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User Topic: the bar scene
PlainsGirl29
Member
Member # 33520
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)

Wow! It is crazy out there, and some of the pick up lines really? I went out with friends and family last night for my bday. As we were leaving some guy tried to bait me by saying his wife died, he was about 30, I bluntly said "seriously?" He said no, I then gave him a piece of my mind, told him my mom died at 44 and it is not ok to.be going saying stuff like that.

I then realized if I were to ever meet a decent guy at a bar in the future I better be picking because sharks abound in the bar.

[This message edited by PlainsGirl29 at 6:00 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)]


Posts: 1146 | Registered: Oct 2011
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)

"Wanna breed?"

Probably not the same bar. Sorry, carry on.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 6:44 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7407 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)

I don't get pick up lines at all. Do they actually work in real life?

I've only ever had 1-2 said to me, but I shot the guy down each time. Too creepy for my taste.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3295 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)

I grew up in a bar; they are generally not where you want to look for love...


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19947 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)

I've certainly done the bar thing, and had results in the past, but it would not be my preferred method of meeting people...lol.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4436 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
TheBigA
Member
Member # 35448
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)

My WS got her bar degree and I don't mean a lawyer. I guess she is pursing her life long ambitions at 45. Now she doesn't have to go far for OM


BS:me 47
WS:her 44
D 15
S 12
Together 26 yrs M 19
Exposed 4/17/12

“It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.” The reward, No Alimony.


Posts: 216 | Registered: Apr 2012
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, September 22nd (Saturday)

I live in a college town, and I would no more go to the bar to meet someone than I would swim in a cesspool searching for a diamond.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24726 | Registered: Aug 2011
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 2:16 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

Personally I don't see how bars are any worse than dating sites.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49464 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
PlainsGirl29
Member
Member # 33520
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

I agree DCK, I am sure there are many nice guys at the bars, but only they are reserved, shy etc. My problem was the ones that try to talk wait til closing, there was a group of guys trying to talk to some of us and that was at the very end of the night, they weren't giving crazy pick up lines though. I guess my experience has been I cannot go to the bar and not get pick up lines but some are just strange, I see many threads on the crazy online dating world and wanted to chime in it can be crazy irl too.

Posts: 1146 | Registered: Oct 2011
PlainsGirl29
Member
Member # 33520
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

Meeting a guy at a bar is above online dating for me lol.

Posts: 1146 | Registered: Oct 2011
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

I have been going to the bara lately because I like to dance. I should add that since my friends don't really like to dance, I have gone by myself. I have guys just ask me over to talk when they see I am alone.

I have to say that there is no way that I would be expecting to find anything but a 1 nite stand at a bar. In the past, it really has only resulted in a makeout session and those guys looking for "cougars".

Some say after we have talked all nite that they will call to go out in the next week but never do.

I just look at it as I am meeting someone just for that nite and that's it. I don't like going to the bar, but this seems the only place where dancing is possible.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
PlainsGirl29
Member
Member # 33520
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

I go to dance too, t2b, sometimess u get bored of dancing at home lol

Posts: 1146 | Registered: Oct 2011
dreamrunner
Member
Member # 36901
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

My sister met her husband in a bar, and they've been married for over 30 years!

Posts: 135 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: West Coast
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

I just think there's a lot of drinking going on and you don't know if they are lit or not.

I wish I could have been married for 30 years instead of this garbage!


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
completeshock
Member
Member # 19334
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

I think bars can be just like any place else you meet people. If you go there to have a night out with friends, dance, have a few drinks and happen to hit it off with someone then it can work out great. If you go there with the intent to be on the prowl and pick someone up, well then the chances of it working out are not so great in my opinion.


Sometimes you have to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 1738 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: East Coast
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

The thing with bars is the obvious, there's lots of alcohol involved, which can add in all sorts of variables.

There's the one night stand variable, there's the beer goggles variable, , I've definitely been burned by that one before, , there's the variable Plains mentioned - the 2 a.m. troll, their last shot to take a drunk girl home, lol, and then there are, of course, a few nice guys there.

Now online dating has it's own crazy variables, but I don't have to get dressed up and go out to "troll" lol, only when I'm actually going to meet someone, although sometimes the guys you meet do drive you to want to drink...lol.

I think everyone tries different avenues at different times - it's just what works for you.

[This message edited by persevere at 11:23 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)]


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4436 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, September 23rd (Sunday)

I don't do bars or on line dating...

But then, I really don't do anything about dating


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19947 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, April 1st (Tuesday)

Reviving this old thread due to having the most disgusting pickup line ever used on me yesterday.

I was at a baseball game, and my friend and I were hanging out in the concourse, waiting for another friend to join us.

These two guys came over to us and said,

"Did you grow up on a chicken farm?"

We told them to leave us alone.

They responded: "Because you sure know how to make a cock grow."

Can you ever imagine saying something similar to a stranger, no matter how drunk you were? SO GROSS!!!!!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3295 | Registered: Dec 2011
mixedemotions
Member
Member # 35810
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, April 1st (Tuesday)

How to make a cock grow? EW.

Maybe we should start a new thread for ridiculous lines, my latest one happened in a grocery store parking lot...

I was walking through the parking lot towards the store, saw a truck come careening around the corner so naturally I stopped and anticipated waiting till it passed. The driver slowed down to a crawl and we did the awkward "you go" "no you go" dance, till finally I just walked past.

The driver leaned out of the window and yelled so loudly "CAUSE YOU CUTE! I WASN'T GONNA STOP!"

What a gentleman. I'm...um...flattered? Nope.


Me: Former BW, 28
Divorced 10/11/12
He didn't show up for the D...very fitting, seeing as he didn't show up for the M, either : )
"What did not demolish me simply polished me, now the clearer I can see" - India Arie

Posts: 381 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Back in the Southeast!
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, April 1st (Tuesday)

I feel like this is now a free association thread, where the next post has to be inspired by the previous post.

Two years ago, I was out running. I had been having a bad day running (witnessed some verbal domestic abuse) and a guy in a truck that was driving by yelled out to me, "You're beautiful! I love you!"

I posted a Missed Connection on craigslist. I was very clear that I would not be responding to anyone who e-mailed me, but that I'd been having a bad day and while I usually hate it when guys yell things out the window at me, this one made me laugh.

I had somewhere between 15-20 guys e-mail me claiming to be the one who yelled at me out their car window! It was crazy! I didn't respond to any of them, but that was my first glimpse into the land of weird craigslist people.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3295 | Registered: Dec 2011
nolight
Member
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, April 1st (Tuesday)

All those guys claiming to be the one who yelled at you is hilarious!

I don't think the bar scene is the place to go to meet a potential partner, although I don't do online dating either. I am going out to some bars with friends this weekend although I'm staying sober so at least I will be able to monitor for sleaziness! I think of bars as being somewhere to go to have fun with friends and dance, not to meet men.

This raises an interesting question though, when you're over 30 where do you go to meet people?


Posts: 473 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Hawaii
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, April 1st (Tuesday)

This raises an interesting question though, when you're over 30 where do you go to meet people?

All my male friends tell me that the single guys they know stay home playing video games, which does not bode well for my non-OLD dating future :) I'm 35.

I have made a ton of female friends and married male friends through activities -- volunteering, running, etc. However, it seems like most guys who do those things are attached.

My friends (like 10-15 of them) have all told me that the single guys in my age range they know are single for a reason and they wouldn't set up their worst enemies with them (some friend endorsement!)

I don't know. It's weird. I've been open to a relationship for about 8 months now, but keep hitting dead ends on OLD and no ends in real life! I know tons of single, intelligent, attractive ladies, but all of the intelligent, attractive guys I know are taken! Yet I am an optimist at heart and still hope to find one someday. "They" always say it happens when you least expect it.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3295 | Registered: Dec 2011
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I've never done OLD, but I met my SO in a bar 4 years ago and now we are living together. He is the best man I've ever known!

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7665 | Registered: Aug 2005
Must Survive
Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I look at it this way. If I am at a bar, and I am a good person, don't over drink, etc. Then there must be male counterparts that are good in the bar also.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 703 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
LineInTheSand
Member
Member # 20399
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

If I am at a bar, and I am a good person, don't over drink, etc. Then there must be male counterparts that are good in the bar also.


I agree! I'm not a bar person per se but I have gone recently. I've enjoyed the karaoke, and I was hit on by both a woman and a young guy.

I don't drink alcohol, but I do like to dance.


Posts: 494 | Registered: Jul 2008
kg201
Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, April 3rd (Thursday)

So I knew my STBX from our college days, so I never did the adult bar scene. I can't imagine using a pickup line, and I am wondering where guys who use them learn them...and if it ever works for them? Of course the purpose of a pick-up line might be very different, because if can't imagine any conscious woman falling for them.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 647 | Registered: Aug 2013
risingfromashes
Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, April 3rd (Thursday)

For those of you who go to bars only because you like to dance, but must suffer the fools on the prowl, I have found the best solution possible. I go to a local gay bar. I dance like crazy, have a really fun time and no one hits on me! Have met some wonderful men that will never say some creepy pick-up line.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1611 | Registered: Mar 2004
PhoenixRising88
Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, April 3rd (Thursday)

One cheesy pickup line my sister had to endure...

Some strange dude walks up to her in a grocery store parking lot and says "You wanna see me pull an elephant out of my pants?"

To which she coolly replied, "I don't know, you wanna see ME pull a .45 out of my purse??"

She said he damn near ran the other direction..

:)


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, April 3rd (Thursday)

^^^ Bahahaha! I've met lots of guys in lots of different places. I love dancing with my girlfriends but am not keen to meet someone on the dance floor. I left that in my 20s.

I hate sleazy/cheesy pick up lines but I have to admit the funny ones do work on me. Charm goes a long way.

Best, most successful pick up line? "Hi, I'm James" (use your real name). I generally talk to any guy who talks to me - as long as they don't do anything stupid or rude. I've been known to chat guys up myself.

Chats sometimes it turn into dates - sometimes it's just a really nice conversation. I actually had a guy come over and compliment me on not being rude to the guys talking to me. I don't get why women are rude - my girlfriends do it and it makes me cringe. Give the guy a break, he is just having a chat.

I don't give off a fuck me vibe or a fuck off vibe. I'm aiming for that sweet spot somewhere in between.

The best way to meet people is through friends of friends or via a chatty friend like me. I've set up a few of my GFs in their current relationships. All great guys (one great girl too!).


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5526 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
stronger08
Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 4:47 AM, April 4th (Friday)

I gave up drinking years ago. But I will hit a bar from time to time to see old friends. My post D life has had no luck meeting quality women in bars, but I would not discount them completely. Ya never know when the right person will suddenly pop into your life. Chances are your going to meet drunks at bars, but there is always the chance that a good person will be in one for reasons other then getting drunk. One thing I've always liked about meeting people at bars is that its almost always a very relaxed scene. People tend to be funny as hell when they have a couple in them. I guess it depends on the type of bar as well. The old neighborhood bucket of blood complete with the resident cartel of drunks would not cut it. But a cool place with a cool crowd is always a fun night.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5587 | Registered: Nov 2007
libertyrocks
Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, April 4th (Friday)

No bars! That's the advice I was given. At least going out dancing is a bit better.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 954 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
traicionada
Member
Member # 10310
Shutup  Posted: 11:43 AM, April 6th (Sunday)

I went bar hoping last night to celebrate my sister 25th b-day and at the first one I got hit on by a lady & at the last one by a kid who didn't look old enough to be drinking. Yup! I'm so over the bar scene


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3263 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
Topic Posts: 32