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The OW won't back off and I'm a little scared

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Tearsoflove posted 11/14/2017 17:49 PM

Change the password to your icloud account to something that includes upper case, lower case, numbers, and special characters. My icloud password is about 15 characters long.

If you are using a pet name, an important to you date, something to do with your daughter, etc., your husband may have given her just enough information about you to make it possible to guess. If you are using an actual word, there are programs that will do a dictionary style attack until they find the word. Change your password. A good way is to write down a favorite lyric in a favorite song:

Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night

Now, use the first letters of each word: BsItDoN
Now add a couple numbers: Number of family members: 3 Number of times you've gone to Disney: 2

add an exclamation point:
BSitDoN32!

You now have a very hard password to crack.

You can also use a phrase that has meaning:

That crazy bitch won't beat Me!

TcbwbM!

Change your passwords and delete your instagram account. Create an account that uses a different name: First and Middle, Middle and Last, Middle and Maiden, etc. and then private message any friends you want to see it. Make it private.

And, finally, post something new and special to your icloud account after the password is changed. If you get any messages to the new account that contain information that could only be obtained from your icloud or by knowing your new instagram, your husband is leaking information to her and they are not NC or a friend is a turncoat.

[This message edited by Tearsoflove at 5:50 PM, November 14th (Tuesday)]

sassylee posted 11/14/2017 22:48 PM

BSitDoN32!

I like that - think I found my new password!

Seriously though, what did the police advise?

Aggie2004 posted 11/15/2017 23:59 PM

So the officer was super nice and thorough. He took a report and said that it will get passed on to a detective who will probably want to interview me and obtain all the evidence that I have. He said most likely they'll start by questioning her over the phone and hopefully that will be enough to get her to back off. If it isn't, he thinks it would be easy enough for me to get a temporary protective order.

H was pretty livid when I told him. He did agree that him contacting her would only encourage her, so he said he'll let me/law enforcement handle it however I want to.

I of course couldn't resist pointing out that that he brought all this turmoil down on his family and he should feel terrible. The fact that he almost destroyed our lives and our kids' lives for someone so vile just blows my mind.

Bpulli posted 11/16/2017 03:48 AM

It's not hard to get address for anyone off the internet. I got OW address and printed a picture of her house to see if my H would recognize it.

LoveTKO posted 11/16/2017 12:20 PM

The fact that he almost destroyed our lives and our kids' lives for someone so vile just blows my mind.

Join the club!! The MOW in our case is vile too.. She lives in the same town (lucky me) and I've never heard ANYTHING positive about her. Disliked by most who know her. One friend told me that she is the exact opposite of me. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

I'm so glad you got the police involved. She is one sick puppy..

sassylee posted 11/16/2017 12:26 PM

Do you have any thoughts on how she got her hands on the pic of your daughter?

scorpio6 posted 11/16/2017 12:37 PM

I would get the personal protection order. You have already requested no contact several times, so you are justified to seek an anti-stalking order. With the protection order, if she makes any attempts at physical contact, you will ensure she leaves in handcuffs. Typically, the police will serve a personal protection order, so it can be a wake-up call to her that her activity could get her arrested. It could also be humiliating (if they serve her at work or in front of friends/family). Is she married? If so, does her spouse know?

Jorge posted 11/16/2017 12:37 PM


My ex-girlfriend harassed my then current girlfriend (now my wife) the same way for 2-months. We called the cops and provide them with x's phone number. An officer calls us back 2-days later and say's "I don't think you'll be hearing from her (the x) anymore". My x calls me back and say's she's done harassing my wife because the detective that called her was prepared to notify her employer and she didn't want to lose her job. That was that. Game over.

beauchateaux posted 11/16/2017 12:46 PM

Do you have any thoughts on how she got her hands on the pic of your daughter?

This would be the burning question on my mind, too...

I don't think you OR your H should be communicating with her directly anymore. She's cuckoo, and anything you say, she's going to just send a novel back about how it's all about her and what she deserves/needs/wants. This woman sounds extremely unstable, and she obviously can't be reasoned with - every time you try, she escalates to something even more disturbing.

Leave it to the police now. Stalking you and H was one thing, but bringing your child into it is WAY over the line. I hope she pisses herself when she gets that phone call from the officer.

Aggie2004 posted 11/16/2017 16:43 PM

I still don't know for sure how she got the photo. My gut tells me that she got into our iCloud. I scoured every device that we have, and that photo was ONLY on my phone. We don't share a photo stream/albums, I never sent it to H, actually never sent it to anyone.

She isn't married, though every fourth post on her Instagram she declares herself #wifeymaterial. Lol. I briefly contemplated sending everything to her mother (it took me two seconds to find her on Facebook) who seems like one of those super nice, conservative, southern moms. Most of her posts are religious in nature, or bragging about her "beautiful daughter." I'm sure she'd be pretty mortified to find out what kind of a person her daughter really is. I only stopped myself because her mom is innocent and it wouldn't be right to hurt her just to make myself feel better.

This is weird, but hearing about all the bat-shit crazy OW y'all have dealt with kind of makes me feel better. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but it's good to know it isn't just me.

OrdinaryDude posted 11/16/2017 17:50 PM

If you hear from her again, definitely drop the Mom bomb, but don't warn her or anything.

latebloomer45 posted 11/16/2017 18:19 PM

I don't know...the mom might be a crazy bitch too.

Ditto everything already said PLUS notify Instagram. That is so messed up.

I am a non violent person but every once in a while I hear of someone I'd like to take a baseball bat to. People who threaten small children are at the top of the list.

moralhighground posted 11/17/2017 15:36 PM

I agree with you that nothing good can come of getting Mom involved. God it is tempting sometimes to just go to everyone in their life and be like "Here's your friend, the psycho." But AP'll always get the last word in that narrative. In our case, OBS told AP's parents everything he could, and while it made AP plenty uncomfortable, the end result was that her parents were really hoping she just wouldn't go back to him. Actually... so was her therapist. So really it created a BETTER environment for the A, in her life.

She'll just tell everyone you're insane, and that you make your H miserable and that he can't leave because of the kids, and deny everything she did.

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