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The Book Club
User Topic: Getting the Love you Want
MoreBluetiful
New Member
Member # 28714
Default  Posted: 2:15 AM, August 20th (Friday)

Has anyone read this book, written by Harville Hendrix? It was recommended to me by my IC, and I thought it was so interesting, and really enjoyed it. It made me wish I had read it much sooner...

I am D now, but if anyone has read it, and done the exercises with it, do you think that some of them could still be beneficial for me to do now, even though I am single?


Posts: 23 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Indianapolis, IN
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, August 20th (Friday)

Yes, this is a classic. If I ever had a relationship progress to a certain level I'd like us to do the Imago workshops that use the techniques in this book.

If you're motivated to do the exercises in the book go ahead. I have a belief that it will help you attract a man that is more likely to be on that same wavelength with you...


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5733 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
BorrowTrouble
Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, August 21st (Saturday)

You know he has a book for people who are not yet in a relationship. It's called Keeping the Love You Find.

It's not as well written as Getting the Love You Want (for which Hendrix used a ghost writer), but it's packed with good, useful information.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 2:03 AM, August 25th (Wednesday)

He has another good one for anyone, single or married. It's called Receiving Love. It helps individuals work through some of their FOO issues and feel worthy of the love that they truly deserve. There is also a companion workbook for it too.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
tearsofjade
Member
Member # 25778
Default  Posted: 4:09 AM, August 25th (Wednesday)

Have all his books. Excellent. I would recommend Keeping the love you find, which is for singles. I have Getting the love, but it makes me sad thinking if he would have just put effort into it we could have saved the M. But he didn't and now I am OK with that and Keeping.. and Journey from abandonment have helped me.


FBW(me)48
Divorced and really happy!
The best revenge is a life lived well!

Posts: 653 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: michigan
Lost&Hurt
Member
Member # 19329
Default  Posted: 6:20 AM, August 25th (Wednesday)

Have the book, did an Imago weekend....

While I believe in the ideas and approach, unless you are with someone who will practice this technique along with you, it is pointless..

It is one of those processess that requires cooperation between partners and...mine wouldn't....

So you would likely ask, why bother....?

Well some days I feel that way too....and all I can conclude is that he is a man of action, rather than one of words...

He cannot handle all the talk that Imago requires....so he does things....

It used to work well for us, but the A changed all that.

I'm trying to find comfortable ground again...but this didn't do it for us.

[This message edited by Lost&Hurt at 6:21 AM, August 25th (Wednesday)]


BS: me
WS: him
D Day - 2-13-2008
Attempting R after 6 years of lies

Posts: 1478 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Outer Limits
bigpicture3236
Member
Member # 27861
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, September 3rd (Friday)

I thought the ideas were good, providing you had a willing spouse. If you didn't, you sold the book, like I did...


If you love something and hurt it dearly, then chose not to fix it...you never deserved it in the first place.

Posts: 3603 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Michigan
7yrsbetrayed
Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, September 5th (Sunday)

My rSA and I used it in our MC and it was wonderful. Very helpful once we got to the place where MC could actually work... after we'd both done a lot of IC.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
Crossbow
Member
Member # 15224
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, September 5th (Sunday)

I loved both this one and Keeping the Love You Find. I'd recommend them for sure.


DDay 7/4/07 found out about online/sexting EA with OM
DDay 7/25/07 found out about OW
In R

2 DSs, ages 8 and 6
DD, 1


Posts: 9376 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Utah
Topic Posts: 9