Return to Forum List

Return to New Beginnings

SurvivingInfidelity.com® > New Beginnings

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

What we want most

Lynrobroy posted 11/16/2017 17:27 PM

No idea who said it but this has always stuck with me.

"The greatest cause of misery in life is giving up what we want most for what we want right now."

No question my ex could relate if he was capable of self reflection, but I struggle with it too. The ex-hole was finally served, so I can get a court date tomorrow, yeah! I might actually be divorced before the new year.

But I am struggling. I am not sad really. I am totally annoyed with him trying to renegotiate and act like I somehow did him wrong. The problem is I am having a hard time doing what I know I need to.

I broke up with NB the day I filed and I know it was right. He has been basically hoovering every few days and it is hard to ignore. It would be so easy to jump back on OKC or Bumble and find a distraction, but I know that isn't best for me right now.

I promised myself I would spend now until the new year just refocusing on healing, but it sucks. I am not trying to be a martyr, I really don't think I should date right now. I feel like I absolutely use it as a distraction and that is not a good idea.

I don't mind being alone, in fact I need plenty of solitude, but I don't want to think about the divorce or all the reasons for it. I would so much rather go check out the new oyster bar, drink too much wine and go home and have even more fun.

SallyShrink81 posted 11/16/2017 19:28 PM

Ugh!! Yes Delay of gratification is a struggle for everyone on some level. Keep in mind the big picture and stay strong. You got this!!

I.will.survive posted 11/17/2017 05:29 AM

"The greatest cause of misery in life is giving up what we want most for what we want right now."

That's a good one!

And the one that sticks with me is:

Don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

Give yourself a little grace in the near future! You are making promises to yourself because you DO know the above quotes are true. But it doesn't mean you will always be denying yourself.

Sounds like your head is on straight. Just keep doing the next right thing based on your gut. It sounds like it's logical and going to serve you well.

yuvas posted 11/17/2017 06:21 AM

"The greatest cause of misery in life is giving up what we want most for what we want right now."

I have to run so canít comment in detail but wanted to counter this, I love stoicism as a philosophy and they believe that happiness comes from wanting what you have. Just a thought for you 😊

Return to Forum List

Return to New Beginnings

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.