SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
The Book Club
User Topic: Don't Call That Man
stupidstupidme
Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, July 21st (Thursday)

I went to the bookstore last night to pick up Journey from Abandonment to Healing... I ended up with this other book - Don't Call That Man.

What I love about it is that it is just direct, and REAL. Not that some of those other self help things don't work - but I am just not disciplined enough to sit and close my eyes, and focus on what i hear... blah blah blah.

I need point blank direction and validation for my feelings, and this book is GREAT.

I highly recommend it for anyone in my situation - trying to keep NC - suffering from abandonment issues, and having a hard time.


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19714 | Registered: Aug 2006
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, July 21st (Thursday)

Wish I had seen that book long ago.


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
stupidstupidme
Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, July 21st (Thursday)

In one chapter, she talks about what to do when you are angry - exercise, take a martial arts class, etc...

Then talks about ways to cope during depressed and sad moments... like talking to friends, write a letter to the person (don't give it to them), or some sort of ceremony to "end" the relationship in your mind.

Well there's some good questions at the end of the chapter, asking to list how the person has hurt you. what did they do to make you angry, etc...

Then is said what is a way you could sort of "celebrate" the end of the relationship with some type of ceremonial type thing... I wrote "burn all his shit in the lawn?"


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19714 | Registered: Aug 2006
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, July 21st (Thursday)

burning all the shit on the lawn is something that sounds good to me!


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
mmrichet
Member
Member # 32475
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, July 22nd (Friday)

Funny because I have the first book you mentioned on hold for me at the library..
Seems I might go on a search for the one you bought...
I need all the help I can get..

Posts: 303 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: RI
Blindbat
Member
Member # 29495
Default  Posted: 2:25 AM, July 28th (Thursday)

SSM, have you come across the Baggage Reclaim web site? Sounds like it would suit your current state of mind


Noli illegitimi carborundum
Not yet as divorced as I'd like to be :-(

Posts: 713 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: The Land of Chocolate
stupidstupidme
Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, July 28th (Thursday)

HUH? no...


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19714 | Registered: Aug 2006
cass
Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, July 28th (Thursday)

I've only just heard of this site too. Good reading and great for self esteem.


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 8