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User Topic: Ferguson Missouri
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks and no worries, TR.
One develops a thick skin over time.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6440 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I agree...conversations like this are very interesting and greatly needed at higher levels.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6440 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One develops a thick skin over time.

I would never judge you by the thickness of your skin


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21098 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would never judge you by the thickness of your skin

Are you calling me fat?!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6440 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD posted this article on FB. It is excellent, in my opinion.

I don't think it is political. Is racism political? No politicians or political parties are talked about at all.

http://qz.com/250701/12-things-white-people-can-do-now-because-ferguson/

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 1:22 PM, August 19th (Tuesday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9642 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gaby, regarding your Waffle House story - I worked in a chain restaurant while I was in college. One day our hostess, who was a white girl who happened to be dating a black man, walked into the kitchen and just started screaming. Everyone wanted to know what happened. She said she had just seated a couple of women, and as she was walking off, they told her, "Make sure we don't get a colored server." (I feel like a huge bitch even repeating that). The server was already on his way out to the table - and he just so happened to be a young black man. So the manager intercepted him and sent another server out. And what struck me is that all of the white servers there that day were absolutely OUTRAGED. We were surprised, shocked, angry. We wanted those ladies kicked out. The black servers there that day? They shrugged, rolled their eyes, and said, "Whatever." They were used to it. We were not.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6724 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are you calling me fat?

Hey, if the shoe doesn't fit ...


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21098 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
Jeaniegirl
♀ Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seems this is a financially rewarding time for the shooter and his family. I won't post the link but over $26,000 has been collected for the shooter in two days. I found it when I was looking for a link to donate to the murder victim's family for burial expenses.


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 979 | Registered: Feb 2005
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And what struck me is that all of the white servers there that day were absolutely OUTRAGED. We were surprised, shocked, angry. We wanted those ladies kicked out. The black servers there that day? They shrugged, rolled their eyes, and said, "Whatever." They were used to it. We were not.
Wow....
Unfortunately we are used to it (and we shouldn't have to be).
Another angle with confronting the issue- often when we do speak out, we're seen as "angry black people". Well wouldn't YOU be angry in the same situation?


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6440 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

often when we do speak out, we're seen as "angry black people". Well wouldn't YOU be angry in the same situation?

Oh, absolutely.

I read something the other day - barriers are often invisible to those who don't face them.

That's why some people see feminists who are upset over things like rape culture and wage inequality as hysterical and angry. They don't see the barriers.

That was such a small example, I'm sure, of discrimination, but for once, the white servers in that restaurant - most of us fairly privileged college students - saw the barriers that our black coworkers (who were also fairly privileged college students) faced so often that they didn't even have the energy to get angry about it anymore.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6724 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Jeaniegirl
♀ Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I fully practice the right to boycott businesses who discriminate on the basis of color and sexual orientation. Word gets around so we know who they are.


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 979 | Registered: Feb 2005
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought the Redskins had a nice gesture pre-game last night. All the defensive backs came out of the tunnel in a tribute to Michael Brown.
Tred, I don't watch football, but after work, I'll definitely take a look at your link.

Thanks for sharing!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6440 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another angle with confronting the issue- often when we do speak out, we're seen as "angry black people". Well wouldn't YOU be angry in the same situation?

Since I have been discriminated against (overcharged by a factor of 10) as a white person in a non-white country I'd have so say yes! When I figured it out, I was angry.

[This message edited by TrulyReconciled at 3:46 PM, August 19th (Tuesday)]


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21098 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It helps us to know about institutional bigotry. Personally, I refuse to shop at certain places, buy certain things because of their practices. Awareness helps us make choices. Those choices can effect change.
As a young woman with a Jewish surname I was told which towns to not bother applying when I sent out my teaching credentials. As a clerk in a retail store I quickly removed the surname from my name tag. I am not Jewish, and don't "look" Jewish, but I'm proud of my heritage. However, the nasty comments were intolerable especially to a 16 year old.
Racism exists. To deny that is plain dumb. Actively working against and speaking out against it are our only tools.

[This message edited by scaredyKat at 4:45 PM, August 19th (Tuesday)]


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3531 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Racism exists. To deny that is plain dumb. Actively working against and speaking out against it are our only tools

Agreed. Until we get to judging a person by the content of their character and not the color of their skin/sexual orientation/sex/mental acuity, bigotry will exist.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2822 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Jeaniegirl
♀ Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I live by this: "To remain silent is to assume you agree."

I speak up with words and actions.


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 979 | Registered: Feb 2005
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First, thank you for everyone who has posted on this thread. I think it is incredibly brave and necessary to have this discussion. I wish it were being held in more places. I see a lot of honesty and restraint and respect being voiced. Again, thank you.

TR, your list of things that can be done, the work of it, I think is spot on. Much harder to do, and as you said, not something that can be done in one generation even. How do we confront or combat this issue?

I do it by stepping outside of my comfort zone. I enter these conversations. I challenge my own perceptions and those of my students.

I work in a school system that is largely rural. Not inner city. However, there is a large drug issue in the area. (Nationally recounted drug busts on a regular basis.) There is a documented gang issue. There is an unemployment rate double the national average. Our school system (an institution) regularly collects and analyzes data on how we discipline children. An issue of disproportionately referring minority students for behaviors was noted for three years running and the system took action by educating teachers about cultural differences, by clearly and regularly communicating expectations to all students, by having these types of discussions with adults, and students in the school system. A task force formed, schools had site based efforts, more data, and re-evaluation to see if improvement. The why? and HOW do we change it? Now we are talking disproportionate in very small percentage points (in some cases less than 1) but the three year trend made any percentage point unacceptable. Maybe this issue in my own backyard makes the Ferguson issue feel more relevant to me.

I hope that these conversations continue to happen and that while caution is used, fear (of saying the wrong thing) doesn't keep us mute. I hope that the human race can find common ground and move forward. I see tolerance more often than I might expect, but not as often as I would wish.

The intentional and deliberate hate cast by someone who is just flat out going to hate is awful, but those voices I believe will be drowned out. It is the careless hurt that comes from a failure to pay attention or to take the moment to think or to even KNOW that what is said is hurtful or wrong... that is where I think the work can be done. Bring the empathy out in those who are capable of it by shining the light.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope that these conversations continue to happen and that while caution is used, fear (of saying the wrong thing) doesn't keep us mute. I hope that the human race can find common ground and move forward. I see tolerance more often than I might expect, but not as often as I would wish.

^^^ This ^^^

It's absolutely normal to have reactions to differences such as race. As human beings hopefully seeking enlightenment, we have to learn to recognize these reactions in ourselves, learn to be more accepting and even laugh at ourselves a bit.

Hate, on the other hand, is learned. It is passed down from groups and parents generation- by-generation, and takes on a life of its own. That, we can do something about.


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21098 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
whensitover
♀ Member
Member # 31207
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UPDATE: Fox News Reports
Lots of good info for those following:

Darren Wilson, the Ferguson, Mo., police officer whose fatal shooting of Michael Brown touched off more than a week of demonstrations, suffered severe facial injuries, including an orbital (eye socket) fracture, and was nearly beaten unconscious by Brown moments before firing his gun, a source close to the department's top brass told FoxNews.com.

“The Assistant (Police) Chief took him to the hospital, his face all swollen on one side,” said the insider. “He was beaten very severely.”

According to the well-placed source, Wilson was coming off another case in the neighborhood on Aug. 9 when he ordered Michael Brown and his friend Dorain Johnson to stop walking in the middle of the road because they were obstructing traffic. However, the confrontation quickly escalated into physical violence, the source said..

“They ignored him and the officer started to get out of the car to tell them to move," the source said. "They shoved him right back in, that’s when Michael Brown leans in and starts beating Officer Wilson in the head and the face.

The source claims that there is "solid proof" that there was a struggle between Brown and Wilson for the policeman’s firearm, resulting in the gun going off – although it still remains unclear at this stage who pulled the trigger. Brown started to walk away according to the account, prompting Wilson to draw his gun and order him to freeze. Brown, the source said, raised his hands in the air, and turned around saying, "What, you're going to shoot me?"

At that point, the source told FoxNews.com, the 6 foot, 4 inch, 292-pound Brown charged Wilson, prompting the officer to fire at least six shots at him, including the fatal bullet that penetrated the top of Brown's skull, according to an independent autopsy conducted at the request of Brown's family.

Wilson suffered a fractured eye socket in the fracas, and was left dazed by the initial confrontation, the source said. He is now "traumatized, scared for his life and his family, injured and terrified" that a grand jury, which began hearing evidence on Wednesday, will "make some kind of example out of him," the source said.

The source also said the dashboard and body cameras, which might have recorded crucial evidence, had been ordered by Ferguson Police Chief Thomas Jackson, but had only recently arrived and had not yet been deployed.

St. Louis County police, who have taken over the investigation, did not return requests for comment about possible injuries suffered by Wilson.

Edward Magee, spokesman for St. Louis County Prosecutor Robert McCullough, said the office will not disclose the nature of the evidence it will reveal to a grand jury.

"We'll present every piece of evidence we have, witness statements, et cetera, to the grand jury, and we do not release any evidence or talk about evidence on the case."

Nabil Khattar, CEO of 7Star Industries – which specializes in firearms training for law enforcement and special operations personnel – confirmed that police are typically instructed to use deadly force if in imminent danger of being killed or suffering great bodily injury.

“You may engage a threat with enough force that is reasonably necessary to defend against that danger,” he said.

Wilson is a six-year veteran of the Ferguson police force department, and has no prior disciplinary infringements.

Massive protests have since taken over the St. Louis community, prompting Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon last Thursday to place Highway Patrol Capt. Ron Johnson at the helm of security operations in an effort to calm ongoing tensions. The federal government is also investigating the death, and Attorney General Eric Holder has taken the lead – calling “the selective release of sensitive information” in the case “troubling.”

On Friday, Ferguson police released surveillance video showing Brown stealing cigars from a convenience store just before his death. Jackson came under intense criticism for disclosing the tape and a related police report as he also insisted that the alleged robbery and the encounter with Wilson were unrelated matters. Brown’s family, through their attorney, suggested the tape’s release was a strategic form of “character assassination.”

However, FoxNews.com’s source insisted that there was absolutely no spin agenda behind the tape’s release and that there were a number of Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) media requests filed by media outlets seeking it. Tom Jackson is said to have waited on publicly releasing it, and did not want it shown until Brown’s grieving mother first had the chance to see it.

“He defied the FOIAs as long as he could,” noted the insider. “A powerful, ugly spin has completely ruined public discourse on this whole situation.”


Posts: 449 | Registered: Feb 2011
KeepCalm_CarryOn
♀ Member
Member # 33374
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry. I've read this thread several times. it's an amazing discussion. So many interesting and intelligent comments. I stepped away when I saw the Fox News update.

Please remember all new sources have their own bias. The facts are seemingly still very up in the air.


You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.

Me- BW, 28
Him- fWh, 34
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August


Posts: 2021 | Registered: Sep 2011
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