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Newest Member: LoveBetrayed (45355)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: saying no to a second date
karen49
♀ Member
Member # 18234
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am fine with going out with someone that somebody thinks would be a good match for me.The problem is how do you say no thanks after you have met them,especially since it is someone that you know, friend?

Posts: 308 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: east coast
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I pretend it's mutual. At the end of the date, if I'm clearly not feeling it, I just friend zone the guy.

"Oh man, that crazy Karen, she's sweet for trying to set us up. I really enjoyed chatting with you, and I can definitely see where she was coming from, because I think we're going to be great friends, but we'll just have to let her down gently tomorrow on the dating thing." etc.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with ama. Personally, I find this the most unpleasant thing about dating, yet I have done it dozens of times, so I am getting practice at it.

Never lie ("I met someone else," "I'm just not ready to date") because you want to live authentically and also there's a chance you could get caught in a lie and hurt his feelings worse.

Pretending it's mutual is great -- otherwise I just say something like, "I'm sorry that we weren't a match, but I wish you the best of luck in finding a fabulous lady!"


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3406 | Registered: Dec 2011
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, August 29th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It helped me to keep in mind the guy is a grown man and can take it. People appreciate you being straight forward so they don't waste time wondering. Kindness in choice of words is enough.

Thanks for the date. I don't feel we are a romantic match but I wish you the best in your search.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5859 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, August 29th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It helped me to keep in mind the guy is a grown man and can take it. People appreciate you being straight forward so they don't waste time wondering. Kindness in choice of words is enough.

Thanks for the date. I don't feel we are a romantic match but I wish you the best in your search.

^^^This. Be straight forward. I know I appreciated when a woman told me she was not interested. We are all supposed to be adults so treat them like you want to be treated. If he wasn't interested in you wouldn't you want him to be upfront as well instead of wasting your time?


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1912 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Topic Posts: 5

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