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Should I get tested for Sexually Transmited Diseases?

Jimmy1962 posted 9/13/2017 04:46 AM

My wife had an affair 20 years ago that I just found out about (purely sex, she did not love him, lucky me!) with a player that was married at the time, he had a ex-wife, and he played the field full time weather he was married or not. My wife had unprotected sex with him the first time. (she said he was clean, however he did not shower before or after they had sex, I guess she meant there were no large clumps of dirt stuck to him) So, my question is, after 20 years of not knowing, should I get tested now? I still have my penis, it has not fell off or anything! If I had something wouldn't I know it by now. I do not want to be tested if I do not need to.

RoadtoPerdition posted 9/13/2017 04:59 AM

Your story gave me goosebumps. Especially the bit about how the Prozac opened the door to the discovery 20 years later. I think it doesn't hurt to get tested but then like you say, you have been symptom free for decades so the screening might be little more than a formality.

I hope you don't mind my saying so, but it appears there is a certain amount of rugsweeping going on with you being so focused on proving to your wife that you love her and worrying that you weren't communicative at the time of the affair which suggests you feel it stemmed from your shortcomings. It sounds like you haven't even scraped the surface of what has happened to you and you are quickly taking the shortest route to reconciliation. Please tread carefully.

NoMercy posted 9/13/2017 05:31 AM

Make HER ass go to the doctor/clinic for a full scale STD screening. She's the one who was stupid enough to risk your health, so let HER go get tested.

And tell her to make sure she gets tested for EVERYTHING, even a hangnail.

Let her be humiliated.

She earned it.

Jimmy1962 posted 9/13/2017 06:11 AM

Make HER ass go to the doctor/clinic for a full scale STD screening. She's the one who was stupid enough to risk your health, so let HER go get tested.
And tell her to make sure she gets tested for EVERYTHING, even a hangnail.
Let her be humiliated.
She earned it.

I agree!
She has been to the doctor over the years and they have done regular PAP Tests. Would that show anything?

[This message edited by Jimmy1962 at 6:14 AM, September 13th (Wednesday)]

Bigger posted 9/13/2017 06:43 AM

JimmyÖ
You are pain-shopping.

If your weenie is of a comparable complexion as you are and if you donít experience the pain of peeing glass then there isnít any need for STD testing and you know itÖ

Western posted 9/13/2017 06:48 AM

I agree with Bigger

Jimmy1962 posted 9/13/2017 07:06 AM

JimmyÖ
You are pain-shopping.
If your weenie is of a comparable complexion as you are and if you donít experience the pain of peeing glass then there isnít any need for STD testing and you know itÖ

Bigger & Western
I know absolutely nothing about STD's.
I read somewhere that one type of STD causes warts on your hands. Well I have one wart on my thumb. I always thought that you got warts from frogs and I have not touched a frog since I was very young. I told my wife that, and she does not want me to touch her genitals with the hand with the wart.
I have read that actor Michael Douglas got throat cancer from oral sex.
I am not pain shopping, I am concerned.

FreeAsABird posted 9/13/2017 07:08 AM

Some STDs lurk underneath showing no symptoms. PAP smears do not test for everything. I say make her go get tested for everything.

tushnurse posted 9/13/2017 07:36 AM

Nurse here who has dealt with STD's in folks in ways you cannot imagine.

You both need to be tested for the big ones. HIV and Hepatitis. This is done with a routine blood draw. They can also test for some other diseases with a cheek swab. Please look at "Free STD testing" for your area, on Google. Most major cities have grants and research studies that you are blinded and tested for free. 100% confidential. Don't have to see your own Dr.
Hepatitis can be an ugly bastard that can lie dormant for decades, and then kill you. Get tested.
HPV cannot be tested in men, unless you have an outbreak, and if you did you would know.
HSV (herpes) can be tested for again by blood or swab. Again it's a lurker, and you can have it and never have an outbreak.

The thing is cheaters lie. We all know that here. So No MATTER what your cheating spouse tells you, each and every BS here should do 2 things. Get Tested, and see a lawyer. Period.
Do It it gives you knowledge, a sense of peace, and allows you to take back some control.

((((And Strength)))

sinsof thefather posted 9/13/2017 10:42 AM

I am not pain shopping, I am concerned.
Exactly why the testing needs to be done. Don't you have enough on your plate without having this niggling away in the back of your mind? The complexion of your penis and not peeing glass are not reliable means of STD testing.

Dismayed2012 posted 9/13/2017 10:58 AM

Given the lifestyle of the fellow that your wife chose to hook-up with, I'd be highly surprised if she wasn't carrying something. He's the type of person that you read about spreading disease and destruction over entire communities of whores.

Listen to 'tushnurse'. Ask for the entire regimen of testing and specifically, herpes. Herpes testing wasn't part of the regular STD test when I went to get tested.

If your wife is clean then you should be clean.

Hawke posted 9/13/2017 11:03 AM

Syphilis can lay dormant for decades. For your health, you should get tested, and your wife should, too.

Where I live, there are free sexual health clinics, which is an option for people who want to get tested, but don't want to go to their own doctor.

BJE49 posted 9/14/2017 02:56 AM

Jimmy1962, I don't have a clue why you even bothered to come here to ask, if you are so concerned then just do it, also make your wife do it too, especially as you don't know a thing about STDs, talking to someone with medical knowledge should have been your first port of call not us!

Regards BJE49

Jesusismyanchor posted 9/14/2017 21:15 PM

Yes, if only for peace of mind. I don't think it is helpful to give you a hard time. I don't think they would do this to a female. You need support like anyone else that had been betrayed. Get the test and do should she is she hasn't. Better to be sure

Jesusismyanchor posted 9/14/2017 21:19 PM

I want to add something. I think being betrayed years ago is still very hard! On my Dday in 2016 found out my H also Betrayed me 12 years ago too. Years of lying! Years of me not knowing what my life had really been. We had 3 kids together and We lived life and now the memories are so hard. It is different than the recent one. It is still very painful. For what it is worth, I understand.

234empty posted 9/15/2017 04:27 AM

Hawke, if Syphilis can be dormant for years then when tested will it show up as positive but nonactive?

BJE49, Your statement was kinda harsh IMO. Everyone has a right to post here and ask any question and be able to do so without being judged or bullied. This should feel like a safe place to come especially for the newly betrayed.

[This message edited by 234empty at 4:46 AM, September 15th (Friday)]

Bigger posted 9/15/2017 04:34 AM

Jimmny

Your wifeís infidelity was about 20 years ago.
Yes, I know YOU only found out recently and therefore the pain is new for you.
But 20 years agoÖ

Letís imagine your test reveals a dormant strain of syphilis.
Unless you were both confirmed virgins when you two got married then the test wonít tell you anything about who brought that baby home.
Could have been your first or last partner pre-marriage. After all Ė itís dormant.

I agree with Hawke that this post really has no purpose. This is one of those things you can deal with ASAP and thereby your worries are over. But the ONLY result a STD test will really give you is if you are clean or not. It wonít tell you where you got a possible bug from.

Hawke posted 9/15/2017 12:55 PM

Hawke, if Syphilis can be dormant for years then when tested will it show up as positive but nonactive?

I don't know. I just read a story by the neurologist, Oliver Sacks, who treated a woman who had contracted it as a young woman, but her symptoms didn't appear until she was in her golden years.

5454real posted 9/15/2017 13:19 PM

Jimmy, get tested. It's the quickest easiest way to lay all this to rest. You don't even have to tell your doctor why. Just tell them you would like to pay for a full panel of STI testing. He honestly doesn't have to know the reason. If he pushes, tell him for my peace of mind.

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