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Blew your last chance

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MadOldBat posted 4/23/2018 04:17 AM

I hope you are ok (((Caterpillar))).
Perhaps record your conversation with OW surreptitiously on your phone - not for any divorce / legal reasons, but so you can review what is said when you are a little further out of the maelstrom.

Are you in a position to get legal advice (perhaps online - Google wikivorce) on where you stand financially if you walk away, getting divorced in your home country? (I think that's where you were married?) as opposed to where you are living now?

I understand that you may not want to take that huge step right now, but it would be a help to know EXACTLY where you stand wrt getting your ducks in a row.

Deep breaths Cat.
He's lead you on a merry dance, and now is going down a real dark path.
Step back.
You shouldn't have to be dealing with all his double life crap.

Sending you strength and an SI-sister hug.

MOB xxx

tushnurse posted 4/23/2018 07:06 AM

Caterpillar please tell me you have seen an attorney already. If not do immediately . That inheritance money needs to be put in a trust before you file, so that he cannot touch it, or get it.
At least where I am from that would still be half his, especially if you gained that asset after marriage.

I am sorry your world is coming down on you, but you do need to protect yourself any way you can. This is one thing that I see as a potential loss for you.

Sending you tons of (((And Strength))))

TheCaterpillar posted 4/23/2018 10:27 AM

I'm adding up our money/assests etc and working out what we have. I have no yet looked at divorce/separation options. IF this is it I don't need to know straight away. IF this is where we're headed we will likely separate for a while first before divorce.So yes, I'm researching my rights with regards to money etc. But it's been a few days since i got te message from the OW. I got a lot of information from her. I also have had some information etc from WH over the weekend. It is a LOT to process.

Nnothing is going to happen right now this second. I'm working out options. I'm looking at where I would go, how long for, how I would live on my own, IF that is wat we decide.

I'm still processing a lot of information. OW had nothing in writing, no 'evidence' as such but ther ewere things she told me that made me believe portions of her story. But some didn't add up with stuff I knew so she was lying/mis-remembering (it's been 2 years since they slept together so it's bound to be foggy)

I can't share all the info here. It would be a long post and I have to prioritise what I'm writing elsewhere. Putting it down in the wrong words here would confuse me and potentially cause me to get things muddled. I have to focus.

TheCaterpillar posted 4/24/2018 12:18 PM

MOB - really wish I'd seen your recording suggestion before I left on Sunday. I'm all a jumble. THeir contact was snapchat so there's no record of waht exactly was said.

Currently dividing my time between day to day normal things that don't stop for this stuff, checking my rights, checking practical arrangements I may need, trying to work out what truths I know, what lies might be, and how (and when) I want to confront WH. ON top I'm trying to make this look as normal as possible

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