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Thoughts of a Betrayed Husband in reconciliation

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demolishedinside posted 1/28/2018 20:37 PM

Thank you, nicenomore. It sounds to me as if your username no longer fits. Your reply was kind and appreciated more than you know.

I understand not mine anymore and public property. Exactly. Disgusting. I wish more people would choose integrity over immediate gratification. Sadly, Iím still working my way through. Betrayal is betrayal, no matter the gender.

nicenomore posted 1/28/2018 20:50 PM

Iím happy that my words brought you some comfort. My name should be changed to say nice no more... to those who donít deserve it.

I agree itís not a gender thing at all. Those feelings can be reciprocated in both directions, I can only speak for myself as a man. I expected my WW to give me the best, and after day, nothing short of giving me the world would work. She became disposable to me, and it was such a damn shame. And Iím sure the same can be said for you and your WH.

Some people can never really empathize with and humanize their WS again after betrayal... I was one one them.

[This message edited by nicenomore at 8:51 PM, January 28th (Sunday)]

WilliamM posted 1/28/2018 21:13 PM

For me what was once natural became work and what was once a joy became a chore. Anything genius before I was able to get to the point to appreciate my wife the way I want to appreciate her. Sex was something that I had to overcome emotionally because of the that lost connection. Because I could not separate her from her act of betrayal, we had to work to overcome my pain. Renewing our vows helped. It gave a freshness to our marriage. We still have issues but hopefully, 12 years out, infidelity will not ever be one again.

[This message edited by WilliamM at 9:13 PM, January 28th (Sunday)]

LivingWithPain posted 1/29/2018 11:31 AM


A few things...all women are different. I would not presume to represent all of us. I do not like being treated like a receptacle. Pre-dday? Thatís what he thought sex should be. I wanted connection.

You and my WW are complete opposites. She never associated sex with intimacy, and I never knew it. I always attached intimacy with sex.

And in my own defense I never considered nor do I consider my WW my sperm-receptacle. During the time she was in her A she was one... for the OM, and she admits that.

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