SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Wayward Side
User Topic: If You Love Two People...
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

I came across this on Pinterest. As rediculous as the above quote is, the comments were even more interesting. Everything from "love this quote! So true!" to "If that's how you really believe, you need to get your butt in therapy to find out what your deal is".

To just about everyone on SI, this one is a no-brainer. There is a difference between love and luuuurv, as folks around here put it.

Love is Mr. Aubrie accepting and adoring me at my best and absolute worst. Love is working all hours to provide for us. Love is making sacrifices for our family. Love is holding my hand while I puke my guts out. Love is being by my side thru 2 pregnancies. One, uneventful the other, stressed with suicidal tendencies and almost losing the baby during delivery. Love is sitting in the floor with me while I suffered a miscarriage. Love is late bills, flat tires, dirty laundry, morning breath and sleepy eyes, boring household chores, weeding the garden, bedtime stories, kids sneaking in our room during a thunderstorm, passing kisses in the hallway, burnt dinners and desserts that flopped. Love is when you confess the greatest hurt, you look up into their tear filled eyes and hear, "I forgive you. I will give you another chance. Do not mess this chance up. I love you and am willing to do what it takes to make this work." Love is dealing with the rollercoaster of R. Learning to communicate. Learning what makes us tick. Reliving nightmares from the past. Love is doing the hard work.

Lurv is the fantasy. Airbrushed, photoshopped images of us at our very best in the most flattering angles and light. It's well worded texts and emails that do nothing but flatter one another's egos. It's all "sweetness" and smiles. Rainbows and unicorns. It's sneaking around, and stolen moments. Moments that were taken from your real family. Lurv is an illusion, or more accurately, a delusion, or what the real thing is. Lurv is lying to the AP to make them feel better about themselves and yourself. You paint yourself as this amazing, can't live without it person. When in reality, you are both sadly, terribly broken.

I think for myself the answer is clear. I'll take the first one. And never, ever take it for granted again.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
GullibleGirl
Member
Member # 33580
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

You just HAD to go and make my emo butt cry, didn't you? Thanks, thanks for that!!!!


Me-FWW-48 He-BH-51 Separated
No kids/M 25yrs/D-Day: 4/20/11
'You & I go hard at each other like we're going to war...You & I go rough-we keep throwing things & slamming the doors'-M5

Posts: 667 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: The third loop of the bowels of Hell
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, March 29th (Thursday)


Speaking from the heart Sister.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
notthesum
Member
Member # 16172
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, March 29th (Thursday)


Gdamn allergies.....

*sniffling*


Time heals nothing. It's what you do with that time that heals..or doesn't.

I'm not almost 40. I'm $19.99 plus shipping and handling. And insurance.

Sometimes, the person you would take a bullet for is the one holding the gun.


Posts: 1888 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: Rocky Mountains
used2bestrong
Member
Member # 34372
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

Aubrie - I'm sending this to my WH, not because it will touch HIM, but because it touched ME. Thank you.


BS - me
WS - husband
4 children - all teens
D-day 6/15/11.

Posts: 599 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Ohio
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

I was kind of bummed, Aubrie, when I saw the topic and you posting it.

Of course, you are Aubrie and you get it, so I shouldn't have worried!

And that quote is stoooo-pid!!!!!!!!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9705 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

Allergies...

(((((used2bestrong)))))

Sorry for the mild heart attack SisterMilkshake.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

I really hate that saying :( I see it all the time. Thank you for making it so clear what the difference between love (with the 1st person) and luuurv (with the 2nd person) . As usual Aubrie, you are spot on.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1760 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
TooSadToCry
Member
Member # 35123
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

Beautiful!!! I'm going to print and put this in a card for my husband and tell him how much I've always loved him and that I forgive him. Although I'm still hurt and in the process of healing, he needs to hear that I forgive him. Thanks again!


Me: BS
Him: WH
Both 44
Together since we were 18
Married 24 years
2 Teenage Sons
Dday 2/22/12

Posts: 87 | Registered: Mar 2012
SuperDuperWonderboy
Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

Damn you Aubrie, you are wrecking my streak of 3 days without tears.


(actually I didn't make it through my commute this morning)...but you just set the clock back another 12 hours.....damn.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1290 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

Although I'm still hurt and in the process of healing, he needs to hear that I forgive him.

ToSadToCry, I hope to God your WS realizes what a gift that forgiveness is and that receiving it after something as traumatic as this is huge.

Sorry wonderboy! Been keeping up with y'all. Wishing you well in your healing.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
whatjusthappened
Member
Member # 34695
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, March 29th (Thursday)

Spot on, Aubrie. Thank you.

As soon as Mr. wjh all but forgot OW's name on D-Day and went into fight mode for me, I knew he only luuuurved her and truly loved me. It's that knowledge that keeps me moving.


Me - 39
Him - 38
Married 15 years
2 DS
Day my world crashed down: 12/22/11
In R. Most days.

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: AZ
numb&dumb
Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Sniff

I, uh, have to check something over there . . .


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2555 | Registered: May 2010
nvr flt sch pain
Member
Member # 31540
Default  Posted: 4:43 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Thank you Aubrie24.

I'm a BS and to hear a WS say that is just great : )


BW-2gether 13 years, wed 09/09.
Dd1 OW1 6/7/2012 - 9 mnths pa/ea. Dd2 OW1 13/8/2010. Dd3 OW1 10/10, ons and ongoing ea.
Dd4 05/11 OW2 - EA/poss PA, plus other poss ONSs,other dodgy txts.
Dd5 03/12 date sites, sex chats & porn!
01/2013 - porno se

Posts: 663 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: united kingdom
noescape
Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 4:54 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Yes, allergies...

Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
noescape
Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 4:58 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Sorry, double post

[This message edited by noescape at 4:59 AM, March 30th (Friday)]


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Mrs Panda
Member
Member # 27303
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Nice post, Aubrie.

Yay for Pintest. Boo for lame saying!

You know what I have been thinking lately...love...My BH has seen me at my worst, but saw the best in me, and chose to love me anyway.


Me-41 FWW Him-45BH
M 13years. Reconciled.
DDay#1 Nov 2008 (OM2)
DDay#2 Aug 2009 (Confessed to OM 2001)
"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand." -Kurt Vonnegut

Posts: 1986 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The SouthEast
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, March 30th (Friday)

My BH has seen me at my worst, but saw the best in me, and chose to love me anyway.

Exactly!


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
disgust
Member
Member # 34200
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, March 30th (Friday)

That is beautiful Aubrie84. I wish all waywards could come to the same conclusion as you.

I'm happy you are there.


Posts: 349 | Registered: Dec 2011
livetotell
Member
Member # 26527
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, March 30th (Friday)

add me to the tear brigade. Thanks Aubrie - you give so many of us BS's someone to look to as an example of a WS who just gets it - it really helps to get through those harder days.
((Aubrie))


Me: BW - 36 Him: WH - 35
D-Day 1: 11/17/09
D-Day 2: 3/31/11
I'm not taking grenades for you anymore baby.
We are in R.
"Today I will live in the moment....unless the moment is unpleasant in which case I will eat a cookie"

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2009
wert
Member
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Love is working all hours to provide for us. Love is making sacrifices for our family. Love is holding my hand while I puke my guts out. Love is being by my side thru 2 pregnancies. One, uneventful the other, stressed with suicidal tendencies and almost losing the baby during delivery. Love is sitting in the floor with me while I suffered a miscarriage. Love is late bills, flat tires, dirty laundry, morning breath and sleepy eyes, boring household chores, weeding the garden, bedtime stories, kids sneaking in our room during a thunderstorm, passing kisses in the hallway, burnt dinners and desserts that flopped.

Aubrie84 - This is what it is about. I appreciate what others have said about you truly getting it. But this list goes beyond that. It defined what M and love are for me. I wanted to be married so I could share my life with someone who shared the same sense of value of family, trust and dedication. Practical loyalty explains it for me.

Thank you.

[This message edited by wert at 8:41 AM, March 30th (Friday)]



Posts: 1428 | Registered: Jan 2012
Offhispedestal
Member
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, March 30th (Friday)

I LOVE this post! That is what true love really is! I love it!!! I dont think I have emailed my H things from SI.
But this an exception!

Thank you!


ME-44
WH-45
Married 24


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 637 | Registered: Jun 2011
DixieD
Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Well said Aubrie. You've come a long way

side note -- some of the quotes on pinerest are


Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
Decorative
Member
Member # 33196
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, March 30th (Friday)

That made me cry. Well done, Aubrie.


Me, BW 40
Him, FWH 39
LTA, final DDay 3.10
Happy. And amazed.
In recovery

Posts: 747 | Registered: Aug 2011
helpemegetoverit
Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Well said Aubrie. You've come a long way
side note -- some of the quotes on pinerest are

I agree - excellent post Aubrie!

I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest. I almost want to create a 'things I hate or disagree with' board :-). There is another quote on there...I can't remember it and of course today is the first day it's not in the 'most popular section' but it is something about how old people stayed married because they fixed their problems. ANYONE who has talked to an older woman (especially a woman, although I am sure it is true for both parties) will not usually say that. They will say that people didn't get divorced back then, so they just sucked it up. I work with a lot of older people and have over the years I have been working and most are jealous that divorce is actually an option for those in my generation. That it isn't shunned upon, etc.

Anyway, there are a lot of things on Pinterest that make no sense, I loved your post here and using it to relate to your progress.


Me: WW
Him: BH

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you."
John Green


Posts: 882 | Registered: Nov 2010
Decorative
Member
Member # 33196
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, March 30th (Friday)

I am going to make " schmaltzy untrue crap" board on Pinterest. great idea!! LOL


Me, BW 40
Him, FWH 39
LTA, final DDay 3.10
Happy. And amazed.
In recovery

Posts: 747 | Registered: Aug 2011
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, March 30th (Friday)

I am going to make " schmaltzy untrue crap" board on Pinterest.

You are baaaad!

I am deeply humbled by everyone's comments. Thank you BSs who face infidelity square in the eyes and keep pressing on. You all are incredible, strong, beautiful people.

[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 10:10 AM, March 30th (Friday)]


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
JKL Vikings
Member
Member # 32094
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, March 30th (Friday)


Well done Aubrie
(Insert Hufi's clapping hands guy, I'm not tech savvy enough to do it)


Her- Alpha Female 40
Me-FWH 41
Married since '02, together since 2000
D-day 2/10/2009
3 sons- J- born Oct 2001
K- born Sept. 2005
L- born Apr. 2008
We ALL have issues. It's how we deal with them that makes the difference

Posts: 515 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Dallas, TX
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Aubrie,

Great post. Love is "burnt dinners"...reminds me of my W's birthday a couple of years ago. I was making ribs on the grill, it started to rain. I didn't check them quite enough times, and whoosh...

Love is real life. Shared memories, both good and bad. All captured eloquently in your post. Should be a "Love is..." thread in reconciliation. Definitely sending this to my wife.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3959 | Registered: Dec 2011
tired girl
Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, March 30th (Friday)

It's funny that this post came up.

Me and my H were just having this conversation last night.

I asked him why he married me as I am so different from what he came from. I literally turned his world upside down. Why would he want that?

He came up with that he loved me at the time with what he knew of love, of course he had really no idea of what real love was, that would come later. With bills, and babies, and the various things that life throws at you. That shows you what real love is. If you you are going to stick with that person through all of that. That was when he knew he really loved me, he wanted to be with me through all of that too.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4946 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
DixieD
Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, March 30th (Friday)

Should be a "Love is..." thread in reconciliation.

Two naked cartoon characters.

The Love Is characters are kinda how I picture Mr. and Mrs. Aubrie -- with clothes on of course

I'd forgotten about those cartoons. My sister used to cut them out of the paper every week.


Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, March 30th (Friday)

The Love Is characters are kinda how I picture Mr. and Mrs. Aubrie

Totally had to Google that because I had NO clue who they were...

I love them! They're adorable! And lookie, they even have clothes on!


*POOF!*

[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 2:10 PM, March 30th (Friday)]


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
DixieD
Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, March 30th (Friday)

I knew you wouldn't -- you are too young!! Dammit

Yup -- you guys are adorable

Thanks for sharing.


Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, March 30th (Friday)

My BH has seen me at my worst, but saw the best in me, and chose to love me anyway.
indeed...damn, now my allergies are starting to act up!!! *sniff*


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5936 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
uncertainone
Member
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, March 30th (Friday)


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
onlysolution
Member
Member # 23160
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, March 30th (Friday)

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

I laughed when I read this quote and thought...okay, what about the 3rd and the 4th and 5th time?


FWW: Me 52
BH: 54
Married 34 years
Recovery - Over 4 years

Posts: 448 | Registered: Mar 2009
JNRPA
New Member
Member # 35173
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, March 30th (Friday)

I think that's what I needed to hear 2 months ago. Great explanation!
Thanks!


ME: 38
BH: 41
Kids: 10,9,6
D-Day: 30Jan12
not giving up

Posts: 38 | Registered: Mar 2012
so-wrong
Member
Member # 33653
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, March 30th (Friday)

well said Aubrie - well said!

I think I have single-handedly destroyed the words "I love you" to my BH. I am not sure he will ever say them to me again.... but i dont shy away from telling him why i love him and the things that remind me every single day why i love him.

You know what? I know this sounds kinda gross, but when our little one throws up in the middle of the night and Mr.So-wrong jumps up and cleans it all up while I attend to our son, immediately, without asking..... i feeeeel love.

and so many other things..... but dont want to T/J anymore! GOOD POST AUBRIE!


- I made some really bad choices and now I need to make it right. And along the way, I will make me better too.....

Posts: 171 | Registered: Oct 2011
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, March 30th (Friday)

No worries about t/j so-wrong. Love it up here. I don't mind at all.

Tred also started a thread in Recon called "Love Is..." so you can wax poetic over there as well.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Offhispedestal
Member
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, March 31st (Saturday)

I mention SI at least once a week or every other week. But your post? I copied and emailed it to him. He HATES reading and your entire post and told me " this is what we have and I'll prove to you everyday with my actions that this is where I want to be with you and our family, he says there is NO comparison " he loved your post and it blew him away


ME-44
WH-45
Married 24


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 637 | Registered: Jun 2011
girlsbird
Member
Member # 30877
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, April 2nd (Monday)

Tearing...


D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, June 1st (Friday)

shameless bump for a newbie

[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 10:28 PM, June 1st (Friday)]


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Lost333
Member
Member # 35182
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, June 2nd (Saturday)

loved this post then-love it now.


Me:29,WS/BS Him:27, BS/WS (DontTreadOnMe) His Dday 2/19/12. My Dday 9/29/12
Married: 2 yrs, together 4 1/2

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin


Posts: 689 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Midwest
rollercoaster80
Member
Member # 23412
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, June 2nd (Saturday)

Thanks Aubrie for bumping this.

I did not see it the first time around.

Just recently started to read in Wayward and I am finding out that there are also some incredibly strong and beautiful people in this forum.

Thank you to all the waywards that "get it"


me 55 fbw
him 67 FWH/SA
married 32 years
together 31 years my whole adult life!
4 s, 1 stepd, 2 grand kids

multiple A's, 2 LTA's,multiple indescretions...before and throughout our marriage


Posts: 1047 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: sarasota, fl
isadora
Member
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, June 2nd (Saturday)

I missed this post the first time around. thanks for the bump. Great post!


Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 10 yrs
4 children: DDs 6&4; DSs 2& baby
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.


Posts: 4506 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
init4life
New Member
Member # 35414
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, June 2nd (Saturday)

Thank aubrie......this is exactly how I feel about ow. Once you come out of the fog you see more clearly then ever.


WH (me)
BS (wife)
Married 15 years, together 18

Posts: 40 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: AZ
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, June 2nd (Saturday)

At a friend's party and could not stay off SI. In tears, sobbing in the bathroom.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1257 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Sal1995
Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

B.S. here, still new to S.I.

I'm not sure how I came across this old thread, or whether it's appropriate to bump something this old. But I showed it to my remorseful WW (an SI lurker), and she thought that Aubrie hit a home run with her analysis and really seems to "get it." Which is nice to hear, since it suggests that my WW "gets it" as well.

I think it deserves a second life.


Me (BS)-45, WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling
PM's w/ male members only please

Posts: 1402 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
thecaves
Member
Member # 38062
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

We need a "like" button here...


Me: WH
Her: BW
Kids: Yes
Married: 20+
D-Day: 12/2012

What defines us is how well we rise after falling.


Posts: 173 | Registered: Jan 2013
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Definitely need the "like" key!

Thank you!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I'm glad it was bumped up. Thanks for the thoughts, Aubrie.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

awesome...


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5936 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Hunter23
Member
Member # 37574
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Another BS here...

Thanks for bumping this - So well said!


Me: BW, 38
Him:WH, 40
DDay: Nov 3, 2012
Hoping to recover...

Posts: 99 | Registered: Nov 2012
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Thanks Aubrie. When I first saw the title I started not to read it. I didn't want to read another post from a WS that didn't "get it". I am so glad to read that you really do and I hope that it influences others to "get it" as well.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
pantsonfire106
New Member
Member # 35748
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I never post or reply.

But thanks for this.


Posts: 10 | Registered: Jun 2012
LovesLaboursLost
Member
Member # 37272
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

I hate that saying too. Self indulgent bullshit...VOMIT! I like your rebuttal, Aubrie.


I'm a work in progress.

Posts: 81 | Registered: Oct 2012
Trying33
Member
Member # 38815
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)

Made me cry. Difference between love and lurrrve is spot on. The second leads into the former which is longlasting and real.

I think the tears are because of guilt and shame. Breaking the real love for the "love" that's shallow, fickle, fake and wrapped up with a bow.

Thank-you for posting/bumping this. More stuff like this is needed to put things in perspective (something fresh fww's are desparately in need of, mainly me)


Posts: 362 | Registered: Mar 2013
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

The second leads into the former which is longlasting and real.
Not if both parties are already married or attached to other people. You cannot convince me that luuuurv is real if two people are cheating on and destroying two families, in the name of "love". Everything about an affair is wrong. It sure feels like love. And I guess in way, it's a type of love. Just like when an abuser loves his wife and beats her. Doesn't mean it's healthy.

If you and AP are cheating on your spouses to be with one another, who's to say you and AP won't cheat on one another with a new AP once the newness and "love" of the relationship wear off. You are both still broken people. Broken attracts broken. History will repeat. Same story, difference faces.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6253 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)

^^^^^This^^^^^


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2869 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Undone1
Member
Member # 37683
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, May 17th (Friday)

Great post. Sent to my fWH


Undone1
Married 10+ years to my high school sweetheart
DDAY 10/27/12
Me 55
WH 55
Blended Family: 25, 21, and 20
Married 10 years
"The Universe Unfolds as it Should"

Posts: 301 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Missouri
newbeg2011
Member
Member # 31892
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, May 18th (Saturday)

Beautifully said Aubrrie !


Never forget what I have done to BS but don't let guilt make me quit. STAY IN THE FIGHT ! ! !
WS 47 me
BS 47 her
5 Great Children
DD 1/15/11

Posts: 213 | Registered: Apr 2011
Topic Posts: 61