SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
The Book Club
User Topic: Alpha Males
sadcat
Member
Member # 8637
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, April 9th (Saturday)

Why are they such assholes? Ugh...


I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.


Posts: 13243 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: GA
story to tell
Member
Member # 30200
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, April 13th (Wednesday)

I'm not an expert at this, and there is considerable debate about whether the "Alpha" type of social animal can be useful when talking about humans, but there is this idea that the traits that caused the male to achieve the "Alpha" label, mainly agressiveness, goal-oriented, and confidence, can cause him to be not so good at traits such as compromise and empathy. Traits like these are important in any couple relationship, and Alpha males may come across as domineering and an "asshole" because of it.

Just my two cents worth.


ME: BS, 46
Her: WW, 42
Married 14 years
2 young girls
EA 10/14/10-11/03/10
PA 10/22/10-11/03/10
DDay 11/04/10

Posts: 367 | Registered: Nov 2010
sadcat
Member
Member # 8637
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, April 17th (Sunday)

i am kinda wondering how/why this got moved to general...but I guess I should have been more specific.

"alpha male main characters in books, why are they such assholes" was what I meant!

I can't stand reading a "romance" and the "hero" is a total asshole and I cannot understand what on earth the heroine sees in the dickhead.


I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.


Posts: 13243 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: GA
NewAttitude
Member
Member # 1030
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, April 17th (Sunday)

Okay, thank you.
Now it will be moved back.


Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

Posts: 58732 | Registered: Jan 2003
NewAttitude
Member
Member # 1030
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, April 18th (Monday)

Alpha males in books are my downfall.

I think there is a difference (subtle but it's there lol) between a true alpha male and just a jerk or bastard.

The funny thing is, though... I LOVE to read them but there is no way in hell I could stand to live with one.
I guess that's why it's fiction.

I don't even fantasize about having one... I just like reading about them, I guess.


Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

Posts: 58732 | Registered: Jan 2003
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, April 18th (Monday)

Sauron was an Alpha-Maiar and he got rolled by tubby little emo kids.

It balances out sometimes.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7444 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
NewAttitude
Member
Member # 1030
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, April 18th (Monday)


Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

Posts: 58732 | Registered: Jan 2003
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 3:51 AM, April 19th (Tuesday)

Same, NA. My tastes in actual men are vastly different from my tastes in fictional men.

Let us take the love of my life, Barrons, for example.

I would kill that motherfucker over and over for the sheer joy of it. He's always in a bitch mood, he apparently can't get turned on unless he's been fighting with you, he doesn't have to sleep, and he has a permanent erection.

All these factors indicate to me that fucking Barrons would not fall in line with my preferences, which is sportfucking followed immediately by attacking my DVR backlog. Never sleeps? Permanent enormous erection? That alone would be absolutely unbearable IRL. He would probably also have opinions on things that would differ from my own and would go to the mat for all of them, and this aggression will not stand, man. Additionally, he has secrets, and that is not allowed. If there is anything I require from a man, it is to *know him*. I don't care for mysterious men IRL. I like someone who will subject himself to basically having a psychological autopsy performed on him while he is still alive. I want to know him.

But in fiction he's totes my boyfriend.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 4:01 AM, April 19th (Tuesday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14226 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
sadcat
Member
Member # 8637
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, April 24th (Sunday)

Ugh see I can't stand even fictional alpha males. Well the jerky asshole ones anyway.

My favorite heros are always the nice guys!


I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.


Posts: 13243 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: GA
Topic Posts: 9