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Done. Another box ticked

Cattlefarmer posted 3/7/2018 14:00 PM

On Tuesday, I caught the train down to the city to attend our divorce hearing.

It's done. I am no longer married.

There is no sadness, in fact there is nothing but acceptance and relief. Relief to be out of limbo.

I had thought I may have written the ex wife a letter or text to express some sadness. But I didn't and I don't care.

I am actually having trouble writing this.
Not because I'm emotional in anyway, but because of the lack of emotion.

I did feel I needed to let you all know.
Your support, understanding and insight has been invaluable.

Thank you all so much.


imagoodwitch posted 3/7/2018 14:06 PM

Are you even the slightest bit happy/excited/relieved?

justbreathe74 posted 3/7/2018 14:12 PM

Hi Cattle Farmer,

I posted a similar comment a few weeks back. Was a bit surprised at my reaction of non-reaction. I was kind of waiting for some emotions to creep up, as it has been a long roller coaster, but you know its been a few weeks.. and nothing has really changed.

Not sad, but it wasn't a joyful occasion either so I guess what that feeling of non-feelings is just acceptance?


Regardless - Congratulations on making it through to the other side.

Phoenix1 posted 3/7/2018 14:24 PM

Congrats, in a bittersweet way.

I found my own final day to be somewhat anticlimactic. Wasn't happy, wasn't sad. It was just another day.

However, in my state there is a 30 day appeal window, and I had some very real concerns he might try to appeal the settlement (it is something he would do). When that appeal window closed, THEN I found tremendous relief, like a boulder had been lifted off my shoulders. I was just incredibly glad it was finally, legally, over and I could move forward without looking back or worrying about him trying to meddle in my affairs in some way (at least from a legal standpoint).

Onward and upward, Cattlefarmer!

MadOldBat posted 3/7/2018 15:04 PM

Just SI-hugs then (((Cattlefarmer))),
from me to you.

Thanks for letting us know.

MOB

Catch44 posted 3/7/2018 16:28 PM

Thanks for the view a little further down the line. It looks like the sun starts to shine.

Relief to be out of limbo.

Gooblish posted 3/7/2018 18:11 PM

I entireley get this. Finding out the divorce was final meant nothing. Finding out the same day the divorce became final that he was still in-touch with OW hurt like hell. It vindicated my decision to dump the bastard but it still hurt.
If we can just get the house dsold we can break the tie I may feel them that it is truly over . Until then I am divorced but still in Limbo.

BearlyBreathing posted 3/7/2018 18:16 PM

Such a long hard road, Cattlefarmer. I hope you sleep well and are able to feel a spring in your step in the next weeks.

(Hugs)

-BB

ohforanewme posted 3/8/2018 00:01 AM

Hi Cattlefarmer

Welcome to the other shore. Glad you made it.

We all seem to feel different emotions when we get to this point but what I have noticed is, regardless of the mix of emotions, relief always seems to be one of them. It is a good one.

If you ever get to wanting to through a Freedom Day celebration, I can recommend my DD and MMS as event coordinators. They do a rather good one.

SD, that invitation goes for you as well.

squid posted 3/8/2018 08:33 AM

Congrats, Cattlefarmer. I hope to be joining you soon.

Nycountrystrong posted 3/8/2018 10:48 AM

Congratulations on finally being out of limbo. I know its a long hard road. I hope to join you soon on the other side too. Paperwork was submitted 3 months ago and still I wait. Good luck on the road moving forward, now that you no longer have to look back and wait.

steadychevy posted 3/8/2018 14:19 PM

Thanks for the update, Cattlefarmer. Not an outcome you thought about before adultery, I'm sure. It seems to me the lack of emotion probably says you were past ready, although relief might be an emotion, which would say the same thing.

Onward and upward. You're a single man now. I hope you can find true love from a genuine woman.

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