When our MC told us that she had done everything she could and couldn't help us anymore, she recommended the book to WH. She recommended that I read it too. I read it and saw my WH very clearly. He is also slightly NPD. So the books scares me because we are still trying to R. He has still not been able to grasp how deeply he has hurt me and our MC told me she didn't think he could. I am working through healing on my own.
I of course want my WS to work on his dishonesty, passiveness, lack of ability to say no (to anyone but me), his porn addiction and unspoken expectations for when he does something nice - it has strings attached but I often don't know what they are and he feels like a victim.
The part of the book that scares me is that it tells men that they can demand sex, threaten to leave if they don't get it, be selfish, etc. As someone recovering from his cheating and lying as well as the effects of a giant porn addiction...I feel a lot of pressure to not take care of my own emotional needs because he is being told that its okay to expect me to give him what he wants no matter how I'm feeling.
There is a NMMNG forum and I have read some of it. Most of the men over there sound abusive and selfish. I almost cry when I read some of the threads about how wives don't give them the sex they want. . . the men sound emotionally abusive and I don't know how the women survive. (Maybe thats why so many of the men are divorcing their wives at the end of long threads). They are calling their wives all kinds of names that sound unloving, uncaring, and cold. It seems that those "nice guys" are not nice AT ALL.