The Book Club
User Topic: Healing the Shame That Binds You
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, January 29th (Sunday)

Just started this book by John Bradshaw. So far it is pretty intense. My therapist basically assigned this book to me. We're presently working through some of my problems with addiction, possible co-dependency and FOO issues.

Anyone else read this book? Was it helpful?


Posts: 7998 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 32130
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, February 22nd (Wednesday)

Read this one with my BH. It took a LONG time. Lots of in-depth reading in the beginning. But it provided some amazing insight to both of our lives. The exercises at the end are wonderful, although I don't practice them as much as I should.

This book spoke to me so loudly when searching for my whys.

WW-31(me) BH-38
Beautiful 2 year old daughter
Together since 2002
Married 08/03/2007
D-day 04/25/11 TT for about 6 weeks after that. Working on R.

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

Posts: 87 | Registered: May 2011 | From: CA
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, February 22nd (Wednesday)

Seminal work to my understanding of the development of PD's and what I was dealing with. Game-changer.

My brief and unenlightened take:
Most "normals" see that they did 'a bad thing', PD's believe they are the bad thing (that they did). Crucial difference.

I did not read the rest of the book. It's free online iirc, that's all I needed.

Literally launched me toward healing...

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Member # 9337
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, February 22nd (Wednesday)

I read it. I found it thought provoking. I found it helpful for both sides of infidelity.

Another book that was very good and discussed many of the same shame issues was one by Patrick Carnes that was called The Betrayal Bond. It identified so many behaviors that i just used to think, 'gosh that is so bizarre'. It dealt alot with early sexual and emotional abuse and the loyalty and defense of the people responsible for the exploitation. Real eye opener.

Me: BS 57
Him: WH 57
married 38 years
3 DD 10 grandchildren

Posts: 792 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: PA
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, February 23rd (Thursday)

Interesting you should mention the Carnes book, enduring. That is the book my FWW is currently reading. Makes for some compelling discussion material. Like you said, very thought provoking.

I agree with what you said, beautifulmess, that it is a long read. Small doses of it contain a lot of info that take awhile to consume and digest.

Glad it was able to help you with your healing, jjct. I appreciate the feedback.

[This message edited by LosferWords at 12:29 AM, February 23rd (Thursday)]

Posts: 7998 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 5