The Book Club
User Topic: any affair fiction books
Member # 19024
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, December 10th (Wednesday)

I need a good read.. an empowering read.. I'm looking for a fiction book that deals with infidelity & the BW getting even, getting over etc.. Is there such a book?

"Sorry" works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes, but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting & trusting again is sometimes impossible

Posts: 4874 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Not in Philly.. it's just a screen name :-)
Member # 11939
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, December 10th (Wednesday)

I just read one called Fourplay. It's really good. If you want you can PM me your address and I'll send it to you. I just put it up on so I'm looking to share it with the next person.

Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.

My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.‎

Posts: 40994 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Canada by way of Virginia
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, December 10th (Wednesday)

I've just read the second of two really good books by one of my favorite authors that deal with infidelity. The first I read before I knew I was a BH. The moral issues kept me up for nights

The followup is new, and deals with the couple getting back together after 10 years apart.

The author is Nelson Demille. The first book is The Gold Coast, and the followup is The Gate House.

The first one isn't very empowering, but by the end of the second, the good guy comes out ahead

FBH - 46
FWW - 47 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 11 & 16

The people you do your life with shape the life you live

Posts: 49422 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 3:15 AM, December 11th (Thursday)

I just read a really amazing one called My Husbands Sweethearts. I cried through a big part of it.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
Member # 21540
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, December 11th (Thursday)

I think Revenge of a/the Middle Aged Woman -- it came out +/- ten years ago? Not too intense, but thoughtful, and hilarious at points.

Let us know if you find a good one!

Posts: 282 | Registered: Nov 2008
Member # 15942
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, December 11th (Thursday)

Anything by Olivia Goldsmith. She even has one with a little voodoo involved.

WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.

Posts: 4052 | Registered: Aug 2007
Member # 13593
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, December 11th (Thursday)

I loved "A Ship Made of Paper" -- it isn't empowering so much as a great case against an affair. Compelling.

Posts: 402 | Registered: Feb 2007
Member # 20417
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, December 31st (Wednesday)

I'm currently reading 'Quickie' by James Patterson. It's not exactly an empowering book but more of a bizarre tale of Affair regret. In this case the woman has a 'revenge' affair and her husband murders the OM and it turns out the OM was married with 3 kids which the woman didn't know. Really fast paced read, but I haven't finished the book yet, so don't give away the ending anybody.

Me: 49 (BS)
Him: 47 (WS)
PA: 2 yrs
Married 22 yrs
3 kids
D Day: April 2008
Me: "Nobody wants to be with a cheater not even a cheater."
My D(16): 'Why should I listen to dad, he knew what he was doing was wrong and did it anyway'

Posts: 486 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: New York
Member # 13501
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, December 31st (Wednesday)

Try the book "Black Olives" by Martha Tod Dudman. It's a quick read but very well-written. I read a ton of books (both fiction and non-fiction) after my xh affair, but this book helped me the most. It really goes through all the emotions that we (as BS's) experience.

"Life is what happens when your plans go astray."

Posts: 617 | Registered: Jan 2007
Member # 19765
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, January 1st (Thursday)

I loved Quickie.

Olivia Goldsmith wrote First Wives Club, which is actually a pretty good funny movie too (catch Sarah Jessica Parker as the young ho!)

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver (courtesy of my 13 year old son)

Posts: 1740 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: somewhere out there
Member # 20417
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, January 8th (Thursday)

I just finished 'Switcheroo' by Olivia Goldsmith. Excellent book. I laughed, and laughed, and laughed! Yes, it did have to do with infidelity, yet it really was very humerous. Alot of triggering, but so well written. So many of the feelings conveyed in this book I said to myself 'yup, that was us'. Yet, it really a good read. I'm a romantic at heart and found it really sad to read romance novels after my H's A. This one, however, I really enjoyed. Now, I'm going to try to find other books by this author. I have never read her books before.

Me: 49 (BS)
Him: 47 (WS)
PA: 2 yrs
Married 22 yrs
3 kids
D Day: April 2008
Me: "Nobody wants to be with a cheater not even a cheater."
My D(16): 'Why should I listen to dad, he knew what he was doing was wrong and did it anyway'

Posts: 486 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: New York
Member # 6387
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, January 17th (Saturday)

Try "The Politicians Wife" written by "Paula Milne".

Also made into a very good TV serial.

Although British, I believe it is being made into an an American version , starring "Felicity Huffman".

It will "hit the spot" it meets your criteria

Posts: 5928 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: England
Member # 16477
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, January 19th (Monday)

Im reading "Lessons In heartbreak" by Cathy Kelly at the moment.Im only halfway through but its a quick read, explores infidelity through both eyes (one Irish girl having an affair with a married man whilst working in New York, one Irish woman whose husband has an affair with her best friend and the two women cross)

Its definatly about affairs and infidelity and how it affects all parties but I dont know how it ends yet,I think it will be empowering by the way its written so far.

Posts: 676 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: UK
Member # 22235
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, January 19th (Monday)

During the time when my WH was actively having an A (and I was still in denial, trusting that he'd "never do something like that"), I read a book called "Outtakes from a Marriage" by Ann Leary.

The book is a fictional account, written in the first person, of a wife's discovery of her husband's infidelity. Needless to say, I regularly had anxiety attacks while reading this book, because it hit so close to home.

Ann Leary is the wife of comedian Denis Leary, and she's a very funny, insightful author. I enjoyed the book, despite the subject matter.

I recommend the book, but I warn that it might be a very painful read for most BS.

Edited because I got the name of the book wrong!

[This message edited by sadnews at 12:41 PM, January 20th (Tuesday)]

Posts: 731 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: USA
Member # 23277
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, April 12th (Sunday)

I really enjoyed Straight up and Dirty by Stephanie Klein. It's a memoir about her life after discovering her husband's affair.

[This message edited by broken11 at 12:40 PM, April 12th (Sunday)]

Me: BW 30
D-day #2 2/26/09
Filed for the big D

Posts: 619 | Registered: Mar 2009
Member # 21254
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, April 12th (Sunday)

Thanks for the tip about "Straight Up and Dirty", it's on my hold list at the library effective now.

"Happiness Sold Separately" was a little light but then that was exactly what I could handle at the time.

Also, "Happens Every Day" is non-fiction that I'm waiting for. Not sure how empowering it's going to be.

[This message edited by hurtinginseattle at 5:50 PM, April 12th (Sunday)]

me: BGF
together 3 years w/WBF
D-Day 9/4/08
12/5/08 WBF went NC, etc.
1/26/09 NC broken
1/27/09 sent NC letter
In R...

Posts: 253 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Seattle
Member # 23277
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, April 13th (Monday)

Glad you put it on hold. She also wrote a memoir called Moose about her times in fat camp. That was a good read too.

Thanks for the other recommendations. I'm going to the library this afternoon to see what Olivia Goldsmith books they have.

Me: BW 30
D-day #2 2/26/09
Filed for the big D

Posts: 619 | Registered: Mar 2009
Member # 23277
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, April 15th (Wednesday)

another one i enjoyed was Watermelon, by Marian Keys. It's a chick lit book about a woman whose H leaves her for another woman right she gives birth to her baby. Even though the topic is tough one it's a light hearted read.

Me: BW 30
D-day #2 2/26/09
Filed for the big D

Posts: 619 | Registered: Mar 2009
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, April 16th (Thursday)

Under the Tuscan Sun

Very lifetime movie-y - it's about a woman whose Husband has a midlife crisis, leaves her for a *much* younger woman, she buys a villa in Tuscany, regains her power, etc.

Not so unique, very predictable, but 'feel good-y'

DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15607 | Registered: Jun 2006
Member # 18606
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, April 16th (Thursday)

There is a Lifetime movie that I LOVE. I know it is not a book. And it might even be based on a true story? This woman helps her close friend investigate/spy on the friends WH. She buys equipment, does research and takes photos of her friends' WH with the OW. She thinks her own marriage is safe. Then she starts to suspect her own H. She employs the same PI techniques all herself and gets a video of her WH and an OW in a hotel room. She sets it up so that when her WH comes home, he walks into his house where the video is playing. SHe goes on to divorce him and starts her own PI practice, becomes very successful delivering conferences to help others. She took a negative situation and turned it into a positive by moving on and building her own life and business. I loved it! (And secretly I've always wanted to beceome a PI!)

Married >7 years, together ~9 years
Discovered affair - March 11, 2003
Filed for divorce - March 31, 2003
Divorced - May 5, 2003 (waived 90 day waiting period)
New Job - May 12, 2003
Bought Own Home - May 6, 2003
Adopted a baby girl!-August 2006

Posts: 1258 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Oregon
Member # 20111
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, June 26th (Friday)

It's a little bit mass paperback, but I think Anita Shreve is a marvelous writer.

Most of her books indicate a considerable familiarity with affairs. No one truly gets away with it in her world, even when you think she's showing a little bit of sympathy for the wayward.

"If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by?" - Vanessa Carlton

Posts: 837 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Michigan
Member # 22899
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, August 20th (Thursday)

Testimony by Anita Shreve is the latest one of hers I've read. It may be her latest, I'm not sure. While the focus of the book is not infidelity, that topic is a parallel story line to the main conflict. I enjoyed it and also think Shreve is one of the best contemporary women writers.

BW (me) = 51
WH (him)= 52
together 22 years
2 children - 21, 17
D-Day = February 3, 2009
His mid-life crisis turned him into a needy, pathetic stranger
Divorced 12/09

Posts: 116 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: the South
Member # 21139
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, September 7th (Monday)

All we ever wanted was everything
author janelle brown.

i hate fiction books but this was a lovely, simple story.Very uplifting and a great read.

Posts: 637 | Registered: Oct 2008
Member # 27119
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, December 24th (Friday)

I'm responding to this thread so I can find it again. Is there a way to bookmark threads?

Me - BS - 40
Him - WH - 43
Married 17 yrs.
2 sons - 8 and 4
Dday#1 - 06/03/06 - EA and PA with coworker
D-week#2(TT) - 12/28/09-01/01/10 -A2 with same coworker
Dday#3 2/16/10 - found out about EA/kisses with different coworker in 2001

Posts: 192 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: North Carolina
Member # 912
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, December 24th (Friday)

Maybe bookmarking this specific page using the favorites feature on your computer?

My classic fav infidelity book is Gone With the Wind, with the emotional affair btwn Ashley & Scarlett that goes on year after year.

I enjoyed the 19th Wife which I believe is also going to be shown on TV on New Years Eve on the Life channel. It's based on early mormon polygamy, is historically correct in a lot of details & I enjoyed researching the main character to see what her life was like in real life.

I liked the Day Late, Dollar Short book by Terry McMillan (that may not be the exact title or correct spelling of her name). You may not know but she based her "Waiting to Exhale" book on her real life romance & subsequent marriage to someone that in real life ended up telling her he was gay while wanting significant alimony. This book was written after the "they lived happily ever after" ending of the first book, if I recall correctly.

Dang, I read a really great one not that long ago I may still have here somewhere, but can't remember the name. The H dies & the wife finds out that not does he have an OW & has for years, but he screwed up paying the taxes, the OW ran up a ton of cc debt at fancy stores in the BS name, etc. How she goes from meek, kept in the dark, barely left the house BS to the end of the book has you rooting for her page by page as she works to undo all the damage her H & his OW did.

I loved the Tuscany movie a ton but the book not so much which is rare, usually I like the books better.

[This message edited by unicornsearcher at 12:35 PM, December 24th (Friday)]

11/02 Busted WH 4+ cheating yrs, 11/06 Busted [Month Long Lustfest]. 2/1/08 admits false version of betrayals, so no full disclosure / "whole truth" yet. '09 Together, great work in progress. '12 Still gladly united.

Posts: 14209 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Calif
Member # 912
Cool  Posted: 2:40 AM, December 27th (Monday)

The book where the H dies then the BS finds out about OW is:

"Over His Dead Body: A Novel of Sweet Revenge" by
Leslie Glass.

EXCERPT: Chapter 1

Life holds out its little surprises. Our stories unfold sideways, backwards, upside down. In a single second truth can be shuffled like cards & scattered in all directions, never to be arranged the same way again.

So it was with Cassandra Sales. At the moment she had her epiphany, she was kneeling in her garden surrounded by the exploding beauty of spring. Years of devoted attention to this garden had yielded absolute perfection, a feast of nature's botanical wonders.

...Now the tulips, the parrot kind, with ruffled feathers in pink & green. So thick, no earth could be seen below them. The beds were fully planted. There was no room for more.

Above, a number of dogwood trees were in bloom. Two weeping cherry trees wept copiously by the front door. The whole garden enchilada on just over a half-acre plot. The place was a tiny gem.

Cassie's lifestyle was nowhere near as grand as her husband's business success as a top wine importer suggested it should be, & her house was nothing special either. It was just a step or two above the ordinary clapboard colonial, surrounded by thousands of similar two- & three-bedroom suburban dwellings of brick or shingle with two-car garages in old & pleasant neighborhoods on the North Shore of Long Island.

It was her landscaping & gardens that put the property in an altogether different league from anything else around it. Everyone who went through the gate into the backyard felt the magic Cassie had brought to the place.

An arbor was covered with roses all summer long. A small greenhouse contained an orchid collection that seemed continuously in bloom. A flagstone patio around the twenty-by-thirty in-ground pool had teak outdoor furniture & was artistically arranged with potted plants in decorative planters that changed with the seasons.

That day the 50 year-old woman, who could have been anybody's relative, was kneeling all alone in a fine April drizzle wearing rubber boots, damp khakis, a sweatshirt, & a baseball hat.

The garden, the unpleasant weather, her acute attention to detail despite it, her outfit, her mud-caked hands, & complete lack of vanity told her whole story.


The piece that didn't show was that turning 50 had driven her crazy as turning forty to 49 had not. Now she was looking at her life through a different prism & not liking what she saw.

Her children were grown. Her husband, only 5 years older than herself, had an obsession with his business so intense, it seemed like an illness that robbed him of his old sense of fun & desire.

He was limp morning & night. When she asked him what they could do about it, his finger would jump to his lips, "shhh," as if merely voicing the problem might blow them both away.

Although she'd never counted the days & months since last they'd tumbled around, giggling & panting in the sheets, on that rainy April day soon after she turned 50, Cassie allowed herself to acknowledge it had been years. Years since a thrill!

And her own real achievements didn't seem enough to pick up the slack. Here she was, secretly longing for passion & purpose, & what she was doing was cooking, growing orchids, & watching the Discovery Channel.

She also read the newspapers & People magazine, caught the evening news programs & magazine format news shows. She followed the biographies on the Biography Channel & was a secret devotee of the nascent lives in The Real World on MTV. And the Survivors.

Cassie Sales saw all these lives & wished she could start over, have a job that paid her money instead of endlessly donating her gifts to causes like world hunger, whales, rain forests, refugees, battered women, child abuse, & cures for illnesses no one in her family had. She'd been very useful to others, donating her special gifts, but she was 50 & she'd had it.

Now she wanted to be beautiful again, like her daughter, Marsha, like her garden. She wanted to sparkle & dazzle, be flocked to by the birds & the butterflies & the bees that just didn't seem to come to her anymore.

The longing to be seen by her husband & have fun was so intense, so fierce & relentless, it felt like unrequited love.

Was 50 that old? Was it? She knew perfectly well that 50 wasn't old. It was her problem that dazzle was gone. Other people way older than they were had sex every day. You saw it all the time on TV.

Mitch wasn't old, he'd just fizzled out. The sudden longing for the birds & bees, after a dry spell of--Cassie didn't want to count the years--was everywhere in her dreams. She loved Mitch she was sure, but she was dreaming plane crashes, car crashes, a spectacularly fiery end to him absolutely every night.

And she was dreaming love from other sources every single day. It had to be around somewhere. Other people were getting it. She fantasized burgeoning cocks in every man she saw. Young men, old men, nasty-looking men. Bald men, fat men, small men.

Everywhere burgeoning cocks. In the supermarket, in the bank. At doctors' offices. On the playing fields when she drove past the high school. When she was with her daughter, Marsha, in the city.

No male was immune to her imagination. She thought about everybody. Everywhere. Something upsetting & unnatural happened to her when she turned 50. Something snapped. She had no idea what it was.

Suddenly she was tired of being sensible, of saving money, of being endlessly understanding & good about Mitch's languished desire. On the outside she was middle-aged, as predictable & conventional as a boiled potato, but on the inside she was beautiful, reckless, independent, a hard-drinking playgirl of 23. Younger than those Sex & the City girls. She dreamed of death & youth in tandem.

In the misty moment of her epiphany, Cassie believed that she & her husband loved & were loyal to each other in the way that husbands & wives were supposed to love & be loyal.

But quite frankly, she also wished he were dead so she could be a widow with all the pleasures that accrued to the state. A silly thought, she knew. Death wouldn't help her.

Years ago, before she & Mitch were married & before her mother got cancer & died, she & her mother had foraged one day for treasure in an antiques store for the perfect Valentine's Day gift for her father.

And they found it in a dusty frame with bars standing out in bas-relief across the sepia photo of a female lion lying in a cage with a male lion standing protectively by her side.

Under the ancient photo was the title: life sentence. The idea of no way out but death had amused them then.

Seventeen years after her mother died, Cassandra's father still had it on his bedside table. He never remarried. After he died, Cassandra kept it on her own desk for 7 more years.

And all the time, her own face slowly squared off to look like the face of her dead mother, frozen just at the beginning of middle age, only a year older than Cassie was now. Cassie's own life sentence had no end in sight, & did she really want it to.

For her, simple divorce was out of the question & widowhood wasn't at all likely; her husband came from the old school & resisted everything. No, death or divorce wouldn't do.

A real change in herself was required.

That fateful day in April, soon after crossing the chasm of 50, Cassie saw beauty waving at her from the other side. In a split second she decided on the surgical overhaul, & there was no turning back.

In a few short days she'd read every magazine & book on the subject & obtained a consultation with an upcoming plastic surgeon who had delusions of grandeur.

The artist in flesh was certain he could make her over as she had been as a blushing bride. On the enormous TV screen in his office he projected her as she had been with round cheeks, smiling lips, & wide, hopeful eyes.

She'd been a beauty.

The surgeon was as totally inspired by the youthful Cassie as Cassie was depressed to have lost her. He liked her spirit & her little plot. She wanted to have the procedures done while her husband was away on a business trip, to heal while he was gone, & to surprise the passion right back into him upon his return.

Would that it were so simple.

The confident surgeon, however, saw no flaws in the plan & agreed to fit her in quickly. She charged the surgery to American Express for the True Rewards. It all happened in the blink of an eye.

Cassie never considered the possibility of unanticipated consequences.

Chapter 2

A month later, at the end of May, 7 days after her surgery, however, Cassie knew she'd made a truly appalling mistake.

Her dos & don'ts folder said she would feel "mild discomfort" in her first two postop days. And "minor" swelling. Excruciating pain was what she felt & major swelling.

The Time Line of Recovery in her Instructions for Aftercare predicted that she would feel entirely better after the first week & looking forward to total recovery & miraculous results.

Cassie was feeling worse & worse as the days went on. It was almost as if the great upcoming surgeon she'd chosen to turn her lights back On had made a little mistake & switched her power button to Off.

She looked really terrible.

Her eyes were so black-and-blue & swollen, she could hardly see a thing. Everything hurt. She couldn't eat because she wasn't allowed to open her mouth wide enough to chew.

Worst of all, she didn't care about any of the things she used to care about: the skirmishes between the Democrats & Republicans, the latest in the abortion wars. The Middle East.

Beauty. She was way, way down, depressed, angry.

And her beautiful, smart daughter, Marsha, now 25, was no help in the reassurance department. Marsha was on vacation from social work school that week & had returned home to take care of Cassie, to drive her back & forth from her postop visits to the doctor, &
so forth.

Marsha turned out to be less supportive of the event than Cassie might have predicted, so the visit had taken on a surreal quality.

In her youth, Marsha had been something of a chore to er mother. As a teenager, she'd had every color hair possible. She'd worn slut dresses up to her butt from the age of 12 on. She'd stuck pieces of metal in her tongue & nose & eyebrow & navel, then protested angrily when anyone said something.

She'd smoked pot in the backyard, crashed the Volvo station wagon into Cassie's favorite dogwood while trying to prove she could turn the car around in the driveway without benefit of driving lessons (when she was not yet 13) on the very first day Cassie had brought it home.

She'd been caught in a neighbor's hot tub naked with 3 boys. For a number of years she'd weighed 170. She'd taunted her mother, worn army boots & grunge.

She'd failed Italian. Twice.

The girl got 1400 on her SATs, but school counselors thought she'd never make it to college. When she got to college, she constantly threatened to not make it through.

That completely loved & accepted girl (no matter what she did) had metamorphosed into the Marsha of today. Somehow she'd lost about 150 pounds. She was down to nothing at all. Her hair was no longer pink. Or green or purple. It was tawny.

She was cooking. She was bathing wounds. She was cleaning the house. Sort of. She was fielding the phone calls from her mother's benefit-giving buddies, lying to cover for her so no one would know what an asshole her mother had been.

Marsha didn't want anyone to know how bad things were. She was screaming at the doctor because her mother's face looked as if it were rejecting itself. She was demanding attention & care, & she was getting it.

She was scolding & nursing her own mother. She was a fierce & ferocious disapproving protector. It was downright weird. Their roles were completely reversed.

On the Friday, seven days after Cassie's surgery, at twelve noon, Cassie had the final stitches removed from her eyes. On the trip home she felt utterly defeated because the doctor had refused to remove the stitches located around & in her ears, as well as a myriad of staples hidden in her scalp.

He'd told her they weren't done yet. What was she, a roasting chicken?

She was further upset because she didn't look like anybody she'd ever seen in her whole life (least of all herself), & her face felt like somebody else's, too. The numbness in her cheeks & chin that no one had told her would occur in the first place persisted, & she was beginning to suspect that feeling in those areas might never return.

As soon as she got home, she climbed the stairs to her room & sat on the closed toilet seat in her bathroom completely demoralized. Mitch, who traveled a lot more than he was at home, was in Italy at the moment, blissfully unaware of her distress.

As he was blissfully unaware of most everything. He was no doubt checking out the Nebbiolo grapes in Piedmont or the Sangiovese grapes in Tuscany, the short- or long-vatting of producers, haggling for prices or position in the distribution chain, & making money they never spent.

She longed for & resented him in equal proportions.

Marsha, who'd been uncharacteristically nice for a whole week, was now taking her new & stunning self back to social work school. In her defeated situation, Cassie couldn't help thinking that sometimes her daughter was just as annoying as a do-gooder as she'd been as a teenage nightmare.

Cassie loved & resented her in equal proportions, too.

After all she'd been through, it turned out that she was going to be all alone with herself once again. And she'd become someone she detested with no reservations whatsoever.

"Here, Mom. This should cheer you up." Suddenly, Marsha appeared in the doorway with a soft pink tissue-wrapped package. "Come on, life isn't so bad. We all love you no matter how rotten you look. So what if you look like a fright for a while? Think of poor people. Think of what it would be like to be in prison, or maimed . . ."

Marsha's voice trailed off as she lifted her shoulders in a delicate shrug.

11/02 Busted WH 4+ cheating yrs, 11/06 Busted [Month Long Lustfest]. 2/1/08 admits false version of betrayals, so no full disclosure / "whole truth" yet. '09 Together, great work in progress. '12 Still gladly united.

Posts: 14209 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Calif
Member # 25382
Default  Posted: 4:58 AM, December 28th (Tuesday)

"The Life and Loves of a She-Devil" - Fay Weldon

As far as the movie goes, while I thought Meryl Streep was *hilarious* in the 1989 film, the 1986 BBC TV serial with Patricia Hodge is far superior.


Posts: 649 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: in the void
Member # 30521
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, January 9th (Sunday)

After I outed my WH to my MIL, she recommended the book Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin. It was a great read.

Posts: 85 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 19024
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, February 2nd (Wednesday)

After I outed my WH to my MIL, she recommended the book Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin. It was a great read.

I just finished this one today.. WOW!! It was a can't put down book..

But what was strange ( for me) is I was pulling for the OW.. I just liked her more!

"Sorry" works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes, but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting & trusting again is sometimes impossible

Posts: 4874 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Not in Philly.. it's just a screen name :-)
Member # 43079
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, September 3rd (Wednesday)

Bringing this back to the top in hopes that some newer books might be out there. Anyone with suggestions?

BS (me) 42
WS (him) 48
OW (downgrade) 48
Married 11 yrs
DS 9
DD 8
D-day 10/27/13

Posts: 106 | Registered: Apr 2014
Member # 40850
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, September 3rd (Wednesday)

Pretty Woman by Fern Michaels and Leftovers by Arthur Wooten are both really good. In each of them the BW gets her revenge.

Me: 47
Him: 50
3 kids
Married 22 years
DDay 11/1/09
Status: R and more in love than before!

Posts: 119 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: USA
Member # 35833
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, September 3rd (Wednesday)

A recommendation of an affair book NOT to read: The Replacement Wife by Eileen Goudge. Just don't. The BW is left alone while the WH and OW get their happily ever after.

Me: BS, 30s.
One son.
Many D-Days for excessive porn, Craigslist ads, and EAs/PAs.
Happily divorced since September 2015.

Posts: 3710 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday)

Adultery by Paulo Coelho.

It's new, was released in the US in August. I haven't read it yet, but it's next on my list.

Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.
Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.

Posts: 3028 | Registered: Feb 2006
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, September 24th (Wednesday)

I don't think it was based on a book, but the movie SHATTERED with Pierce Brosnan was good. BS's revenge big time!

[This message edited by Lucky2HaveMe at 8:28 AM, October 11th (Saturday)]

Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.

Posts: 8488 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, September 24th (Wednesday)

DISCLAIMER: I haven't personally read this, but...

"The Silent Wife" was recommended to me, by my ex-stepdaughter in fact, as a good BS revenge story.

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

Posts: 1857 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, September 24th (Wednesday)

Agree with "The Silent Wife" it's a great book and was on the NYT best seller list for a long time. I think it does a great job at capturing the confusion and loss of self that surrounds infidelity.

"You Should Have Known" is another great one about a well known author/relationship counsellor who writes a book about how betrayed spouses should have identified the signs of a cheating partner and rectified the situation, all the while her husband was having an affair that became very public.

An old one is "Tara Road" I read this in my early 20s and still remember it. It follows a woman's relationship with her husband from a young woman at the start to a 40 year old woman whose husband leaves her for a pregnant 23 year old and captures her grief very well.

We make our own fortunes and call them fate, and what better excuse to choose a path then to insist it's our destiny.

Posts: 610 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 40502
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, September 25th (Thursday)

The Silent Wife, by A. S. A. Harrison

BS/Me (61)
WH (62) 3 years behind my back. EA & PA with OW who was an old high school friend.
1 Adult Child
DDay: August 26 2012
5 Ddays since over the following 18 months.

Posts: 183 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: East of the Grape Vine
Member # 40850
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, October 10th (Friday)

I just read a really GREAT one by LD Cedergreen. It's called "Gravity". Not your typical affair story. It has a great twist in the middle that I definitely did not see coming. It's just an amazing book!

Me: 47
Him: 50
3 kids
Married 22 years
DDay 11/1/09
Status: R and more in love than before!

Posts: 119 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: USA
Member # 43990
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, October 10th (Friday)

Been several years since i read it, i just know that it freak the hell out of me at the end.

Paul Levine's "To speak for the Dead"

BH 28 DD 4
xww- broke, married to Limpy A. POSer and expecting

NB coming soon to a Fud near you

I like the story of the prodigal son, but he didn't screw the pigs.

Posts: 409 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Michigan
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:08 AM, December 14th (Sunday)

Just finished Adultery by Paolo Coelho. Very interesting, the WW in it was almost psychotic, and relatable at times.

He's a fantastic writer. I was debating whether or not to read it (on vacation in paradise, no less ), but it was an interesting read.

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

Posts: 55135 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, December 15th (Monday)

Coelho is one of my favorite authors. I thought "Adultry" was one of the worst books I've ever read and it had nothing to do with the topic. I'm way over that. lol I was just very disappointed with the book. I usually find his characters fascinating and these characters were so ordinary. I expect more from him. I hope he is not going downhill as an author.

Posts: 5662 | Registered: Jul 2002
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, December 15th (Monday)


I think we've discussed Veronika Decides to Die on this thread in the past.

As far as Adultery, I hated the main character. Besides being a cheater, she was evil in other ways. She enjoyed inflicting pain on others (and even an animal at one point). But she was describing a state of psychosis, which I could totally relate to when I was in my As. It was interesting from a wayward perspective.

A strange book, but interesting I thought.

What other book of his do you recommend?

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

Posts: 55135 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 6:19 AM, December 17th (Wednesday)

Not a fiction book but it certainly reads like fiction:
Perfection by Julie Metz.
It's a woman's memoir of how she finds out at her husband's funeral (where a neighbor is wailing and being very emotional) that he has been unfaithful for most of her marriage. She embarks on a journey to meet the OW and confront them to figure out exactly what happened and why.
In the end she is empowered.

Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA

Posts: 3174 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
Member # 47669
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, May 5th (Tuesday)

Francesca's party is very good one , I liked it a lot

Posts: 223 | Registered: Apr 2015 | From: Far away
Member # 49491
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, September 29th (Tuesday)

The Pilot's Wife by Anita Shreve
Books by Tessa Hadley-many touch on infidelity or near-affairs
Will think of more...have read dozens, it seems. Some are good, some not at all realistic or satisfying.

Posts: 55 | Registered: Sep 2015
Member # 49679
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, October 18th (Sunday)

Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaasen

not an infidelity book but one where woman gets revenge on her husband

(he pushes her overboard on a boat, assumes she is dead, and rather than going to the police, she sets about messing with him.)

It's a funny read, and sometimes we all need some funny.

Me BS - 47 at the time
Him WS - 52 at the time
together - 10 years
DD 1 - 19/7/15 PA
DD 2 - 11/9/15 EA NC broken a week after being established (same OW) thought they could be 'friends'

Posts: 604 | Registered: Sep 2015 | From: London
Member # 49777
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, October 20th (Tuesday)

I found Gone Girl cathartic, even if it gets very dark. The movie is really good too.

Me: BS
Him: WS- prostitutes
Married 16 years 1 child
Working on it

Posts: 53 | Registered: Sep 2015
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, November 4th (Wednesday)

I'm so glad I found this thread! My book club just selected Paulo Coelho's Adultery, and I'm really struggling through it. Everyone else seems to be fine, but it's a mix of people from all over our company and we don't all know each other's back story... so, who really knows.

I'm a fan Coelho's writing in general, but this account from this perspective... it's some kind of excruciating. I can't explain it. On the one hand, I've had a lot of feelings that the narrator has... and on the other, I've been a victim of the fallout of her behavior and choices.

I like his style of writing, but I can't help feeling like I'm watching a trainwreck in extremely slow motion, with my hands tied behind my back. I'm about 1/3 of the way through, and my heart pounds when I tell myself I have to keep reading.

I just needed to put this somewhere.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

Posts: 29076 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, November 4th (Wednesday)

It was a fascinating book...but I would love to hear your take on it....
going to book club tonight for GIRL ON THE TRAIN....
Didn't read it but the appetizers and wine will be fine

3 adult children
married a long time
LTA 2010-2012
D-day - 11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now." R.R

Posts: 2599 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
Member # 43344
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, March 11th (Friday)

The Kind Worth Killing by Pete Swanson

Others I have enjoyed:
This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper

Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple

This is Your Life, Harriet Chance by Jonathan Evison

Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick

Vacationers by Emma Straub

You Should Have Known by Jean Korelitz

Among the Ten Thousand Things by Julia Pierpoint

Days of Awe by Lauren fox

A small indiscretion by Jan Ellison

A Window Opens by Elisabeth Egan

The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin

Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman by Elizabeth Buchan

Me: BS 44
Him: WH 43
7 year LTA, DDay 1: June 4, 2013
DDay2: 6/5/16-Same OW
DDay3: 8/19/16-Same OW
DDay4: 8/1/17--found OW stalking me here at SI
Married 19 years
2 kids aged 12 & 10
Plan: get self out of infidelity

Posts: 449 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Florida
Member # 34041
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, March 11th (Friday)

The fourth child by cj Carmichael

My tablet does random word corrections

Posts: 2221 | Registered: Nov 2011
Topic Posts: 51