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User Topic: "Necessary Endings" by Henry Cloud
KLinNoCA
Member
Member # 22195
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, June 15th (Wednesday)

Anyone else read this book yet? It's amazing!

A lot of the theories in the book are "business" related examples, but applying them (and he shows you how to do this) into your personal life is so very helpful when you're left with the "why" and "how did this happen?" questions screwing with your mind--

It's helped me so much to just let go of a lot of the anger and unresolved questions I have. I highly recommend it if you're going through the same phase I'm in right now--past the anger and into the "why" phase of letting go...


BS (me):45
STBXH:53
M 13 years, together 15yrs
4 kids (2 mine, 2 ours)
1st D-day:July 17, 2008
2nd D-Day: Nov. 20, 2008
MOW, as well as a former BFF OW--I was in an "open marriage", I just never got the memo.
Divorced his ass!!

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Dec 2008
heart_in_a_blend
Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, June 15th (Wednesday)

I haven't read this book but I will check it out.

I did read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and it has changed my life with all my relationships.


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
KLinNoCA
Member
Member # 22195
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, June 15th (Wednesday)

Was it Boundaries in Dating? I finished that book earlier this year at it changed my way of thinking about dating and relationships.


BS (me):45
STBXH:53
M 13 years, together 15yrs
4 kids (2 mine, 2 ours)
1st D-day:July 17, 2008
2nd D-Day: Nov. 20, 2008
MOW, as well as a former BFF OW--I was in an "open marriage", I just never got the memo.
Divorced his ass!!

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Dec 2008
heart_in_a_blend
Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, June 15th (Wednesday)

No it just called Boundaries. Dr. John Townsend wrote it with him. I went through a class at church and we used his book as a workbook with video tapes to go with it.


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
Fighting2Survive
Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, June 17th (Friday)

I've read Boundaries and Boundaries in Marriage (this one with FWH) and I learned a lot from both books. I recommend them here all the time.

I haven't read Necessary Endings, but I will look for it.


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
KLinNoCA
Member
Member # 22195
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, June 18th (Saturday)

I'm so impressed with this book--I can't recommend it enough for those who are struggling to get over the end of your marriage--it's really helped me a lot and it's helping many in this book group I'm in.


BS (me):45
STBXH:53
M 13 years, together 15yrs
4 kids (2 mine, 2 ours)
1st D-day:July 17, 2008
2nd D-Day: Nov. 20, 2008
MOW, as well as a former BFF OW--I was in an "open marriage", I just never got the memo.
Divorced his ass!!

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Dec 2008
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, June 18th (Saturday)

I picked it up at the library yesterday and plan to start it tonight. Thanks for the suggestion. I hope he addresses ending very long time situations. I can't help but believe it is easier to end a short time situation, be it a business or a relationship than one of many, many years.

Posts: 5622 | Registered: Jul 2002
KLinNoCA
Member
Member # 22195
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, June 18th (Saturday)

Skye,
He does talk about ending long-term relationships..toxic ones. I think Ch. 3 or 4 explains this.


BS (me):45
STBXH:53
M 13 years, together 15yrs
4 kids (2 mine, 2 ours)
1st D-day:July 17, 2008
2nd D-Day: Nov. 20, 2008
MOW, as well as a former BFF OW--I was in an "open marriage", I just never got the memo.
Divorced his ass!!

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Dec 2008
Fighting2Survive
Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, June 18th (Saturday)

Is it helpful for other endings as well? I haven't ended my M, but FWH's A has brought about the end of other relationships that both of us are still struggling to come to terms with.


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
KLinNoCA
Member
Member # 22195
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, June 18th (Saturday)

Fighting,

It is helpful in ending relationships and understanding the need to end these..
There are many "business" relationships he talks about, but he also refers to personal relationships. It's really helped me to understand the need to "let go"..I have not only my marriage to let go of, but a very toxic relationship with my mother, which has been more difficult lately

I would love to hear what you guys think about this book once you've started it


BS (me):45
STBXH:53
M 13 years, together 15yrs
4 kids (2 mine, 2 ours)
1st D-day:July 17, 2008
2nd D-Day: Nov. 20, 2008
MOW, as well as a former BFF OW--I was in an "open marriage", I just never got the memo.
Divorced his ass!!

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Dec 2008
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, June 19th (Sunday)

I started it last night. Not sure it addresses what I'm looking for. But I'll keep going.

I wish I could get my husband to read it. He is the one who doesn't realize the ending is necessary and won't help us get there. I don't have the strength to do it alone. I read the first chapter and the man who is making the choices is strong.

Does he address the beaten down businessman who has nowhere to do and no resources to get there????


Posts: 5622 | Registered: Jul 2002
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, June 19th (Sunday)

I'm going to check it out, thank you.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
m334455
Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, June 19th (Sunday)

I LOVE this book.

I would recommend it a thousand times over.

He also wrote an excellent book called Integrity.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
KLinNoCA
Member
Member # 22195
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, June 20th (Monday)

Does he address the beaten down businessman who has nowhere to do and no resources to get there????

He shows examples of how people like this have changed their paths and gone a different direction after ending something that was going nowhere...and how fearful and scary it was to do that, but they did and life became better for it.


BS (me):45
STBXH:53
M 13 years, together 15yrs
4 kids (2 mine, 2 ours)
1st D-day:July 17, 2008
2nd D-Day: Nov. 20, 2008
MOW, as well as a former BFF OW--I was in an "open marriage", I just never got the memo.
Divorced his ass!!

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Dec 2008
KLinNoCA
Member
Member # 22195
Default  Posted: 1:33 AM, June 20th (Monday)

He also wrote an excellent book called Integrity.

I heard about this one and am thinking of buying it--I just got "Safe People" along with the workbook from Barnes and Noble and love it so far! It's going to help me stop repeating the same pattern and picking the wrong guys, I hope


BS (me):45
STBXH:53
M 13 years, together 15yrs
4 kids (2 mine, 2 ours)
1st D-day:July 17, 2008
2nd D-Day: Nov. 20, 2008
MOW, as well as a former BFF OW--I was in an "open marriage", I just never got the memo.
Divorced his ass!!

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Dec 2008
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Question  Posted: 7:47 AM, June 20th (Monday)

Are these books religiously based?
http://www.cloudtownsend.com/

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
KLinNoCA
Member
Member # 22195
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, June 21st (Tuesday)

They talk about God, but no, for the most part Necessary Endings isn't very big on biblical scriptures to back up his theories.

The other books, Boundaries, ARE Christian based--as well as many of his other books.

[This message edited by KLinNoCA at 2:21 PM, June 21st (Tuesday)]


BS (me):45
STBXH:53
M 13 years, together 15yrs
4 kids (2 mine, 2 ours)
1st D-day:July 17, 2008
2nd D-Day: Nov. 20, 2008
MOW, as well as a former BFF OW--I was in an "open marriage", I just never got the memo.
Divorced his ass!!

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Dec 2008
Topic Posts: 17