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If you cant say something nice - make it funny

trying1 posted 6/3/2017 07:05 AM

I planted a garden a few weeks ago (yay me). I looked out and saw some things that needed to be done. I thought, "I need a hoe", and before I could stop myself I thought, "Ex has a ho, I should ask if I could use his".

There has been so little humor about my life in the last few years. just had to share...yes my sense of humor might be a little off.

I.will.survive posted 6/3/2017 07:19 AM

It's awesome that made you laugh!!

minusone posted 6/3/2017 07:55 AM

Thanks for the laug

However...if you use that ho... it will contaminate the soil...and there goes your garden.

trying1 posted 6/3/2017 12:32 PM

However...if you use that ho... it will contaminate the soil...and there goes your garden

ROFL - hadn't thought of it that way. Maybe they could come have their wedding in my back yard on Tuesday, and that shit show might make my grass greener. Then at least their relationship will finally benefit me. Alas - probably not. He would then take credit for the grass in my yard being greener.

[This message edited by trying1 at 2:08 PM, June 3rd (Saturday)]

thatbpguy posted 6/3/2017 13:16 PM

Now that was funny!

BrokenheartedUK posted 6/3/2017 15:19 PM

WornDown posted 6/3/2017 17:45 PM

"Ex has a ho, I should ask if I could use his".

That's some funny stuff right there!

SallyShrink81 posted 6/3/2017 18:47 PM

My ex and mistress were coworkers at a hardware store. Pretty sure they had jokes about her being his hoe! And being nailed and caulk and vacuous others.

I think I got the last laugh because I'm not with his NPD ass anymore.

"If a woman steals your husband, she might as well steal your shoes too, because one day she'll be walking in them." #karma

Sad in AZ posted 6/4/2017 01:56 AM

This has nothing to do with infidelity.

Years ago, the X, DS and I went camping at a national monument with my cousin, her husband and daughter. At night, the rangers gave presentations in an amphitheater.

The night we were there, they had a fire jumper give a presentation (wildland firefighter). The firefigher explained that her tool was the hoe, and the forest service provided a 'pimp' to carry the tool for her.

It was a rather harrowing presentation, and at the end, she had a little girl from the audience come up and get dressed in the gear that the firefighter used. The poor kid almost collapsed from the weight of the equipment, and my cousin yelled out, "Get her a pimp!" We both laughed so hard, we fell off our benches. We almost got thrown out of the park

lilies21 posted 6/5/2017 08:12 AM

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