The Book Club
User Topic: Really good books on Co-dependency
Member # 33679
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, April 9th (Monday)

Sorry and I am sure that this question is posted somewhere on here, but I can't really go through all 25 pages at work looking for a thread.

So, can anyone recommend a really good, solid book on co-dependency behaviors that doesn't necessarily focus on BEING in a relationship. It can, but would really like to leave the SO out of this process if possible.


Divorced 05/11/11 -
2kids - 20 and 22 (Thank God for them)

Too many Ddays to count. Enough said!

Posts: 693 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, April 9th (Monday)

That's a little difficult since codependency happens within the context of a relationship. I can give three recommendations that do not specifically focus on romantic attachments, but all the books I know of at least touch on the subject since it is the primary intimate relationship in adults' lives.

Here are the books:

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner, PhD

Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Not all of these use the term "codependent" but they all get at the types of behaviors and thought patterns that characterize codependence.

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
Member # 33679
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, April 10th (Tuesday)

Thanks Fighting!

I guess it was a little askewed to ask it that way.

Anyway, I will be checking these out. I was trying to focus on "detaching" from my intimate relationship and try to focus more on my FOO and the dynamics of coo-dependency.

Divorced 05/11/11 -
2kids - 20 and 22 (Thank God for them)

Too many Ddays to count. Enough said!

Posts: 693 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, April 10th (Tuesday)

Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Pia Mellody talks how it establishing in childhood and FOO.

Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
Member # 34187
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, April 10th (Tuesday)

I have a daily reader by Melodie Beattie (who wrote Codependent No More) called The Language of Letting Go. It's just little daily affirmations that help me a lot.

Me - BW 37
Him - WH 36
15 years
DDay 12/9/11
RDay 1/16/12
Trying to R
"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough."

Posts: 1347 | Registered: Dec 2011
Topic Posts: 5