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Support Groups

NoLongerAlive posted 9/13/2017 22:57 PM

I finally got an email tonight from someone who coordinates a local BAN support group...it took weeks to get a response. I had to provide some basic information about my situation then she should allow me access to the group. I really need the support from other people in real time, face to face. I don't have anyone I can talk to besides my psychologist and psychiatrist and their views on how I should handle my WH and our marriage are the complete opposite.

I am also going to my first Divorce Care meeting tomorrow night. I tried to go last week but my WH was home and I knew he would get upset if he knew where I was going and it's hard for me to lie, even if it's a little white lie that does no harm.

Next week I have an appointment with an intake counselor for domestic violence to see if I am a good fit for an abuse support group. This was something my psychiatrist told me I need to do as he believes I have been emotionally and psychologically abused by my WH. I tend to agree but I don't know that I should be in a group like this. I guess the intake counselor will decide that.

It will be so helpful, but sad, to meet and connect with other people who are struggling with similar issues. I haven't been able to work for months due to medical issues and lost all of the mutual friends I had with WH so I have had minimal human contact with the exception of WH since D-day.

freetogonow posted 9/13/2017 23:15 PM

Sounds like you are plugging in wherever you can. I just came from a divorce care meeting and it was awesome.

TwiceWounded posted 9/14/2017 10:14 AM

NLA--I found my local S-Anon group to be incredibly helpful. Some days there can be a lot of negativity and hurt in the room, but generally it's SO NICE to be in a room full of people who understand the exact feelings you are having, and can relate.

It will help make you a stronger person. Really.

Good luck. Hang in there.

thatbpguy posted 9/14/2017 10:39 AM

I am also going to my first Divorce Care meeting tomorrow night. I tried to go last week but my WH was home and I knew he would get upset if he knew where I was going and it's hard for me to lie, even if it's a little white lie that does no harm.

Why lie? Just tell him to his face. He needs to hear it. If he doesn't like, he can leave.

Next week I have an appointment with an intake counselor for domestic violence to see if I am a good fit for an abuse support group. This was something my psychiatrist told me I need to do as he believes I have been emotionally and psychologically abused by my WH. I tend to agree but I don't know that I should be in a group like this. I guess the intake counselor will decide that.

Another reason to wonder why you are still there.

NoLongerAlive posted 9/14/2017 20:04 PM


Why lie? Just tell him to his face. He needs to hear it. If he doesn't like, he can leave.

You are totally right, thanks for reminding me. And at this point I am staying mostly because of ongoing medical issues that started last year and I have been on short term medical leave from work since late April but now I am not receiving ANY PAY because the company that manages our disability is horrible. I earned about 10% more than WH up to this point and now I don't know when/if I can go back to work. I just had to start over again with a new medication, the 4th I have tried in a year, to help manage the illness. The specialist was running 2 hours behind schedule when I finally saw him, I missed the Divorce Care meeting because of that. Nothing has been going my way. It will take 3 months to see if this new medication helps and hopefully it doesn't cause other major problems. So frustrated. If I was healthy, I think it would be so much easier to walk away at this point.

NoLongerAlive posted 9/14/2017 20:04 PM

EDIT...duplicate of my response above. Even my computer hates me.

[This message edited by NoLongerAlive at 8:06 PM, September 14th (Thursday)]

CharliB posted 9/14/2017 20:13 PM

When I was still living with him,I didn't tell my stbxh i was going to divorce care either. I just told him it was a Bible study group. It helped that one of my friends from Church was in it. You do study the Bible in it. I found it helpful. I still have friends from my second group that stay connected. We go for coffee, movies, breakfast, pool parties. Its good to stay connected.

NoLongerAlive posted 9/14/2017 20:15 PM

TwiceWounded, thanks for the suggestion. I never knew about S-Anon but looking at their website and having some new information and new concerns about WH, I think this is a good resource for me.

4kids posted 9/14/2017 22:00 PM

((Nolongeralive)))

I am in awe of you and you willingness to help yourself get through this.

I just wanted you to know that.

I send you all the strength I have to give you.

Strength. ❤

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