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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Ever wish they would just fall off a cliff?
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not in a "I hate your guts and want you to die a painful death" kind of way (though I have been there in the past too), but more in a "you are an ongoing nuisance in my life that I just don't want to deal with anymore." I find myself thinking that about XPOS a lot lately. He is truly the cockroach that is forever pestering me. Not maliciously, just a pest.

We, unfortunately, still have a lot of interaction, primarily involving DS. I can push it often a few days in between contact, but that is about it. We have to meet up regularly to attend meetings together as well as exchange documents. I don't let him come to my home (I don't want him there, nor does DD17) and I usually just stop by his house. I was there Saturday night. I feel like my conversations are back to when we were M and I was walking on eggshells, always trying to keep the peace. I don't have much of a choice because we have to work together regarding DS, but it truly sucks.

He was living out of state until March, when he moved back. I could breath with him out of the area. Now I am stressed with him back again, on top of the emotional stress of family tragedies. He feels the need to update me on the paternity suit of OW when I couldn't care less. I don't respond. He is a hypochondriac and I get to hear all about his current ailments. I don't respond. I get to hear about all the problems in his life. I don't respond. I get to hear about how DD17 doesn't interact with him or even say "thanks" for things he does for her. I told him with regard to that not to feel special as she is a typical teen and treats everyone that way (that is 75% true, with the remaining 25% simply that she wants nothing to do with him). Overall, he is a real downer at a time when I am trying to pick myself up. Unfortunately, he sprinkles these comments into our legitimate convos. I don't smile, laugh, or encourage him in any way, but he has burned so many bridges he doesn't have anyone else to talk to so he feels I am fair game I guess. It really doesn't bother me, except that it is just depressing hearing all his negativity. But he has always been that way. I enjoyed being away from it when he was living out of state, and now it is back.

I am not adversarial because we have too many unresolved issues regarding DS that we need to work through as parents, and creating strife will only make that much worse (BTDT). It is a matter of picking my battles, and I need to keep the peace with him as he 'could' create me monumental headaches if he wanted to. So far he hasn't, but that is because I am back to walking on eggshells.

So, most days I find myself wishing he would just fall off a cliff and go away, taking the eggshells with him...

Anyone else feel that way about your ex?


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1107 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix)))) I understand, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25343 | Registered: Aug 2011
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every. single. day.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. Bye bye Wylie E. Coyote. The only second thought I have is wondering what's best for the kids. They're still at an age where they need their Dad.

I think every BS who's wondered "I gave WS what they wanted, why are they bothering me?" feels the same way to one extent or another.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1764 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Short answer? YES.

(((hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5821 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix)))

Oh, heck, yeah. Every quarter when I pay the life insurance premium, I hope it's the last time I have to make a payment before collecting.

(And I'm only joking a little. Hell, no, not at all. The sooner he dies, the less damage done to my kids. There's no possibility of rapprochement or peace, so it's best he just falls off that proverbial cliff before he finds a way to demonstrate even more, to them, how little he cares.)

[This message edited by solus sto at 4:11 PM, August 18th (Monday)]


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8687 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes!!!!


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5083 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely!
((( Phoenix1 )))


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6443 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. With just a little guilt because my kids should have a dad.

Although, after he moved out and I asked the kids if they were okay, they responded, "It's not much different. He was hardly ever home anyway."



D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 459 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, August 18th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not in a "I hate your guts and want you to die a painful death" kind of way (though I have been there in the past too), but more in a "you are an ongoing nuisance in my life that I just don't want to deal with anymore."

I still feel both. I find I don't have QUITE as much anger over the infidelity and emotional abuse - but, dude, it's still there - but I'm really pissed about how she's treating my kids. I say "my" kids because I don't know how anyone could seemingly care so little about their own kids, so they're fucking mine.

Yep, waiting for that cliff.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1927 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Violated
♀ Member
Member # 21239
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The day after my last support payment would be fine with me


Divorced 10/2013

Posts: 542 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: West Coast
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At first I did. A cliff would be great. Now I hope he lives at least long enough to suffer the consequences of his selfishness and then fall off the cliff

Posts: 266 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix))))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
betrayedpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 43304
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

no i never wish they were dead. I just want them to wish that they were dead.

Posts: 236 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Hawaii
Topic Posts: 14

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