Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: 4ever2gether (45763)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wife heard from the other betrayed spouse
sorrowfulmate
♂ Member
Member # 43441
Default  Posted: 5:25 AM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After sending two letters to my LTAP's BS he finally contacted my wife last night.

Lots of different feelings but the one that is getting to me is that OBS has become a real person to me.

Instead of someone who was mentioned by my LTAP he became flesh and blood, a real man, with a life, and kids.

He told my wife that him and his wife are separated. It happened before he got her letter, but he said that her letter confirmed that he couldn't stay married to her.

Lots of different feelings on my part right now. When I heard my wife read his texts to me I wanted to apologize to him. He said he doesn't think too highly of me (I don't feel to highly of myself right now either) and Its not time for that.

Many of you know I am back in a 12 step program, so when I get to the appropriate point in my program I will send him a letter apologizing for my part in the destruction of his marriage.

I know I am not the only reason why they have split, but I am one of the reasons and right now I feel terrible about it. Today it was proven again about how terrible the destruction of infidelity is.

I am proud of my wife for reaching out to him. It was the right thing to do.


Me-WS 50
Her-BS 50 Questioningall
5 kids
Dday 1 12/12
Dday 2 - 3/14 EAs, 2 ONS, 1 LTA
TT until 7/14 when I gave a timeline
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BW Roberts

Posts: 242 | Registered: May 2014
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 6:22 AM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sorrowful...

It sounds like you and your wife are facing things together, as a team. That's really powerful and even though hurt feelings are at the surface, be proud of the steps you've made


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198880 | Registered: May 2002
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, August 19th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And now the waiting for the unknown is over. Stay strong. Congrats to you both.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 843 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
sorrowfulmate
♂ Member
Member # 43441
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The last couple of days have been emotional. Today its been more "Existing" than anything. Waiting for the day to end.

Probably just getting dealing with the emotional strain of the contact by the OBS.


Me-WS 50
Her-BS 50 Questioningall
5 kids
Dday 1 12/12
Dday 2 - 3/14 EAs, 2 ONS, 1 LTA
TT until 7/14 when I gave a timeline
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BW Roberts

Posts: 242 | Registered: May 2014
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

when I get to the appropriate point in my program I will send him a letter apologizing for my part in the destruction of his marriage.
Only if it won't cause further hurt, right?

It's okay to be flat for a day or two, then you have to get back up and start living again.


Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
sorrowfulmate
♂ Member
Member # 43441
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, August 21st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

True, I have to remember that part of it.


Me-WS 50
Her-BS 50 Questioningall
5 kids
Dday 1 12/12
Dday 2 - 3/14 EAs, 2 ONS, 1 LTA
TT until 7/14 when I gave a timeline
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BW Roberts

Posts: 242 | Registered: May 2014
caspers1wish
♀ Member
Member # 28720
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, August 21st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's totally normal to feel emotionally drained from the day, for both of you. It's a cycle, the weight and dread, feeling flat because of emotional overload, and you'll find in a few days, you'll start to feel better now that the weight has lifted and you've had time to process. I hope you all take time to just be gentle with each other and proud that you were a team in this.


Me - FWW (35)
Him - BH (34)
Kids - Ages 6, 8, 10
Married 13 years, together 18 years.
Last D-Day - November 2008

Posts: 805 | Registered: Jun 2010
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum: Wayward Side Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.