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User Topic: t/j - dating - share your w.t.f. moments
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Happy  Posted: 1:44 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Even Keel posted this on OIAL's thread, and I started to post a reply about my weirdest contact, but then thought it was too big a threadjack.
Weirdest online contact I got was:

"Classy profile...keep it up!"

What in the world does that mean?????

We could all use a good laugh. Let's share the weirdest things we've encountered while dating (online or otherwise) - not making fun of anyone, not the gross stuff, but the ones that leave you scratching your head going, "Huh????"

The strangest message I've received so far (and I'm so glad I blogged this, because I had forgotten about it until I re-read it the other night) was this:

You do seem awesome! You’re right! If you were Asian, we could join forces and conquer the world. Too bad.

By the time I read it, his profile had been deleted. (I'm convinced it was Kim Jung Un. )


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

LOL - I thought the same thing when I posted that..I should of started a new post.

I think I shared this one before. It was one of my earliest online experiences and it shocked the heck out of me. I was all a flutter trying to find the block button.

I had online chatted back and forth with this guy many times and felt no blazing red flags. UNTIL this:

Him: So what do you do for a living?
Me: I am in the banking industry.
Him: I'd like to make a deposit in you & leave you with a smile.
Me: I think you got the wrong girl - good-bye.

I was new to online and oooohhhh so naive! LOL

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 2:06 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
beingmiranda
Member
Member # 32519
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I had a lovely first date with a gentleman in early February 2011. We had a great time! We seemed to click well. Never an awkward pause in the conversation. Just funny and left me hoping for a second date. Then on Feb. 14th, I am at my desk at work. I get a delivery of a dozen roses, chocolate and a mushy card talking all of "I love yous"!!! It was signed by ...you guessed it...the the awesome first date I just had.

W

T

F

Desperate much?


Me: now 37
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid mid thirties with biological clock ticking, desparate for a man.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013

Posts: 755 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: NJ
jennie160
Member
Member # 29949
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I had met a guy on POF, we had exchanged number and were texting but hadn't met in person yet. He was a little bit weird but aren't we all. One night at around 11 or so I received the following text "tap, tap, tapping on your temple with my index finger" or something along those lines. A little too creepy and weird for me.

I also had another guy from Match who I had been emailing with for a few days who started trying to bully me into giving him my number. I stopped responding to him but didn't block him right away. I guess that upset him and he sent me a nasty abusive email because I didn't respond.


Posts: 921 | Registered: Oct 2010
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

A couple of weeks ago I had a date with this guy --no chemistry for me but it was obvious he thought he would somehow get me to sleep with him. When it was obvious it wasn't going to happen, he started talking about some website where a guy predicts the future. Apparently it costs a bunch to get updates from this person and he's "predicted" a bunch of big happenings thus far. And--very cryptically my date said "something big and awful is going to happen. . .very soon."

I think he thought he convinced me that the end of the world was coming and this might be my last chance to get laid. Definitely a WTF moment. Funny, but WTF!!!!

[This message edited by meaniemouse at 3:21 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2053 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Oh--an another goof I had lunch with were sharing our catholic school memories and I mentioned that getting divorced had prompted me to get back to mass. That was our first and last date but on his dating profile he credited me BY NAME with making him go back to church! WTF???


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2053 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

meaniemouse those are both crazy!

I love these stories.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I got to go on a date with the Cheesey Nut Man--nuff said!


I promise to surround myself with amazing souls and love them fiercely.

Posts: 19139 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Game over. Cheesy nut man is legend.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22533 | Registered: Aug 2011
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I had a first date with someone. We got along really well and I thought there was some chemistry.

Apparently, he did too because he asked me to go back to his apartment for a bit. When I declined, he said.....
"C'mon! The first one is free!"

The other good one - I was just texting with a guy. Never met in person. He said "Hey, you're a blonde, right? So, does the carpet match the drapes?"

AYFKM?? NEXT!


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 6983 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Ama--unfortunately I have a million of them
I went out with one guy and when I got something out of my wallet a picture of my three 20-something daughters fell out. He picked it up and said "Damn. . .if you and I don't work out will you fix me up with one of them?"

WTF---even if you're creepy enough to say that in your head it should never come out of your mouth!!

[This message edited by meaniemouse at 3:58 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2053 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Come on, Sad--tell about Cheesey Nut Man. I missed it and it sounds like something I need to hear.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2053 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I got a "hey" message, from someone 470 miles away from where I live. Just "hey" nothing else.

I clicked his profile and in the "Things I am good at" section it says

I have a thick tongue and I drive good.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5287 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
travels
Member
Member # 20334
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Ahhhh, the Cheesey Nut Man. I remember him. Wasn't there a walk around a lake involved??


When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.

Rest In Peace Bo the Beagle 1996-2011


Posts: 3744 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: PA
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I 'dated' (use that term loosely ) this guy for a long time...well, the last time he was over (I didn't know until like a month later when I got the cable bill) he rented effing PPV porn!

When I thought about it, I recalled that we'd hung out earlier that night and I went out with some GF's for a couple of hours (I'd known this fool long enough that I trusted him in my home alone) and here he buys PPV porn...on my dime.

We don't talk anymore for a million other reasons, but him stealing porn is a definite NC order ashould he ever try to call again.

Eww, like how digusting is that? He was the ONE guy I did know to 'openly' dig porn (from that porn thread here... )


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
veritas
Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I'm 40 and the anti-cougar. I got one question from a 23-year-old:

"how often do u get your feet done?"

Then there was the guy who said, "Do you know that your profile says that you're African-American?"

*next!*

[This message edited by veritas at 4:30 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I wish I had saved the original post; here's the gist:

The Sad Story of the Cheesy Nut Man

I had just reactivated my cupid.com membership. Part of my profile is about my love of hiking. I got a message from a guy who also liked to hike; his profile pics were all about hiking with his dog. He also said that he did local humanitarian work. Sounded good and he looked ok. We messaged back & forth; he wanted to go hiking but I was leery of going out into the wilderness with someone I’d never met before, so I suggested we meet. He chose a Friday afternoon at 2pm and mentioned a restaurant near where I worked. I was very familiar with the area—it’s a resort where we held most of our consular events, but I had never heard of the restaurant. That was ok, though.

When the day arrived, I drove to the resort and discovered it was the snack bar on the golf course; ok…I parked where he said I should—near the road so we could easily find each other—and waited…and waited…finally, I was about to give up when I saw someone walking toward me from a completely different area of the golf course. It was him; he said it was very crowded that day (there was an event going on) and he thought I wouldn’t be able to find a spot, so he went elsewhere to park. There was plenty of parking where I was…

He was wearing a plaid shirt that looked like he’d slept in it—and it was covered with food stains. Well, it was a work day, so I figured he hadn’t had time to change; not a huge problem. However, he was at least 15 years older than the pics he'd posted. He said, “We have three choices; one, we can eat here (yeah, that was the plan…); two, we can find some other place (It’s 2 o’clock already…); or three, we can take a stroll along the canal—I brought a 6-pack of beer and some snacks (Buddy, I just met you; I’m not strolling anywhere!) “ Oh, and the snack—it was pecans wrapped in American cheese…

I said, “Let’s eat here.”

The menu was small—only 4 items. I ordered a burger; he ordered the exact same thing, right down to the condiments. I thought, odd, but it was a limited choice… We started to chat and he quickly monopolized the conversation; in fact, he launched into a rather gruesome story about an accident that he’d had almost immediately. I’ve regaled people with some painful stories, but not immediately after meeting them… After a while, I put on my sunglasses, even though the sun had started to set. I didn’t want him to see me rolling my eyes… I finally made my excuses and got up to leave. He insisted on walking me to my car and when we got to the parking lot, he said, “So, do you think we’ll take that hike.”

“Maybe…” as I quickly jumped into my car and sped off. As soon as I got home, I cancelled my cupid.com account.

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 4:29 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


I promise to surround myself with amazing souls and love them fiercely.

Posts: 19139 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I have to say, I really loved Cheesy Nut Man. He provided a nice benchmark when I was just starting to date.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I had been chatting with a man I'd met online. He seemed like a nice guy. Not too long into it we were IM'ing and he said he had to tell me something.......and was a bit nervous. I said "Okay.......go for it."

Not sure what I was thinking it was, but I definitely wasn't expecting for him to say: He had just gotten out of PRISON two months earlier for killing his GF! She was drunk and OD'd on his pain (back) meds. I checked it out and found the newspaper articles on it and even remembered the story!

Yea, it's be interesting trying to get that detail by my parents! 'But he's a nice guy Mom!'. haha

NEXT! (Thankfully, I found someone who is not a convicted murderer.)

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 5:40 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


Me - Now 35 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1687 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Thank you, Sad. Worth the price of admission.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2053 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
dkv921
New Member
Member # 36215
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I swear I entered the who's the worst at kissing contest...

I found literally the worst kissers in the world and dated them...well...went out with them until I kissed them...

I finally found someone who doesn't suck at kissing and whamo! I'm lost...

Must be my "thing"


DD - now 9 years old
Divorced 5 years; multiple affairs

Posts: 20 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: PA
cissi
Member
Member # 21737
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Sad, didn't the guy also make you pay for your own burger? I seem to remember that.

GrievingMommy - why did he get a murder charge if she OD'd on his pain medications? Didn't she take them herself, willingly?


Posts: 1315 | Registered: Nov 2008
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

ahh yes...bad dates

the country bar

I had been talking with this guy for about 10 days on the phone. He'd tried to ask me out on short notice for the previous weekend. i said no b/c it was short notice and i had plans to sit on my butt and watch TV.

The following weekend we agree to meet at a popular country bar about 45 min from each of our homes. I tell him upfront i don't dance though i'm willing to learn.

I show up and the bartender KNOWS him and promptly hands him the usual and makes it a double. He then turns to me and says "Seems like a good night to get really drunk! Order whatever you want, I'm buying." Date wanders off while i get my drink. WTF? OK - I'm already annoyed. Next thing the phone rings and he takes the call and talks for a while. I'm just about out of there with that.

He proceeds to chat with about 4 different women on the way to a table. We talk a little bit and then he just grabs some woman and heads to the dance floor. He didn't even ask me. I'm done at that point but its almost comical. I start chatting with some guy that's there. He comes back and is annoyed I'm chatting up his friend.

He then proceeds to hang out and make several inappropriate comments. Talks about himself endlessly and continues to drink heavily. I'm ready to bail out and head home when he says (not even in the form of a question) "theres a hotel just a couple blocks away we can stay there." Then he smacks me on the ass. WTF? Seriously?

At that point, I pulled him in close to me and whispered in his ear "I'm the best thing you're never gonna have" poured my drink on his feet. I walked up to the bar and paid for my two drinks and left.

Still waiting for him to call and ask for my second date.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8230 | Registered: Apr 2008
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Oh, Oh - I remembered another one.

I was on POF for a while. My pic on there had me with the dogs - I was in my bare feet.

I had one guy that would message me every night about my feet with questions like:

Are you wearing slippers? I am.
Are your toenails painted? What color?
I'm wearing socks tonight, are you?

This went on for weeks. I now wear foot coverings in all profile photos.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 6983 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

OMG, I too discovered some men have foot fetishes. lol

cissi, that's what his atty argued too (that she is the one that OD'd by taking pills) but I guess they figured he was careless with a controlled substance and she was in a vulerable state (drunk). I kinda felt bad for him as SHE is the one who took the drugs on her own accord.

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 7:22 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


Me - Now 35 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1687 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I'll play!

So, I was only on Match a few days, and had lots of strange contacts. This one is, by far, the strangest.

This man sent me the first email and it simply said something like: I'm headed out to my boat, wanna join me?

Then, 2 hours later again: OK, it's time to hit the dock, maybe you'll stop by!

I see that I had 2 messages from him and did go to look at his profile. I wasn't interested, mostly because I was getting a little creeped out, and he is about 10 years older than me. I didn't respond to the messages right away.

About 1 hour later (after checking his profile), I receive this message:


sniff

went out, got the boat at the marina, fished a little, came back for breakfast and to stock up on ice (and beer). saw you looked at my profile!, but you no write me back.

i is sad :'(

siiiiiigh......i hates


KL

Seriously. I couldn't block him fast enough. The baby talk? creepy. sick, sad.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 40, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3580 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
WhiteWolfWinning
Member
Member # 12475
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I have no stories to share (I'm not sure, but I think that's a GOOD thing... ). Still, I had to post to tell you that I am sitting here laughing like a hyena.

i needed a good laugh today. Thanks, guys!
Wolf


Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thank you, Lord, for the lightness of my burdens


Posts: 8233 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: midwest
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

omg, Sad! I read your post and this

I had just reactivated my cupid.com membership. Part of my profile is about my love of hiking.

I read as ....my love making.

I may have whiplash from the double take.

I had to block a guy that messaged me with hey!!!!!!!

and then

What ya doing????????????

We should meet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

call meeee!!!!!!!!!!!! (phone number)

I hope you call me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all separate messages. I ignored that flurry and he went away for about two weeks. Then, repeat with a

remember me???????????????

I replied that I was not interested did not comment on the abundant waste of !!!!! he went away for a week and then came back......... remember me????????????? BLOCK.

this online thing is a lot of work and you guys get way more entertaining stuff. I am not usually entertained so much as worn out.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5287 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Threnody
Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I had a nice evening out with a pleasant man, about 5 years older than me, and I was very comfortable. He was polite, considerate, and really a gentleman. We had great conversation, and he was handsome (to me -- I have a thing for geeky-hot). The date was supper and a walk along the Serpentine Wall in Cincinnati, at the time a romantic and public first date. He asked permission before taking my hand as we strolled along, talking about theater and books (he attended the conservatory there, I was still performing). The date went so well that I was really looking forward to the first kiss. Having dated many actors and singers, I had this inkling he was going to knock my socks off with that kiss.

Everything was perfect. At the end of the date, he drove me home. During the drive, he asked for another date, and I agreed.

At my doorstep, he leaned in for The Kiss. Oh my gosh, I was shaking. I was excited and thrilled and happy and... wow. I remember how my heart was pounding. Here it is! Here it is! This is going to rock.

He brushed my lips with his, then...

... sucked. my. chin.

I thought he missed. I backed up a bit and laughed, and said something like "Oops, we still need training wheels with each other." He laughed too and agreed, then came back in for...

... more. chin. sucking.

I backed up and just looked at him. He smiled at me, like this was all normal. He said, "Again?"

Uhhhhh.

I came down with a really nasty virus (I said) so couldn't make the second date. We made no plans for a third.

If that had happened now that I'm in my forties, I'd have asked him to pluck a few of the chin hairs down there with his teeth, since he was in the area.


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14039 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

I talked with a guy on OKCupid for about 3 weeks, texts, emails, and phone calls. We were going to meet but his schedule kept getting busy, finally he arranged to come to my town. 4 days before the scheduled meeting I finally googled him. Found out that his age on OKC was youngerthan the ages of his younger siblings he had told me about. He had lied about his age, which I gather is pretty common. I called him and said, "so, I was doing a little exploring today". His reply, "Did the Florida stuff come up?" I played smart and said "yes it did...care to tell me about that?"

He proceeded to tell me about being set up by the Feds and doing PRISON TIME for Boiler room sales of stocks. Of course he was innocent. I asked why he hadn't told me and he said, "It isn't something you bring up until you meet in person". WTH.

Oh, and he had fudged on his age by 5 years because his daughter told him, "Dad, no one is going to date a 61 year old" Um, yeh...

He still tries to engage me through emails. Not. Going. To. Happen.

I always google them now!

[This message edited by better4me at 9:34 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 2818 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

OMG Threnody you literally had me laughing out loud! Your chin? How the hell could do he that and think he was kissing you, and twice?!

What a shame as he sounded great....till the chin kiss.



Me - Now 35 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1687 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
noone
Member
Member # 34455
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

best.thread.ever! You guys have been making me laugh like mad! It's all kinds of fabulous. Thank you for sharing for others enjoyment...and education!


what the caterpillar believes is the end of life, the butterfly knows is just the beginning

Posts: 444 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Hell
WhiteWolfWinning
Member
Member # 12475
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

Now, I am peeing.

Chin suckers???
OMG.


Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thank you, Lord, for the lightness of my burdens


Posts: 8233 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: midwest
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

No, cissi; the guy who kept telling me how good he was had me pay my own way; I don't really mind, because, after all, he was so good...

I also had the guy who was descended from saints & kings and the two guys who wanted me to move in with them to help pay their mortgages because they were about to lose their houses...

I guess it's sort of like the air gets thinner as you go up higher; the dating pool gets swampier as you get older...


I promise to surround myself with amazing souls and love them fiercely.

Posts: 19139 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
LostandGuilty
Member
Member # 30493
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)

These are so funny. The "chin kisser" is my favorite. These guys really give my gender a bad name.


"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on" - Robert Frost

BH (35)
DS (15)
DD (13)


Posts: 224 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: FL
MelisssaZZZ
Member
Member # 25953
Happy  Posted: 3:48 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

well, was inet dating site. started to 'talk' to a guy. age - 42 or so.. so, we agree to meet.

he arrives.. wearing long leather coat. bright brown..

then. we start talking - he has taken a copy of his painting with him - starts to show them to me. When i ask him what he does for living. he says he helps people on internet to look for houses. and no, he is not an estate agent. then he likes painting. OK.

so ask how he likes living in the neighbourhood he told me he lives in. well apparantly he does not live there, he lives in courntry side with his father, but 'wants' to buy a 2bedroom flat in the neighbourhood. OK.

then i ask him why he is still single (hmmm at this point I am taking this as entertainment value and really wnat to hear what he has to say..). apparantly the girls he fin psysically attractive he finds nothing to talk about.. but the ones whic are interesting he does not find attractive. and apparantly his last encounters were with columbian girl roberta who used him for s*x. So ask, what does he mean - used him for s8x. and he says it just felt like she was using me and abusing me ...

ok, then i am saying thank you for a coffee i should get back home to my daghter..

and he starts very apssionately telling me how giving birth is the process which makes women extremely uns*xy and if would have known i have a child he would have never asked me out. that he ould prefer to find someone who does not have kids..

have to say this is still the best 'dumping' expierence i had.. saved me to do that


Me BS - 37
WH 39
1 child - 4yrs
married 5 yrs, together 7
DD1 midmarch 09
DD2 early june 09
some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list
LTA (2 yrs) fully?? finished mid Aug 09
Status: Divorced Oct 2011

Posts: 1199 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: London, UK
Nowhere Man
Member
Member # 19134
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

It's interesting that all the stories posted are from women about weird men.

Are there no weird women out on these sites?

And with all these guys for competition, why does it seem so hard for "normal" guys to compete?


Posts: 439 | Registered: Apr 2008
beingmiranda
Member
Member # 32519
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

This definately ranks as one of the better threads of SI.

Last year I met a guy on OKCUPID. Lived about a mile away! He was 43 and I was 35. Pictures all look great. First date he shows up and I am pleasantly surprised. Looked so much better then his pictures and looked much younger then his age. We have a nice time and I agree to second date. During second date I start getting interrogated about why I *chose* him and only him. Just real creepy conversation. Second date ends on somewhat of a sour note simply because he's asking me too many weird questions. A few days go by and he starts texting me asking me for pictures of my chest with real specific instructions. Don't have my face in the picture. And be generous showing the nipples. When I respond back with "sorry dude, ya got the wrong girl here" he says "I thought we had a great time together and you were ready to take this a step further. No man. I'm ready to take this three steps back. NEXT!


Me: now 37
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid mid thirties with biological clock ticking, desparate for a man.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013

Posts: 755 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: NJ
completeshock
Member
Member # 19334
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

I had one that thought a wet willy (you know, sticking your wet finger in someone's ear - I realize this could be interpreted many ways ) would turn me on. This was foreplay to sticking his giraffe-like halfway down my throat. I next'ed him pretty quick.


Sometimes you have to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 1727 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: East Coast
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

And people wonder why I don't date...


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17263 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

Well, Nowhere Man, I doubt it's because we're all so awesome...

I'm sure the first guy I dated was horrified by me. After listening to him drone on about how his ancestors were saints & kings, I told him my ancestors were witches and his probably burned mine at the stake.

He dumped me as soon as he got back to his computer; it was a relief.


I promise to surround myself with amazing souls and love them fiercely.

Posts: 19139 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

Nowhere Man, there are also a lot more women here in NB than there are men, so it makes sense there are more of us to tell stories.

I love these. They're making me crack up.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

I give credit to those honest about their prison records. Not enough credit to date them, but I find it admirable.

My friend had a guy that told her he just got out of prison. He had came home and found his wife in bed with his BF. He got his gun, loaded it, pointed it at them...then beat the crap out of his friend.
(Being an SI'er....I could understand this even if I would never do it)

Never shot the gun at all and left the house.

He was arrested and did time because he did load the gun and pointed it at them in bed.

So he asked my friend if she wanted to still go out with him.

She said "Depends - are you going to point a gun at me???"He says: "Depends - are you going to sleep with my best friend??"

She actually went out with him for awhile.

(I always research my online contacts. Mostly find they are honest, normal people. However, did have one that I discovered to be a registered, lifetime sex offender. Huh...never mention THAT in his emails!)

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 10:06 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)]


When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, July 25th (Wednesday)

Well, since Thren posted on this thread, I thought I'd pop in here with my favorite dating horror story. When my D was final from my 1st H (XWH) I did not date for almost 3 years. The first date was a blind date set up by a friend of my mom's. This guy went to her church and was supposedly a "very nice man".

Halfway through lunch, he told me he'd had a vision from God, that he was going to be a regimental commander in God's army and invade hell.

I thanked him for sharing, raised my hand and hollered "Check, please!" and RAN out the door. Took another year before I tried dating again.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2475 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Red Sox Nation
Member
Member # 26358
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, July 25th (Wednesday)

Usually, when a date goes badly with a woman, it's less entertaining because women are rarely persistent. At least not after just one date.

The one that stands out to me isn't all that great a story. And if I've told it here before it probably isn't any better this time, so feel free to skip to the end. It's a long story, and doesn't have a payoff. It's my only real "wtf" date, because I'm fairly boring about vetting potential dates through days of email.

I was contacted on PoF by a woman in my area who seemed reasonably attractive, and had a PhD in her field. I'm a bit of an education snob myself, so the PhD is like catnip. The messages were a bit odd, though, so after a few days I was ready to let it go. I wrote my "thanks, and good luck" message. She responded with an apology, and said she doesn't like emailing because she has Dyslexia.

I figured she must be very intelligent to get through that much school while dealing with Dyslexia, and I appreciated what I perceived as a lack of ego in telling me that while getting the "good luck" note. So I decided the lack of any sort of connection in email could be justified and maybe it was better to meet. I'd hate to miss out on someone incredible.

I drove to her town, about 40 minutes away, and she was only about 15 minutes late to the restaurant. But she was better looking than in her pictures, so I was happy to see her.

It turns out that this woman, who has a PhD in chemistry and is enormously successful in her field if what she told me is true, is heavily into astrology. And, by heavily into astrology, I mean Nancy Reagan would be envious.

She only asked me a handful of questions the entire evening. Which wouldn't have been too terrible if they all weren't somehow related to the horoscopes she kept checking. During this date, she had her phone on the table, and kept looking up horoscopes. Mine, hers, ours, her son's, various combinations, various specialized horoscopes for singles, I don't know, maybe even pets. I tried to get in a few phrases edgewise that might indicate that I don't believe in astrology, but she was tuned out. Although we were together about three hours in all, I doubt she found out even what I do for a living.

But... she was absolutely delighted that I was a Gemini. I think that's why she contacted me in the first place. During this reading (and I hesitate to call it a date because it was more her reading horoscopes than anything else), she repeatedly said how wonderful a day it was for us. At one point, with a wink, after she read one of my daily horoscopes, she said it would be a good idea if we made sure we had good breath because it was such a good day for a date (this wasn't a hint about my breath - we weren't sitting close enough and I would have clued in fairly quickly if I were offending her).

Shamelessly, I'm thinking this might be headed toward an ONS, and since it had been a while for me and she was quite attractive, I would have been on board.

We leave the restaurant and walk toward her car. On the way, we're stopped by a homeless person. She quite happily engages him in conversation, can't remember the details. But it ends up with her promising to return with some money as she didn't have much cash with her.

We get into her car and she goes to the ATM and withdraws some money for the homeless person. It turns out he didn't stay where he was, so we spent the next 20 minutes driving around looking for him. Not successfully.

While I knew from about 20 minutes into this date that there was no hope of a relationship, it wasn't horrible. She was a genuinely nice person. She was very upbeat and under the right circumstances, her knowledge of astrology would have been entertaining. Yes, it was boring after an hour of astrology, but that could have been nerves.

The problem was that she never stopped talking. I was clearly just an object to her. She drove me to my car, and I'm thinking "what the heck" based on her repeated hints throughout the evening. I lean in for the kiss, and she gives me the cheek, saying she never kisses on the first date. That's OK, too, but a bit weird considering all the rather overt signals.

I drove home. A half-hour after I returned, she called me. I listened to her recap of another series of horoscopes she had read in the meantime, all, again, quite rosy for us in the Gemini camp. I could not get her to listen long enough to get off the phone. Finally, I said I'd call her back and we'd do this again. I didn't. She didn't, either. And the promising marriage of Aquarius and Gemini remains unfulfilled.


When someone tells you who she is, listen; when someone shows you who she is, listen carefully.

Posts: 1655 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Midwest
Snapdragon
Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, July 25th (Wednesday)

I knew this guy from work, but not very well. He was a bit younger than me and was always very nice. When he asked me out to a pro basketball game I was quite surprised. But I accepted. As it turns out, he couldn’t get tickets so instead suggested we go to a local comedy club. I love comedy clubs to agreed. Here is how the evening went.

Since he lived ½ way between my house and our intended location I drove to his apartment complex and called him when I got there. He came bounding out, no invitation in to his apartment (no red flag at that). He wanted to drive the rest of the way so we walked to his car. It was a dirty mess! Seriously? You knew you were going on a DATE! After he cleared all the crap from the front seat I got in and we proceeded to head to the next town. Then:
*We had to stop at the ATM (Really? Great planning ahead.)
*He didn’t know where the club was located (wouldn’t you look it up in advance?)
*When we got there he parked on the street, got out, and took off across the street to the club. Uh… thanks for waiting for me, buddy.
*He paid for the tickets but complained about the price.
*When we were seated and looking at the drinks menu he complained numerous times about the drink prices. I decided I’d only have one low-priced drink. He proceeded to get one that was more expensive – then ordered himself a second. When it came time to pay the bill he didn’t have enough money (having only gotten a $20 at the ATM earlier) and I volunteered to pay the bill. Had I known that I would be paying the bill I would not have nursed one glass of wine until it was warm!
*After the show we exited the club and he did the same “take off across the street without me” thing and hopped into the driver’s seat. I made my way carefully across the street in my high heels and got in the passenger side.
*On the drive back to his home and my car he asked if I wanted to get something to eat. I politely declined. I didn’t want to spend any more time with him and I knew I’d be paying.
*When we got to his parking lot I thanked him for taking me to the show and got out of the car. He followed me to my car. I got in and rolled down my window to say good night. He stuck his head in the window, planted a wet kiss on me (sticking his tongue in my throat) and put his hand down my shirt to get a boob feel!! I pushed him away and told him how that was WAY out of line! He apologized and said goodnight. I drove home.

That was our first and last date. He joined the Peace Corps soon after and moved abroad.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3055 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
beingmiranda
Member
Member # 32519
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, July 25th (Wednesday)

RSN - holy crap! That was funny.
You are safe though. I was married to a Gemini and now have crossed all Geminis off my list.


Me: now 37
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid mid thirties with biological clock ticking, desparate for a man.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013

Posts: 755 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: NJ
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, July 25th (Wednesday)

He joined the Peace Corps soon after and moved abroad.

Snapdragon, your rebuff drove him out of the country!!!


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17263 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 25th (Wednesday)

This thread is as close to actual dating as I care to get right now. Thank you ALL for the laughs!


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22533 | Registered: Aug 2011
Weatherly
Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, July 25th (Wednesday)

I had been talking to this guy online, and he asked if I wanted to meet. I did, and he said something like he was working a lot the next few weeks, and had his kids on the weekend. So we postponed, I was up near his work a few days later, and we were texting, he said why didn't I just swing by, he'd take his lunch break. I did, when I pulled in, he texted me, asked me to move the car up by the door Ummm...ok. Well, he walked out, was really good looking, hugged me. Then I asked why I had to move the car, he said so we could sit in, out of the rain. That still didn't explain much. So, he finally shows me his ankle. And the lovely piece of jewelry from the state police. He was on house arrest, where I had parked was out of the ok zone.

Apparently he had embezzled $300,000 from his last employer.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4436 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
alex mama
Member
Member # 11858
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, July 25th (Wednesday)

Not sure if this counts, since it was only a message and not and actual date, but there was the guy who emailed and said (verbatim), "It's too bad I don't date moms cause you seem smart and look like you have a nice rack".

Oh, and there was the guy who brought a gun to our first - and last - date. Because "you never know when you might have to shoot back".


"Love yourself. Don't take no shit." - my oldest and dearest friend

Posts: 3311 | Registered: Aug 2006
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, July 26th (Thursday)

Geez Weatherly....you passed on a guy who knew how to accessorize right down to his ankles??


When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
osxgirl
Member
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, July 27th (Friday)

When I first started dating again... well, what happened was the D was supposed to be final anytime, or so I thought. So I had started talking to a few guys from Match.com - being completely honest with them about the D, and that I didn't want to date until the D was final, and that it should be any day.

As it turned out - my ex was an idiot and hadn't followed up with all the paperwork, then when it went to court, the judge tossed it out because I wanted to go back to my maiden name but didn't come to the hearing (WTF? My lawyer was baffled at that one too - she was at the hearing, and it's normal for that to just be automatic & you don't need to actually be at the hearing. The judge said I had to actually BE there to swear I wasn't doing it for illegal purposes or to avoid debts, despite the fact that Maryland law allows someone to revert to their original name on their BC at any time for any reason! Sigh.)

All of this extended things longer than I'd thought, and the guy (a lawyer) I'd been talking to was starting to (understandably) get impatient to meet, so I agreed to meet for coffee, with the understanding that we were just meeting the once, and that although extended, the D still should be final fairly soon.

I'd already had one red flag for him - lying about his age. He had made himself almost 10 years younger in his profile. When we were on the phone and he talked about his education, I could tell the numbers weren't adding up and asked him about it. He was impressed that I figured it out just from what little he'd said, and told me he had done it because he found he didn't get responses from the right age range when he put his real age.

I gave him benefit of the doubt, but was on guard at that point.

When we met, he seemed ok, so we continued talking on the phone.

Shortly thereafter, during phone conversations:
- I found out that he had also lied about being "widowed", because women don't want to date men of his age that have never been married.

- That he was a "reverend"... He had started his own church (in name only), that he claimed was to help underprivileged kids, but had the "added benefit" of giving him tax-exempt status.. and that he kind of felt that anyone who didn't take advantage of that was a fool.

(If you're wondering why I kept talking to him after this stuff... there was a lot of mental/emotional abuse from my ex during the M, and I later realized I had been jumping back in WAY too soon, and that lack of self-esteem after the abuse was an issue for me.)

- And during the last time he called me, it started out with, "So, are you divorced yet?" When I told him that my L was working on getting everything straightened out, and that another court date hadn't been set yet, he proceeded to berate me for not having found a new lawyer, because obviously mine was incompetent or I would have been D'd already, went off on me that I wasn't trying hard enough to get it done, and ended the call with, "So, call me when you are divorced."

That was in 2004. Think he's still waiting by the phone?


Posts: 2192 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, August 14th (Tuesday)

I had to revive this one ... a guy this weekend turned out to be a major clinger on our 3rd date. He walked me home after dinner in my neighborhood, and the proceeded to stand in my doorway (so I couldn't close the door) grinning like an idiot for 30 minutes. Half an hour, ya'll.

I said, "I have stuff I need to work on, I'm sorry I can't invite you in" and "It's getting late, you should probably go before it starts raining" and "Would you like me to walk you to your car?". He just kept saying how much he enjoyed our time, and asking for "one more hug" and that he really didn't want to leave. I finally said, "Okay, I know, but it's time for you to go." and put a hand on his chest and pushed him out of my doorway.

Needless to say, that's been cut off now.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
SouthernGal
Member
Member # 27315
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, August 14th (Tuesday)

I haven't dated in nearly 20 years so I don't have any current w.t.f. moments from actual dates.

I do have two favourites from on-line dating messages.

Now bear in mind that these are the opening salvos of the dating wars from these particular guys. Yeah - I didn't contact either one.

Winner of the least original (yet still offensive) comment award:

wow i would love to be doing you while you where doing her

** Note my profile does say that I am bisexual. It also says very clearly that I am into monogamy and DO NOT message me if you're looking for a threesome, swinging, or screwing around on your SO/Spouse. So clearly he didn't read my profile at all. LOL

Winner of the most confusing, w.t.f. is that even supposed to mean award goes to:

Ur love is to the lover's love to his soul, and without ur love the lover won't have a soul

What? Huh?


BS (Me) XWH (him) M nearly 16 yrs
1 DD (teens)
D-day #1 12/09, #2 2/10
Divorced 10/6/10

Posts: 3862 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The Deep (Fried) South
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, August 14th (Tuesday)

Email exchange recently went something like this:

PsychoGuy: What no email am I ugly?
Me: I don't understand. ?
PG: Well you viewed my profile and then didn't message me.
Me: no you are not ugly
PG: You are beautiful!
PG: (minutes later) so what's up?
PG: (minutes later) So are you not allowed to email while at work?
PG: (later that evening!) Are you still interested in communicating?!

Me: BLOCK
-----------------------------

PG#2 : I would like to get to know you. Here are some small talk details about me.

Me: Thank you for the note. However I looking to date in my town, locally. (this was directly stated in my profile paragraph part)

PG#2: Well I didn't think 42 miles was too far! :-( (yes exactly 42 he must have done mapquest to find out the precise number of miles.

Me: BLOCK. what part of no does he not understand?

[This message edited by will get by at 12:19 PM, August 14th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 4604 | Registered: Dec 2009
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, August 14th (Tuesday)

I didn't read this one the first time around but OMG, I had to try my hardest not to LOL. Thren's chin sucker about killed me off.

Things like this make me not want to date.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15271 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, August 14th (Tuesday)

ama,

Okay, I know, but it's time for you to go." and put a hand on his chest and pushed him out of my doorway.

Needless to say, that's been cut off now.

You cut off your hand???


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5287 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
willowiris
Member
Member # 5372
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, August 14th (Tuesday)

Gentleman sent me a message online. I read it on my phone, but did not answer because I was busy with the kids and wasn't near a computer. He sent me a hostile message an hour and a half later saying he KNEW I had read his message, but I didn't answer, and he was a NICE guy, and didn't I want to go out with a NICE guy??

I wrote him back later that night and told him I had read his message on my phone but wasn't near a computer to answer it as I was with my children, and they come first. I then told him I felt like he lived too far away for me to date and I didn't think we would be a good match.

He asked if I would critique his profile from a female viewpoint and tell him what was wrong with it because women weren't responding to him. I told him for one, he shouldn't get all hostile if someone didn't get back to him in an hour because it looked desperate. Then I corrected all his grammar and spelling and sent his profile back. It was really very poor. It said "I like rideing motercicles." wish I were making that up.


D-day 09/2004
Filed for divorce 9/2006

We accept the love we think we deserve. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."


Posts: 12326 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: Margaritaville
ImNellNow
Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, August 14th (Tuesday)

t/j
Then I corrected all his grammar and spelling and sent his profile back.

willowiris, I think I looooove you.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
survivorman
Member
Member # 29515
Happy  Posted: 12:35 AM, September 13th (Thursday)

Just stumbled across this thread. Does my self-esteem good to hear what idiots other men can be. Reminds me that, all things considered, I like my odds in the dating world.

My strangest online encounter was almost a year ago. I'd just started testing the waters again after a year of separation (and NC). So one night I'm checking out recent visitors to my profile and see a woman whose photo didn't show her face, but was cropped from shoulder to mid-thigh to show off her tight red dress. Her profile, though it wasn't disturbingly explicit, made clear that she was basically trolling for sex (and a rather particular kind of sex, too).

Given that she wasn't unattractive -- and that I'm a guy -- I continued reading. Wasn't long, though, until something seemed out of joint. She was also a half-time single parent, she liked going out dancing and her favorite movies struck an oddly familiar chord. By the time I'd checked her age, height and languages spoken (where she'd listed fluency in "Other" in an obvious effort to disguise herself), I realized I knew her.

She was, of course, my then STBWxW. This little stunt earned her the nickname Slime Mold.

I was somewhat unthrilled by this discovery, which I still consider a passive-aggressive attempt to provoke me into... well, what, exactly, I don't know. Into breaking NC is my best guess. But fortunately I never gave SM the satisfaction, and since I was in stealth mode at the time, she never even saw that I'd visited her profile. I hope it's a big fucking mystery to her to this very day.

For me, it's now just a great story that keeps me competitive when it's time to tell weirdest-dating-experience tales online


Me: BH; Her: Slime Mold; DS7
D-day #1 6/09; D-day #2 8/10; divorced 3/12

After what you did I can't stay on
And I'll probably feel a whole lot better
When you're gone


Posts: 489 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: survivorman
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, September 13th (Thursday)

Last month, I went on a date to the art museum with a guy that was a little too into his dog.

At almost every picture, he'd have to stop and make a comment about whether or not his dog would like the painting.

Sample quotes (with a fake dog name for anonymity):

"I could never have that picture in my house. It would give Sandy nightmares."

"Sandy would really love to see that picture. Purple is her favorite color."

"It's too bad Sandy couldn't be here with us today; she'd love to see the paintings in this gallery, but she might try to bite that sculpture!"

It was very odd. It wasn't just one or two comments, but almost every time we stopped and looked at something! Then he started going off on how public transportation doesn't allow dogs, and a few other dog-related rants.

I am a major animal-lover, but this guy was just weird. I have a female friend who is a little too into her dog, and I wish I could have set them up, but she's 25 years older than him.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3093 | Registered: Dec 2011
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, September 13th (Thursday)

"Purple is her favorite color."

Wut???

Dogs are colorblind, correct?


Posts: 3065 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Funny  Posted: 1:59 PM, September 13th (Thursday)

Found this online and laughed so much! This is not my story btw.

"I became concerned midway through the beers at Taco Mac that whereas I was hating this guy a little more with every passing second, he was looking at me and licking his lips like a starving man hallucinating the image of me turning into a bucket of fried chicken. I knew we were going to have an expectations problem on our hands later, because no way in hell was I hooking up with Dwayne by that point. I grew ever more nervous as he leered a bit more obviously with every beer."


Posts: 4604 | Registered: Dec 2009
gettinout
Member
Member # 13700
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, September 13th (Thursday)

Met a guy for a drink...One drink each.he told me he was a modern man and believed the bill should be split in half. The total bill was 9.54. I asked him if he really wanted my five dollars? His reply was only if I really wanted to. I told him ,no I paid for gas to meet him in his neighborhood.
As he got into his Merecedes suv he asked if I wanted to come over to his house for a nightcap.Told him it was late and I had to go....ummm it was 730 lol


me:51 BS
him:47.serial cheater
DD:20
DS:15
Married: 20 years
Too many affairs
1 OC
Too many false R's
Now he is love with another
Update:DIVORCED..not sure I like it but at least it is the truth!!

Posts: 848 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: somewhere
Griefstricken25
Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, September 13th (Thursday)

I got to go on a date with the Cheesey Nut Man--nuff said!

My favourite SI dating story thus far.

And how did I miss this thread the first two times it went around?? This one deserves a permanent spot at the top of NB. Then all the newbies who wonder if it's too soon to date might have a few reasons not to.

[This message edited by Griefstricken25 at 10:35 PM, September 13th (Thursday)]


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2496 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
beingmiranda
Member
Member # 32519
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, September 14th (Friday)

I swear I love this thread.
New guy in the office started this past Monday. Being that it is a small office, I am trying to be friendly and get him acquainted. Turns out that we know two people in common one being my current SO!! Second one being SO's manager. SO and his manager both work at another company. Well he takes my friendliness a different way I guess.
him: "Hey, can I take you to lunch tomorrow?"
me: "no I don't think so"
him: "but I'll use my corporate card and expense it...free lunch!!!"
me: "why not use it on your wife and twin daughters then?"

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEN!!


Me: now 37
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid mid thirties with biological clock ticking, desparate for a man.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013

Posts: 755 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: NJ
pjkmkjm23
Member
Member # 35778
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, September 14th (Friday)

Omg I love this thread!

phmh: is the anonymity for your date or the dog?

Note to self: do not bring my nuts on first date covered in cheese and no chin sucking!


Me (BS) - 40
Her (EX) - 47
3 kids - D13, S12, D6.
M 15yrs, together ~17 yrs.
DD#1: Sept. 2004 mOM #1 (rugswept, I forgive...eventually)
DD#2: May 2012 mOM #2 (she walked-away)
Divorced: July 2013
Custody battle from hell: ongoing :-(

Posts: 273 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Canada
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, September 15th (Saturday)

phmh: is the anonymity for your date or the dog?

Ha ha! I'm always worried that people might recognize themselves when I write such things and I don't want to hurt any feelings.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3093 | Registered: Dec 2011
million pieces
Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, September 15th (Saturday)

My dogs would love this post if they could read...


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1142 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
HappilyUnMarried
Member
Member # 21299
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

I got to go on a date with the Cheesey Nut Man--nuff said!

My scars are pretty deep and will remind me of my ordeal for a long time, but they have healed over and are no longer a threat to my existence.

Sad in AZ: When I read this post I didn't realize the second part was your tagline... Thought that Cheesy Nut Man was the one who had scarred you for life! Or maybe he did???

[This message edited by HappilyUnMarried at 7:02 PM, September 15th (Saturday)]


True happiness comes from within, not from someone else.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy

Posts: 1291 | Registered: Oct 2008
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

No scars from the Cheesy Nut Man! But I did decide to give up internet dating-for good!


I promise to surround myself with amazing souls and love them fiercely.

Posts: 19139 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
redvixen
Member
Member # 15259
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

I'm sure folks have heard this before, but here goes..

1st date with someone I met online after splitting up with XWH (yes, too soon)..We emailed back and forth for a week before agreeing to meet in a local restaurant/bar. My photos were all within six months and included a full length pic (I am a curvy girl). He was very concerned at how recent my pics were. He sent me more pics than were on his profile; he was good looking, average in size. So we meet...and he is a good 100 lbs heavier than the pictures he claimed were from the previous year!! (I don't mind heavy guys, but for pete's sake, be HONEST). Besides all that, he claimed that his wife changed all the locks while he was "away on business". Eventually he sort of said she accused him of cheating, to which he swore that he never did "though he had plenty of opportunity". Next!

Well, unfortunately, the next guy, also an online person..we met on Halloween at a bar (I only drank soda). It was a really nice conversation, and I thought he was adorable. But then his idea for a second date was to come over to my house after my kids went to school, and for me to "make him breakfast". Ug. No. Next!

The worst one EVER, though, was through the newspaper personals (I didn't have a computer back then). We went on one date, and he seemed nice, and we made plans for a second, but due to phone conversations in between, I realized I really didn't want to date him. He was really hung up on his ex-wife - she was all he talked about. So we met on the beach for our second date, and I told him that while I enjoyed our time together, I just didn't feel we were right for each other. He actually took it well (I don't think he was all that into me, either). We even had dinner after the beach, and I went home (it was in my town, but he didn't know where I lived, and I walked through streets/abandoned lots just in case he tried to follow me.

The next day, after I got home from a baseball game with friends, there was a message from a detective on my answering machine. Turned out, after my date left me, he went straight to his ex-wife's house, and proceeded to beat her up. He even called the police and reported that she'd fallen down stairs. The hospital determined her injuries were not consistent with a fall, the police were called back. When they went to his apartment to talk to him, they discovered he'd stabbed himself ... to death.
Detectives came to my house and I had to tell them how his demeanor had been at dinner the previous night. It was very surreal. Scared the crap out of me.


Me, BS Him WS early 40's at the start, cheated before and after cancer diagnosis.
Two A's, two OW's, online looking for sex partners, two false R's.
Threw him out in January 2009.
Divorce final March 30th, 2010

XWH died Dec. 2010


Posts: 4104 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New Jersey
birdy
Member
Member # 30937
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

Redvixen.....WHOA!!!

Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2011
Griefstricken25
Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

The next day, after I got home from a baseball game with friends, there was a message from a detective on my answering machine. Turned out, after my date left me, he went straight to his ex-wife's house, and proceeded to beat her up. He even called the police and reported that she'd fallen down stairs. The hospital determined her injuries were not consistent with a fall, the police were called back. When they went to his apartment to talk to him, they discovered he'd stabbed himself ... to death.

Holy crap!!


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2496 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Dawn4
Member
Member # 34073
Default  Posted: 3:09 AM, September 16th (Sunday)

Redvixen, omg, I think I would take a looooong hiatus from dating after that happened! yikes!


" You must always know how long to stay and when to go." - Let Him Fly, The Dixie Chicks

"This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before". - Beavis and Butthead

Posts: 669 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Canada
Hope24
Member
Member # 9344
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, September 16th (Sunday)

Red Vixen wins.


She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

Posts: 7603 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
hurtinky
Member
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, September 16th (Sunday)

I was out with a man who started choking on a bite of hot dog. I'm embarrassed to admit that for a few seconds I was in a state of shock about it. (I'm a nurse and should have sprung into action!) About the time I got my bearings, and started to get up to go over to him and do the HM, he started coughing and then gagging, and he vomited onto the table.


Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12



Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
pjkmkjm23
Member
Member # 35778
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, October 21st (Sunday)

Hurtinky: wow...how's that for first impressions, lol?!

Redvixen: WOW!! That is very surreal!! I'd be very hesitant about dating online or through personal ads ever again after that!! Hell, I'll be thinking about that when I start OLD myself!! You win, hands down!!


Me (BS) - 40
Her (EX) - 47
3 kids - D13, S12, D6.
M 15yrs, together ~17 yrs.
DD#1: Sept. 2004 mOM #1 (rugswept, I forgive...eventually)
DD#2: May 2012 mOM #2 (she walked-away)
Divorced: July 2013
Custody battle from hell: ongoing :-(

Posts: 273 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, October 21st (Sunday)

Damn, redvixen.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22533 | Registered: Aug 2011
whyohwhyohwhy
Member
Member # 17890
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, October 21st (Sunday)


About two years ago, as I was going thorugh my endless divorce, I was out with some friends at a jazz club when a man at a nearby table made some moves on me.

He was much heavier than what I'm used to, but my girlfriends said "You should just go out and have a drink with him. You need to get out of the house." He claimed that he was separated......technically, I was too at that point, although we were just waiting on the judge, so I figured why not.....

Long story short...we had an early dinner followed by a movie, nothing spectacular. After the movie, I asked what had happened with his wife.He started saying that she had ballooned to over 200 lbs., which was interesting because he was easily over 200 pounds himself, and probably around 5'9".


He also said that while they weren't going to get a divorce because of "insurance", they both lived in separate towns, but he was at her house whenever she needed him to be.

He then told me that he had used prostitutes as he had always been curious as to what it would be like to sleep with a really beautiful prostitute. I asked how much they cost (because I was absolutely stunned at this revelation), and he told me they were $900 per time.

Needless to say, that was our only date.


what did I ever do to deserve this?

Me:47 BS
Him: X, 51 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD14, DD8 divorced


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: east coast
roadlesstraveled
Member
Member # 13501
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, October 21st (Sunday)

I wish I didn't have so many of these to share...but here are a couple of recent ones!

1. I went out on a first date with a guy from match. Not only did he talk about himself non-stop for 2 hours, without asking me a single question, he spent a good portion of that time talking about how to artificially inseminate a horse. In great detail. I now know what an AV is and why you shouldn't push the straw in too far. (don't even ask!!!) It was so awkward, I didn't even know what to say. So I said something along the lines of, "wow, you must really know a lot about animal reproduction"..to which he replied with a wink, "Yeah, I learned a few tricks over the years". NEXT!

2. There was the guy who asked me if he could fly me to an island for our first date. I politely declined since I didn't know him at all or anything about his flying skills. So his back-up plan was to take me to a shooting range so he could teach me how to shoot. We didn't ever go on a first date.

3. Then there was the guy who I had a first date with that went OK. He was nice, but really hyperactive. He admitted on the date that he had ADD. During dinner we were at a very crowded restaurant with bench-style seating. I had to sit in the middle of two benches and about 3-inches away from the family eating next to us. So he decided to ask me (very loudly!!).."hey, is your crack on the crack?". He was the only one laughing! He then texted me the following day and said that he had an early work meeting the next day and would be in my area. So he wanted to know if he could come over and sleep at my place so he wouldn't have to get up early in the morning in drive. Um....Hell no!!!

Maybe one of these days I'll meet a keeper but as for now, I could write a book of dates gone wrong or just not so right....


"Life is what happens when your plans go astray."

Posts: 617 | Registered: Jan 2007
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 1:47 AM, October 22nd (Monday)

I now know what an AV is and why you shouldn't push the straw in too far. (don't even ask!!!)


BW (me) - 44
DS 13, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3190 | Registered: Dec 2008
GingerBird
Member
Member # 19097
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, October 22nd (Monday)

Back in my uni days of sharing a house, one of the other student's brother came to visit one weekend.

I know I'm going to sound cruel but he is best described as an incredibly overweight 30 year old with no actual experience with women whatsoever.

Everyone else had gone to bed and we were chatting. He said he was glad to get to speak to me alone becuase

I don't have much success with women because the ones I usually try and pull are completely out of my league so I thought I would try with you

I can see why he doesn't usually have much success. I politely declined and tried very hard not to burst out laughing


"True happiness does not come from experiencing pleasures of the body and ego—but from having experiences that stimulate your core self—your “soul”—challenging and inspiring you to grow into your highest potential as a person"

Posts: 836 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: UK
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, October 22nd (Monday)

I don't have much success with women because the ones I usually try and pull are completely out of my league so I thought I would try with you
Charming.

Ok. I dated a guy for a couple of months, and I thought things were going well. He was nice, thoughtful, took me to nice places, started talking tentatively about a future together, then I get a phone call from him that his dad is dying in the hospital. So I don't see him for a while, although he keeps calling me to let me know how his dad is doing. He did stop by work once and we got together for supper, all the while he is telling me all his family dynamics, how his sister is upset with him and jealous and wants the dad's money.....THEN I get a phone call from him that he is going out of state because his dad died and the funeral is in TN and there are lots of cousins, he is all upset and crying, I am worried about him, he calls me from TN, tells me he is helping his cousin with a roofing job and almost fell off the roof because he is so upset over everything.

Then I don't hear from him for a whole week. I'm worried and leave two or three messages on his phone just asking him to check in so I know he is okay.

I get a call from his ex girlfriend. He went back to her. His dad was never even sick. He made the ENTIRE thing up while he was trying to decide whether to move forward with us or to go back to her. We had a nice chat for an hour to ferret out all the lies he had told both of us.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14900 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, October 22nd (Monday)

I just have to say... every time someone bumps this and I get an email alert that it's got new posts (I started this thread, but I don't claim responsibility for it ), my sick twisted little heart gets all happy. Because I freaking love these stories.

Keep. them. coming.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, October 22nd (Monday)

Keep. them. coming.
You asked for it.

I have a guy that has been trying to get me to go out with him for 2 years at work. He is NOT getting the hints (and the not so subtle "I am not dating you" phrases). When he first started hitting on me, and I started getting sick of it, I told him he would not want to date me because I have a psycho for an ex and I have a P.O. against him and he is dangerous. "Hitman" tells me that he has killed a man once (trying to let me know he is up for the job if I choose to go out with him.)

Of course, it was self defense, (whatever) he did not go to jail for it...blahblahblah, but after he told me it split the guy in two, I had a male friend tell him to STF away from me.

Went on a first date with a guy and he spent the whole time whining about how his ex screwed him over and did a number on him. I felt like his counselor.

Then there is the clinger. Who it started out really well, he was treating me wonderfully, but started getting incredibly possessive after 2 months. Started complaining if I went out with my friends (saying things like, "well, I guess I am too boring for you" and "I can come along, and I will just hang out in the back of the bar and you won't even notice I'm there until it is time to take you home." Ick.

One more! (for now). Dated a guy for about 2 months (seems to be my limit for most of them). He also was very nice, treated me really well. Very very cute! However; he seemed to think he was Billy Idol because every time I went over I had to listen to him howl and play his electric guitar, and it was always Billy Idol (I still can't listen to Billy Idol--I think that traumatized me for life). Then, he started telling me how he wanted me to paint my fingernails, get my hair cut, and how to run my business and who to have as friends. All in one week. NEXT!!!!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14900 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
redvixen
Member
Member # 15259
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, October 22nd (Monday)

Can I comment some more? I promise nothing else is as horrifying as my last post here..

I went out to a bar/restaurant with several friends one night. Surprisingly (to me) a guy at the bar started talking to me. We had a great time, all of us chatting and laughing. He asked for my phone number - I gave it to him. We chatted on the phone for a couple of weeks, and made plans for dinner. He told me he had a roommate, and lived not too far from me. He had given me a cell number, but also gave me the house number, because his service was spotty. Well, something came up the day before our date (my mom wanted to surprise my brother before his birthday). I called the house phone because his voice mail was full) and left a message.

Half an hour later I got a call from his roommate. A woman. An IRATE woman. Who wanted to know just who the f*** I was and what was going on? Oh, the conversation we had.... Not only was she his girlfriend, but apparently, he had a wife as well in Massachusetts!!!! She was quite interested to learn that she was his "roommate". We were trading his stories back and forth when he came home...her last words to me were, "Oh, lookit now he's come home. We have a few things to discuss.." I wished her luck, and never heard from him again.


Me, BS Him WS early 40's at the start, cheated before and after cancer diagnosis.
Two A's, two OW's, online looking for sex partners, two false R's.
Threw him out in January 2009.
Divorce final March 30th, 2010

XWH died Dec. 2010


Posts: 4104 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New Jersey
quedagh
Member
Member # 24195
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, October 23rd (Tuesday)

Most w.t.f. moment--

The date was pleasant. The woman was a talker and a few questions would keep the conversation going with little verbal expense on my part. Eventually she asked about my littles. I seriously addressed their importance, their priority status, and how fatherhood was the greatest thing ever.

Her next statement, "I never wanted kids, but my ex did so now I have my daughter. Don't get me wrong, I love her and everything. It just wasn't what I wanted."

Perhaps she wasn't interested and was trying to run me off. Sorta worked.

I like to visit- exchange of sentences, ideas, commonalities and differences- but oddly, most of the first dates have been filled with a steady story stream from the woman, almost a manic need to address being nervous with words or something. When it is over I am often struck with the t.m.i. nature of the whole ordeal.

On the third date with one woman- I disclosed the nature of my D. Shock! Horror! "She had no idea what she lost!"

Then she commenced to tell me about the two year affair she had behind her husband's back with the "love of her life" who is still married to his wife so... not meant to be and how her ex never found out and never will but he did act weird during the affair.

The last date I went on was with persistent young married woman who kept texting and emailing me after we co-chaperoned a week long school trip. Gentle nos weren't working so I accepted a coffee "date." When I got there, I gave her a note card with a list: read not just friends by glass, a list of phone numbers for IC, her three daughter's names, her husband's name, the definition of NC, the definition of Schmoopy infatuation, a reminder I am fourteen years older than her, a list of the horrible things I called my ex when I found out, and a list of the horrible things I called my ex's op with a caveat that I was not that guy.

I think dating is done for me. It isn't fun. It is stress. Maybe after my littles are grown- twelve years. I can wait twelve years.


Divorced and safer, mostly.


Posts: 803 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Recovery Land
deeppain
Member
Member # 27760
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, October 23rd (Tuesday)

I met a woman on OKC. We talked for a bit there and everything seemed ok so we exchanged numbers.

We talked and texted on the phone; things were going really well. One night, she told me she was going to head to the movies and wanted to know if I would join her. It was our first date, dont really care for movies on first dates but sure.

We get to the movies an hour early so we can talk. We had been IMing and texting for two weeks now. So it was a surprise to me that she was living with a man who was her ex-boyfriend that she broke up with a month ago. A further surprise that she had been married before and that the ex-husband was still involved in her life. When I mean involved, I mean they would go on dates, vacations, you name it.

I did not want to be impolite; I stayed through the movie and she grabbed my arm and snuggled with me while we watched. Very uncomfortable to say the least. After the movie I find out she is polyamorous and thats what broke up her marriage and she didnt think it was a big deal.

I dropped her off, shook her hand and said goodnight. She thought I was being a gentleman but I just wanted out of there. The worst part did not come till after I left and I hit the diner for a cup of coffee.

She texted me saying that she had a wonderful night, that her shirt smelled like me and she was not going to take it off.

That was a way wtf moment!


ME:37 yr old BS
HER: 39yr old WW
16 years married
18 years together
Currently Separated
Divorce incoming...
2 kids

Posts: 97 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: PA
GreenMom
Member
Member # 36385
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, October 23rd (Tuesday)

I had a guy contact me on a dating site because he prefers "bigger women" (wow, really? Ooh, pick me!) and wondered if I'd be interested in an "ANR" relationship. Don't google if you are weak of stomach.


DD#1 6/14/12
DD#2 7/29/12
Reconcilation attempt didn't last long...WH moved out 8/10/12
Divorcing... hoping to be done soon
Making a fantastic NB for myself and my family!

Posts: 535 | Registered: Aug 2012
Griefstricken25
Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, October 23rd (Tuesday)

and wondered if I'd be interested in an "ANR" relationship. Don't google if you are weak of stomach.

I googled.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2496 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Grace and Flowers
Member
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, October 23rd (Tuesday)

I just shared this a few weeks ago....

I threw up a profile on Match, just to see what was out there....what OLD might be like.

My first response/message was from my gynecologist!

Not sure he knew I was a patient, but I had just seen him a few months before.

Freaked. Me. Out.

I don't think I want to date anyone, ever.


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1112 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, February 23rd (Saturday)

This is a minor one, but I met a guy for drinks recently who kept sticking his fingers in his mouth to pick food out of his teeth. We were sharing finger food appetizers with our drinks.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
Cookie7088
Member
Member # 30038
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, February 23rd (Saturday)

I have you all beat....

HE brought HIS MOM on OUR FIRST DATE....I should say OUR ONLY MEETING...cause there was no DATE...nor further MEETING...

It probably wouldn't have been a bad deal if he were 13....but at 46....

W-T-F??????


Posts: 621 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: U.S.
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, February 23rd (Saturday)

... wondered if I'd be interested in an "ANR" relationship. Don't google if you are weak of stomach.

I Googled too. Oh, I how I wish I hadn't.

Y'all crack me up and scare the hell out of me. And this is why I'm afraid to date.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15271 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, February 23rd (Saturday)

How have I missed this thread??? It's awesome

The one that sticks out in my mind is the guy I met thru POF about a year ago. We'd been talking for a couple of weeks - he had two girls - 6 & 9. We plan to meet at a local shopping area with lots of restaurants and outdoor areas - he picks the playscape area. I walk up and it takes me about 10 seconds to realize his girls are playing on the playscape. He brought his daughters to meet a stranger. AYFKM?

They were running up, sitting next to him, staring at me, it was all very weird and awkward, to say the least. I managed to escape fairly quickly.

That was our first and last date.


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4160 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, February 23rd (Saturday)

My first response/message was from my gynecologist!


Oh, my.


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4491 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, February 23rd (Saturday)

My craziest date ever; I posted a bit about it here when it happened, but I don't think I posted this story about it. It felt like I was on a really weird drug trip. He's the only guy I met OLD that I've wanted to stay friends with. We are FB friends, and I went to see his poetry reading. But there could never be anything romantic between us. His parents are extremely wealthy, which plays into the story a bit later.

On our date, we somehow got on the topic of being homeless. He told me that he'd been homeless for awhile in the past, as he'd wanted to get closer to his spiritual side, and he felt he couldn't do that in a home. He usually lived under a bridge, but sometimes he'd find an abandoned house in the ghetto.

So I said, "Homeless? Here? In <really cold city>?" He nodded his head. I told him that if I were choosing to be homeless for spiritual reasons, I'd go someplace with better weather, such as San Diego. He replied, "Well I really wasn't homeless for that long."

I asked him how long. He looked down, rather embarrassed, and replied, "Eight years." (This makes me laugh every single time.) EIGHT YEARS!

So I asked him why he decided to no longer be homeless and he told me that he'd borrowed his parents' car and got a DUI. He got put on house arrest and said, "you may be shocked to hear this, but you can't be on house arrest if you live under a bridge!" I told him that I was not shocked to hear this. After living back in his parents' house for awhile, he realized that it was much more pleasant to live inside one than under a bridge. So his parents bought him a luxury condo. Probably because they were ecstatic that he was living indoors again!

Oh my. I have so many other stories from my experience with him. He is a very gentle soul and I'm glad to know him, but the entire date made me feel like Alice in Wonderland. I'm thinking about writing a book :)


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3093 | Registered: Dec 2011
LineInTheSand
Member
Member # 20399
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, February 23rd (Saturday)

She texted me saying that she had a wonderful night, that her shirt smelled like me and she was not going to take it off.

Wonder if she's still wearing it??

I met a guy online who wanted to know if I had cankles. I kid you not! I replied, "No, not yet!" Weirdo.


Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2008
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, February 24th (Sunday)

See. This is why I have absolutely NO desire to ever date again. Ever.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3654 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, February 24th (Sunday)

EasyDoesIt, I agree - dating should be fun for anyone who chooses to engage in it, not stressful. Some of these stories are enough to turn anyone off!

Edit: my wording was insensitive and read very poorly. Edited to better express myself.

[This message edited by Amazonia at 9:18 AM, February 24th (Sunday)]


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, February 24th (Sunday)

Well, I'm laughing but still thinking that I'm not going back to OLD!


ish kabibble

Posts: 4160 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, February 24th (Sunday)

I've deactivated my profile, but reading this thread has kind of made me want to activate it again.

Even though I didn't meet anyone I wanted to have a relationship with, I did have a lot of fun and interesting experiences.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3093 | Registered: Dec 2011
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, February 24th (Sunday)

@Amazonia....I rarely get offended by anyone or anything. But, in all honesty, I think your post was rather rude. I can laugh at the things others are posting, and have chuckled over quite a few of the incidents. I'm very much at peace with my life right now and a large part of that is because I know that I am a bad picker and so have chosen to eliminate myself from the dating pool. I have a lot of fun with friends and family, with clients and their animals, and with studying and working on my formal education. I was married to a vicious and psychotic individual. Part of my healing is recognizing that I grew up in a family with a very sick sense of normal. I have no desire to re-make the mistakes of my past. I personally choose to not date and invite more grief into my life. You might consider that everyone is in a different place in their healing...and that people have to heal at their own pace. I do not appreciate the veiled insult. We're supposed to be here to help and encourage each other, and this is supposed to be a safe place. We're not supposed to be insulting other posters. Good luck to you in your healing and dating adventures. My life is very full without adding a member of the opposite sex to it. And I feel no loss or absence. And, trust me, I have one hell of a sense of humor.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3654 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, February 24th (Sunday)

I'm sorry EDI I really didn't mean it as an insult. IME these are only a portion of the dating experiences most people have (the other portion the good stuff!) and I was just thinking that before I was ready to date, this kind of stuff horrified me, whereas now I laugh it off and move on.

I really didn't mean to imply you didn't have a sense of humor, that your life wasn't full, that you choosing not to date means you aren't healing, or otherwise insult you!

I don't think there's anything wrong with not dating, or you. In fact, it sounds like you're being very wise not to date, with your circumstances and motivations. Please accept my apologies for the way my comment came across to you - and be assured that the way it was read was definitely not the way it was meant!

ETA: I think being healed before dating is good, but I don't think the inverse is necessary - it's not like anybody hits a point where they are X-amount healed (however you measure that ) and suddenly the next step is supposed to be dating. There's nothing wrong with not dating, and I would never mean to tell anyone that there is!

[This message edited by Amazonia at 9:44 AM, February 24th (Sunday)]


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, February 24th (Sunday)

Thank you for apologizing. I think I'm just being overly sensitive. My dad passed away last night and there are many FOO issues, too numerous to name, but I'm not in a good place today. Not at all. I'm sorry I took offense. Just a bad day and no desire to suffer any more loss in my life. I'm doing great overall. I spend most of my evenings either studying or with my best friend and her husband, or with her mom, or other friends. Sometimes my son comes down to visit and there is always Skype with my daughter and granddaughter in Hawaii. I realized that I never had a true marriage and companionship, oneness...and I really just can't go there again. It isn't so much that I'm afraid of getting hurt. It's just that I know I'll never trust again and I'm OK with that. I know that my FOO is too screwed up for me to be a good picker. I equate it to learning to live without a limb you thought you needed. Yeah, the limb is gone, but those ParaOlympians kick ass. Hugs.

[This message edited by EasyDoesIt at 10:42 AM, February 24th (Sunday)]


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3654 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, February 24th (Sunday)

I met a guy who happened to have some friends in common with me. We actually met at an outdoor concert. Nice guy, we hit it off. dated for a couple of weeks when he asked to escort me to a charity event we both were attending. His house was between the venue and me. So I agreed to drive to his house and we would go from there to the event. While there I was given the tour of his home.. very nice. It was a two story home which is kind of scarce in florida. Going up the stairs I was met by a wall of bookcases. Behind one of the bookcases was a hidden door. He couldn't wait to show me his 'safe' room. The room looked like the red room of pain from 50 Shades of Grey!

The first words out of my mouth "I am not into pain." He did not skip a beat with his answer.."You don't have to receive, you can give."

We went to the event... with me quizzing him asking which of our mutual friends know of his 'safe' room. I wanted to avoid them setting me up in the future.

We joke he was ahead of his time.. This was almost 10 years ago. Now he is very sought after for his room.

Still not my cup of tea.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4001 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, February 24th (Sunday)

EDI, I'm sorry about your father!

Kajem, did many of your friends know? That's a pretty big revelation on a first date!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, February 24th (Sunday)

Ama, it wasn't the first date.. more like 6 or 7th.

One couple is very into that sort of thing... which did NOT surprise me. One or 2 others know about the room, but he didn't know if they indulged or not.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4001 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, February 24th (Sunday)

I'm not reading well today.

I started to type that I can't imagine talking to friends about my sex life, but then I realized...I totally do talk to my girls about everything.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, February 24th (Sunday)

He didn't need to say anything... just open the door and the subject just sort of came up. Thinking about it... he didn't even need a line. just a key LOL.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4001 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)

Is it too soon to bump this? I think we could all use a good laugh (or at least...I could )


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
birdy
Member
Member # 30937
Default  Posted: 3:02 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)

Is it too soon to bump this? I think we could all use a good laugh (or at least...I could )

Great! I love this thread.


Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2011
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)

Sorry if this is a duplicate....I don't think I shared this above.


OLD guy: Would you send me your undies if I asked?
Me: Do people really do that???
OLD guy: Yes, last OLD girl sent me two pairs after she pleasured herself in them first.
Me: Sorry - no.
OLD guy: I don't mean today. I mean if we get into a relationship.

(Nothing screams 'please date me, I am a gem' like asking for my undies in the first email)


When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)

this one is more on me than on the guy...

At his suggestion I met an OLD guy at a wine tasting. A wine tasting in a grocery store. Granted it was the liquor department of the grocery store and he said the wine club he was in was sponsoring it, but it was still in a florescent lit, white tiled grocery store. We stood in the aisles of the liquor department drinking wine for ah hour. I wasn't that attracted to his picture on line, but decided since he wrote well that I was being too choosy. I wasn't.

We began talking with another couple at the "wine tasting", my date didn't know them but they were very interesting so I invited them to go along with us to dinner! I didn't want to be alone with this guy, didn't know of a way to get out of the dinner part of the date and thought at least this way it might be less "date like". I really enjoyed meeting the other couple! I let them in on what was happening while my date was in the BR and they were very understanding and nice.

Poor man didn't get the hint...and I had to say "I don't think we are a match" when he asked for a second "date" as he walked me to my car. ugh.

[This message edited by better4me at 9:39 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 2818 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
MissMouseMo
Member
Member # 38562
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)

One guy I knew from YEARS before asked me out and while we were sipping drinks he took my hand - and squeezed the flesh between my thumb and forefinger REAL HARD. When I yelped in pain, yanked my hand away, and asked him why in the world he did that he said, "Aw, that didn't hurt."

WTF????

Why would anyone do that, ever?? I mean, you're already questioning your judgment and then something like that happens?

Needless to say, NC after that! (Although I still have no explanation for it.)


It is the gut-wrenching, down-to-your-soul honesty that helps so much. ~paraphrased from CancunCrushed

Posts: 107 | Registered: Feb 2013
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, April 10th (Wednesday)

I have only had 2 OLD dates. The first was great -- he was a really nice guy, cute enough, smart, made good money -- but in a totally different life stage and 10 years younger (which I knew but figured hey, we had a good convo, let's see how it feels in person -- yeah I spent the whole date thinking "oh honey, who can I set you up with from my younger friends?".)

Anyway, date #2 -- he was in a similar timeline from S/D than me, worked in an intriguing-to-me field, seemed nice enough. We met at a local bookstore that has a food court kind of thing as a spontaneous while-we-were-chatting idea. He was painfully nervous and spent the entire time talking about his ex once he learned that I am in school to be a psychologist. I truly felt like it was a therapy session. We parted after maybe 2 hours and he sent me a text by the time I got home saying he thought I was beautiful. Ok. Next morning at 7 am, my phone starts going off. By 8:30 he had sent I thik 5 messages, all saying how he felt like we had a special connection, begging me to see him again that day, etc. I finally gave up on sleeping and sent him a message via OKC that I was not feeling it and that perhaps he should think about whether he was really ready to date given what he had said last night and the intensity with which he was responding to a 2 hour conversation. He continued ALL DAY to send me increasingly detailed messages full of personal information. I ignored and spent the day with my kids and then finally that evening wrote him back and told him to knock it off. Creepy!!

A few days later I closed my OKC account because I went exclusive with the guy I am seeing now. I wonder what he thought of that!

[This message edited by peacelovetea at 8:42 PM, April 10th (Wednesday)]


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 525 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, May 7th (Tuesday)


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
september rain
Member
Member # 18855
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

Without wanting or trying to get into the specific issue I'm going to have to mention in order to tell this story, I will say that one of the strangest dates I ever had was with man who obviously had either no problem being blunt or didn't have much of a filter. My son is grown now, but I raised him as a single mother, from birth because the father didn't want to deal with it (and, admittedly, we weren't married).

I had a date with this man when my son was about five years old. He seemed very nice, and we appeared to have a lot in common. But then he flat-out asked me, and I quote, "so, why did you have your son? Why didn't you just have an abortion? It seems to me that that would have been the best thing to do and I'm not sure I understand why you didn't have an abortion. Don't you think that would have been the best thing to do, for both you and your son?" EXACT quote.

I sat there stunned for a few minutes, then I asked him quietly if he were actually serious and not just displaying a sick sense of humor. He was surprised and said he was very serious, and why would I think otherwise? I grabbed my purse, stood up, said goodbye and for him not to call or contact me again, and left the restaurant. We hadn't ordered yet, so there was no bill to worry about.

Fortunately, I never heard from him again, but I've never, ever forgotten that. When I told my now-husband about it, he must have shook his head for about five minutes.


Remorseful, ashamed and "recovered" FOW and FWSO
Newly married and afraid of the Karma bus

Posts: 489 | Registered: Mar 2008
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)

even as a woman who would probably terminate if I accidentally got pg at this point, that's just wrong to say to someone!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
capri
Member
Member # 14940
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, May 8th (Wednesday)

In the No Filter department:

I have a rather large family. Last guy I went out with--first date--started discussing how many times I must have had sex to have that many children, because obviously (he mused to himself) I didn't pregnant every single time I had sex. He then went on to make comments about how much I did or didn't enjoy sex!

As to messages, here I am in my mid-40s and got a message on okc from a 27 year old who, within the 2nd or 3rd message to me, asked if I liked to text. I said, "Not particularly." His response: "Number?"

I blocked him. Call me over-sensitive, but after my experiences with XH, a guy who blatantly ignores me when I say I don't want to text, and assumes I'll give him my number sets off red flags. Or maybe it's just a generation thing!

Another favorite: those who send short messages and wait for you to hold up the conversation. One guy maxed out at three words in his most verbose message to me. I gave up.


Me: free of the secrets and lies!!!
Divorced 10/2011

Posts: 4483 | Registered: Jun 2007
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, May 8th (Wednesday)

As to messages, here I am in my mid-40s and got a message on okc from a 27 year old who, within the 2nd or 3rd message to me, asked if I liked to text. I said, "Not particularly." His response: "Number?"

he meant "Number?" as in he was going to call to talk versus text?

Edited: Never mind....I misread what you wrote. Now I got it. Duh

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 12:01 PM, July 22nd (Monday)]


When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
september rain
Member
Member # 18855
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, May 8th (Wednesday)

Wow, Capri, I thought mine was bad, lol! How did you respond? I'm not even sure I would have known what to say or do except just to bid a quick adieu.

And Ama, yeah, it was wrong to say no matter how you feel about that issue. I'm glad I at least never had to deal with him again.


Remorseful, ashamed and "recovered" FOW and FWSO
Newly married and afraid of the Karma bus

Posts: 489 | Registered: Mar 2008
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, May 8th (Wednesday)

I met a guy once through a mutual friend. The guy was not really my type, but he was very nice and asked me out on a date. At first I declined, but he kept calling me. Eventually I decided I would go out with him. He called the day before and asked if we could eat at my house because he was a little low on cash at the moment. I was a little put off by this, but being young I agreed to make Italian food and he would bring the wine. He showed up at my house with a bottle of peach snopes(sp). I hate peach flavored drinks and this was about the cheapest wine that you can buy and does not go with Italian food at all. He proceeded to drink the whole bottle by himself, critisized my Italian food (I am a very good cook by the way) saying it was too spicy for him. He then was drunk and sat on my sofa and passed out. I let him sleep it off for a while, woke him up, and told him he had to leave. He apoligized and when I showed him to the door, he grabbed me and gave me the worse, sloppy kiss I have ever had in my life. Needless to say he continued to call and I never agreed to another date and he eventually got the hint and went away. Luckily I never saw him again. What a prize he must have been to his future dates..


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Bumping because I told my "tits" story last night and it reminded me of this thread.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
cryingdaily
Member
Member # 7276
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Oh, I'll play. Maybe it's the guy who showed up for our first meeting in wrinkled shorts, a dirty T-shirt with a hole in the belly and his autistic son in tow.....and talked about, he was glad I had a job because if we got M he would be a stay at home Dad. FYI, he would make sure my laundry was always done.

Then there was the one who was "self employed". By that he meant disability and doing odd jobs, under the table, for beer money. When learning I worked in IT, he thought I'd appreciate how he steals his neighbor's internet and cable.

Oh, can't forget about the angry, behind in his child support guy whose XW was a bitch because she was chasing him for the money he owed her. His picture was 5 years old and he was hitting on two young girls when I walked into the cafe we were meeting at.

I'm sure I can think of more.


Me: BS 48
Him: Doesn't matter any more.
The Royal Court, formerly known as the Princess Posse:
DD31 - Belle
DD23 - Xena
GD10 - Jasmine
GD8 - Ariel
GD Born 9/4/12 - Tink

Posts: 14367 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: Massachusetts
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Here is the most recent wtf message I received:

Oh, his profile pic? He is dressed as a hippie complete with waist length long hair.

Following your dream? slug day? Just a normal happy person? you left out oxymoron! Perfect! BABY were you been all my life!!??
Hello I am xxxx, very interested and very real, talk to me...:) you might not be sorry............

Yeah...pretty sure I'd be sorry.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 40, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3580 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

What the what?


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22533 | Registered: Aug 2011
whyohwhyohwhy
Member
Member # 17890
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Ok..I'll play too...

So, last month I go on okcupid after not being on for quite a while. I do not have a picture up as I work in education and don't want my students finding me, which I state in my profile.


So, I get an IM from a guy who is out of my age range (59) and we chat for a bit. Seems normal, nice conversation etc., so eventually we agree to meet for lunch on Wednesday.

On Tuesday morning, I get a message from him saying that he has to cancel because he "has an opportunity to make money." I messaged him back around lunch time, saying "not a problem, thanks for letting me know."
Then I get a barrage of truly insane emails impugning my character and all sorts of rants...I didn't respond to any of them, and he continued to send whacko messages for the next week.

Then, about two weeks ago, I got a message from a 36 year old Indian guy. I told him that I was too old for him. He responded by saying that he liked older women because they weren't demanding and repeatedly messaged me, asking if and then when he could come over, all of which I ignored.

WTF?


what did I ever do to deserve this?

Me:47 BS
Him: X, 51 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD14, DD8 divorced


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: east coast
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I had gone so far as to talk on the phone with a man. We were discussing meeting in the next few weeks. He indicated that he had some time at the beginning of the next month if I didn't mind waiting. He was about an hour away so this didn't seem odd.

He was not much for texting, but we emailed and did talk on the phone.

He went silent. Did not respond to a couple of messages and I wrote him off as a "poof" and moved on.

After a solid two months of no contact he emails me with the following statement:

Sorry for the lack of communication but I decided I was no good for you or your boys.

Was I supposed to beg? Ask him why? Try to talk him into reconsidering???

I sent back, "Thanks for the explanation and I will trust your judgment."

Two more weeks and then a "wondering how you are doing" message. Crickets to that.

weirdness is out there!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5287 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ninebark
Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, July 4th (Thursday)

Any stories I have are a little less recent.

There was a time when my best friend wanted to try dating though the newspaper (yup I am that old there was no internet, but in my defence I was probably about 20).

She was really nervous and a little embarrassed about it so I told her I would support her and set up a date that way too.

Well We went to a bar at the University I had just graduated from. He was some sort of theater major and that was all he would talk about. It was the first time ever that I couldn't carry a conversation because everytime the conversation would stop he would wip his head around towards me and raise his eyebrows. It was unnerving they were big bushy eyebrows that looked like two caterpillers rearing up for battle everytime he raised them. I couldn't stop staring at them, it was like they hypnotised me.

I also realized close to the middle of the date that he had invited all his friends because I looked over at a table not far from us and saw them staring at me and giving him a thumbs up..eww.

He called for a second date, but noooo. To this day I have no recollection what we talked about but his caterpillers still haunt me.

[This message edited by ninebark at 12:11 PM, July 4th (Thursday)]


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
trumanshow
Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

Amazing what a high percentage of these princes are "self-employed."


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1656 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

I couldn't stop staring at them, it was like they hypnotised me.

Oh, my ribs!

I just got a flashback to the scene from Austin Powers "Mole. Mole. Moley Moley Moley Moley".


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4491 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, July 22nd (Monday)

Because I love this thread. It's what Monday needs.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Happy  Posted: 9:23 AM, July 22nd (Monday)

It was unnerving they were big bushy eyebrows that looked like two caterpillers rearing up for battle everytime he raised them.


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2400 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

Recent guy's email informed me that he "ran out of woman in NY" so now he was looking in PA.

Wow - really?

Then he asked how I felt about "sex and passion"?

Hmmmm - sorry Bubba....thinking you might have too much passion for me if you used up the entire state of NY already!


When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
lostmommy
Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

Hmmmm - sorry Bubba....thinking you might have too much passion for me if you used up the entire state of NY already!

I was talking to a guy for a couple of weeks before I agreed to meet him (we just hadn't had a chance to connect, and I'm thinking that was divine intervention there). One night he called me after he finished using his penis pump. I'm not even kidding. He was talking to me about it with such "passion" that I may have suggested he start dating his pump and not to contact me anymore.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

I'm about to turn 43. I received a message from a 23 year old with the opening line, "My ex is a single Mom."

Um...wha? I wonder if that works on other 20-somethings? This 40-something is


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 40, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3580 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
seekingright2013
Member
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

I love this thread.

I did some OLD back in 2004 - 2005 - 2006. I would get on for a few months, meet some interesting guys, date for awhile, take a break ... rinse & repeat.

ANYWAY, one of my favorite date stories is the guy that had 'tell you later' for his occupation. He was very clever and funny in his emails, so I agreed to meet for coffee.

Turned out he had a mobile dog grooming business ! And the van (outfitted with sink, hoses etc) was his only vehicle !!

Of course we met at a coffee shop, driving ourselves, but I so love the mental image of him pulling up in front of a date's house, in his van.

He seemed like basically a nice guy, kind of talky and came across as neurotic. I can't remember how long he'd been doing the mobile dog grooming business, but I'm thinking it wasn't that successful since he didn't have other transportation. Although I definitely got the vibe he was looking to find somebody to augment his income


BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
“I tramp a perpetual journey.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 114 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
chikastuff
Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

So I have to ask, was he Jim Carey or Jeff Daniels?


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
seekingright2013
Member
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

@ chickastuff -- lol!

That's a good question. His physical look was much more Jeff Daniels but his talkativeness/neurotic energy was much more Jim Carey.

I let him know we were not a match (very gently) and we actually stayed in touch for awhile. He ended up in a relationship and then living with a woman a bit older than him, who had a place down near the beach.

I don't know what happened with the mobile dog grooming business, though.


BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
“I tramp a perpetual journey.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 114 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)

@cmego
Um...wha? I wonder if that works on other 20-somethings? This 40-something is

I said pretty much the same thing to a very young pup who wasn't taking no for an answer. We met in the bar in my building where I have work drinks weekly. The first thing he said to me was "No ring? You must be divorced because there is NO WAY someone hasn't taken THIS off the market."... hand gestures up and down my body.

I laughed and asked him if this line had ever worked. He tried to act all shocked - what line??

The second question I asked was how old he was. 22. Like born in 1991.

I said "Dude, I've been impervious to these lines since before you were born."

He STILL tries it on every single time I see him - we've had to move to a new watering hole!

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 7:18 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)]


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4491 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
trumanshow
Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)

I finally got one to stop when I told him I had a son his age


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1656 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, October 21st (Monday)

Finally found this thread -- it was on the last page and about to get bumped forever!

Most of my first dates lately have just been meh -- nothing great, but nothing to write about here, either.

Most WTF lately was probably the guy with whom I had not much in common, plus he was one of the most negative people I have ever met (possibly excluding XWH who has that crown.)

At the end of the night, he told me that he thought things were a little awkward (you think?) but that it takes several dates to know someone. Plus, since he doesn't have any friends, he'd really like to be mine. Desperate much? Even if I had been interested in a second date, that would have killed it.

I really need to get better at my pre-screening on OLD!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3093 | Registered: Dec 2011
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, October 21st (Monday)

My most recent date "recently" ended his third marriage. His goal?? To get married again.

To each his own, but I am NOT getting married again ever. Seriously.

His follow up question: Since we are obviously looking for different "end games" did I see a FWB possibility?

I have no issues with FWB... but we would have to be FRIENDS!! Which in my mind takes longer than passion to develop.

Anyone surprised that I haven't heard from him since?


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5287 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ChoosingHope
Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, October 21st (Monday)

haha, Care!

I'm not even dating yet, but I was looking forward to meeting my best friend's cousin who sounded AMAZING. Divorced dad, so cute, and looking for a serious relationship according to my friend.

Unfortunately then I stumbled upon his OLD profile. And I immediately saw that he obviously forgot to tell his cousin/my friend that he is most certainly NOT looking for a serious relationship!

Then I had to go and tell my friend I was stalking her cousin on Match! Now she thinks we're both crazy.

It was all just very awkward!


Posts: 1420 | Registered: Oct 2011
gypsybird87
Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I've only just dipped my toe in the OLD pool, and already got a weird message. He said hello, asked how are you? I replied, and asked how are you? lol... his response:

I have enjoyed the full moons lately. - lobo


Is that a howl I hear???

Too weird for me...


Me: BS, 45 Him: XWH, 45
Together 8 yrs, married for 5
DDay 04.10.13 Divorced 05.14.13
Two furbabies

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~ JK Rowling


Posts: 565 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Some of the best of the worst of the OLD rouges gallery:

I received an angry diatribe for failing to respond to an intro message. Probably the longest string of curse words I'd ever seen I fully admit to being shallow enough to not EVER want to date an unemployed paranormal investigator.

Another OLD goodie was the gentleman looking for a woman who was willing to take medication to induce lactation so he could indulge his adult breastfeeding fetish. This is when I learned to never click links on OLD profiles. Somethings can't be unseen.

One of the most depressing was the guy who was old enough to be my grandfather who was looking for plus size women to model lingerie for him. In his profile he wore a dirty wife beater, and very clearly chose NOT to wear his dentures. He made it clear that I should be grateful for his interest making sure to tell me that "nobody else will want to touch your fat ass". ORLY?


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49406 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
lostandhopless
Member
Member # 41568
Default  Posted: 2:01 AM, February 1st (Saturday)

this is to entertaining not to be bumped.


Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....

Posts: 97 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: WI
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 3:10 AM, February 1st (Saturday)

I love this thread. I kind of almost miss OLD just because of the entertainment value. C'est la vie, I'm sure I'll end up back there someday.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
TheRealDeal
Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 6:08 AM, February 1st (Saturday)

This happened many years ago but still a WTF moment

met a guy, seemed nice, decided to go to dinner. so I drive to his place since it's closer to the restaurant. just meet in the parking lot, I don't go inside. during dinner he starts talking about how he takes meds for panic attacks and he wants to get married and have kids. this is the first date mind you.

But I was young (and apparently pretty dumb) and thought "well, ok, he's being honest with me" but he seems nice soooooo........

date#2 again I drive to his place. meetup in parking lot. he drives to restaurant. we are waiting for a table when his PARENTS and SIBLINGS arrive!. Yep, they were there to meet "the nice girl" he was dating. He apparently told them we were getting serious and wanted them to meet me!! It turned out they were of a certain faith and were looking for a nice, young lady for their precious son. I told them I wasn't of their faith and they suddenly didn't like me so much...including him!

Ummm, yeah dude, had you asked me what faith I was I woulda told ya, but we hadn't really gotten that far into any relationship. If ya needed to know that so your parents would like your new bride, ask before any 1st date....

we drove back to his place after meeting-the-family-date-night. I tell him we aren't for each other, it won't work, blah, blah, blah.

He replied "the least you could have done is sleep with me before breaking up with me"

No more to be said after that, and I literally ran away. No joke....ran to my car. he tried calling a few times but I never answered/returned his calls. so grateful that he never learned where I lived.



Me: 44
him: 53
together 18 years
DDay 1 March 2013
Dday 2 April 27, 2013
Dday 3 June 1, 2013

after a longtime of fence-sitting I pushed him off in late November...we are in R
Someone who genuinely loves you does not deliberately hurt you.


Posts: 209 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
million pieces
Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, February 1st (Saturday)

"the least you could have done is sleep with me before breaking up with me"

It never hurts to ask


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1142 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, February 1st (Saturday)

It's been a while since I've seen this thread. I can't believe DCK had the chance to date a Ghostbuster and passed on it!


I promise to surround myself with amazing souls and love them fiercely.

Posts: 19139 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, February 1st (Saturday)

oooo….I have another one to add: "Admonish Man", he is clearly in my "WTF?" file.

I was emailing with a new guy from OLD. He seemed OK, but I did get a little of an "hmmmm…." when we were emailing. Kept telling me how involved he was in church, was a little too negative about his ex, his emails were a tad too formal. It was enough that I was a tad concerned, but tried to "push through it" to meet him. After all, it is hard to judge people via email alone.

We scheduled a phone date, and in person meet up for the day after the phone date. I emailed him that morning and said I was headed out to garden…to which he replied, "I hope you get dirty, hot and sweaty". I decided to end the "relationship" at that moment. I was just getting too creeped out by his emails.

So, I ended it via email and told him that I was no longer interested and wished him well.

By that night I received a 3 paragraph email where "I should admonish you for leading me on". (btw, admonish means to punish severely)
Then he started texting me basically the same. Both which he received crickets from me.

My BFF bought me a taser for Christmas after "Admonish Man".


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 40, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3580 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

First date last night. Off of OLD, so I've never met the guy. We've only barely e-mailed and not talked on the phone. I've found that I don't want to invest much time before I actually meet the guy as I really need to judge chemistry in person.

He's picking the place and asks me to meet him in the parking lot of a grocery store in town. I figure it's because it's near a lot of bars and he wants to be able to walk me to my car after and/or not have me have to walk a few blocks to meet.

We meet, and I ask him where we're going.

He replies: "Right here. Since we both like to cook, I thought we could go grocery shopping and then cook dinner."

Me: "At your place?"

Red pants guy: "Well, yeah...wherever" (Where else? It's negative 10 degrees outside so it's not like we could go to a park.)

Me: "I really don't feel comfortable going to your place when we've never met. Let's go to a bar or restaurant."

He was just shocked that I wasn't ok with this! Also, a lady just got murdered in my town by her boyfriend that she meet off of OLD (they'd been together a month or two, but still.)

And he was wearing red pants.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3093 | Registered: Dec 2011
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

And he was wearing red pants.

Hipster?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13181 | Registered: Jul 2011
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

He's from California originally, so red pants might be more common there. It's just not seen much here, and I live in a very liberal college area.

Actually, his shirt was paisley purple and he kept talking about bands I'd never heard of (and I know a lot of obscure bands) so hipster might be the right descriptor!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3093 | Registered: Dec 2011
cissi
Member
Member # 21737
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

Californian here - RED pants are not the norm here!!

LOL just needed to clarify that.


Posts: 1315 | Registered: Nov 2008
Toodevoted
Member
Member # 33149
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, February 6th (Thursday)

This thread had me chuckling

I was set up on a blind date once. I pulled into the pub car park where we’d arranged to meet, middle of the week, very quiet and he pulls up next to me. He beckoned me to get into his car, so I went over, opened the door and he asked if we could just sit in his car and chat until he’d finished his cigarette and then go into the pub. I reluctantly did. He started to tell me how his ex was a psycho, how she couldn’t have done better than him (flash house, flash car) and all he expected was that she was home for 5pm for his dinner to be ready…. And the ironing done… and the cleaning….. How it really wasn’t too much to ask… how the psycho could never do as well as him and her new bloke was a loser…

I wasn’t liking how the conversation was going so said

Me: “shall we go into the pub now?”
Him: do you mind if we don’t?
Me: I thought were going to have something to eat?
Him: I can’t
Me: urm why not?
Him: because look I haven’t got any socks on (wtf!!)

I was trying to think of some sort of reply when my phone rang,, it was my sister who was babysitting so I apologised and said I had to take the call. When I’d finished he asked who it was and immediately went on to say it had better not had been a man because when you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t have males calling you and was I sure it was my sister and he’d not be happy if I was lying to him, he even took the phone off me to look at the call log!

I was sort of speechless by this point and then he asks what I want to do next and that he doesn’t see the point in spending lots of money and time on dates if you’re not sexually compatible in the end, it’s just a waste of money and his time so he prefers to have sex asap to get it out of the way (speechless again) I declined his generous offer, in a nice way because I was sort of wondering if he was taking the piss!

He then said “ok well are you going now?”
Me: Going where?
Him: Home to think about it
Me: think about what?
Him: think about if we’re in a relationship or not!!!

I told him it didn’t work like that, you go on dates and progress to a relationship, so he said “oh well girls in (his town) must be different to girls in (my town!)

I told him yes I was going so he said he’d call me later to see if we were in a relationship or not…. and he did call me too!!! By the time I’d got home I came up with all of the things that I should have said to him so told him over the phone. He gave me a whole load of abuse, said I was worse than his ex psycho and how he’d had a very lucky escape, good luck to me because I needed it and he could understand why I was single

Shortest date ever though, can’t have been more than 10-15 minutes


BS (me): 44
WH: 44
DD: Dec 2009 but let him rugsweep

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2011
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, February 7th (Friday)

Toodevoted --


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 525 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, February 7th (Friday)

I just love this thread!

Red pants - On a good note, he was wearing pants.

No socks guy - WTH is right.

Sex before we break up guy - Wow....I wonder what faith he is in that encourages this.


When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Gomphus
Member
Member # 29779
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, February 7th (Friday)

Ok, I'll try to share one. I was in OLD for a bit when I moved to a new area and was messaged by a woman. Her profile indicated she was pursuing a phd and she seemed interesting enough so we met for coffee. We talked a bit about doctorates and it turns out she was just talking to a professor about potentially doing a doctorate. Fair enough. She also only had a BS, and most phd programs require an MS nowadays unless you're stellar so I was thinking, wow. Phd was to be in astronomy, which I though, ok, didn't know you could get a phd in that but a good program. Then she goes on for 20 minutes about how she's going to research the colony of aliens that originally inhabited earth, like I knew about this 'theory'. I forget what it's called, but she was referring to some theory about a planet that came through earth's orbit long ago and seeded the human population. Well, it is supposed to come back and she was going to collect data, blah, blah. I didn't know what to say. Then she tells me she still lives with, and sleeps with, her bf at his parents house. She tried to hug me and asked for a second date but I declined.


me - 41 BH
D'ed
Surviving

Posts: 425 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: VA
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, February 8th (Saturday)

Gomphus - that research sounds... ummm... interesting?

But the kicker?

Then she tells me she still lives with, and sleeps with, her bf at his parents house. She tried to hug me and asked for a second date but I declined.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22533 | Registered: Aug 2011
roughroadahead
Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, February 9th (Sunday)

 "unless you're stellar so I was thinking, wow. Phd was to be in astronomy"

... no pun intended?


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 707 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
notmeanymore
Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, February 10th (Monday)

I love this thread.

Once my friends husband decided to set me up with a friend of his. We emailed and made plans to meet up. He told me I'd recognize him because he had a red go-tee. Go-tee? I thought he would be wearing a red t-shirt with GO on it.

On another blind date my date asked me if I knew what the word was that described a plant leaf that was green and white. He knew the answer, he was...quizzing me on vocabulary. What is variegated for $200 Alex.


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 838 | Registered: Feb 2006
Topic Posts: 166