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User Topic: Don't waste your money on Coming Apart
hurtinky
Member
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, December 14th (Wednesday)

The name of the book is Coming Apart. The subtitle is, "Why relationships end and how to live through the ending of yours" At the top of the cover it says, "the cure for a broken heart".

Uh, no it isn't. It just made my broken heart feel about 10x worse.

The author is Daphne Rose Kingma.

To sum it all up, this author would have us believe:

*Relationships end because they have simply run their course.

*Relationships are designed for the parties to "learn what they need to learn." Once you've learned everything you can learn from a particular relationship, it is going to end.

*Affairs, especially multiple or repeated affairs, "usually indicate a basic incompatibility." An affair can also "teach" the cheating partner his/her "emotional truth" which is, "Oh, I must not want to be married anymore."

*The author states, "People who indulge in affairs may indeed by selfish, self-indulgent, and inconsiderate." (You think?) "But what is also AND MORE IMPORTANTLY TRUE is that affairs may not be so much a statement about individual character as they are about the quality of relationships upon which they inevitably impinge." (No mention of the fact that it would be almost impossible for a faithful spouse to keep a relationship in the high quality realm when the other party is selfish, self-indulgent and inconsiderate.)

*It will be very helpful to have a "ritual ending" to your relationship that is over. Sort of like an Unwedding. Yeah. Right. I don't even want to imagine what that might look like for me. Blood bath, anyone?

The author even talks about her daughter's wedding. She writes that on her wedding day, she cried to her mother that it was so sad that she was marrying, knowing that the relationship would end at some point in the future. Excuse me???? Well, it is clear that her mother got to her head.

UGH. This book is disgusting. DO NOT BUY IT.


Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12



Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, December 14th (Wednesday)

"But what is also AND MORE IMPORTANTLY TRUE is that affairs may not be so much a statement about individual character as they are about the quality of relationships upon which they inevitably impinge."

I will use math to prove this wrong.

If we consider relationships in a value sense as this author does (the value being that which is learned from the relationship), then the relationship is an equation sum.

As the sum of an equation, X, it is the direct result of the characters A and B, defined as Significant Other 1 and Significant Other 2.

So:

X = Relationship
A = SO1
B = SO2

if A + B = X, then the quality of X is necessarily a statement about A and B and the combined values resulting in X.

Math. If you're going to make shit up, use it. It's a lot more convincing than Ritualistic Unweddings.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7495 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, December 20th (Tuesday)


Posts: 4719 | Registered: Dec 2009
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