SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
The Book Club
User Topic: 50 Shades of Grey
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, March 5th (Monday)

Has anyone read 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James?

It is said to be and Adult Romance and is a 2011 goodreads choice award and a 2011 Best Romance Finalist.

I think I want to read this trilogy but am worried about it being too triggery.

Anyone read it and want to share your thoughts?


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8975 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
smith
New Member
Member # 13803
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, March 5th (Monday)

I've read the whole trilogy, there isn't really any triggery stuff in there but there is some intense BDSM stuff and graphic sex scenes.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Feb 2007
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, March 5th (Monday)

Did you enjoy it? Dumb question if you read all three books!!

I am not a prude and am adventurous, but not into BDSM. Is it way over the top BDSM or more mainstream?

I am afraid that there may be affairs in the book and I really couldn't handle that above anything else. Graphic sex is fine with me.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8975 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
smith
New Member
Member # 13803
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, March 5th (Monday)

I did enjoy the books, the first 2 more than the 3rd. There aren't any affairs in the books but most of the sex scenes are BDSM in nature.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Feb 2007
starrysky
Member
Member # 14669
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, March 9th (Friday)

I've read all three and LOVE them!! Here's a tiny bit of info for you; originally "50 Shades of Grey" was written as a Twilight fan fiction story called "Master of the Universe" Christian = Edward Anastasia = Bella ; of course the names had to be changed once the author was invited to publish the story but I actually read the fan fiction story before the published version.

At any rate, there is no infidelity in all of the 3 books but definitely lots & lots of steamy, yummy sex (and yes, BDSM situations).


"The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it"

Me(37)-FWW/BS
Him(36)-BH/WH The love of my life
2 Daughters: 15,11
Married 14 years Together 17 years
11 Month EA & PA
Beautifully Reconciled


Posts: 585 | Registered: May 2007
starrysky
Member
Member # 14669
Default  Posted: 12:59 AM, March 9th (Friday)

I also wanted to add one thing; while there is no infidelity in the 3 books, Anastasia (the lead female) does worry about Christian still being friends/business partners with the lady who introduced him to the BDSM lifestyle. At times, Anastasia feels she won't be able to fulfill Christian's needs (she isn't into the heavier part of the BDSM lifestyle) & on occasion worries that Christian will "visit" this other lady. I suppose that could be triggery so I thought I'd mention it but there is NO infidelity.


"The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it"

Me(37)-FWW/BS
Him(36)-BH/WH The love of my life
2 Daughters: 15,11
Married 14 years Together 17 years
11 Month EA & PA
Beautifully Reconciled


Posts: 585 | Registered: May 2007
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 5:36 AM, March 9th (Friday)

I find BDSM stuff really cheesy, but I actually liked this and the sequel. I don't read Twilight but could not discern its roots until after I read it and someone told me.

It felt kind of late 80s/early 90s to me, like one of those Jayne Ann Krentz books with the corporate hero and the Seattle setting. I kept picturing Patrick Bateman as the lead, since his name was Christian and he's a suit.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, March 23rd (Friday)

This book was being talked about, again, on CBS This Morning. It is in the top 10 ebooks. It is being talked about becoming a movie.

I still haven't read it. Thanks for everyone's comments. I will be reading it.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8975 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
ArialRose
Member
Member # 24735
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, March 23rd (Friday)

I read the first 2, loved the 1st one. Not so much the 2nd. Not in a hurry to read the 3rd. I can get mushy ILY forever, soulmate crap anywhere. I wanted to read about the whole Dom/Sub stuff because it was different and interesting...okay arousing.

The second one just didn't do it for me like the first.


ArialRose-BS
in our 40's
M 28 years, together 30 years
3 DSs (adult)
D-Day: 3/23/09, Major TT 2/10/10 5/24/10,10/30/10, & 12/12/10.
Inappropriate online conversations on my part- 10/2011

FOR FUCKS SAKE!


Posts: 2165 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: arialrose
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, March 23rd (Friday)

Another thing that I think is interesting is that these really aren't books about a sub finding a Dom and living HEA in D/s relationship.

They're about a woman finding a man who is a Dom and over time they end up living HEA in a vanilla relationship.

So it's a "virgin reforming a rake" story, just set in Seattle, with a billionaire.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, March 26th (Monday)

I'm curious why this paperback was $30 at the bookstore! I don't mind buyign books, but I can't pay $30 for a paperback. LOL!

I'm got tons of other stuff to get through first, so I can wait until it's a little cheaper.


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, April 9th (Monday)

I'm only 1/4 through the first one, and I just have to say that Crazz is in for some TROUBLE later!!


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
risingfromashes
Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, April 26th (Thursday)

I am 1/3 the way thru #1. Just read about their first time together.
No triggers except for the fact that I have not had sex for a very long time. This reminded me of that.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1467 | Registered: Mar 2004
hurtinghearts
Member
Member # 27232
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, April 27th (Friday)

I am about halfway through and am loving it.


Dday: Jan. 8th, 2010
OW#1 6 month PA...she is remorseful and forgiven. OW#2 The "therapist"... played head games with me. OW#3... loved to give blow jobs in her office. OW#4 the couple from Hell

Posts: 66 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Illinois
livvylou
Member
Member # 26697
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, April 27th (Friday)

I read all 3 of these dang books last weekend. Yes, ALL 3. I guess I liked them


BS Me WS Him
R & doing well♥ (Dday 7/09 R 8/09)
The only thing more impossible than staying is leaving.

Posts: 227 | Registered: Dec 2009
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, April 27th (Friday)

http://now.msn.com/entertainment/0427-ellen-reads-erotic-book.aspx

this is soooo funny ... Ellen trying to narrate from one of the books ...

BTW no I have not read them, but this made me lmao ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
punky
Member
Member # 12233
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, April 27th (Friday)

What's HEA?


Be a lion, not a mowess...
The Cowardly Lion

Posts: 11294 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: A whole 'nother country
Nicole5
Member
Member # 17794
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, April 28th (Saturday)

punky...it had me stumped too. Maybe Happily Ever After?


divorced my WH on Nov 4, 2011
(see my profile for "the story")


Posts: 338 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: TX
INeedMoreCoffee
Member
Member # 30820
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, April 28th (Saturday)

Just finished #1
Loved it!!!! Didn't find it at all Triggery.

Amazon here I come for #2 and #3



Posts: 618 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: USA
jadedheart
Member
Member # 32046
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, April 28th (Saturday)

This is on my list for audiobooks! I listen while driving to work etc. Can't wait to get it!


Me 45
FWH 47
DS11, DD18, DS21(they know nothing about A)
Married 23 years together 25
Dday 09/24/2010
"You can't control how others behave, you can only control your reaction."

Posts: 974 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Indiana
Myheartstillhurt
Member
Member # 32430
Default  Posted: 1:15 AM, May 4th (Friday)

I have not read these books, but a good friend of mine flew through them and is now very sexually frustrated with her H.

Like for 2 weeks she has been talking about how he cannot be freaky enough and he is kind of a bore in the bedroom.

I'm nervous to read them because I don't want to come out feeling like that. Anyone else have this problem?


BS(me) 32
fWH 36 (Epicallyfailedu)
OW/xBFF of 28 years
Four girls under 11
DDay: 6/5/2010

Posts: 2009 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Michigan
fourever
Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, May 8th (Tuesday)

I read all three, found them fun. My FWH is reading them now. Let's just say, it's been fun.
Send them to his/her reader.


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 847 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, May 8th (Tuesday)

I have not read these books, but a good friend of mine flew through them and is now very sexually frustrated with her H.

Like for 2 weeks she has been talking about how he cannot be freaky enough and he is kind of a bore in the bedroom.

I'm nervous to read them because I don't want to come out feeling like that. Anyone else have this problem?

I have to admit, I kinda had this issue. It's been a while since I finished the book, so I think my expectations are "lowering."

I tried giving him the hint about some, ahem, directions we could take in the bedroom, but he just gets nervous when asked to go off-program. Le sigh.

(Crazz, if you're reading this, the book is on my dresser and you're welcome to it!)


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, May 8th (Tuesday)

Heard on the radio today that this is about to be banned in some libraries.


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciling after divorce


Posts: 1916 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
Myheartstillhurt
Member
Member # 32430
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, May 8th (Tuesday)

Jrazz: As much as I want to jump on the bandwagon and read them (I know I would love them), I just don't want to feel that way.

I still have to finish Hunger Games anyway. I accidentally read a spoiler here that I thought said it was about the first book but it really said it was about the third. So I was on chapter 9 of the third book and found out some major things that are going to happen and it kinda ruined it. But I still want to finish it..

50 Shades of Grey just may not be in my future.


BS(me) 32
fWH 36 (Epicallyfailedu)
OW/xBFF of 28 years
Four girls under 11
DDay: 6/5/2010

Posts: 2009 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Michigan
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, May 10th (Thursday)

Hrm, just got banned in the libraries here in Brevard, after they bought 19 copies and had 200 people on the waiting list. This is bullshit. Game of Thrones and True Blood are available for checkout, so I'm not sure why a book has to be pulled. Oh wait, yes I do, because it's only Your Mom who wants to read it, and Your Mom isn't supposed to want to read porn.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 9:51 AM, May 10th (Thursday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
helpmeup
Member
Member # 27734
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, May 10th (Thursday)

"I tried giving him the hint about some, ahem, directions we could take in the bedroom, but he just gets nervous when asked to go off-program. Le sigh."

Jrazz - oh my, that is cracking me up. starting the 50 books this weekend and so we'l see if I have some luck in this arena. Can relate to needing to stay on "program". I have even suggested suggestive texts on the phone, verbatim ... to no avail! LOL! The upside? With no doubt in my mind I know that the OW got nothing but really bland vanilla. hee, hee, read 'em and weep, honey, cuz I am creating a loving machine here ...eventually


Me: 40's WH: 40's
M 19 years, 3 kids - the best!
DD#1 (2010)- a bit to tell
DD#2 (2012)- hmm, something new to tell!
TT (2 months later) - brings a new dimension to DD#1

Posts: 109 | Registered: Feb 2010
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, May 11th (Friday)

Well crap. This is going to be a repeat of when I went to the bookstore to get the Fever series that you all recommended isn't it?
The kindly old lady chuckled at me and winked and led me to the Romance section. I was shamed down to my classic literature core (I know I know.. I'm over it thank you ).

She's going to get all creepy and winky at me again isn't she?
Because I am going to buy them.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 42801 | Registered: Sep 2006
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, May 11th (Friday)

I haven't read it, but some writer friends of mine have and they say it's very badly written. I'm guessing for most people, they aren't reading it for the descriptions of the bedroom wallpaper.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 6931 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, May 11th (Friday)

Oh.. and JSYK.. my completely stupid ideas about the romance genre and the like were based on my knowledge of Harlequins and a mother that looked like I had told her I was running away to join the circus when she saw that I bought Sweet Valley High with my allowance.

So yeah.. not rooted in anything reasonable or experience with it.

[This message edited by metamorphisis at 9:11 AM, May 11th (Friday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 42801 | Registered: Sep 2006
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, May 11th (Friday)

Girl, this is why God herself made ebooks.

The 50 Shades cover was completely inconspicuous until everybody started talking about it. It's just a silver men's tie.

http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/files/50-shades-of-grey-cover_300x400.jpg

But there are

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1328176400l/6262135.jpg

a lot

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1311033027l/12068902.jpg

of covers

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1266666407l/4333951.jpg

that provide too

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1258630404l/7165664.jpg

much

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1237078978l/5041279.jpg

information

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1266721567l/3576209.jpg

to be carted around

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1328327805l/13159451.jpg

in real life.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, May 11th (Friday)

You are hilarious

Problem solved. Dh texted me to ask what I wanted for Mothers Day. I answered "Smut." and gave him the title. His problem now.

[This message edited by metamorphisis at 11:26 AM, May 11th (Friday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 42801 | Registered: Sep 2006
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, May 11th (Friday)

Like for 2 weeks she has been talking about how he cannot be freaky enough and he is kind of a bore in the bedroom.

Well, this obviously means romance novels set unacceptable fantasy standards for men in the bedroom.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Lucky2HaveMe
Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, May 11th (Friday)

Your H will get hi-5s instead of winks!

Wonder if the book comes wrapped in plain brown paper if you order from Amazon?!?


~L2HM~
Every Storm Runs out of Rain ~ Gary Allen

Posts: 5471 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, May 11th (Friday)

Like for 2 weeks she has been talking about how he cannot be freaky enough and he is kind of a bore in the bedroom.

I'm nervous to read them because I don't want to come out feeling like that. Anyone else have this problem?

I can pretty much guarantee if I read this to my husband he will buy me two copies, insist I read all day on Mothers Day and hire a sitter



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 42801 | Registered: Sep 2006
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, May 11th (Friday)

My GoodReads list in covers view is just a wall of absolute hilarity. Such *literal* covers. If you see a girl and 5 guys on the cover GUESS WHAT IT'S ABOUT. If you see a wolf GUESS WHAT IT'S ABOUT. Exactly what it says on the tin.

I've never understood the point in expecting something from your dude that he clearly cannot pull off. I think you pretty much know whether or not the guy you're with has this in him. And if you think he can possibly pull it off, the way to help the process is not going to begin with you saying "Why can't you be more like..." WCYBML is a confidence killer even if you're asking him to be more like a fictional person. If *this* is what you want, the last thing you should do is lower his confidence. Presumably you understand that he is never going to be a billionaire financier any more than you're going to be a virgin again, so I'm thinking you just want him to act more dominant. This is not the way to make him feel comfortable trying that on.

See now, meta is dealing with someone with the potential, and she knows it. If you're working with potential you know it. You go to war with the army you've got, ladies.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 12:55 PM, May 11th (Friday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
TXMommy
Member
Member # 28857
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, May 17th (Thursday)

Metamorphosis... this is why you need a KINDLE! No going out for books anymore! Just download!

I have to admit, I was wanting more SUBSTANCE to these books. Being a twilight fan, I do love the parallels, but am disappointed in the characters. I am strangely drawn to the story, and pretty much hooked, though! I'm in the middle of book 2...


ME - BS - 33
WH - 30
Married 9 years, together 11
2 kids: D8, S2
D-Day: June 10th, 2010
Is it bad that I'm just now able to say I'm in R?

Posts: 549 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: TX
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, May 17th (Thursday)

I'm about 1/4 of the way through book 2. Kinda slow going, IMHO.... Please tell me it "picks up"!


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, May 18th (Friday)

*GASP* I'm posting in the Book Club.

When you guys pick yourselves up out of the floor from shock, tell me if this is really worth reading.

I've been checking reviews and while it's a "Bestseller" blah, blah, blah, I'm seeing the writing is less than stellar, setting is in America but with oodles of British overtones (not that there's anything wrong with the British!) the writer overuses the same handful of phrases, so on and so forth.

Is it popular just because of all the BDSM hype? Yawn. There's plenty of good literotica with BDSM themes to not buy a poorly written trilogy. Curious of everyone's thoughts before I do or don't purchase this.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"You can do it!" - R. Schneider


Posts: 5456 | Registered: Nov 2011
RS2731
Member
Member # 33947
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, May 18th (Friday)

Aub -

I'd say save your $$. I got the first one b/c of all the hype and I just don't get the hype. I'm sure it's b/c of the BDSM and some of those scenes are... fun to read , but the book itself is just really not worth it. I bought the second one b/c a friend told me it gets better, but I'm stuck in the first few chapters b/c I just don't care.


Me - BS, 36
Him - WH, 36
Married - 11 years
DS - 4
D-Day - September 2011
In process of R.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.


Posts: 2213 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CT
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, May 18th (Friday)

FWIW the 2nd book picks up just after the first 1/4.

It's crappy writing fo sho, but it is entertaining as hell!


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
njgal480
Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, May 19th (Saturday)

Just curious....
Is BD S&M really mainstream now?
I'm surprised that so many BS would not be upset by it.
For me it is a huge trigger because that is how the MOW kept the LTA going.
She kept ramping things up with more and more kinky stuff.
So...when I heard all of the new stories about the popularity of this series it made me shake my head in wonder.
I just don't 'get' how anyone would find pain erotic?


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, May 19th (Saturday)

njgal,

I totally get what you're saying. But many people incorporate variations of BDSM in their lifestyle every day and don't realize that that's exactly what it is. Blindfolds, handcuffs, biting, hair tugging, scratching, it's all elements (albeit mild ones) of BDSM.

I wonder if it's not so much the BDSM element but the fact it's "safe porn" for the average person. People might feel dirty picking up Letters to Penthouse, but won't think twice about picking up a steamy novel on the Bestseller list.

Sorry for the t/j


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"You can do it!" - R. Schneider


Posts: 5456 | Registered: Nov 2011
helpemegetoverit
Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, May 20th (Sunday)

Aubrie, I am with you on this one. As someone ok with and who likes a bit of S&M (light, no 'safe word' needed type stuff ) there is plenty out there withouth having to read something poorly written. I have heard the same thing...this has become a best seller because of the content but the writing is not good. Even those I know who read it and liked it admitted that to me.

My sister said it made her frustrated with her husband sexually while reading it too (someone above mentioned that). I doubt it will do that to me but I remember friends saying that about Twilight also (another thing I never bothered reading).

But, after all of that, curiosity just may kill the cat since someone gave me their copy...I have yet to pick it up but now that I have seen 20/20 episodes on it and everyone seems to have read it, I may pick it up eventually.


Me: WW
Him: BH
Intuition is not a gift, but a skill based in self esteem.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Nov 2010
fourever
Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, May 21st (Monday)

Ladies (and Gents), read it. It's not a classic, just for fun.
And let's just say, that maybe.
my FWH put a silver tie under his pillow the other night.
Yahoo!

Now, back to that reading list I saw a page or two ago......


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 847 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
stroppy_wanadoo
Member
Member # 11224
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, May 21st (Monday)

These books irritated me. The characters were irritating, the story line was irritating, the writing was irritating... make that abysmal.

I read the first two and am irritated that I spend money to buy these on my Nook. Won't get the third.

Can you tell I didn't like them?


Posts: 957 | Registered: Jul 2006
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, May 21st (Monday)

Is BD S&M really mainstream now?
Well, first, I have actually seen many hipper-than-thou online BDSM folks whinging about the inauthenticity of the "BDSM" in this book, so someone who considers themselves Of The Scene would not consider this book to be properly about BDSM at all. And they're right, but just like some historical romance novel cares a lot about pretty clothes and ignores the poor dental hygiene that exists pretty much in every place and time that is not here and now because it is first and foremost a *romance* novel, this is also a romance novel, so of course real people who are really at some club are probably not wearing five inch heeled boots and are actually probably wearing really boring black flats because they have to stand up a lot and folks actually do tend to think about comfort more than costume if they're all into that sort of thing.

But as far as BDSM being mainstream, stuff that used to really be considered fetish wear is pretty mainstream now (or versions of it) and I think everyone knows terms like safeword, tops and bottoms (which in BDSM terms is not at all about throwing and catching), etc.

And honestly, in my experience in the BDSM romance subgenre, there's hardly any focus on pain whatsoever. It's mostly elided, just like body odor in historicals. That is why sometimes I read something where someone's about to haul out the single tail and...now I've never dealt with that and never would, but I guarantee you that if somebody whipped you with one it'd fucking hurt. But in the BDSM romance novels I've read that is basically ignored and it might as well be a playful spanking. It's times like those that reading e-books is frustrating because you can't just fling them across the room in disgust. Anyway. I do not find pain erotic *at all*, personally, so since there's really no acknowledgment of pain in books like that I can manage to get through them.

my FWH put a silver tie under his pillow the other night.
That's so cute.

Umm, how is somebody going to get sexually frustrated with her husband because of Twilight? Because he doesn't want to not have sex with her enough?

You know really, the thing that I think is going on with both of those books is that the guy feels protective. The rest doesn't matter. The guy is focused on the girl, singularly so, and is extremely protective. I'll have to use Twilight for this because I can't remember what happened in 50 Shades but as acknowledged it's the same thing. So, scenario: a vampire pushes you out of the way of a speeding car, thus saving your life. Now, we know a few things about this guy. First, he spent several points in Celerity. Second, he's paying fucking attention. To "you"/her. He was paying attention, noticed you were about to get flattened, and saved you. We also find out that sometimes he sneaks into our room and watches us while we sleep. Creepy? Yes. But it also means *he's paying attention* and *he's protective*. The vast majority of romance novels play on these two themes in some way. Somebody who doesn't even notice other women exist. Somebody who wants to take care of you. The way those things play out...covers a wide range of actions, some that are legitimately disturbing and some that are just very sweet, but this book is exactly the same. Hero maintains laser-like focus on heroine. Hero performs his version of "being protective." How he chooses to do those things are the differentiators and are not always going to be to everyone's taste, but the hero is pretty much always going to cover those bases.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 11:50 AM, May 21st (Monday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, May 22nd (Tuesday)

1. http://realityrewind.com/50-shades-of-grey-is-ryan-seacrests-new-obsession-353663/

I love Sprinkles so much. I love Sprinkles like I love Justin Timberlake. Earnest with a strong work ethic.

2. Have we discussed the tampon thing yet? I had forgotten about the tampon thing.

3.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 10:52 AM, May 22nd (Tuesday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
stupidstupidme
Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)

I have had several people tell me I have to read these... I am definitely curious.

Would someone mind telling me what the BDSM parts include, and more specifically - why people in that community would think it isn't accurate?

I also read a couple reviews, and opinions online - one saying something about enjoying the fantasy/romantic part, but not letting it take us backwards (I guess as far as women and equality). I COMPLETELY disagree with this statement. I think that anyone that CHOOSES this lifestyle is embracing something about themselves that isn't the social "norm" and to me, that is (individual) PROGRESS. IDK... just my opinion.

The other comment was that most of the draw is the romantic love between the two characters and not so much the sex. Curious about that too, since I haven't read any of them.


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19682 | Registered: Aug 2006
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)

why people in that community would think it isn't accurate?
Because BDSM hipsters are the worst.

This is a good article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/50-shades-of-grey_b_1441008.html


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
imstillangry
Member
Member # 30154
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)

I really liked this book. Want to read the other 2. I would say it has a lot of fantasy elements to it, but the characters seem to think through what they are doing. They seem to take a mature approach, but of course the heart always has it's say.

Posts: 447 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Florida
Exit Wounds
Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)

Heard on the radio today that this is about to be banned in some libraries.

What is wrong with people? What now we are not "old enough" to be allowed to read smut?


Posts: 2474 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...
hurts2damnmuch
New Member
Member # 35465
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)

sounds like Brad Easton Ellis novel gone awry.

Posts: 36 | Registered: Apr 2012
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, June 7th (Thursday)

I was trying to avoid reading this but EVERY WOMAN THAT I AM FRIENDS WITH has now oohed and ahhed over it enough, and they are completely when I say I haven't picked them up.....

That I now feel like I have
to.

eta: I can't spell

[This message edited by itainteasy at 2:01 PM, June 7th (Thursday)]


Posts: 3082 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, June 7th (Thursday)

Itainteasy- that is exactly why I read the first one.
ANNOYING is the right word for it. I had it on my nook or I would have just skipped through 3/4ths of it. (that is annoying to do on the nook). I thought I didn't get the complete download because it ended so badly. Horrible writing IMO. Shallow characters.

I'd rather read Penthouse if I want erotica. At least there I wouldn't expect it to be best seller material.

Also, like LadyV- pain is not my thing, so any reference to it killed any mood I might have gotten from it.

The protective angle- interesting because in many ways the relationship reminded me of an old flame. Not in any of the descriptive sexual practices, but more the attentive protective manner which he approaches sex with her.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6247 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, June 7th (Thursday)

I really liked The Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rampling (Anne Rice) for erotica.

I will give this a try...I don't think I'll enjoy it though.


Posts: 3082 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, June 7th (Thursday)

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/ny_gals_learning_the_ropes_at_fifty_sVWWKeksj9WKUto2ITg1KK#ixzz1x6rmMuUs

LOL

Somebody is missing the marketing opportunity here if they don't create a line of branded# 50 Shades bondage toys.

# Hurr


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, June 10th (Sunday)

My gf lent it to me. I wasn't going to read it as I suspect I will have the same response to it that I had with that teen vampire story that other loved but I thought was lame. My SO saw it on my bedside table last night and knew all about it. He hadn't read it but he heard it described as chick porn. I'll give it a try. You all made me curious.


Here's to A New Life of Excellent Health, Financial Abundance, Nature's Beauty, Amazing Art and Personal Creativity, with Love, Beauty and Peace All Around Us.

Posts: 5546 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: United States
HappilyUnMarried
Member
Member # 21299
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, June 10th (Sunday)

I read all 3. Horrible writing. I thought the lead woman character was a little whiny, spoiled brat. I dislike her.

But, I kept reading anyway.

To me it's a fantasy. Who wouldn't want to be the love object of Christian Gray? Total fairhful... Cherishing... Protecting... My XH was the opposite of CG. Not realistic... But are fantasies always realistic?

Ps. The new guy I am dating is going to read the series. I think it will be fun to talk about it with him!

[This message edited by HappilyUnMarried at 8:25 PM, June 10th (Sunday)]


True happiness comes from within, not from someone else.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy

Posts: 1291 | Registered: Oct 2008
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, June 11th (Monday)

Harhar:

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20602902,00.html

"Broadway celebrated itself Sunday night – and crowned Once and playwright Bruce Norris's Clybourne Park as the season's best musical and drama, in a star-studded evening that third-time host Neil Patrick Harris called "the 66th annual Tony Awards, or, as we like to call it, Fifty Shades of Gay.""


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
stupidstupidme
Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, June 11th (Monday)

I read the first one Friday night(yes, all in one sitting), and am halfway through the second one. I know nothing about any Twilight stuff - zilch, so there was no connection for me.

I thought I'd be disappointed in the writing, but I wasn't. Yes, some of it could have been better, but it wasn't horrible to me.

I like Ana. Totally. Personally I could totally relate to a lot of what she was feeling/thinking. The only part I DIDN'T like is that Grey seems too weak to me. Much of what was in the contract and talked about never came to pass, so the disappointing part for me is that she never really is a submissive to him

I am halfway through book two, so maybe that changes... but IDK, he is just getting weaker, IMO...


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19682 | Registered: Aug 2006
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, June 11th (Monday)

Yes. This is a book about a guy getting topped from below into realizing he just wants a nice vanilla relationship. She reforms the billionaire rake and turns him on to vanilla monogamy. I personally like vanilla monogamy, but I can see how someone might feel this series is a bait and switch. Hahaha, I said switch.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
stupidstupidme
Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, June 11th (Monday)

Damn, so like I thought - it's not going to get better for me, is it He's getting too "weak" too vanilla already.


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19682 | Registered: Aug 2006
sosadandlonely
Member
Member # 9190
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, June 11th (Monday)

I still have about 40 pages of the third book to read. It's been a few weeks, been too busy to finish it!!! I'll get there. The second one was my favorite I think....



"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair"..

Posts: 4585 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: Cinderella's Castle
lifeblowntobits
Member
Member # 33687
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, June 11th (Monday)

Finished all (3) books in my 1 week off of school!


Me-BS-44, Him-WH-45-very remorseful
OW-Married, opportunistic co-worker whore
DD#1 7-30-2011: everything else lies until 2-12-12
Married 11years, DS19y, DS15y
2.5 years out: in a good place, light at the end of the tunnel


Posts: 1646 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Illinois
circe
Member
Member # 6687
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, June 11th (Monday)

Tried to read it but the writing was so bad and the characters so two dimensional it kept kicking my mind out of the story. It reads like an internet self-publish - not even the good-bad writing of a Harlequin romance.

I like a good sexy book, but I have to be able to let my mind follow along with the images - the writing was so bad that just couldn't happen. I'm kind of sad about it, too, since I miss the sex books of old and would love to get into a new one.


Posts: 3137 | Registered: Mar 2005
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, June 11th (Monday)

I'm with you Circ. Got to page 25 and that was a struggle. Can't stand the characters and don't relate to them at all. I agree 2 dimensional and boring. Didn't even get to the sex stuff and I give up.


Here's to A New Life of Excellent Health, Financial Abundance, Nature's Beauty, Amazing Art and Personal Creativity, with Love, Beauty and Peace All Around Us.

Posts: 5546 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: United States
stupidstupidme
Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, June 12th (Tuesday)

I just finished book 2. I still like it


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19682 | Registered: Aug 2006
Bee2011
Member
Member # 33209
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, June 13th (Wednesday)

Haven't read the previous posts, but here's my take.

I tried... I really did. But the writing was just terrible. And the characters were so bland.

There was just too much:
Ana biting her lip. Christian telling her to stop biting her lip. HOLY CRAP! HOLY SHIT! On every other page.

And really - a college student going into publishing who doesn't have her own computer, who refers to checking email as "opening up the email program"... This is just out of touch.

I'm really letdown!


Insert glib quote here.

Reconciling.


Posts: 69 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: The Hard Road
BooBoo!
Member
Member # 33195
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, June 13th (Wednesday)

Just finished the first book and I have to say that I thought it was going to be much worse that it was lol

Also, I heard on the radio this morining that the author is planning on writing the same series from Christian's point of view


Posts: 630 | Registered: Aug 2011
Bee2011
Member
Member # 33209
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, June 13th (Wednesday)

A previous poster mentioned the Sleeping Beauty trilogy... I read those about 7 years ago. Much hotter, much better writing, in my opinion. I might go back and revisit them now that I think about it...


Insert glib quote here.

Reconciling.


Posts: 69 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: The Hard Road
not_a_martyr
Member
Member # 9518
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, June 13th (Wednesday)

SSM, I've been there/done that re the D/s thing. Believe it or not, I was the s. LOL

My thoughts on the book are that BDSM is presented as something he needs because he's broken. And one day he just loves her enough that voila! he no longer needs it.


ehhhhh, what about safety and trust and two adults making a decision to particpate in BDSM together, whether on a trial basis or as a something more frequent?

I've read all three of the books. Grey was F'd up royally (as he says, 50 shades of it, right?). IMO, few good/qualified Doms are that F'd up. And if they are, they don't magically heal because of the love of a good person.

If all the F'd up people in the world magically healed through the love of a good person, we wouldn't need SI, right?

By the way, I would and have, by a lake. I highly recommend it. :)


me: 40
him: 38
us: in R


Posts: 5856 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Texas
Mrs Panda
Member
Member # 27303
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, June 14th (Thursday)

Oh MY! This thread has my inner goddess doing jumping jacks and hula hooping. Wtf.


Me-41 FWW Him-44BH
M 13years. Reconciled.
DDay#1 Nov 2008 (OM2)
DDay#2 Aug 2009 (Confessed to OM 2001)
"The only thing permanent is change." Dr Charles Mayo,1930

Posts: 1946 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The SouthEast
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 5:11 AM, June 15th (Friday)

And really - a college student going into publishing who doesn't have her own computer, who refers to checking email as "opening up the email program"... This is just out of touch.
I really thought the most jarring thing was how 50 years old she seemed. Her voice was the *worst*. Jesus, just make her Miss Havisham, if you insist she must be a virgin. It's hard enough for a first person narrator to not make you nuts, but she is particularly bad. Or hey, she could've set it in the 80s. It really read like an early 90s Jayne Anne Krentz with bondage, to me.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
feelsgaslighted
Member
Member # 19290
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, June 21st (Thursday)

I liked the first book and read the other two but found it became repetitive. I didn't mind it but it really wasn't anything special for me.


Not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image.
Betty Warren- Mona Lisa Smile

Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: South
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, June 21st (Thursday)

the most jarring thing was how 50 years old she seemed
Hey now!


me BS female 55/him WS 58
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, June 21st (Thursday)

She's supposed to be 22!

I'd much rather read about a 50-yo woman and a 30-yo billionaire than a 30-yo billionaire and a 22-yo virgin.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, June 21st (Thursday)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkHIAIEZDC4&feature=youtube_gdata_player


me BS female 55/him WS 58
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, June 21st (Thursday)

"Never do ANYTHING that hurts!"

"It's a great way to lose your virginity then quit."


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, June 21st (Thursday)

"oh my Gawd, oh he whipped her" and the other one says, "he sounds like a good lover"


me BS female 55/him WS 58
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
want_to_forgive
Member
Member # 20470
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, June 21st (Thursday)

I gave into peer pressure and read all three books.

It was like going to the dentist, a necessary evil.

After reading them, I felt like a snob but I just couldn't giggle with my friends about how great they were. When I told one of my friends how much I struggled to get through them because the writing was SO TERRIBLE, she looked at me like I kicked her puppy.


M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.

Posts: 534 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Alaska
positively4thst
Member
Member # 23998
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, June 21st (Thursday)

Downloaded it to my kindle because of all the hype. (And I don't do "romance" novels). Started off good, but I have expectations . . . . come on, "let's get it on" . Too much foreplay! I read a little more today at lunch hoping to get to the juicey part and it was more high school "Oh Grey!! He's so electric!! He makes me swoon!!" I found myself swiping past hundreds of pages at a time!! Let's get to the point, shall we?!! And still, it was all this hot and bothered silliness between the two. . . . Not sure if I can stick with this one, please email me the Reader's Digest Cliff notes.

Posts: 1220 | Registered: May 2009
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, June 25th (Monday)

I was handed this book and told to read it while carpooling to the southern parts of the east coast, knowing that I couldn't keep my mouth shut while I did so.

So for awhile there was ferret fisting, tinfoil confusion, swollen breasts and halfhearted pirate orgasms. I had meant to inject rancid donkey flogging in there somewhere but forgot to. I was kind of surprised at how not-graphic or very interesting the sex scenes were but I guess as a dude I lack the appropriate romantipendix glands required to properly digest this stuff. It was kind of like reading a Skinamax after-hours flick that went full frontal nudity with occasional penetration shots.

Damn, rancid donkey flogging could have gone into the contract somewhere. I didn't read that part out loud though.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
frigidfire86
Member
Member # 32324
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, June 25th (Monday)

For all of you that enjoyed reading the Fifty Shades books, you should check out Bared To You by Sylvia Day, and the sequel that will come out soon Deeper Into You. I enjoyed it much more than Fifty Shades.


Me: 28
Him: 29
Married 8 years
Daughter, 7 yrs old
D-Day: 05/08/2011

Posts: 608 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Germany
whensitover
Member
Member # 31207
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, June 27th (Wednesday)

I just started this book and last week I accidently locked my keys in my car and when I called a lock smith, there were several people gathered around my car trying to help get my keys out when I noticed lying on the front seat was my copy of Fifty Shades of Gray......I was mortified!! And to make it worse, they were almost all men except for 2 women and they both go to my church!!
I was like...God help me out here! But my subconscious was just laughing her butt off and pointing at me!! I wanted to throw myself on the windshield and scream!

[This message edited by whensitover at 10:13 AM, June 27th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 422 | Registered: Feb 2011
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, June 27th (Wednesday)

I was like...God help me out here! But my subconscious was just laughing her butt off and pointing at me!! I wanted to throw myself on the windshield and scream!

Epic!

DD got a hold of mine and handed it to my father when he was over. Yeah, we did NOT discuss that particular piece of literature.


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, June 27th (Wednesday)

Ladies, ladies, this is why god created e-readers.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
punky
Member
Member # 12233
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, June 27th (Wednesday)

Ok, I finally read these sons o' bitches. They were much more tame than I had expected. The repetition drove me crazy. I wanted to punch her inner goddess in the mouth.

I did vicariously enjoy the books for portraying that being taken care of aspect that so many of us are looking for.

But for the most part, not well written and quite predictable.

Going to look up that Sleeping Beauty thing.

[This message edited by punky at 6:57 PM, June 27th (Wednesday)]


Be a lion, not a mowess...
The Cowardly Lion

Posts: 11294 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: A whole 'nother country
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, June 28th (Thursday)

Seriously, if somebody wants to clutch the pearls/bro-beads over something I have dozens of abduction and enslavement books for them, and recently read a sweet, sentimental little thing that was full of pegging and anal fisting. Pitcher was a girl, though, so you know, small hands.

I was talking to NA recently and we mused that there is a great similarity between Regencies and the whole sekrit BDSM society thing. Both have very rigid social structures in place, rules of deportment, etc. One does not simply *walk* into Almack's, march up to some blushing thing in her first season or some arch widow or whatever and ask her to waltz. One must have an invitation from the patronesses, one must first be introduced to the lady in question, the lady in question must be someone the patronesses have given permission to waltz, and she must have a waltz open on her dance card, and everybody knows that two dances at one ball gets the side-eye and at three you just got engaged or called out by the Duke her brother. Similarly, one does not simply walk into the BDSM club and start tying up and flogging anyone that catches one's fancy, there are collars and rituals and sometimes color-coded bracelets and you guys know, all that stuff. So anyway, in each case, you've got strict guidelines for social interaction that must be followed. A dance at a ball = a scene at a club. Yadda yadda. There aren't really any rules for courtship these days. The BDSM world, as imagined in romance novels, is old fashioned and courtly. I imagine all that reads as quite comforting.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 9:50 AM, June 28th (Thursday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, June 28th (Thursday)

I just finished with the 3rd book.

Ok. I was so tired of hearing about her inner goddess...and I also wanted to punch her in the mouth.

The lip biting thing got old for me too, as did the "don't roll your eyes".

I enjoyed the parts of the story where he actually opened up about Mrs R...and his birth mother. I thought there could have been more story there.

I hated, HATED how stupid Ana was in the 3rd book re: Jack.

The scenes were............descriptive, and my fiance may or may not have benefited from my reading those.

All in all....I guess for what they are, they were ok. The characters were shallow....I mean she only ever describes Kate as being a hard core journalist, but that was supposed to be Ana's best friend? There just could have been more depth.

But then again, if there was more depth, there would have been less sex.

And really....WHO the fuck has sex 5 times a day? REALLY? And she wakes up at 2 or 3 in the morning, EVERY morning, ON WORK DAYS even, and has sex for 2 hrs, then goes back to sleep, then goes to work? Uh, yeah right. That's the fantasy part, I guess.

I have LOTS of friends who are all jelly kneed about how "romantic" the books are. And I just roll my eyes. (and hope I don't get spanked.)


Posts: 3082 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
notsosunnyhere
New Member
Member # 36040
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, July 7th (Saturday)

Read them all over a week. I laugh that they have so much conflict and fan addiction with them at the same time.

They sucked me in, but I wasn't reading them for literary purposes.


Posts: 11 | Registered: Jul 2012
caspers1wish
Member
Member # 28720
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, July 7th (Saturday)

I don't ever venture into the book club, but I saw this thread a while ago, and I just read the first book last week and wanted to put my thoughts out there.

I enjoy romance novels, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that this was a romance. I usually don't care for modern romances, and yet the characters seemed so out of sync with modern time, except for all Audi's and helicopters.

It ran typical of a romance. Experienced and rich older guy, meet virgin. Can I just say it's so annoying that virgins in romances just can't get enough of sex and the first time is just mind blowing and orgasm after orgasm, really?? That's not realistic is it? I'm biased the first time is bad, but maybe those are my jaded lens I have on.

I honestly thought the sex scenes were "vanilla." So was all the BDSM. Something I'd consider lady friendly porn...there's a plot and story line, not just (rough) sex.

At first I felt I could identify with Ana, I'm a submissive at heart, even though I do not have any formal experience in that sexual culture, I do know myself and where it comes from and have explored that side, safely and in a healthy manner.

And then halfway through the book...I realize I'm not Ana at all, I'm 50 shades of fucked up. I've only read the first book. And as a survivor of sexual abuse, and how that has shaped my sexuality, it ended up triggering me. I wish there had been a warning that Grey is the way he is and it's not normal, just normal to be seriously fucked up. Great, tell me something I don't know already. All the hype was about the BDSM, not this broken person with such darkness and pain inside.

So while I want to read the other books, I don't. I'll end up reading them just to see how (I) end up. And I have no idea what to say when someone asks me if I read it and how did I like it.

"Oh I could identify with both characters. Submissive Ana and fucked up Christian." Bleh.


Me - FWW (35)
Him - BH (34)
Kids - Ages 6, 8, 10
Married 13 years, together 18 years.
Last D-Day - November 2008

Posts: 700 | Registered: Jun 2010
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, July 9th (Monday)

Ah, I guess some of us will have to watch Guilty Pleasures on July 12th on PBS:

http://www.pbs.org/pov/guiltypleasures/

"...Guilty Pleasures" portrays five romance devotees who must, ultimately, find their dreams in the real world."

-JD


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2764 | Registered: Feb 2006
Kalleigh
Member
Member # 1214
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, July 9th (Monday)

I loved the books, the first 2 were my favorite, in fact I read them 3 times.
I am right now reading Bared for you. I dont think its as good as the Fifty books.


I love my husband and kids, but there is something missing, LIKE MAYBE A LIFE!!!!!!!

Posts: 6479 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: Wisconsin
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, July 10th (Tuesday)

Can I just say it's so annoying that virgins in romances just can't get enough of sex and the first time is just mind blowing and orgasm after orgasm, really??
I've often wondered why authors, who are almost exclusively not virgins themselves, choose to write about virgins except where necessary, i.e. historical context.

I never felt sentimental about my virginity. I really don't take my body all that personally, which is probably worth about a decade of therapy, but I never felt like I was a virgin even when I was a virgin because I just did not make a good virgin at all. Nobody seemed at all concerned with my virginal state in any way, for good or for ill. No creepy dudes trying to divest me of it, no creepy dudes trying to foist purity rings on me etc etc. I was a rather disconcerting, solemn acting child, so I think they just didn't associate me with anything innocent that needed protecting.

May I say that while I was a terrible virgin, I'm an awesome Mother, and I plan to be the Best. Crone. Ever.

But I digress.

Just musing, I think perhaps for women who don't share my weirdnesses, they can identify with the virgin's body in question since they used to be in something similar and probably also associate that with a time of freshness and innocence when they were protected and etc. etc.

I personally could not write a virgin. I don't know how they think. I don't know how they feel. They're totally alien to me.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
tsol25
Member
Member # 29461
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, July 10th (Tuesday)

So now they want to make 50 shares into a movie. I know ratings these days stew pretty liberal and production companies will do everything they can to stay out of an R rating. Well at last that's true in Canada, we have 18+ which keeps the door open for a larger audience; more money. So it's either going to be rated R *2 or black screen....eating....black screen....Charlie tango.....black screen?

Also they've made a sketch of Christian grey and it's not Ryan Gossling so I don't know what they're trying to do here. Ok maybe not Ryan, I thought Grey had darker hair and I don't know if Ryan could pull off the dye although in not saying it's not worth the try

ETA: I'm having some picture paying troubles from the phone. Just google it

ETA * 2: my new vote is Ian Somerhalder

[This message edited by tsol25 at 12:43 PM, July 10th (Tuesday)]


me - tsol, that's all for now

Posts: 1208 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Canada
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Cool  Posted: 8:50 PM, July 10th (Tuesday)

oh my ... finished the 1st one this past Sunday ... absolutely 10000000% addicted to them ...

Will get the other this weekend ... I didn't read through the thread cause I don't want to spoil anything ....

I will say there were a few times in the book I would have liked it written better ... But that is just semantics to me, I didn't read it hoping for great writing ...

I got everything I wanted from the book and then a lot I didn't want ... never the less my addiction to the love story/romance is strong ... Yes I said romance, I think Christian is FAR more romantic than his brother Elliot ...

AND I just learned they are making movies ... I am very displeased by this ... it is just going to ruin the books, ruin the story, the romance, the electric current ... I won't watch the movies, but you know how the media is it will be everywhere who the actors are and so on ...

I think it will go one of 3 ways ...

Get all Twilight like, as far as movie ...

Turn into some Lifetime movie thing ...

Or they will go to far and it will feel like a cheap rated porno ...

erotic and porno are 2 vastly different things for me anyway ...

Anyway I don't post in here hardly ever, but thought I would since I can ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, July 11th (Wednesday)

http://jezebel.com/5924957/james-deen-is-well-aware-that-he-looks-just-like-christian-grey

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Don't do it James, don't do it! It's bad enough that kink.com has you leading what amounts to gang rapes, but *this*?! This will ruin you!


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, July 11th (Wednesday)

t/j A guy I went to school with is going to be one of the producers for this movie. We were friends in elementary school! He also did The Social Network. It was very cool seeing him on tv when that movie won all those awards! end t/j


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 34735 | Registered: Sep 2007
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, July 11th (Wednesday)

A guy I went to school with is going to be one of the producers for this movie

Dude. I would so be calling in any favor I could to get on that set.

Classy favors of course - coffee girl? Orrr, um.... errand runner? Administrative assistant? Nail filer? ANYTHING!!!


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
not_a_martyr
Member
Member # 9518
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, July 11th (Wednesday)

I just have to share that I went to school with Ian Somerhalder's sister. *sigh*


I can't watch him as Grey. It would be weird. :(


me: 40
him: 38
us: in R


Posts: 5856 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Texas
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:22 AM, July 12th (Thursday)

Jrazz,

Lol! That was 6th grade and I don't think he'll remember me, being a big Hollywood producer and all .

So funny, he was this cute, goofy little Italian kid. My friend had a crush on him and we used to chase him around the schoolyard .


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 34735 | Registered: Sep 2007
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, July 15th (Sunday)

done ...

read both of them this weekend ...

Darker in about 16-18hrs Friday afternoon till Saturday afternoon ...

Freed in about 12-14 hrs ... Saturday afternoon till Sunday morning ...

Now I am going to start again but take my time reading them ... not just consume them ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, July 15th (Sunday)

I think I'm on my 4th re-read...

The writing's not even that good! What's my DEAL?


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, July 15th (Sunday)

by about 1/2 way through the 2nd book I was able to say what the characters were gonna say or think ... cause the author kept using the same lines/words ...

I laughed at myself cause I bought the box set after my cousin lent me her copy of the 1st one ... so I knew the writing was awful ... I didn't care was not reading it for the writing so paying the $45 for the box set was worth it ...

the books are soooo addictive, captivating, intoxicating on a whole different level I never knew ...

sooooooo pissed they are making movies ... there is no way they can adequately do the kinky fuckery and keep it rated R ... so they are gonna tame it WAY down ... gonna ruin the whole book. I.Will.Not.See.Them.

Even if Matthew McConaughey plays Grey ... can't be done

that's who I pictured Grey as, as I read the books ... oh my


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
positively4thst
Member
Member # 23998
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, July 15th (Sunday)

So, I purchased the first Twilight book because I was really curious about something that captured a teen girl's attention in this day and age that they felt was romantic and I saw as retro. I purchased the 2nd before I was done with the first and by the time I was done with the first, I had lost all interest and wondered why the heck I was reading a Twilight book!! I gave them away, before even breaking the cover of book #2.

50 shades is pretty much the same. Lots of hype, but mostly, I was extremely curious about S&M because I have never understood it, nor have I ever given it much thought beyond that. To me it's akin to exploring a different culture. So, I downloaded it to my kindle. Also, it was highly recommended by a fellow female coworker who read all three. Wow. So, initially it draws you in. There are a lot of grammatical errors but that seems to be common now I've found. But I was really curious about all those toys and what they do with them and why would you want to if they hurt. There was also a leadup in some paper about how it represents the new trend of CEO's hiring dominatrixes. Piqued my interest. So, while it educated me to the toys and the lifestyle, I became bored with the sex scenes pretty quickly. Right, this kind of sex 3+ times a day and after a while it was all the same. It started to bother me that it was so graphic. Because you already have done a play by play 30+ times before, nothing really has changed but the venue. This doesn't add anything to the plot and tends to become redundant and boring. It loses its authenticy which it could have maintained.

Oh MY! This thread has my inner goddess doing jumping jacks and hula hooping. Wtf.
Yeah, and this. Whenever she started talking about her inner goddess doing back flips or whatever, I felt like I was reading a fifth grader's journal and just skipped past all of that. I'm halfway through book 3 now and I also skip past the sex scenes at this point, they are completely meaningless to the story and makes me feel bad for the author's sons.

Just my humble opinion.

[This message edited by positively4thst at 8:59 PM, July 15th (Sunday)]


Posts: 1220 | Registered: May 2009
Escape artist
Member
Member # 34804
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, July 16th (Monday)

Yeah...I can't do it.
Tried to read the first one but it is really just like a modern day Mills & Boon....found it ridiculous & boring.
Didn't find it interesting nor titillating.
Didn't finish it, won't be continuing.

FYI I like erotic fiction, but this I feel is not very good at all. However, anything that gets people back into books and away from social media has to be a good thing. To each his own.

JMHO.


I gave you enough rope to hang yourself.
Me BS 48
Him WS 54
False DDay 06/02/12
3 simultaneous EA's
Multiple DDays thru till 16th April 2012
Disclosed PA 16th April 2012
Reality- alot sicker than I realized .......

Posts: 202 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Australia
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, July 19th (Thursday)

Someone posted this pic because it was funny that the books were stocked with batteries.... but what the heck is the one with the key on it? Dr. Google is NOT being helpful....



For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Lucky2HaveMe
Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, July 19th (Thursday)

It is an alternate cover for the third book "Freed"


~L2HM~
Every Storm Runs out of Rain ~ Gary Allen

Posts: 5471 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
flygirl123
Member
Member # 32672
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, July 22nd (Sunday)

Love these books. Finishing Book #3 now. Definately worth the read. And no triggers that I have found. Lots of wishful thinking...but no triggers.


Me...40 and fabulous
WXH...just plain stupid
DS's...9,7 and 6
DDays that are too numerous to mention...but no longer have relevance.

Posts: 230 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Illinois Cornfields
lux444
Member
Member # 30527
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, July 22nd (Sunday)

I tried reading the first chapter and so far I can't get past the first few pages, it does not hold my interest at all. I am going to try again tonight and see if I can read a little more and maybe pick up my interest.


Cheat On A Good Woman and Karma Will Make Sure You End Up With The Bitch You Deserve!

Posts: 113 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Never Never Land
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, July 22nd (Sunday)

I'm borrowing book #1 tomorrow from a coworker. I'm REALLY looking forward to it.


Me - Now 35 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1687 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
punky
Member
Member # 12233
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, July 22nd (Sunday)

I found myself skipping through the sex scenes as well. So between that and the writing, not really sure why I read these.


Be a lion, not a mowess...
The Cowardly Lion

Posts: 11294 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: A whole 'nother country
UKgirl
Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:40 AM, July 23rd (Monday)

I've not read 50 Shades - yet. I'm still doing Stieg Larsson trilogy and reading The Girl Who Played With Fire.

However - the photo was taken in a Sainsbury's supermarket (the bags on each side). The one with the key is 50 Shades Freed. We often have different covers, so maybe this is the case?

Anyway, I think I'm going to have to get the first one as my next read.

Why have trilogies become so frickin popular???


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 6:00 AM, July 23rd (Monday)

I'm surprised it's only a trilogy. If she hadn't published 50 Shades Freed way way before the thing became so successful she'd still be dragging it out.

I haven't read Freed and barely remember the first two, but are there any extra male characters lying around in that series who could be the lead in a follow on series?


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, July 24th (Tuesday)

http://india.nydailynews.com/business/b479a79307c1f75d5337ca804657124a/emma-watson-in-fifty-shades-of-grey-movie

50 lashes to Gryffindor.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I bought this book for my Kindle despite being told it sucks writing-wise. I am now seven chapters in and I must say, I'm getting a tad tired of Ana "peeking up" at Grey and constantly saying "oh my" to herself.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 6931 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Lucky2HaveMe
Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I am almost finished with the 1st book... I am really tired of her inner goddess!

Its an entertaining read, but not a gripping story... not much of a plot, tho I am told the plot develops in the next 2 books?


~L2HM~
Every Storm Runs out of Rain ~ Gary Allen

Posts: 5471 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Oh yeah, I could kick her inner goddess in the ass.

Edited to add: And I doubt I'll see the next two books.

[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 1:06 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 6931 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
movingforward777
Member
Member # 6850
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, July 29th (Sunday)

I've read the first book and now 1/2 way through the second....it's keeping me interested enough to keep going...a nice "vacation" read....
All I can say is Ana sure learned fast for a "virgin"....lol


You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith

Posts: 4775 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Ontario
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, July 30th (Monday)

I caved and read them all too. I was glad that the second book explained so much more but the 3rd book was almost ridiculous with ALL the stuff that happened.

I'm not a literary super freak, but I agree they're not well written and were so predictable. And his wealth is so over the top ridiculous that it wasn't easy to 'relate' to, if that makes sense.

I didn't care much for the grapic scenes.

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 2:57 PM, July 30th (Monday)]


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
GingerBird
Member
Member # 19097
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, July 30th (Monday)

I haven't read all the responses so sorry if I'm repeating anything... I read a review that was mainly very good but it started with the line "If you can get over the heroine's shocking lack of self-esteem....."

I'm still trying to get over my own shocking lack of self esteem from my last relationship, so i've avoided it.

Happy to be told that's not the case with the book.... I'm still curious


"True happiness does not come from experiencing pleasures of the body and ego—but from having experiences that stimulate your core self—your “soul”—challenging and inspiring you to grow into your highest potential as a person"

Posts: 836 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: UK
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, July 30th (Monday)

I just started and
the heroine's shocking lack of self-esteem
quite honestly is working my last nerve.


FWW - 40
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent...

Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, July 31st (Tuesday)

My credulity was strained to its breaking point by how naive the heroine is. In this day and age, she'd have to be living under a freaking boulder to stay so very untouched, literally and figuratively. She went to university; it's not like she lived in a Mennonite community. Good God!


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 6931 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, July 31st (Tuesday)

Most of those problems could've been avoided if she'd just set it before, say, 1994. She's written like a college student from when *I* was in college.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, July 31st (Tuesday)

I agree with the both you, ladyV & lynn....her character is damn annoying and as a result, I'm reading this book at a glacial pace, which is not my norm.


FWW - 40
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent...

Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
movingforward777
Member
Member # 6850
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 2nd (Thursday)

I'm now 1/2 way through the 3rd book and must say I have enjoyed the read.....on the other hand, the characters are driving me nuts!
He is so overbearing and boorish in so many ways (not just sexually), she is so naive and a wimp......I couldn't imagine settling every disagreement/argument/difference of opinions with him tearing off my clothes and abusing the hell out of me...well maybe....lol
I hope young girls reading this series don't think that's how its "supposed to be"....I know my daughter has more brains than that....thank God!


You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith

Posts: 4775 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Ontario
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, August 2nd (Thursday)

I hope young girls aren't reading this series. Under 18 shouldn't be allowed to read it, and college girls should have better things to do.

Ladypr0n is for us Olds.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, August 2nd (Thursday)

I kinda feel like by the end, Anastasia has really 'come around', almost like she's the dom in the relationship (but not the bedroom)?

As my GF said, they're good summer reads. After I'm done loaning them out - I'll probably donate them or something b/c they're not books I'd want on my bookshelf at home.


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, August 2nd (Thursday)

I'm really just "meh" with it so far.


FWW - 40
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent...

Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, August 2nd (Thursday)

She totally is the dom the whole time.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
stupidstupidme
Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, August 2nd (Thursday)

I couldn't imagine settling every disagreement/argument/difference of opinions with him tearing off my clothes and abusing the hell out of me...well maybe....lol


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19682 | Registered: Aug 2006
asurvivor
Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 12:24 AM, August 27th (Monday)

OK, So I get this on Audio with every woman I know saying you will hate it...I made it approximately 45 seconds before I deleted it from my IPod. Sometimes I should really listen to my women friends.


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 421 | Registered: Jun 2011
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, August 29th (Wednesday)

Some one posted that there is going to be a 4th Shades.

Say it ain't so. As I read more books and farther from the kool-aid the more both Anna and Gray come across as seventeen yr olds.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1535 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
Lucky
Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 1:15 AM, August 30th (Thursday)


1st book - worst writing ever.

2nd book - plan to re-read it and count how many times the author used the words "pant", "panted", Panting"...

3rd book - plan to re-read and count how many times the author used the words "gape", "gaped", "gapes"


And I thought twilight was terrible - ok, it is.


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
CallMeRed
Member
Member # 36312
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, August 30th (Thursday)

I have too many books I really want to read to be reading this to be honest.

I know so many very skilled writers now that when I hear a book is "badly written" I run for the hills.

Also a mother outside my childrens' school told me (very loudly ) that "there is much better erotica out there. So that was nice.


D-Day 19 July 2012
Me - BS - 41
Him - WH - 40
Stepchild: 16 Children: 9, 8, 5
Together 14 years, married 10.5 years.
Status: aiming for R with a Plan B just in case.

Posts: 275 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: England
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, August 30th (Thursday)

Lucky, re-read book one and count how many times she says "oh, my" and "inner goddess".


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 6931 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, August 30th (Thursday)

how many times she says "oh, my" and "inner goddess".
OMG! that drove me bananas too! if I read another "my inner goddess is......" I'm going to snap!


FWW - 40
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent...

Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Lucky
Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, August 30th (Thursday)

OMG lynn!!!

YES! I was just telling a friend, who hasn't read them, I knew I was over looking something in the first book.


~ Lucky's inner goddess

[This message edited by Lucky at 1:48 PM, August 30th (Thursday)]


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
used2bestrong
Member
Member # 34372
Default  Posted: 5:11 AM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Worst book ever. The writing was horrible. I also thought it was triggery - very schmoopie with the entire relationship based on sex....no depth or substance. No 22 yr old talks like she does and she "whispers" everything.


BS - me
WS - husband
4 children - all teens
D-day 6/15/11.

Posts: 599 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Ohio
sunflower01
Member
Member # 35847
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, September 4th (Tuesday)

I just started reading this book..before I knew it I was on chapter 11!! I did find the first sexual experience VERY triggery, so I did have to walk away for a while and go for a swim.

Anyhow, all I'm gonna say is HOLY COW...not such a good book to read while still living under the same roof as STBXWH lol

Also I do have to agree that the heroin's lack of self esteem is irritating and her 'inner goddes' is going to make me snap too lol


Me BS: 35
XWS: 35
OP: 30
DD: 5/30/2012
Length of Affair: 6 yrs w/ my BF
DIVORCED

Posts: 57 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: sunflower01
imagoodwitch
Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, September 7th (Friday)

Late to the party for this one.

Just started reading it last night.

The elevator scene in the beginning just about killed me, in a good way though!

Alas, it's just a book

Shit like that never happens in real life, right?


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5137 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
imagoodwitch
Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, September 10th (Monday)

Okay, so I started the first book Thursday night....... I finished the second book last night and can't wait to get my hands on the third!


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5137 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
nowwhatdoIdo2012
Member
Member # 36602
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, September 10th (Monday)

I have been reading the 1st book a friend had given it to me to read. I didn't know there were 2 more books!


BS 45 (me)
WH 46
DDay 6/25/12 (the day he told me about his 2 As; he was stunned when I said I still wanted to work on our marriage)

Posts: 62 | Registered: Aug 2012
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

What do you think of this picture?

Matt Bomer:

My BFF totally think this is Grey...

[This message edited by JustDone at 8:44 PM, September 15th (Saturday)]


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2764 | Registered: Feb 2006
Lucky2HaveMe
Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

Nah... my Mr Gray has longer toussled hair. This guy is too pretty.


~L2HM~
Every Storm Runs out of Rain ~ Gary Allen

Posts: 5471 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

No. Grey is Matthew McConaughey ...

I know he is too old for the part. In my mind though he is the epitome of Grey.

I will not go see the movie, and I am totally against the movies. Either a sleazy porn or it will be so edited and cut it should be on the lifetime network, as a movie of the week.

[This message edited by booger bear at 9:52 PM, September 15th (Saturday)]


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
imagoodwitch
Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, September 17th (Monday)

When I think Christian Grey.....

I think Christian Bale

swoon!!!!!!


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5137 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
whensitover
Member
Member # 31207
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, September 17th (Monday)

Just finished the last book last night, sorry but, I thought it was the most poorly written book I have ever read. I grew so tired of the sex scenes and honestly I had to force myself to finish it. If I had to read "Mr Grey" Or "Mrs. Grey" (seriously?? they seriously call each other this ALL the time??) ONE more time, I would have threw up! Basically the sex scenes are the only thing that keep this book afloat, other than that, it had no core, no depth and could have been written by a hormonal 16yr old. I have heard it was a Twilight fan fiction but other than the fact that Edward and Christian are both males and Bella and Anastasia are both females, I could not find one single correlation between the two-nothing.I enjoyed Twilight a million times better, just a big waste of time, IMHO.

[This message edited by whensitover at 9:57 AM, September 17th (Monday)]


Posts: 422 | Registered: Feb 2011
rollercoaster80
Member
Member # 23412
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, September 17th (Monday)

I read it a few months ago....and I agree with the last poster. Enjoyed the first book but sometimes I like to read things that are what I consider like "junk food" Fun once in a while but not in a large dose. It reminded me of the romance magazines my sister and I would sneak and read as teens....the men were usually rich and always handsome and there was some kind of scandelous activity but deep down the person was good and the would say think like "my inner goddess" or "his manhood" I read most of book two but then the predictability and silly sayings kind of got to me and I did not order the third in the series and doubt I will.

It was a kind of fun "junk food" read. I also will read things like Archie comics or Mad magazine or the Enquirer....they are fun to read but not as a steady diet.....JMO

I was surprised that the book is as popular as it has become.


me 55 fbw
him 67 FWH/SA
married 32 years
together 31 years my whole adult life!
4 s, 1 stepd, 2 grand kids

multiple A's, 2 LTA's,multiple indescretions...before and throughout our marriage


Posts: 1047 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: sarasota, fl
jean
Member
Member # 6387
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)

I said no way would I read these books. I was the same about Harry Potter.
However my friend came to stay and brought the three books with her. I just had a little look, and was hooked
I really do not think they are badly written. I did not expect Shakespeare, just a "page turner"
If a film is made I cannot think who will play Mr Grey, although Matt Bomer looks good, although I have no idea who he is

Posts: 5927 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: England
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Suspicious  Posted: 5:52 PM, September 29th (Saturday)

Had to read it because the local library has banned it.
Trashy junk food book. If I have to read 'inner goddess' or 'don't bite your lip' one more time I will poke my eyes out. And please who gets an Audi for a gift after knowing someone just a few weeks and a helicopter ride really. And lots of other very unbelievable not very realistic type stuff.
In true junk food form, it's ok once in awhile but a steady diet of this stuff um no. Book one was enough for me. Sex scenes kinda got me going, but I enjoy reading erotica fiction. I feel sorry for real people actors in porn is why I don't look at it.

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Dec 2009
SouthernGal
Member
Member # 27315
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, September 30th (Sunday)

I read all three books in rapid succession, in large part because people were making such a big deal out of them.

I was both interested and disappointed at the same time.

I was interested because there was great potential in the character of Christian Grey - seeing how he fleshed out as a person.

I was disappointed for many reasons.

1 - the writing was awful, horrible even. I hoped it would get better as the series progressed and the author found her feet (kind of like the increased writing quality of the Harry Potter books). It never happened.

2 - The sex scenes were pretty bland. For a book that was "scandalous" and supposedly about the D/s relationship it was all surprisingly vanilla after the first scene in the playroom.

3 - The final book was too fantastical. Nobody has that much shit happen to them.

4 - I started to really dislike Anastasia. What a wuss. I mean fine you want to be with a guy who is into D/s relationships ... either be a true submissive or walk away. But this half of the time being too strong willed to submit but then also being too weak willed to really stand up for what you want ... make up your mind chick.

5 - In spite of all of the potential to really turn C.G. into a multidimensional character the author took the past of the least resistance and made him just another KISA who starts out as a bit of a jerk but is transformed by true love.

It was too predictable.

And yes - the 'inner goddess' was kind of cute once or twice but after the 3rd or 4th reference it made me want to scream.


BS (Me) XWH (him) M nearly 16 yrs
1 DD (teens)
D-day #1 12/09, #2 2/10
Divorced 10/6/10

Posts: 3862 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The Deep (Fried) South
Diva0702
Member
Member # 32309
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, September 30th (Sunday)

I read all three in rapid succession as a friend who is a journalist had asked me to review them for him. The big hype about the BDSM scenes and settings were overrated. The writer didn't do enough research into it to give credence to it's reality. Yes, play rooms and dungeons are a part of the scene, but in these books were not evaluated correctly, and something was lost in missing their point.

Anyway, the whole story becomes rather mundane and tediously predictable by the third and final book. Despite the beginning of the trilogy alluding to something more than vanilla to tantalise and tease the reader, it rapidly becomes evident that it is rather an immature attempt at a lop-sided love story, under the pretence of a knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle and it's connotations. Very sweet, but more comparable to the writings of a teenager than a woman with experience. In all, the writing was rather unexciting

[This message edited by Diva0702 at 4:28 PM, September 30th (Sunday)]


Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: UK
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 6:19 AM, October 1st (Monday)

Yeah, but...

It's a romance novel, not a how-to guide, or lit fic. Her depiction fits right in with the depictions of BDSM all over Romancelandia.

In my experience, BDSM involves people who are not necessarily attractive doing things that are not going to play as romantic. For example, I once watched a very (very) overweight older lady stick needles all over a guy who was maybe 21 or so. Interesting? Sorta. Consensual. Definitely. Something that can be described in a way that even approaches romantic? Well...not gonna rule it out, but even if it could, it's not going to sell.

In Romancelandia, every single American city somehow supports a number of thriving BDSM clubs. Men can actually make a living being professional doms *with only female clients*. The clubs are gorgeous and expensive, as are the dudes. If anyone isn't gorgeous it's the women. There are a far higher than average number of overweight heroines in BDSM romance. Everyone wanders around essentially roleplaying as if they are actually living in a legitimate BDSM universe or something. The focus is on rules of behavior, rules of approach, etc.

Similarly, imagine how people during the Regency smelled. How their teeth looked. How the women had all their body hair. How there were actually only 8 dukes in England, excluding royal dukes.

But in Romancelandia, the leads bathe every day, the heroine notes his flashing white teeth, the hero notes her smooth skin, and there are like 20,000 dukes.

The appeal of BDSM romance and Regency historical romance is the same, I think. It's an imaginary rarefied world of its own where there are rules for how men and women relate. A man cannot approach a woman at Almack's to whom he has not been introduced, nor can he touch some girl that's wearing a certain kind of wrist cuff or whatever that book has set up. Mdom/fsub romance is so deliberately old fashioned and courtly. Plus both have very nice extravagant costumes. This is popular for the same reason I like to play video games just long enough to outfit my character: sometimes I'm just in it for the clothes.

So anyway, I think there is an extremely low chance of someone reading this stuff and going out and getting herself in trouble. For one thing, when she walks in and notes that the male population contains an alarming number of neckbeards, she will likely peace-out. If she stays past that she is probably serious, or at least really enjoys wearing that corset, which hey, how often do you get to wear a corset? You got Ren Faire and you got this.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 6:24 AM, October 1st (Monday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
veritas
Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, October 1st (Monday)

I have to say, I do like the clothes and have worn a corset or two in my time and may even have a riding crop and some shoes with 7-inch heels that I can barely walk in, but poorly written is unforgivable for me. I also read somewhere that CG comes off as personality-disordered (totally triggery!), which would stop me reading from jump. I've also read a fair bit of fetish material, and plain old material on people's fetishes, and it's always fascinating to me what turns people on. Bad pickup lines are not it and cheesy material does nothing for me. I started off in Romancelandia reading Barbara Cartlands, but I haven't read one in decades. I doubt that I could read one now. Cuz, I like, hit puberty and got laid. And having read a truly compelling book like Topping from Below, it's kind of hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

At the same time, I'm not a dominatrix, nor could I tolerate being a submissive. For me to set up my shingle and say, I have the clothes, and I can be bad or good, and I can talk dirty, and come up with some witty repartee, so I'm BDSM... I personally can't say that, even in Romancelandia.

[This message edited by veritas at 7:56 PM, October 1st (Monday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, October 21st (Sunday)

Went to Fall Festival at baby_v's school yesterday and one of the auction baskets the third grade had done was a "Date Night" basket and prominently featured above all other contents was the 50 Shades trilogy.

This has gotten entirely out of hand and must stop now.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
hurtandscared30
New Member
Member # 37127
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, October 21st (Sunday)

Like so many others, I read the trilogy because so many of my friends were raving about it. The writing was definitely terribly, though I did really enjoy some of the scenes. There were a couple of mentions of the Sleeping Beauty series...it really is much better! Haven't really read much good erotica though.


BS: Me 30
WS: Him 33
DD: 19 months old
DS: 6 months old
D-day 1: August 19th 2012
D-day 2: August 30th
D-day 3: September 5th
D-day 4: October 2nd

Posts: 35 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Washington
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, October 21st (Sunday)

I was in the elevator at work like 2 weeks ago. There was a gal in there w/ her book, underarm. Then some kid walks in, that she apparently knows. He's like what are you reading?

She shows him the book, 50...

Who admits to reading it for one, to a co-worker (a dude; that she's not interested in, it wasn't flirty...) AT work?!

I've seen her in the breakroom reading since and I'm all like grossed out now.


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, October 31st (Wednesday)

Okay, just stumbled upon this thread. I read the books quite a while ago and I agree with a lot of the comments about it being poorly written, etc. There were too many sex scenes, to the point where I would skim through them thinking, "Yeah, yeah another screaming orgasm, can we move on please."

But what I really wanted to say, is that this morning while I was making tea this book popped into my head. Ana liked to drink tea in the book, but "weak tea". It was described as taking a tea bag and dunking it in a mug of hot water. BITCH THAT IS NOT TEA!!!! It's not even weak tea, it's colored hot water. For some reason this annoyed me this morning and thought I would share with all you lovely people.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

"People who live in a glass house have to answer the door" -Karl Pilkington


Posts: 989 | Registered: Jul 2012
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, December 4th (Tuesday)

Ok, so I actually read this last week. I'd read the first but mostly forgot about it, and I think I started the second and stopped. This was before it went huge. I decided that since I am frequently lured into discussions about it EVERYWHERE ON THE INTERNET, I should actually evaluate it, so I read the whole thing.

I have Thoughts. However, I want to say this:

I can see why so many people are shocked! SHOCKED! I tell you. Because it certainly is shocking. I was absolutely gobsmacked. I had to re-read sections over and over to make sure that I was really reading what I thought I was reading. Say what you will about E.L. James, but she certainly knows how to push the envelope...

...I mean, I cannot *believe* she made him a *ginger*.

SHOCKED. It's just not DONE.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 7:23 AM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
galaxyhunter
New Member
Member # 36939
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)

This review sums up my feelings on the books.

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215


BS-Me-31
WS-Him-31
D-day 4-2012
R-not even close


Posts: 22 | Registered: Sep 2012
ladyvorkosigan
Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)

Ehh...

I don't think anyone who isn't either a romance reader, a fanfic enthusiast, or that rarest of creatures, a non-romance reader who lacks an agenda, can really offer a measured reaction. It's just so saturated in genre tropes that reading it and being surprised and outraged at every. single. detail. like that is like reading a spy thriller and being surprised and outraged that the technology described just isn't realistic and like way too James Bond. Hello, it's James Bond-y because it's *the same genre*.

The only things that GoodReads reviewer mentioned that stood out to me are about his $$$ and the language used to describe sex organs.

He's only 27 years old. He's only been in business 6 years. And he's a damn *shipping magnate*. We haven't had shipping magnate heroes since the mid 1970s. That kind of billionaire is ancient and wrinkled. That kind of billionaire is not a 27-yo who didn't inherit his wealth.

And it was unnecessary to describe him as being *that* wealthy when he could've easily had like maybe $200m. Why you gotta say billionaire? His lifestyle is entirely supportable on a couple hundred million. And for god's sake just have him be in tech. It's not at all unbelievable that a 21-yo could build a business that made him several hundred million dollars. I mean Zuckerberg, right? Considering there's no such thing as a major sf/fantasy con that isn't accompanied by it's very own play party it's a natural fit. Nerds are kinky as fuck. This article is a good one:

http://io9.com/5928739/the-secrets-of-geek-mating-rituals

Makes perfect sense why so many people who are into BDSM are nerds.

As far as the language goes, I am at the point where I find it distracting when people don't just say cock or pussy or c*nt. She never uses those. It's always "his erection" or "her sex." Which it could be worse, and since it's first person...well, she probably would choose that language.

So since I was able to ignore everything that's just standard issue for the genre, I was able to focus on other things. I actually thought it was intelligent about the politics of relationships, particularly when the participants are both very young and both totally inexperienced, like these two were. One thing that's always interesting to me is when a character says "This is how I am, this is what I require," and then proceeds to not be that way and not require anything. Unreliable narrators, man.

We always bring to relationships a set of expectations that are a blend of what we really find important and what we think we're supposed to find important. You have to learn the difference, because only the former are hills you want to die on.

I enjoyed the fact that he very easily diagnosed that in her, but failed to notice that there was nothing in his contract he gave an actual fuck about, nor did he give an actual fuck about getting it signed. The waxing part was the hilarious part to me. By the time 2.5 books later she got around to going hmm, Imma go get waxed, he's like "Wait, what? You didn't do that because you thought I wanted you to, right?" I mean SERIOUSLY. I don't get how people actually think he's controlling. What exactly does he manage to control? He makes himself over to please her. Sure, she gets a makeover, but that's mostly about *shopping*. He's the one sitting around waiting for her to tell him what to do and how to be.

I also thought it did probably the best job I've ever seen done with the topic of Emotional Affairs. They may not have had the language to be able to name them EAs, and like most people think the only As are PAs, but all those things with the exes and the Nice Guys (TM) she's friends with...all EAs. And just as frustrating to deal with and to get each other to *see* as it is IRL.

I've read reviewers who thought his feelings about her EAs meant he was controlling, but is it actually all that unreasonable to be all, "You know your best guy friend that I saw trying to take advantage of you when you were drunk that one time and called me to pick you up? Since you are my girlfriend, I don't want you going out with him, particularly not alone. When you attend an event he's going to be attending, I'll come with you." I mean, people of SI, is that unreasonable?

Neither is it controlling of her to be like, "So since you're my boyfriend, I have to tell you I don't care for how all these former women of yours still rely on you emotionally and financially, and I particularly dislike how you keep telling that older lady who molested you when you were a teenager allllll about *our* relationship when you go out to dinner with her which you don't even MENTION TO ME until it's already happened."

Again, NOT unreasonable, not controlling. Good sense. But nobody calls her controlling, because I guess only men can be controlling? If so, he's the Worst. Controller. Ever. because he never actually successfully controls anything. When they change something about themselves for the other, it's through communication and compromise, not control.

I remembered, re-reading the first one, why I put it down. I was very upset about his failure to recognize what was done to him as abuse, and that Mrs. Robinson is a pedo. But that isn't fair to the author, and I recognized that later on. If your story is about your characters re-processing their pasts and reaching a better understanding of themselves, you do actually have to let them display a poor understanding of their pasts and themselves.

To sum up, I thought it was sweet, funny, and wise, and lord_v is reading it now because I was like "I RENOUNCE ALL THAT BAD STUFF I SAID ABOUT 50 SHADES YOU HAVE TO READ IT" and he trusts me.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 3:59 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14221 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
FeelsSoRight
Member
Member # 28377
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, April 18th (Thursday)

Ok - I know I'm SUPER late to the show, but I just finished reading the 3rd and (for now) final book of the 50 Shades trilogy.

I loved them, but not for the kinky fuckery (as Ana calls it)...I loved the fact that the author showed people with real flaws...some pretty messed up ones at that...and how they worked through them and made their lives better. (I swear I kept thinking of how the tv show character "Dexter" is like Christian Grey in his brokenness but yet trying to be "normal")

The kinky stuff wasn't quite as "out there" as I had thought it would be with all the hub-bub I had heard.

All that aside, it was not very well written. The author could have used a thesaurus to not repeat the same word 90 million times (Mercurial for instance...)

But overall, I loved the very slow, very real transformation of the characters. They did not change overnight. They are still not perfect, but they are trying.

Ok, sorry I just opened a thread from over 4 months ago


Me - W - 48
Him - H - 47
Together since we were 14/15
Married 27 yrs in August (renewed our vows in 2011-H's idea!)
DD-23, DS-15
Separated for 7 mos & were 3 wks from divorce when we reconciled
Happily R for almost 4 years

Posts: 1450 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: MO
BIZZYBEEZ
Member
Member # 37645
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, May 3rd (Friday)

I'm just about done with the 2nd one & have the 3rd one ready to read on my Nook. I love it so far. For the most part I only read True Crime books & I have to say I am thoroughly enjoying this series. The BDSM is mild compared to what I was expecting. Not for everyone but I look forward to it every night.


BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 39
DDay - 10/22/2012 (worst day of my life)

Learning to breathe again - one day at a time


Posts: 235 | Registered: Nov 2012
RuinedMusketeer
New Member
Member # 40248
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, August 10th (Saturday)

If you love 50 Shades, read the Crossfire books by Sylvia Day. They are similar but different. Bared to You is the first one of the series. There are 3 books out now and two yet to come.


"What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"

Me: FWS/BW from 1st marriage
Him: BS, fabulous love of my life
Us: Reconciled with struggles


Posts: 6 | Registered: Aug 2013
MrsDoubtfire
Member
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, August 10th (Saturday)

Got to page 32 of book 2 and realised my granny probably wrote this as the author clearly has no idea how to write eroticism! It's clichéd and the sex scenes are hardly erotic!!

Hated it.


BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†

Posts: 1528 | Registered: Jul 2009
Jennifer99
Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, August 11th (Sunday)

Read 3 chapters. Could not stand anymore. Think horrible lame free ebook then add the most obnoxious characters you can think of. Better things to read.

[This message edited by Jennifer99 at 9:12 AM, August 12th (Monday)]


Posts: 524 | Registered: Jun 2013
Jennifer99
Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, August 11th (Sunday)

Aha, figuring out I can edit posts.

[This message edited by Jennifer99 at 9:12 AM, August 12th (Monday)]


Posts: 524 | Registered: Jun 2013
frigidfire86
Member
Member # 32324
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, August 12th (Monday)

Crossfire novels! Yes! Sylvia Day is a much better writer than E.L. James. Read them!

Bared To You
Reflected In You
Entwined With You
...and 2 more coming out!


Me: 28
Him: 29
Married 8 years
Daughter, 7 yrs old
D-Day: 05/08/2011

Posts: 608 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Germany
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, August 12th (Monday)

You can get it pretty cheap on amazon if you buy it used.

Btw, i read that there's already a terrible porno version of the first book floating around.


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 790 | Registered: Sep 2012
FeelsSoRight
Member
Member # 28377
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)

I agree with frigidfire...the Crossfire books are very similar to 50 Shades of Grey but Sylvia Day can actually write. Although, just gotta say...could live the rest of my life without reading/hearing the word "cleft" again...lol...(Read the Crossfire series and you'll know what I mean)


Me - W - 48
Him - H - 47
Together since we were 14/15
Married 27 yrs in August (renewed our vows in 2011-H's idea!)
DD-23, DS-15
Separated for 7 mos & were 3 wks from divorce when we reconciled
Happily R for almost 4 years

Posts: 1450 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: MO
NWfleur
Member
Member # 35874
Default  Posted: 2:14 AM, August 26th (Monday)

Tried to read it but the writing was so bad and the characters so two dimensional it kept kicking my mind out of the story. It reads like an internet self-publish - not even the good-bad writing of a Harlequin romance.
I like a good sexy book, but I have to be able to let my mind follow along with the images - the writing was so bad that just couldn't happen.

^This. Exactly. I was almost laughing at how distractingly bad the writing was. I could get past how unrealistic the story was if the writing was clever. To me it's similar to the porn version of Twilight. But if you don't expect quality, it might be a fun read...


Me BS (39)
Him WS (36)
2 DS
M: 9 years (together 13)
DD: 4/10/2012
(Separated since 12/11...affair began ??!!)

Divorced!!!


Posts: 307 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: USA
Trying33
Member
Member # 38815
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

It was a great read for me. Granted, I can't take much literature refinement with my brain right now so it was just pure escapism..

C Grey was an interesting character.. I liked him.. her not so much


Posts: 354 | Registered: Mar 2013
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

They cast the movie.

I'm uber disappointed in the guy they picked for Christian.

http://movies.yahoo.com/news/dakota-johnson-cast-anastasia-steele-fifty-shades-grey-152448818.html


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

Charlie Hunnam?

As Christian Grey?

Naaaaaaaaa


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2764 | Registered: Feb 2006
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

Jrazz, I see Dakota Johnson more than him...


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2764 | Registered: Feb 2006
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Charlie Hunnam?

I gave up reading early into the second book, figured if the rest of the story was worth anything I could just watch the movie. Now I'm not so sure. It's hard enough trying to suffer through Hunnam on SoA. Terrible writing vs. terrible acting, is their a good synopsis out there somewhere?


Posts: 2967 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
cluless
Member
Member # 40538
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

The first two books of this series woke up my sexuality. I had it so buried I didn't even know how much I was missing.

The third book was such a let down, I put it down and never even finish it. But the book gives you some great ideas, things you never knew possible and it certainly peaked my interest


WH 56
BS 54 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 4th D-Day 10-14. 5th D-Day 10-31-13
Married 15 yrs, together 19.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.


Default Posted: 12:11 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2008 View P


Posts: 150 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oceanside
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

I've read reviewers who thought his feelings about her EAs meant he was controlling, but is it actually all that unreasonable to be all, "You know your best guy friend that I saw trying to take advantage of you when you were drunk that one time and called me to pick you up? Since you are my girlfriend, I don't want you going out with him, particularly not alone. When you attend an event he's going to be attending, I'll come with you." I mean, people of SI, is that unreasonable?

Neither is it controlling of her to be like, "So since you're my boyfriend, I have to tell you I don't care for how all these former women of yours still rely on you emotionally and financially, and I particularly dislike how you keep telling that older lady who molested you when you were a teenager allllll about *our* relationship when you go out to dinner with her which you don't even MENTION TO ME until it's already happened."

Again, NOT unreasonable, not controlling. Good sense. But nobody calls her controlling, because I guess only men can be controlling? If so, he's the Worst. Controller. Ever. because he never actually successfully controls anything. When they change something about themselves for the other, it's through communication and compromise, not control.

I was not the biggest fan of the book...read the first one, didn't get all the attention. That being said, I think these ^^^ are excellent points. The more I read up on boundaries within relationships, the more that I think *most people* have unhealthy relationships...because what most of us in the Infidelity-forum would call "healthy boundaries", an awful lot of the outside worlds call "controlling" or "trying to control". Just a thought.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, October 4th (Friday)

The more I read up on boundaries within relationships, the more that I think *most people* have unhealthy relationships...because what most of us in the Infidelity-forum would call "healthy boundaries", an awful lot of the outside worlds call "controlling" or "trying to control". Just a thought.

Part of the problem is people aren't taught healthy ways to communicate and exercise their boundaries. No one can fault you for walking away from a relationship that violates your boundaries, but staying in a relationship that doesn't respect them and insisting the other person change is going to be viewed as controlling, because, well, it is.


Posts: 2967 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
foundoutlater
Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, October 4th (Friday)

Part of the problem is people aren't taught healthy ways to communicate and exercise their boundaries. No one can fault you for walking away from a relationship that violates your boundaries, but staying in a relationship that doesn't respect them and insisting the other person change is going to be viewed as controlling, because, well, it is.

An even bigger problem I think is one person not feeling confident in their boundries, trying to mirror their significant others boundries and failing in that endeavor. Yeah I think the “controlling” the outside world sees in a relationship can have some of its roots in this.

And yeah there are plenty of people who would "fault you" for walking away.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1062 | Registered: Jul 2011
bunni972
Member
Member # 33690
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

Saw this post and thought I would ask everyone's opinion on the casting for the movie. what are your thoughts on Charlie being cast as Christian?


ME: BS 40
HIM: FWH 41
2 boys: 20, 17
DDay #1: October 17th 2011 (A w/ co-worker & visit with 2 "working girls"
DDay #2: September 20th 2013(A w/ girl from Craigslist. Had sex multiple times with 2 women he found on Ashley Madison.
Not s

Posts: 94 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: West Frankfort, IL
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

Just saw they are recasting Christian. Jamie Dornan is the new front runner, love it!

Posts: 2967 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
heforgot
New Member
Member # 40850
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

Ooooh! I love Jamie Dornan. I never thought of him as Christian, but not a bad choice.


Me: BW, 44
Him: WH, 47
3 kids
Married 19 years
DDay 11/1/09
Status: R and more in love than before!

Posts: 43 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: USA
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)

Thank GOODNESS. I was not seeing Charlie H at ALL.


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14698 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

I so detested this crap book and I can't believe that this thread has not died yet. Will it ever end????


Here's to A New Life of Excellent Health, Financial Abundance, Nature's Beauty, Amazing Art and Personal Creativity, with Love, Beauty and Peace All Around Us.

Posts: 5546 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: United States
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, October 20th (Sunday)

Lol. Troll much? You selected a thread (clearly, a popular one, considering the amount of pages) about a popular book in order to ask why the thread hasn''t ended yet...?


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 188