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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 100 steps back in our marriage. Heartbroken today.
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Helpless  Posted: 2:34 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right now I am just too upset to go into details. At this point I believe I am staying. But HL knows that my mind is not made up. Up and down all night with nightmares. He crossed major boundaries at his job. I am devastated. He is going back to IC. I will be back later.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4842 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Sending you strength and hugs.

(((((tiredgirl)))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7387 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Tired girl)) tears for you. I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.
Hugs


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4896 | Registered: Dec 2010
Allornothing
♀ Member
Member # 42354
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TG)))


Me- BS 43
Him- FWH 43
Married 19 years, Together 26
Kids- 23,21,15,14
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant

Posts: 181 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ohhhh honey no. I'm just so sorry.

We're here for you. (((tg)))


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17251 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TG)))

Posts: 35084 | Registered: Mar 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, tg, nothing but hugs. ((((((((tg))))))))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9633 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) I'm so very sorry.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4785 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tg)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10048 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tg)))

I'm sorry, that's really awful!! I have to say I'm a bit stunned by this, so I can't imagine how you must feel!


Posts: 11658 | Registered: Mar 2008
Teach8
♀ Member
Member # 36521
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TG))). I am so sorry. I know just how you feel. After 2 years of R my wh chose to delete texts on his phone. I'm heartbroken too. So so sorry!! You aren't alone.


Me: BW. Him: WH. Dday: 4/26/12. TT until 8/15/12 LTA 7 years. Trying to R

Posts: 506 | Registered: Aug 2012
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crap, I am sending you all the strength I can.

(((TG)))


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2796 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{TiGi}}}


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7996 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
BlueinStLou
♀ Member
Member # 44416
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry. (((TG)))

Strength to you. I wish I had better words of wisdom.


DDay1 3/26/2014
DDay2 4/15/2014
DDay 3 7/15/2014

Me BS 40
WH 39

3 Kids, 9, 4 and 1


Posts: 135 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: St Louis MO
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hl decided to walk right up to the line that I had established in our M and stick a toe if not a whole foot over that line. I am sick today, I can't stop crying. I thought we were over this. I guess not. I don't consider him to have cheated, but it was as close as I care to get. I shook for two hours after getting up this morning. I just don't know. I want to stay, but I don't know if I have it in me again.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4842 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did he come to you with this info? Did he realize what he had done and express remorse/decide on IC himself? I'm so sorry.
The nightmares and and shaking mean you're traumatized and I'm so sad you're living with that again...


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4896 | Registered: Dec 2010
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((tiredgirl))))


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8663 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
NoMorDeceit
♀ Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((TG)))) I'm sorry.

I understand about boundary violations. It sucks.

Hang in there. Maybe this will be the "key" to him getting it and getting those boundaries iron-clad...kwim?

I am glad he is going back to IC.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 518 | Registered: Apr 2009
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry.

Take the time you need to decide. Be good to yourself , your growth hasn't been wasted, the work you have done will help you through this.
(((Hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3800 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
brkn_heartd
♀ Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((TG)) Sending you support. I understand the boundary push....I have been there. I also struggled with my next steps when it happened. Only you can decide how you should handle it. Take your time.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1591 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Topic Posts: 190
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