state of denial. Or maybe I can take comfort in knowing that now they realize ,but just keep quiet about, the damage xwh caused his own children and me. Do they really get it now? I know I shouldn't be concerned, it's just that I still carry small resentment when people don't realize things or when I don't feel validated.
Also xbil is not a jerk; totally different personality than xwh. One day during this last summer visit, xbil took my girls (his nieces) to a fun day in big city. This is something their own father would never do, he's too selfish. That's just an example. I feel sorry for him, but I won't be reaching out, that isn't my place.

Just wanted to rant. Thanks for reading.


Posts: 4715 | Registered: Dec 2009
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, August 14th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a bunch of sick fucks who are in state of denial.
he can't face what he did now seeing his brother in so much emotional pain, and he has zero conscious self awareness so he was acting out in other ways- a type of projection, by being extra mean to me
It sounds like you have a pretty good idea on the thought patterns of these idiots. I can't imagine having to lie to myself all the time about my behavior just so I could tolerate myself. I do think at some point it finally gets to them, because I just talked with my XMIL and she told me the WS was living in a tiny trailer with his new live in love and they were both depressed, neither one working, she is on disability, and it stinks so bad in there that XMIL wouldn't even eat a meal with them. I think the rot inside of him is finally overflowing and contaminating his surroundings in very real, tangible ways.

I am sure the guilt that yours has (especially about what he did to his children thru all this) will eventually rot him from the inside out also. You can't deny it and push it down forever......


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15288 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
yewtree
♀ Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, August 14th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because blood is thicker than morals, and we tend to defend our family.

My former SIL's exh left hr for another woman and we all sided with her.

My exh left me for another woman and they all sided with him.

Family sticks together.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4692 | Registered: Oct 2007
Topic Posts: 3

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